BURNING EMBERS
by missmusicteach
Summary: Touring with four rock gods is the thing of dreams. Annie's family are these rockers. They have watched over her since she was four years old. She loves all four but her heart has a secret. Tour life starts to take a hold of her when she can't shake off a serious illness. It scares the hell out of her when she receives the results. OOC, AU, HEA.
1. Prologue

BETA Halo140 (Thanks!)

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

 _Touring with four rock gods is the thing of dreams. Annie_ _'_ _s family are these rockers. They have watched over her since she was four years old. She loves all four but her heart has a secret. Tour life starts to take a hold of her when she can_ _'_ _t shake off a serious illness. It scares the hell out of her when she receives the results. Annie realizes her life will never be the same again._ _OOC, AU, HEA_ _._

 _Characters: Christian Grey, Elliot Grey, Luke Sawyer, Ethan Kavanagh, Anastasia Wilks._

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot and some dialogue is  highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning (Please be aware of all the disclaimers - if you review and state it's just like the rocker series, well I have already warned you).

 **WARNING:** This is a story about abuse, abandonment, a taboo relationship oh and of course rockers.

I have pre-written 12-13 chapters which about 10 of them need work. The rest of the story has been planned out and semi-written (another 13 chapters with an epilogue). I am hoping to post twice a week which will give me time to edit/write the remaining chapters (no promises, it may drop to once a week). The story isn't original since I've based it around a series I read when I was sick last month. Yes there is a reason why Ana's surname is Wilks which you will discover throughout the story.

* * *

 **PROLOGUE**

The night sky switched on like a flashlight and the smelly dampness in the air made my chest hurt. It is raining again. The droplets are dripping down my broken window, seeping through the cracks in the glass.

I love the rain; but not the scary rumbles and explosions in the sky. The bright lights aren't too bad. It's the rumbly thunder that makes me jump. It always makes me think of Momma when she's crazy, silly on medicine. Sometimes it's pills, or the yucky drinks but lately she uses sharp needles in her arms. Then there's the boys. Not like my age but really old maybe like twenty, I don't know? Thirty, that sounds really old to me. Yuck thirty.

Tonight I have double trouble. The storm trying to make its way into my bedroom from my window and through my bedroom door. Momma is going to hurt me. Why does she hurt me?

I was praying on my knees. The corner seemed warm and safe in the dark. I clamped my fingers together. They were a little sticky and smelled like sick. I whisper my words and pray really really hard. I squeezed my eyes shut tight, hoping he'll hear me a little better. Maybe he will make Momma go to sleep so I don't need to be scared.

Oh no, my nose it's dribbling, running down my face. I'm trying not to sniff but I can't stop it makes my ears hurt.

He wasn't listening. It wasn't working. My eyes are leaking again. Oh no I sniffed too, _owie_.

Maybe God couldn't hear me over the storm. It was really loud and I didn't like it. It seems like God never listens no matter what time I pray to him. Is he even real? Momma curses God a lot so I know she believes in him, so maybe I should too.

 _Tuck you God._

It's not working.

"Shut up you little shit." Momma's old boy bashed my door.

I'm scared. I'm afraid. I don't want Momma or her old boys to hurt me again. I need to go.

I slipped through my window and the rain soaked through my thin pink tee shirt and grey leggings. I didn't have any other clean clothes. They were smelling funny. The drops in the sky dribble over my lumps and bumps on my body. They add to my leaky face as they try to wash away the cuts and burns Momma left after she went after me with a razor and lighter. She made sure I would stay quiet and used her fist and the heel of her shoe. It was sharp.

I'm numb and use to the pain. I don't feel it anymore. I only feel the cold and when I'm alone.

I couldn't find any shoes before I left Momma's trailer, so my bare feet were covered in sloppy mud. There is only one place I can think of that has comfy ground. I'm relieved when my dirty feet meet the snugly soft grass. It's the section that separates the run down trailer I live in to the one that Cwistin calls his resis… resists… resitants… residans. I can never say the word, it's too hard because my tongue is usually puffy and swollen. Cwistin never lets me call it home. He says it's never a home if no one loves you in it.

I don't think Momma loves me.

With my feet on the grass I pray to God again and hope his mom hasn't decided to clean his room. I don't want the window locked. He always leaves it open for me. Just in case for nights like this. Stormy nights.

I try my best to tip the old faded plastic chair. It's covered in water and trickling over the sides. It's really slippery, I try to be careful. I don't want to slip as I need to use it as a ladder to climb up to Cwistin's window. It's so high up and I'm only little. I try to slide the window open. It bucks in the tracks. I try again and it's really hard as my fingers are cold and wet.

" _Nooo!_ " I cried onto the glass and my fingers keep scratching at it.

I wiped my tears, but I'm so wet already it's not helping. I keep sniffing and it's hurting my ears. His mom has cleaned his room. The window is locked. I wish I had a coat and some shoes. I need to get warm… I need to get away from Momma. Lukie and Eeffin's trailers are too far away. Their windows really high up for me to get inside. I want to be bigger. Bigger like them. What am I going to do? I'm so cold.

The rumbles are here again. They are getting louder. My lip is shaking I… I… I'm really scared. I don't like storms.

My throat lets out a cry and I cover my mouth quick. I need to be quiet or Momma will hear me, her old boys will hear me.

I slide my matted hair away from my face. Rubbing in the pieces of fluff and now I have sticky mud in it. I don't have a brush. Momma says that costs money; money we don't have. Even my bangs are too long. I need to ask Eeffin to cut them for me again. I move my bangs. _Owie_. My cheek hurts when I touch it.

Momma likes to slap me, she likes my cheeks and the back of my head. I've got old bumps on my head. Tonight I was her target since she used the needles again and drinking from the big bottles. She tries to stab the needles in me and she has before but now I try and fight back. Sometimes I get away. Sometimes I don't.

The sound of squidgy foot steps are getting closer. Oh no they are from the across the grass.

 _It_ _'_ _s Momma._

I spoke to God in my head. I only want him to hear me. No one else. _Save me God, please save me. I need someone to love me._

Momma is trying to find me for round three or four. I've lost count. My heart is beating so fast, it's hurting in my chest. _Please listen God. I_ _'_ _m scared. What do I do? I don_ _'_ _t know what to do._

The sky lights up like the marks on Momma's arms. It squiggles in the sky. I curl over on the grass covering my face and my mouth. Momma can't hear me.

It's dark again.

I do the only thing I can think of. I move some bricks and a long piece of wood at the bottom of Cwistin's trailer. I try and move it quickly but it's heavy. The bricks scratch my hands. A nail cuts open my leg a little. It starts to rain harder, and my body is shaking. I move fast and use all the strength I have. Finally the space is big enough so I can get underneath his resis… resists… resitants… residans. My tongue hurts.

Whimpering as I crawl underneath it's dry and much warmer. I try my best to pull the piece of wood back so no one will know I'm here. So Momma won't know I'm here. I pull my hands back to find old water hoses, and gardening tools. I tuck my arms inside my pink shirt and put it over my knees so that I don't touch anything, only me. I lean against the side of the trailer and I rest my eyes. I pray to God one last time so Momma doesn't think to look for me here.

…..

The air is thick and warm. I must have fallen asleep. I can't remember. I usually have dreams, scary dreams about Momma… but there was nothing. The rumbles and rain has stopped. When I rub my eyes I hear Cwistin and Eeffin calling my name. Both sound worried.

" _Annie?_ "

Cwistin is right beside me on the other side of the wood.

" _Ana?_ "

He sounds sad.

I kick the wood out of the way, they don't notice me at first.

Cwistin is standing with Eeffin. I see they both have on their band shirts that they let me help design and sort of choose the color. They wouldn't let me choose pink, but they gave me my reasons. _"_ _Only little girls like pink and little girls can_ _'_ _t come to our shows. We are sorry Annie. When you are bigger you can come and have every pink shirt you want._ _"_

Eeffin has his two drum sticks in his back pocket of his ripped black pants. I can see the pink Band-aids I put on them for his grips. He said it makes him play really really good. But his two tight fists scare me. Eeffin looks angry. He's always angry when Momma hurts me and I need to hide. Cwistin looks different. He looks sad. I don't want him sad. It makes me cry and my tears drop down my _owie_ cheeks.

" _She wouldn_ _'_ _t have gone far._ _"_ Cwistin called to Eeffin.

" _That fucked up bitch of a mother! If I didn_ _'_ _t think that services would be here in a fucking second flat and take Annie away I would be calling the fucking pigs over that low life cunt._ _"_ Eeffin grumbled to Cwistin.

" _They will Eth. Annie will be in a worse place than she already is if you make that call. At least here we can watch out for her, take care of her. Actually love her. Someone needs to love her man._ _"_ Cwistin tells Eeffin.

It's what they always talk about every time when Momma has had her way with me. If they tattle on Momma, then social surfers will take me. Take me away from everyone, especially my friends. My boys. It isn't safe in foster care. Cwistin tells me all the time. I'm six, almost seven and I understand what that means.

Trying my best I crawl out from underneath the trailer. I'm so stiff and hurting really bad. There is crusty mud stuck everywhere. I know I'm going to get sick. I don't want to be sick, I don't want to miss school. I like school. I get away from Momma but I don't have any friends.

I tried to speak but my voice was gone. My eyes are tired. Suddenly I feel the hands of two boys pull me out and up. As soon as my feet are freed I curl into Cwistin's big arms.

" _Fuck man."_ Eeffin grumbles again. _"_ _She looks fuck-ing bad Chris._ _"_ He tries to whisper but I heard what he said.

I know what he means. I look like a monster. A monster like Momma.

" _Shut up dude. Don_ _'_ _t say that stuff around her._ _"_ Cwistin barks at Eeffin like a big dog.

His arms cuddle me, surround me, hold me. I can see the cogs ticking in his head, he's thinking where to take me? Where to hide me? So Momma can't find me.

Flicking my head to my trailer I can here Momma laughing with an old boy. I could hear the TV on in Cwistin's trailer. If his mom sees me, she will call. We can't go to either one.

" _My Mom_ _'_ _s on night-shift. No one_ _'_ _s home._ _"_ Eeffin is walking in the direction of his trailer. _"_ _Fuck, come on man!_ _"_ He yells waving us over, I think to move faster.

" _Don_ _'_ _t say that around Ana._ _"_ Cwistin hisses with his teeth really close together.

…..

In Eeffin's room I couldn't stop shaking. I'm cold and so sore.

" _Quick we need to get her warm._ _"_ Cwistin says. _"_ _Eth start running some water so I can bathe her._ _"_ Eeffin follows Cwistin's orders.

I can hear water running in the bathroom. Cwistin stands me in front of him, pulling off my sticky wet clothes. I don't stop him. He peels off my leggings and doesn't touch my favorite pinky spotty panties with a little ribbon at the front. He never touches my _private regions_.

His breath hitches and he stops when he sees the marks all over me. His eyes look at all the colors of black, blue, purple and yellow. The cuts, some small but others deep on my arms and legs, but he twists me around and sees the deep ones on my back and a few on my stomach. I could see in his eyes, he's sad again. I see he has a tear.

" _Shit you look like the Phoenix, with red feathers and flames all over you._ _"_ His words were soft but I pretended I couldn't hear him. I don't know what it means? _"I'_ _m sorry Ana._ _"_ Cwistin whispers and tries to hold my naked body but I hurt. I can feel the pain now. _"I'_ _m so sorry baby girl._ _"_ He strokes my hair out of my eyes.

I can't say anything, I'm too weak and tired. I don't understand why he's sorry? He didn't hurt me. Cwistin never hurts me, he makes it better. This wasn't his fault. He's not a bad boy. It's never his fault.

I might be six, almost seven but I know that he can't always save me. My boys can't always be here for me. They have a band. I wish I could play in their band, but I'm too little. They are in high school. Cwistin's big brother Lelliot tries to explain it to me. I wish I was older. Older like them.

" _Christian!"_ Eeffin calls out and it makes me jump a little. _"_ _I don_ _'_ _t know man, is the water too hot for Annie. Can you come here and check it out._ _"_

Cwistin holds my hand and we walk slowly towards the bathroom. The tiles are cold on my feet as he bends in splashes the water around. I guess to feel if it's okay?

" _This is perfect dude._ _"_ Cwistin lifts me, I feel like I'm flying and he slowly places me into the bath.

I cry out loud in pain as the warm water bites my cuts and sores. It hurts and my eyes are open. My lip won't stop shaking. I can't hold it anymore. It was warm and dribbling down my leg. I didn't mean to pee, I'm not a baby. _Only babies piss themselves_ , Momma always says to me. I stare at Cwistin scared, breathing really fast and I think he's going to yell at me like Momma. So I jump into the tub, splashing the water up so no one can see the color of the water. It really hurts my _owies_.

Cwistin holds my shoulders and looks at me. I can't look my head starts to shake. I've been naughty. I don't want him to hit me. I start to sniff and it hurts again.

" _Baby girl. It_ _'s ok. Don'_ _t worry. Ethan does it allll the time and he_ _'_ _s almost 17._ _"_

" _Hey shut up man. When I gotta take a slash, I pee Ok!_ _"_ Eefin punches Cwistin in the arm and they laugh.

Soon I stop shaking and I giggle a little. I don't feel so bad now. Why would I think that he would do anything bad? I need to stop being scared. Cwistin uses a soft cloth and washes me, trying to be gentle as he cleans my sores over my body. His jaw is tight and more tears drop from his eyes.

Eeffin is showing me dolls that are his little sisters. She's six, almost seven like me. We don't see her anymore. Eeffin and his little sister have different moms and her mom doesn't like the trailer park. Her dolls are so pretty. I miss my doll. I can't find my doll that Daddy gave me. It's gone.

Once Cwistin finished he wraps me in a towel. It's not pink but that's ok, it's green boys must like the color. My sores start to bleed on the scratchy towel.

" _We_ _'_ _re lucking Luke and Ell aren_ _'_ _t here. They would be passed out on the floor._ _"_ Effen laughs at Cwistin. I don't know why, are they talking about growned up stuff?

Eeffin gives Cwistin a handful of pink band-aids like the ones on his drum sticks. I like pink. It's my favorite color. My eyes open really wide when I see the tube of stingy cream in his other hand. I start shaking my head. I know what Cwistin is going to do and it's going to hurt.

"No." My voice hardly made a sound. " _NO_ , that hurts. I don't want it." I try and say it louder. Cwistin puts a dab of cream on his finger, and I move to Eeffin trying to hide. "No Cwist." I start to cry. "I… _I_ … Don't want it. It hurts me. It hurts like Momma."

" _I know Annie. I know it hurts. If I don_ _'_ _t your sores will get infected._ _"_ He sniffs and wipes his forearm over his eyes to get rid of the water on his cheeks. _"_ _If they get infected you will have to go to the doctor_ _…_ _the hospital._ _"_

The waterfall of tears pour from my face. I don't want the stingy cream but most of all I don't want to go to the hospital. I don't like hospitals. No way.

" _Eth I need you to hold her._ _"_ Eeffin gently holds me, so I can't move. All I can think is it's going to hurt.

Cwistin puts the cream on my sores. I try not to whimper but I do. It's hurts really bad. By the time he is done the tube is empty. Eeffin helps him put on the pink band-aids. After each one they kiss my sores.

Eeffin says what he always says. _"_ _And with this kiss you get better Baby Girl._ _"_

" _Rise again my beautiful Phoenix._ _"_ Cwistin whispers in my ear. I'm not growned up like him and I don't know what that means?

Eeffin tries to find some of his little sisters old clothes that have been left here. I put them on and they are too big.

" _Fuck man! My sister is six and Annie_ _…_ _She_ _'_ _s fucking drowning in them._ _"_

" _Ethan don_ _'_ _t say that. How many times do I need to remind you!_ _"_ Cwistin barks like a dog to Eeffin.

His big voice makes me jump.

" _Annie, I_ _'_ _m sorry._ _"_ He rubbed my hand and it feels nice when Cwistin is nice to me. _"_ _When was the last time you ate?_ _"_ Cwistin asks.

I only shrug my shoulders. I don't know? I eat, only when Momma gives me food. I can't remember? I know I'm hungry. My tummy hurts sometimes and it makes me sick on the floor.

When Cwistin makes a few wiggles and knots to my outfit, the clothes don't fall off anymore. He's so strong and carries me back to Eeffin's room. I feel so little when Cwistin picks me up. It's like I'm a little baby. I hope he doesn't think I'm a baby. I'm six almost seven. He puts me into Eeffin's bed and tucks the blankets around me that smell like high school boys. It smells funny but a lot better than my room.

Lukie and Lelliot come into the room. I've missed them. They have a bag each from different stores. First a big box of medicine is placed on the bedside table. Cwistin gives me a big gulp of Tylenol and then they feed me. Lukie got my favorite. A cheese burger with fries in the middle and a Dr Pepper. My tummy grumbles.

"Yes please." I rub my hands together happy about my favorite food.

My tummy hurts when I swallow my first bite. I feel sick.

" _Hey man, Annie doesn_ _'_ _t look good._ _"_ Lukie calls out to everyone.

Just as I start being sick, Cwistin puts a trash can under my mouth.

" _It_ _'_ _s ok baby girl._ _"_ He rubbed circles on my back. " _I love you baby girl. Don_ _'_ _t forget it. I will always love you._ _"_ He whispered in my ear only for me too hear.

Once I felt better I gobbled down my burger with the fries in the middle. I was so happy and drank a whole can of Dr Pepper. I even burped like Cwistin and Eeffin. Lukie smiled at me as he pulled out a surprise from his plastic bag.

" _Just for you Annie. She_ _'_ _s all yours._ _"_ I couldn't believe it. A doll with hair just like mine. Long and brown with bangs. She had a pretty pink dress. She's like a real princess. She looked happy and she made me happy. I whispered into her ear, _Please don_ _'_ _t leave me._

"Fank you Lukie." I crawled up to him and blew him a kiss.

I'm so happy he caught my kiss and swallowed it down into his tummy. He needs love too, his other daddy and Cwistin's daddy isn't nice to him.

" _Any time._ _"_ He smirked sticking his tongue out at Cwistin. Cwistin didn't look very happy.

Cwistin brushed my hair when I was lying down on the bed. It pulled and hurt so I bit on my lip every time the brush caught in my hair. Cwistin is so smart and braids my hair.

" _This should keep your hair nice for a few days baby girl._ _"_ Cwistin voice hummed in my ear.

He is so kind, Momma doesn't braid my hair. She doesn't even brush my hair. Cwistin asked if he could braid my princess's hair and now we look the same. I held the real princess close to my heart. Soon my eyes grew sleepy as I said good night to my four boys. Lukie, Eeffin, Lelliot and my favorite Cwistin.

* * *

 **AN:** Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns. See you in a few days for Chapter 1.

 **missmusicteach**


	2. Ch 01: My Guys

BETA by Halo140.

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER ONE: MY GUYS**

 _ **Annie**_

" _Kiss me_ _…_ _here._ _"_ His voice hummed in the static air.

Squinting my eyes I was embarrassed to look. He had never used these words. Was it true? A single finger waited. The lone digit begged for needed attention, waving and curling watching for my glare. My lids opened slowly to watch as it pointed quite innocently to his hand. My lips pressed on the dry flesh, and as my face drew away his musky scent faded.

" _Now…_ _here._ _"_ He chuckled and it was a fresh release hearing this sound. The tension and embarrassment was gone.

I followed his finger, eyes inspecting the curved shape of his collar bone. My mouth gave three open kisses. The heat of my breath and his warm skin roared like the flames of a fire down my throat. Our combined surface flavour which amazed me, aromas of manly sweat, musk and mint from my breath. Letting out a puff of cool air to douse the heat, it was muscle memory my inner legs unable to hold back an aching throb.

" _Oh and here._ _"_

His calloused palms from hours of rehearsing cupped my smooth face. It wasn't instant but after a slight rumble our eyes locked. A sky of grey grew before me, I wanted to pull myself away from the terror that laid ahead. But I was lost. Always lost in these eyes. These grey eyes never wanted to hurt me rather protect me.

My breath blew in quickly dragging him closer. We lost the ability to function as two and we were one as our mouths touched. The warm feeling of someone invading you is breathtaking. It was beautiful.

" _Ana now—"_

 **BANG! BANG! BANG!**

"Fuck!" Jumping up in shock, the sound made my head throb.

Barry our overnight tourbus driver pounded the glass where my head rested, only moments ago. Unfortunately for me, waking me from my dream. My fantasy.

Fucking Jesus could he have waited maybe a minute more. The butterflies fluttered around, which never ease up after one of those fantasies or any moment throughout the day lately. It was nauseating. Letting a full breath escape it was comforting yet still concerning only two nightmares made an appearance.

So overall what do I do to get the monster off my mind, is to put him in it. Fantasies which will never become reality. I just wish I had the guts to tell him. Maybe to make them become part of existence rather than sub-conscious pleasure.

Now in the present, my face mostly filled with smiles. Touring is great, actually beyond any expectations of phenomenal. For most living on a tour bus with _Burning Embers_ would be the stuff of dreams for a twenty-one year old. For me it's everyday life.

Pushing my self up on my knees I peered outside the tinted glass and sighed. Thank-you Barry for getting us from A to B yet again. We've made it. The hotel. I can see the two other buses are pulled up and the semi with all the stage, lighting, sound equipment and the precious cargo their instruments are locked away, fingers crossed safe.

It's raining probably closer more to spitting. God I'm totally fine with that and thankful it's not stormy. Even as an adult I still can't stand storms.

Now lets get everyone organized so I can do my three things of pleasure:

1\. A long warm shower;

2\. Consume a fat burger with loads of cheese, fries in the middle and the biggest bottle of ice cold Dr Pepper my bladder can hold; and finally

3\. An uninterrupted sleep.

Number three is always crucial. I constantly lack it these days. My care factor is 50/50 if steps one and two are reversed or skipped altogether. All that matters is I achieve number three. Then I'm one happy girl. When I'm content my guys are right with me.

As my ass pocket vibrated I know my plan is fading beyond my very eyes.

Sliding my phone from my pocket, I'm predicting emails. Opening the home screen I have a fucking shit load of emails from Mr Jackson Hyde _Burning Embers_ most ever absent manager. Shit, now I need to organize two early interviews for tomorrow and three radio segment promo's. Just brilliant. Thanks for the notice Jack-ass!

Pushing my pink blanket off my tired body, I give a small stretch. Time to wake my guys. In my line of sight I can see the sleeping berths and several limbs hanging from three of them.

Okay lets get this show started. With a quick crack of my knuckles I was away.

First up is Luke Sawyer. He's sprawled out on his stomach in his bottom berth. He has a bottle of bourbon his go to, Jim Beam. It must of been a mediocre night since the bottle is still half full.

Above is Ethan Kavanagh snoring like a freight train. Against the other wall Elliot Grey is the eldest on the bus, talking in his sleep, mumbling about some _"dick"_ and _"_ _fucker_ _"_ and did I mention entirely naked.

Leaning against the wall trying to breath through my nose I'm feeling sick again this morning. I don't know what's setting me off? So, I try my best to push it to the side and get on with my job.

 _Ethan Kavanagh_

"Eth!" I yell into his canal as I yanked his ear lobe.

All four are heavy sleepers, but Ethan is the heaviest. Honestly I don't know how they can with all the noise they make in the night. Cussing in their sleep, snoring, farting and God knows what else.

" _Eth!_ Wake the fuck up! Let's go to sleep in a real bed. _Please_ I'm dying here!"

His usually tamed hair was all unkempt, pure scruff. Like a toddler he rubs circles around his eyes, an unusual visual for a bulky guy of all muscle. Four blinks later I guess adjusting to the morning light, Eth gave an animal groan ending in a hiss adjusting his morning bearings. " _Annie?_ "

My smile mirroring back to one of my best friends, singing the words, "Who else?" I blow him a kiss and his eats it all up like when we were younger. Making my way to the reverse end of the bed I heave his leg. "Get up. Get up! GET UP! We're here at the hotel." I inform Eth the only way I can with a crescendo. "I want to sleep on a real bed tonight not the couch or an upright seat okay. I want complete vertical freedom and legs spread."

Sitting up too quick, always miscalculating the space in the berth his head received the full impact. "Fucking Ouch!" He rubbed his head, trying my best to hold in the snicker. "And don't laugh at me Baby Girl. There is no fucking way Annie. Your legs are always staying closed and crossed!" Ethan moans as he rubs his sleepy face and injured head.

"Oh, come on. Not like that you idiot! Do you really think that little of me. I just want space and not be cooped up." I retort, with a punch to his bicep trying to give a little attitude to the beefy guy.

After two false starts and a horrid fart, he finally sits up without knocking himself out. So, I move onto number two.

 _Elliot Grey_

Nice and easy. My two fingers tickle around the chocolate curls surrounding his belly button. His eyes wake instantly gasping for air.

"Annie that's no fair." Elliot pants, trying to catch his breath. "I was having the best dream about three chicks… sucking each of my… three awe-some spaghetti dicks. It was…. _FUCKING AMAZING!_ "

I could tell, by seeing his very present morning wood. "Eww. Ell, um… can you cover up. This is the third time this week I've been exposed to that _thing_. No more, I've had enough."

As if he didn't realize, shocked he covers his overgrown appendage quite promptly. But still in Elliot's fashion giving it a quick tug for good measure, possibly ensuring it will stay attached. I'm not sure? I swear guys need to remind themselves they have a dick fifty times a day. The moan escaping his mouth, gave a shiver down my spine. I did not want to hear it and I most definitely didn't want to react to it.

"And now I have a fucking boner. Jesus Annie must you give me blue balls every single morning!"

Every morning was the same. He denies it every time but his belly button is an erogenous zone because he was completely flaccid when he was unconscious.

"I don't fucking care Ell, up and at 'em! That huge hotel king bed is calling me for _sleep_." I snapped at him.

 _Luke Sawyer_

"Luke!" I take the bottle of Beam from his dangling hand and screw the cap back on. In was in his normal position face in the pillow, dark waves to one side. He was naked from the waste up. With his back bare the endless skulls, tribal pattern tattoos and the central pinkie swear inked outline flexed across his painted canvas as I attempted to wake him. " _Fuuuck._ Luke you need a shower. You reek at a new level of awfulness."

The muscles in my throat tighten and I begin to gag at the stench. "Get. The. Fuck. Up. _You drunk!_ " I kicked him twice in the calf but the odor of stale sweat and regurgitated alcohol continued to fill my mouth. I suck in three large gulps. I couldn't evade it. Stubbing my toe as I tripped on a random leather boot in the walk way I had no time to care but sprint to the compact bathroom. Heaving up dinner from the previous night.

Once the vomit eased I sipped a few mouthfuls of water from the faucet. Opening the door in the corridor, three pairs of extremely tired eyes, including the very hungover Luke locked onto mine.

" _Annie?_ " They all whispered in unison.

"Sis are you ok? You never get sick." Ethan asks with the weight of six elephants on his shoulders. It was obvious he was worried. I haven't been sick like this since I was a kid living in that derelict trailer park in Missouri.

"I'm fine." I paused. Hoping my guys would believe my bluff. "It must of been that veggie burger last night. I told you all I wanted beef, but _no_ … you said I need to eat more vegetables. _Fuck that!_ No more greens!" Hopefully they take the bait.

Ethan took my baited white lie and his smile lit up the whole bus, even the very hungover Luke.

"Umm is your brother awake?" I asked Elliot.

 _Please say yes, please say yes._

"Nope. That's your job sis." Elliot stated.

Great, just fucking great! The person I didn't want to see this morning.

"Well get dress, because I want a quick meeting before we go to our rooms and then I'm out until 5pm. No interruptions. Luke that includes no errands for booze!" I instruct the three men.

My palms started to grow sweaty as my heart began to race. All because I needed to wake Christian. Hopefully they didn't see me blush, but I could see Ethan crawling back into his bunk.

"Don't you fucking dare _Ethan Owen Kavanagh_. Do not go back to sleep! I have a huge bucket of ice on standby. With your name fucking on it." I yelled pointing my finger directly at his gazing eyes.

He grumbles and calls me a wrench, shrew and fucker a few times, but I'm immune to his cusses. Smirking at the guy was my pleasure knowing there is no way he's going to sleep. The bitch was back.

 _Christian Grey_

I made my way at the sitting area at the back of the tour bus. The gaming console was on. Glaring at the screen, a photo-saver was playing. Random pictures were jumping and spinning on then screen. Most were the five of us over the last five years, the odd few of me smiling like a goofball and lastly _Lizzie_. Lizzie Thayer. Just the thought of her made my eyes roll and I started to get a headache. I confirmed that she had her fun with two of the four on this bus but are photos really necessary. This needs to be updated stat! I don't need to see that whore's face ever again especially on the _Burning Embers_ tour bus.

Not wanting to argue at this ungodly hour with my guys I immediately turned it off and plonk down on the two-seater beside Christian. He was in nothing but his black boxer briefs. I was tempted to admire his chest. A perfect chest at that, possibly sneak a peek at his abs. I shook my head I've done that plenty of times before, why am I even bothering or interested now? I woke up to myself and my priorities settled. The achievement… number three.

The quick way to wake Christian is simple, I put my hand over his mouth and pinch his nose. Rightly it could be classified as suffocation but hey it wakes him up in a few seconds, only I wasn't prepared for him to jerk his hands in front and push me.

"You're such a bitch Ana."

The jerking force startles me and I fell to the floor. Always the gentlemen he instantly he helps me up off the floor where I landed.

" _Owie_ " I landed funny on the console and tv remotes. Thank God I have a little padding on my butt these days. I think it's all the burgers I've been munching down. _Mmm burgers with fries_ _…_

" _Ana._ " His hand grips mine waking me from my food dream.

It always does things to me, when he calls me by that name. He's the only one. All my other guys just call me Annie, sis or Baby Girl. Which I'm completely fine with. They have been calling me that since before my fifth birthday. It makes me feel like we have this little bubble and I don't want it to pop.

With my cheeks starting to burn I quickly try and find his shirt. Once it's spotted I leap for it and try to conceal my flush face with my back turned to him.

Handing over Christian's faded Burning Embers t-shirt, he smiled. That facial expression goes straight between my thighs. " _Ahhh baa hoo?_ " I tried my best to string a sentence together but fail miserably. Thank God it was incoherent and at inaudible level for him.

"Did you sleep well Ana?" He said as he pulled his shirt over his head.

"I…I _,_ _I_ …" Sliding my phone from my pocket, looking at the time. "…got about two maybe three hours. So better than the day before. I guess?" I shrugged and slipped it back into the pocket.

"What about you?"

"I only fell asleep as dawn was breaking. So not long."

His eyes looked at his leather bound note book. The cover has large flames and a Phoenix with dark hair and wispy bangs. She seemed to be floating in the flames. I picked it up turning the pages. There was nothing. Not just nothing new, nothing at all. Well this isn't good.

"I've got too much on my mind Ana. The songs are trying to get out… I swear but they are locked in. I just haven't found my… key. You know a muse?" He continued to rubbed his face with his palms.

It had been months since he had written any songs. The other guys had written some, but Christian was the main song writer. The WMR label was starting to get spooked. I knew because Jack would hound me to ensure Christian was writing. Over the last five years he's never had an issue. The songs he had written in the past were dark and we all know where they stem from. Now there was nothing.

Staring at the blank pages, he had doodled on several of them. Mostly flames, daggers, the letters I.S.S. and that Phoenix girl. What surprised me was the odd love heart. Really? A thirty something guy drawing little love hearts. What is he fifteen with a crush? Ha that would be the day!

Shaking off the thought of scribbled hearts… I needed to tell him.

"Yeah… so I had a few dreams last night." I confide, still looking at the drawings in his notebook and still shocked. Love hearts?

Christian stiffens, knowing the dreams I share with him are never pleasant. "You okay?" He asks, reaching for my hand and pulling me onto his lap. "Do you want to talk about it?" Honestly I wanted to confess my fantasy I woke up to, but wimped out.

I rested my head onto his chest. My hand released his notebook and it fell to the floor. His soothing fingers combed through my long brunette curls. I closed my eyes as I snuggle into his neck. God he smelled good… like _really_ good. _I wish he would tell me to kiss him._ And that little though could only make me sigh.

"Yeah… So… like always you guys were taking care of me. It was one of the times when my mother tried to drug me."

Christian's arms embraced me. He started to hug that little too tight but I don't stop him. "I hated that fucking bitch" He hissed. "I hope she's continuing to rot and earth worms are shitting her remains six feet under."

My head nods in agreement, never crying a tear for her or the endless pain she caused me.

My mother. Carla died of a drug overdose almost five years ago. To say I felt sad would be the opposite. I had come back from school and she was half naked on the kitchen laminate. Her body was cold and beginning to turn grey, it was an overwhelming relief. I was seventeen and free of the vile whore. She was never my mother. These four guys cared for me more than she tried to accomplish in seventeen years.

"I dreamed about him again." I mumbled into his chest.

"Your father?"

"Yeah." And they were my only words. I don't know much about my dad, other than his name is or was Raymond Leonard. I don't even know if he's alive.

We sat there in silence, not sure if I should tell him more I remember.

"I need coffee!" He broke the silence. "Or I'm not going to make it through the concert tonight." Christian groans still hugging me and refusing to let go.

Counting to ten I wiggle myself out of his arms. I'm upset with the distance, but I have so much I need to do.

"Chris, I'll make sure you get a strong one." I call over my shoulder as I start to walk to the front of the tour bus.

"You know Ana, it's not your job to get me hot drinks." He yells after me. "I'm a big boy and can get it myself." He giggles.

Oh my god, since when does the thirty-one year old Christian Grey giggle.

Little did he understand it was my job. All my life Christian and the others have taken care of me. Even when they moved away and left me after getting signed, they had still taken care of me. Sending me care packages, money and presents. So many presents. Someone always checked on me every day. They had constantly been touring, from their early twenties to this very day but they still had the time to call. The phone they gave me was my life line to them and of course google.

When Carla died they came back to Missouri. Dropping everything as soon as I had called Christian. They took care of the funeral, burial and her trailer. I suggested to burn it, but they declined. Probably having a criminal record wouldn't look good for their label. When I knew social services were coming I ran, little did I know my mother had a will. When there's a will there is always a way it will be ok, it was surreal and a relief.

My guys were never going to leave me again.

So I became their sister and unofficial fifth member of Burning Embers on tour, but I've always been their sister ever since I was four years old.

I was removed from that hell hole of a trailer park. I thank the legal team and my four guys. They were supportive especially when I wanted to finish my high school diploma. So in a flash they purchased a MacBook Pro, arranged for online classes from the back of a tour bus. The price and time was never an issue. They wanted me to excel.

When it came to choosing college I couldn't. My guys were begging me to tour with them and I've never left. I'm just waiting for the day, because I'm sure it will come. They are all their thirties now. I know they must want to settle down somewhere, make a home, have a family or some shit. I doubt I would be in that picture. Little Annie just taking up space.

But I owe them everything. For taking care of me. Picking me up, putting me back together countless times. Sweeping the ashes away and reigniting my little flame when it would get blown out. Each and everyone of them have saved my mental sanity, fed me, clothed me and most importantly loved me.

Not many people would do that. Not even my mother did. Christian, Elliot, Luke and Ethan were different. They saw me when I was four, took me… warmed me in the burning embers and they made me rise again. They protected me even though they were more than ten years older than me. These guys will always be my family and this is probably my only chance to take care of them.

So in short I do the lot. I handle everything. If they want coffee, I go get coffee. If Luke needs a new case of limited label Jim beam I made sure he gets it. I arrange everything from hotel reservations to… women. I've learned quickly how to rid bad groupies, if I only had more time and resources I would get background checks on each of them, but it's impossible. Elliot is the worse, so many come and go. I wouldn't be surprised if he's reached the one thousand mark. Honestly it's not healthy.

…..

In under forty-five minutes, I had all four of my guys in their individual rooms. By the time I got to my own, I was running on empty. I wanted a bath, but knew I would fall asleep and probably drown. The shower was all I could manage. I swear I was sleep butt naked before my head even hit that fluffy pillow.

…..

There was a constant tap and it was pissing me off. I grabbed my phone and threw it to the other side of the room, and groaned when I realized it wasn't my phone. The sound only increased the longer I took to get up.

" _Annie! Open your fucking door!_ "

Ethan continued to tap his sticks on my hotel room door.

 **R, R, L, L, R.**

 **L, L, R, R, L.**

 **R, R, L, L, R.**

 **L, L, R, R, L.**

 **R, R, L, L, R.**

 **L, L, R, R, L.  
**

OH MY GOD! Shut the fuck up! I could tell it was a drum rudiment, a five stroke roll to be exact. I've heard them constantly for the past six years. Opening one eye I tried to focus on the digital alarm clock.

 _Fuck._ I had over slept again. It was well after five, more closer to six. 5:51pm

It was time to head to the stadium for tonight's concert. I quickly jumped out of the bed. A little too quick because it made my head spin. Giving a quick wiggle of my toes I was fine. I wrapped the damp towel around my body from only hours earlier.

I opened the door for the muscly drummer. Ethan strutted in and finally making himself comfortable on my big bed but to him it looked small.

"You kinda look pale Annie." He stated, not even bothering to turn his head as I dropped my towel to dress. I quickly put on my black cotton bra and panties, slipped on my old jeans and pulled over my treasured pink Burning Embers t-shirt.

"Umm Annie. You never, ever oversleep. Are you sure you're ok? You vomited this morning too." Ethan sat up and put the back of his hand over my forehead.

"Oh fuck off, I'm fine. I'm probably just getting my rag."

"Well you have been a moody bitch lately. I wouldn't be surprised." He hooked his brow smirking and I just wanted to slap the guy.

"Hey Eth, I thought you were on my side." I pouted.

"Oh I am, but still I can't put my finger on it. Just take it easy ok sis. Have you got stuff? I can get them for you, no need to stress. You know Tylenol, tampons, chocolate, trashy magazine and a Dr Pepper?"

"I'm good and I'm not eleven having my first period. I'm twenty-one and a woman who can independently organize herself when she's menstruating."

"Aww, she's all grown up." He smiled.

I tried my best to suffocate him with one of the many fluffy pillows on my bed but I have no strength.

To be honest I had been feeling like shit. Run down for a while now. Almost for two, maybe three months. But there was no way in hell I was going to tell Ethan or any of my guys. They would gang up on me and force me to go to the doctor or even worse the hospital. I hate hospitals.

I ruffled my hair, no longer fiery pink rather a dull pastel shade. I was running so late I didn't bother with my usual simple makeup routine. Facing Ethan I found find him frowning.

"I'm fine Eth. Pinky swear." I held up my right pinky and our little fingers hooked instantly.

"You better be, because if anything happened to you… I think it would break us especially Christian." I tensed, trying not to be too obvious. Rubbing my wrist feeling guilty, we told each other years ago we would be honest and open. But here I was lying until my pants were on fire.

I coughed clearing my throat. "Just relax." My nails scraped his scalp as his curls shook. I was trying to distract him and get his head out of this notion I'm sick. Even though I'm a little scared because I've been sick for too long.

"I think we all need a vacay. A long one." Ethan murmured as I continued to massage his scalp. "Maybe we should go home for a while?"

I stopped. Glaring at him. He couldn't be serious, the only home I've had was that fucked up place in Missouri. The only time I want to go back is watch it fucking burn it to the ground, other than that I never want to return.

Walking out the door and making our way to the elevator, I pressed the down button. "And where exactly is home? I've been living in hotel rooms and on a tour bus for the past five years. Don't forget you guys have been doing it for even longer."

"Christian was thinking about buying a house. But we can't decided where we want to settle down."

I coughed at the words _settle down_. Oh my God they want to get rid of me. "Ahh, impossible. _Burning Embers_ never settles, especially down." I chuckled trying to hide my worry.

"Well Ell was suggesting Seattle, Luke wants Boston and I thought Cali maybe Malibu would be nice." Ethan just shrugged his shoulders as he stepped into the elevator tapping on every surface he could. "So What ya think sis?"

I didn't know what to think. From a young age I told myself I would follow my guys anywhere they went as long as we were together. I hadn't expected them to be ready to settle down, even if we were all getting tired of all the travel and moving. "Honestly Eth I've never thought about it." I whispered.

"Well Annie, you need to. We all want to know where you want to live. You know…where you go, we follow." He smiled, and tapped his sticks on my nose.

His words warmed my heart. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight.

* * *

 **AN:** Had trouble with the drum rudiment saving (the document editor on the ff site, was deleting the majority of it, hence why it's over 5 lines).

Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns. See you in a few days for Chapter 2.

 **missmusicteach**


	3. Ch 02: Baby Girl

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER** **TWO** **:** **BABY GIRL**

 _ **Christian**_

On my bed trying to kill the time I memorized every scar, freckle and the muscle lacking on my arms, or just my body in general. _I need to work out and get some beef happening like Eth, this is so sad._ Three sets of eyes glared at me. It was my favorite poster of _Irons Stone Steele_. Secretive, dark and fucking epic. Each band member had a different mask created from their name. Jessie a mask of rusting iron, Tyson roughen stone and finally the God himself Ray a visor of harsh steel blades. His deep blue eyes pierced directly to my grey. _Woah totally deep man._

Their music was amazing. Written from the soul and constantly touring, no fucking miming period. None of this auto-tune shit from these new age 2000 pop stars. Mr Davis says we need to blame Cher for it all, if we could only turn back time. Hopefully one day. I don't care if I'm thirty, forty or even fifty I'm eventually getting out of this shit hole to be a star.

Fuck me, rockers like these guys would never get bored.

" _Hard Steele_ , man what am I going to do? I'm fucking bored shitless!" Knowing I must be losing my mind now resorting to question a colored poster, but all I got in return were three pairs of eyes glaring back.

Boredom!

Squealing the words _I'_ _m going to be the first recorded death of boredom!_ My legs had a mind of their own twitching and shaking. Someone save me!

My mother Ella was in the kitchen trying to clean the stench Stephen had made last night. Trying was the optimistic word. I think it always ends up worse. Constantly the trailer smells of weed, stale beer and my fucked up step-dad's own waste. Today Mom just started cleaning in one of her highs. I'm not sure if it's weed or meth today? She started, I think five in the morning, well that's when all the banging and cussing started, and now being close to midday she hasn't stopped.

My room was small, but thankfully no longer needing to share with Elliot. Do you know how hard it is sharing with a whore like him. Hand to dick constantly since the age of thirteen, and he was so never shivering under that damn blanket I can fucking tell. Elliot now sixteen and I swear he's fucked all the chicks at school, seniors included. There's even a tally board to prove it on the back of his bedroom door, color coded and all. I'm unsure what red, yellow and green mean but there are plenty. It's embarrassing and beyond disgusting. Why he's spreading himself so thin? Has he even heard of STDs or HIV? Hey I'm still a virgin so I've got nothing to worry about. I'm just plain excited when I hit second base. I actually made it to third once, but I hate pushing it. It just doesn't seem right I'm fourteen for fuck sakes, I've got a life time to worry about it.

Ok back to my issue, to put it bluntly I'm fucking bored. I'm actually contemplating cleaning with Mom. No-one was fucking here. Ell was off with one of his dates to get sexed up for the weekend, Eth was road tripping to see his little sister for the first time in over a year and Luke was hiding. I don't even know what the fuck his problem is anymore. First he was getting all weird around my step-dad but now he just spaces out and fucks off? I think I could smell the booze on him once, but I wasn't sure, I think I'm immune to Stephen's stench. I don't know but this is really not fucking normal for a kid to do?

Palm to palm I lent my chin on the tip of my fingers.

"Hey dude up there if you can hear me please, please, please send me a sign so I don't die of boredom. Since it's a negative with my rock gods with any sort of inspiration please big guy help." I moaned to myself.

I hated it here. Like beyond hate, like detestie. Fuck I mean detest. See what boredom does to me. I lose the ability to use my brain.

Missouri sucks balls. This trailer park has sucked the life from me. Maybe it's the wearisome shit from my Mom and fucked up step-dad. I'm fifteen next week and over the last few months I've been fighting back. I had enough of being beaten regularly to a pulp. Elliot was my constant, always looking out for me. Protecting me from that vile douche Stephen Cooper. _Call me Coops. Umm How about fuck no asshole._ Early last year when I was thirteen he tried to touch me. I haven't told anyone, but he knows now not to touch me. Never to touch me. I broke, ha ha _Coops_ arm.

I genuinely think Mom is oblivious to what is going on. But most days she's high or working double shifts and hasn't a clue. I'm actually glad that we're here because the three weeks we spent in foster-care as little kids broke our spirits. It's worse than having parents that fuck you over.

I tried my best to pray again. You know making some kind of effort with kneeling this time.

"Hey dude, yeah you big G should I just make out with Leila Williams down at the trail? Can you please help me out. I'm sooo fucking bored."

If my red acoustic wasn't right in front of me, it would have bitten me on the ass, Mom bought it for me for my thirteenth birthday. It had only been used a handful of times in the past month. Maybe I should start practicing, like more than five minutes. I do like it, I just hate all the songs other than _Irons Stone Steele_ stuff, now they are real songs. I want to write my own so I've asked my music teacher Mr Davis for a little more help.

Before my mind was made, my gaze caught the attention of something outside. For some reason I felt like I was knocked around like the old days. There on the pristine grass that Mom makes us keep, sat a pile of scrappy clothes, well it was more like faded pink rags. Well that's what I thought at first glance. I was intrigued, the closer I moved to my window the realization hit me. It was a little girl maybe close to three but no way four.

She was so tiny and fragile.

Her hair was dark. Not quite black, you could say a dark chocolate but it was hard to spot due to the birds nest of fuzz around her little round face. It was an outright mess. I doubt it's been brushed in days, or even weeks. She had the cutest little bangs cut almost too high. Her clothes were old and tattered. It gives me chills thinking of when Elliot and I were younger. She must have liked pink because she had a faded pink dress with a few holes and some bleach stains at the front and wore pink leggings underneath with scuffed ends and a few tears on the fronts of the legs. She must be hot just sitting there in the full sun. It's June and I'm sweltering, but there is no way in hell I'm taking my jeans or black _Irons Stone Steele_ t-shirt off.

The little girl had her face covered in dirt with deep burning tear tracks running down each cheek. She had a saddening look of loss and full of fear embedded across her face. This all dissipated as she admired her cradling arms. The connection she had, the love for her doll was well beyond her years. Just like her, the small doll mirrored her brunette, bangs, pink dress and an utterly filthy exterior. I was captivated as she rocked her doll. She whispered in her ear like they were the words of the love of a mother to make a baby help drift it to asleep. Damn I was getting dozy watching it.

But my heart broke into a million pieces watching her.

I made my way to the kitchen. Mom didn't noticed me as she kept cleaning. I opened the refrigerator and pulled out some cold watermelon and two cans of soda. As I stepped outside I was thankful the little girl hadn't moved. Still rocking her filthy doll.

My presence startled her causing the little girl's head to lift and her birds nest followed. Her big blue eyes snapped up at me. Deep blue… they looked familiar, but I didn't know her so I shook off the feeling. Her eyes locked onto mine and I could tell she was nervous as she whispered into the ear of her doll that she continued to rock. As I slowly moved closer I could see she was pale under her dirty appearance.

"Hi baby girl." I greeted her with a smile.

Instantly I cringed at my choice of words. I hadn't dealt with many little kids before. I can only think of Eth's little sister Kate, but being over a year and at that it's only been a handful of times I've seen her. So my approach was an instant fail.

 _Fuck_

She flinched and those big blue eyes pulled her doll closer to her chest. " _Hi_ " she whispered with her voice almost inaudible and continued to cradle her doll.

The watermelon was warming and the juice dribbled down my arm, so with a quick bite and lick on my arm I was good to go. It was perfect for this 85 degree day. I know I shouldn't be bitching but to me it felt like 110.

"Ahh it's kinda hot out here. Want something cold to nibble on?" My voice broke as I spoke to the little girl and her doppelgänger doll.

Immediately her eyes moved from mine and onto the cool watermelon I had just bitten into. She licked her lips, but hesitated. I thought that was incredibly smart for a kid only three or four.

" _I_ … no fanks." She shook her head to her soft words.

Moving at a slow steady pace, I parked my boney ass next to hers. "Here… It's really good. I have an extra soda too. Sprite or Dr Pepper?" I cringed at the Dr Pepper. I hate Dr Pepper. Please take the Dr Pepper little girl, take the poison.

She giggled and took the Dr Pepper. And we have a winner here! Then what happened next shocked me. Her little hand wrapped over mine holding the watermelon. Her eyes rolled as she licked the top of the pinky flesh from left to right. If I didn't know better that was kind of sexual. This is not fucking right. What has she experienced in her short life?

That's when I noticed the bruises. They were big, or maybe because they surrounded her eyes. The bruises were varying in colors starting with dark blue on the outside and ending with a yellow-green closest to her long dark lashes. It looked like it still hurt even though it had to be at least a week old.

I could tell how old the bruise was easily enough. I had spent years with those same bruises all over my body. My step-dad wasn't happy unless he was beating or trying to fuck me.

"Hey, my name is Christian," I told the girl feeling sick as thoughts of her being hit like I once had filled my mind. "What's yours?"

"Ana-stee-sha. I like peoples to call me Annie." She smiled with a dribble of watermelon juice running down her chin.

"Aww, that's a really pretty name. So Anastasia like the _Princess_?" I smiled, trying to let her see that I was harmless. I would never hurt anyone the way I had been hurt especially this baby girl.

"NO!" She shouted shaking her head.

"I'm not a _Princess_ …. I'm Annie." She sniffed, rocking her doll again.

Shit well that wasn't good. Mental note don't mention or call her princess.

"Sorry _Annie_. So… how old are you?"

She held up her now vacant hand minus her thumb, which originally held her doll. " _Four_ " she said before biting into more watermelon.

"Hey I'm fourteen, well I'm going to be fifteen really soon." I bit into another piece of watermelon.

"You're old. Weally old." She giggled biting into the watermelon again.

"Hey, that's not nice. I'm not old just… older. So when did you move in?" I hadn't seen anyone in the neighboring trailer before? I could hear movement inside the beat up place, so I assumed her mom and dad were in there.

"To-day." She licked the juice off her face with her little tongue. "We used to live in Wash-in-tonne, now we are in Miss-oo-ray but Momma said we had to move far away because my Daddy came looking for me… _again_."

That worried me. Her father came looking for her. Was he trying to take her away?

"He was looking for you?"

"I don't know?" she shrugged, "Vats what Momma said. He gave me this…" She picked up her filthy doll. "…when I was a baby. It's special but Momma doesn't like it. She throws her in the trash." She knelt up to my ear and whispered " _But I keep finding her._ " She held it her doll close, starting to cradle her again.

In two minutes flat she had finished her watermelon and was onto her Dr Pepper.

…..

I couldn't sleep.

Most of the night I was tossing and turning due to Leila giving me this half boner. A few days ago she showed me her boobs… ok it was mostly a little more than cleavage, no nipple but it was hot. Suddenly a little filthy face popped into my head and I was flaccid in two seconds flat. _Annie._

The thought that she was only tens of feet away in that trailer with that slut. That fucked up monster. I hated Annie's mother a first sight. It was a number of things. The way she smelled like smoke, a freshly rolled joint mostly and a multitude of spirits. I noticed the whiskey and tequila but I'm sure there were more. There was something more sinister due to the glassiness of her eyes and the stagger in her step, I'm praying that it aint meth like my Mom. She was utterly wasted and I watched it all unfold as she took everything out on a four year old girl, her fucking daughter.

"Shit-head get home. Now clean your fuck-ing room… you little cunt. _Princess_ I'm fucking talking to you… you better fucking do it before I…" She didn't need to finish the threat because Annie was trembling. She quickly ran into the old trailer flinging the door behind her.

She left her doll behind in the mad rush. Right away I knew I had to clean her. I wanted something to make her happy. This doll and hopefully me with my arms wrapped around her. I wanted to protect her, feed her and take care of her, but it was obvious I couldn't. I'm fourteen, I'm sure as hell not telling my Mom or anyone else what I suspected I knew that was going on behind closed doors. I had been taken away once before and I knew what it's like. Foster parents could be just as bad as real parents.

I shuddered and pulled up the duvet up over my stomach. My eyes closed and I started to drift off…

 **TAP TAP TAP**

My eyes flicked towards my window. Earlier I had told Annie if she needed me, day or night, to tap. Three times. I had even shown her how to do it. I'd told her it was our secret. For some reason I think she had been told to keep many secrets in her short life.

I ripped the duvet off and jumped towards my window. Pulling back the old curtain I could smell pine. Oh my God Mom has cleaned my room again! I peeked through the glass to see Annie, all I noticed were ten little digits hooked on my sill. Quietly, I tried to slide the window open and it was locked. Unlatching it, I quickly opened it to find her standing on the plastic chair I had set up for her. In a swift movement I reached out and helped her inside.

The moonlight lit my room. I saw that she was bleeding. Cuts were on her face and I noticed a few more on her stick thin arms. Tears poured down my _Baby Girl_ _'s_ face, and I felt my eyes burn with some of my own.

"What happened Annie?" I choked on the lump in my throat.

"I wanted a…a…a drink but Momma had one of her old boys over…" she broke off with a shrug not making eye contact.

I stopped with the questions and rushed to the bathroom. I grabbed a box of band-aids and the cream that Mom always put on my scratches when I was little. It was old but that's all we had, so I hope it wasn't going to make things worse. As I cleaned her cuts, I realized they were from a thin blade like a razor and some were small round burns. My hatred towards this woman grew by the minute and I hope one day she would rot in the ground, preferably in hell.

" _Owie_." Annie weeped, quickly covering both hands over her mouth tight as I dabbed the cream on her injures.

" _Shhh_ , sorry Baby Girl but it needs to be done." I whispered, my fingers stroked her cheeks gently trying to soothe her pain. Her wetness dripped on my hand, and I tried to keep it together just a little while longer. "Annie these could get infected, some are a little deep, so we need them protected. Now _Baby Girl_ you don't want to go to the doctor or the hospital?"

She bit her little lip which was busted in the corner. She was quiet for the next few minutes while I finished. Every time she flinched or whimpered from the sting, I felt tears burn my eyes a little more and I had to keep blinking before I embarrassed myself by breaking down in front of a four year old.

 _This is so fucked up!_

Annie she was so brave. Extremely strong. Well beyond her four years of life on this planet.

Using almost all the band-aids, I put her in my bed and tucked the duvet around her. "You can sleep here tonight, but you have to go home before my Mom wakes up." She nodded and looked so small in my bed. "If she finds you here she will call the cops Annie."

I explained to her what happened to me when cops where called and how my older brother and I had to live in foster care. It was scary and even worse. So she zipped her lips and snuggled into my blankets. For one last surprise I pulled out her doll. Now clean, brushed braided hair and a makeshift dress I made from an old t-shirt and pink marker. Her smile was infectious and she whispered into her ear secrets I wasn't privy to.

"Fank you Cwistin." She appreciated my small gesture with a powerful Annie smile which warmed my bedroom.

I grabbed my favorite pillow and an old quilt from under my bed. I made camp on the floor and prayed. My hands went back into position and I laid on my back ready to speak to the big guy up there.

"Yeah so thank you for listening and giving me a sign. I'll watch over her. She needs someone. I'm here and I will protect her… _Forever._ " I wiped my eyes can't believe what this little girl has done to me.

…..

I must have fallen asleep as I woke up it was morning, my curtains were flapping in the breeze. She was gone. Rushing to the window to see if she was waiting outside, there was nothing but dewy grass. My eyes drew to the run down trailer and I could see her looking out of her window, as if waiting for me. Now with the clean doll clenched in her arms with a huge smile over her face.

* * *

 **AN: _I'm fully aware of the ff glitch not informing readers when people have updated (emails etc). Not to worry I'm updating every 3-4 days no matter what, so please check! (I have quite a few chapters up my sleeve another 12-13 about 95% edited and BETA-ed. As I write I'm adding things here and there, hence why I'm not updating daily.)_  
**

 **I appreciate all the followers! All the favourites! And especially all the Reviews! I'm loving them all. Quite a few people are worried about Annie (from Ch01) and have some interesting theories behind her illness. So far only two people know exactly what's wrong with Annie - Stargazer93 and Halo140. A few have made mention in the reviews but I'm not pointing it out yet (and no it's not a STD/STI). Keep the theories coming, it's motivating me to write faster... if I write faster, I can finish the story quicker and you'll get more updates per week. :-D**

Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns. See you in a few days for Chapter 3.

 **missmusicteach**


	4. Ch 03: Fall to Pieces

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER** **THREE** **:** **FALL TO PIECES**

 _ **Annie**_

"Can he ease up for one night?"

Aggravated, my dry lips parted drilling the cool air through my mouth. My molars begin to grind just thinking about the horrid human on the other side of the country.

My ass was vibrating something chronic. At least it wasn't drumming paradiddles, that have been embedded in my head for the last few hours. Closing my eyes before they explode, I took a much needed breath to get through this call. Removing my phone from it's simple office, the screen was flashing none other than _Burning Embers_ manager. Jackson Hyde.

" _Wilks._ " I answered with a bitter, irritated, and a little bitchiness to my tone. There was no way better to address the asshole.

"So what are you wearing _princess?_ " His teasing voice purred into the phone. The word princess stopped me in my tracks.

"Fuck off right there. I have stipulated to you numerous occasions not to call me _princess_ , pretty, Baby Girl or Annie. Now stop with the sexual harassment, honestly it's getting old. Have I made myself clear?" The line was quiet which was a change. "Hopefully extremely clear. You do remember my legal team headed by Carrick Trevelyan?"

"Oh very… clear…"

Nothing could be more precise to this desperate money hungry bastard, but he constantly pushes the boundaries. Which makes it difficult for me to do my job and too much paperwork for my lawyers. It never changes but my skin shivers hearing princess and that guttural groan at the back of his throat. The thought of what he's actually doing on the other end makes my stomach roil.

"Oh it's crystal… like those baby blues."

"Jackson HYDE! Stop it! Fucking address me either as A or Wilks."

"Woah bitch, hold the phone I was playing nice and you blow it out of proportion. It's only a game."

"God damn… out of proportion. Right! What the fuck do you _need_?" I grit my teeth, hoping the conversation ends quickly.

"Photo-shoot tomorrow night at the Lincoln Center with an amateur orchestra. I need the band in black and white, suits are good but preferably tails. I'm sure you can work around it. They are wrapped around your little… _finger_." He swallowed. "Also two new promotions. This time will be at local high schools for thirty minute stints. You know the game, smile to the camera, bitch about their shit life as teenagers and now how awesome they are because… well… of me." Jack rambled along.

"Is that all?" Not wanting to waste my voice on the fucker.

"Oh if only… but I better not. I wouldn't want Mr Trevelyan sending me a formal notice again. If I can think of anything else I'll call. You better be waiting because I am." And it was over.

 _Thank God._

I made all the necessary reminders on my phone for tomorrow and waited for the confirmation emails from Hyde.

My to do list was growing. I need to focus. My head is a spin and I almost lose my balance, luckily I grabbed the stage frame. So many fucking demands, most were highly unnecessary for the profile of the band now. Maybe early on in their careers but they have made it and have done so for several years now.

Continuing to read through the list of emails, there are new demands from the label. New songs which need to be on the album or performed regularly on tour, negotiations are still happening to determine the particulars. Woah, woah, who the fuck is the songwriter R.L.S. They must be too obnoxious to use their full name so an acronym is sufficient. What the hell? I thought _Burning Embers_ had free reign with their own works. How can I do my job if I'm out of the fucking loop. Oh and an another tour in October! WHAT! When are we going to have a break? Oh look at this, more interviews… in varying formats. Snapchat! They are having an interview on snapchat. Dear lord help us! Fuck this shit, I need to do my job and not Jack's right this second.

Instantly all of Hyde's and the labels demands I shut out and slipped my phone back into it's office.

Security were making their presence bringing out the menagerie. The heard of eighteen backstage pass fans. They were all taped off in a corner. Honestly they looked like dopey sheep in a petting zoo pen. It was predictable like every other show night. Almost half were blonde and five of came from varying shades of peroxide bleach. A handful of brunettes, surprisingly only two were ebony. When I first started touring it was the dominant color these days blonde wins hands down no matter where we are in the world, including Asia. Staring at the remainders, two varying redheads and remarkably two men. The guys were easy to pick, one a true Burning Embers rocker fan and the other a fan of the guys _members,_ if you know what I mean.

Each and every pass holder deep down wanted to get in a Burning Embers bed. Okay maybe not the old school rocker, but then again these days you never know. I hated each and everyone of them. Trying to stay professional I would simply give them a scowl and flare my nostrils at them. Oh and they hated me too, because everyone who was a true fan of the band knew that I was the only female that would ever matter to Burning Embers.

I was particular and precise with the set up backstage for the fans to stay in their pen with the hawks onto them. You need to be careful since they can snap. I've seen women in seven inch heels make a run for dressing rooms for a quick fuck. Something I would never wish on any star, some fucked up groupie wanting to kill one of my guys. It's possible, I'm just trying to make it improbable.

Being a little more casual tonight I had my converse sneakers on. I was tired like always, struggling to lift my feet and the scuff of my shoes squeaked down the cinder block hall way. I was relieved to find each member of Burning Embers in their _own_ dressing rooms. No female or the odd male surprise, they were very much alone.

It was a disappointment rather than amazement to find Luke in his dressing room with a hip sized bottle of Jim Beam. Luke worries me, because instead of a shake or even soda, he was drinking his signature bottle of Jim Beam. I quickly removed it from his grip and replaced with an icy bottle of H2O in his shaking hands. Gripping his shoulders like I do before every concert for close to five years. I say the same words. _This shit needs to get sorted before you kill yourself_. As always he would grab the bottle from my pocket and swig the remaining contents down his gullet. With an added grin from the drunken guitar player always releasing a foul smelling odor to his surround. These days his stench doesn't help my weak stomach.

Elliot on the other hand, I had some recruiting to fulfill.

"Ell, which will it be tonight?" I pulled out my phone ready to make notes. "Blonde, brunette, redhead, ebony… male there are two?" I asked with a raised brow with a taste of disgust in my mouth.

Elliot hesitated when I mentioned the opposite sex. "Woah… I never swing that way Baby Girl. I'm never ever having a dick close to me." He murmured.

I shrugged in return. It couldn't hurt to ask. I've heard the drummer CT from Lithium Springs requested seven women to wear a mascot suits before entering their bedrooms back in the day, so nothing shocks me these days.

"But, I'll take one of each, minus the dudes okay. Mental note _no dudes ever Annie_."

He continued to pump his biceps by completing 25 push ups and a few burpies. Apparently it psychs him up for the show. Still I was a little startled by his choice. FOUR. Four at once! Oh well, hopefully he doesn't get a UTI or worse a STI.

"Um eew Ell." Of the four guys Elliot was the man whore, one of each flavor for him was a little different than his usual natural blondes. "Well there are plenty to choose from. Some of the brunettes looked a little interesting."

"Just what I like!" Christian called out from Elliot's doorway blowing a kiss in my direction. I caught it, eating it up immediately and of course it made me blush. Those words did make me feel a little jealous, mostly they hurt because brunettes never mean me. Even though these days my hair is a complete mess with terrible regrowth and desperately needing a bright color touch up.

All the guys began to huddle in Elliot's dressing room, minutes before the final mic checks. I needed my final run down for them, because they all went their separate ways at the end of a show.

"Now please be safe." This was mostly directed towards Elliot. "Are you prepared?"

"Just like a boy scout." Elliot gave the international salute.

" _Annie!_ " I couldn't believe that I made the big muscly Ethan blush.

"I think we are all good, we've got condoms." Two of the four muttered looking at the floor. While Elliot was beyond proud showing off his four 12 pack strips of magnums in his guitar case. Unusual Christian was silent with his hands tucked into his back pockets. I've seen this silence before when he had a girlfriend he secretly kept from me, but I think this is different. Please God tell me he hasn't found someone to _settle down_ with or that slut again. Deep down I hope he's going to be safe. I need him safe.

"Now don't forget guys you have two interviews in the morning at the hotel and then three radio segments, well basically shitty little promos in the early afternoon. Don't play too hard tonight after the show because I need you all in one piece tomorrow. Sober! Now I've arranged for us to have the conference room at the back of the hotel, security will be there just in case any leftovers from tonight want to make an encore for Burning Embers 8:30 in the morning. All your requests have been made. Seating, food and drink." I glared at Luke. "Sorry Lukie, booze free." He held up his hands in defeat. "And please Luke don't make me shower you in the morning to get the smell of orgy and liquor off early."

"Fuck me!" He yelped, directing the sound at me. "What is this? Pick on fucking Luke day on the calendar, especially when he's down! Shit Baby Girl!" He growled crossing his arms.

I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned to glare at him. "Just fucking do it Luke. Sober and clean that's all I ask."

He couldn't help but shit stir under his breath. I did feel a little bad about ganging on Luke. The bitch was out to play tonight but he needs to understand he's a grown ass man. More often that not I was bathing him like a toddler because of this ridiculous addiction. Most mornings after he's commonly too drunk or completely hungover to function with the simplest tasks. For one vomiting in a toilet.

Just before they made their way to the stage, I handed them each a bottle of Gatorade (and removed another baby booze size of Jim Beam from Luke). They needed to hydrate because a concert always took it out of them. Christian especially as he would be running around the stage playing guitar and pouring out his soul via his husky tenor voice. Christian's fingers lingered a little more longer than normal, we both finger fumbled and the awkwardness was out of character, well more than normal.

Behind the curtains off stage I was mesmerized looking at each performer of Burning Embers. I was taking in the sheer male virility on stage. The testosterone was oozing. They were all dreamy in their own right with strong facial features and bodies varying in both muscle and body art. Elliot had hints of copper in his light brunette locks. His eyes drew you in, being deep dark blue. Ethan's blond curls lingered over his face and green eyes that changed with his emotions. He was a big guy. Huge muscles bulging from every direction and making some in the industry wonder how is he able to tame a drum set so smoothly because of his restricting bulky mass. Luke the only one to style their hair by spiking his ebony mane for his stage persona. His crystal blue eyes gave chills down my spine as they were hiding a deep secret that I didn't even know. None of us did.

But just for a second longer I let my eyes remain on Christian. His voice fucks a woman from the inside out and those haunting grey eyes hidden behind a curtain of thick dusky eyelashes. _Oh fuck_ , I would be lying if Christian Grey didn't affect my libido even marginally when I heard him sing.

Everyone lusted for someone in Burning Embers in my case it was the multi-talented songwriter, guitarist and lead vocalist in one.

…..

I know I don't have OCD. I'm far from it. I'm the least personally organized female on the planet. But when it comes to _Burning Embers_ , I'm their constant and are completely aware and part of their routine. This is in a form of a playlist that has been performed strictly for over forty concerts in the last few weeks. Hearing song five played at eight and two at eleven is making me claw my eyes out.

"What the fuck is going on? These songs are all out of order? Have they completely lost their minds?" Mumbling to myself backstage.

"New song." One of the crew whispered in passing holding several acoustic instruments.

New song? Why the fuck wasn't I told about this?

The pumped audience died down to a whisper as Burning Embers acoustic guitars made an overdue appearance on stage.

It's highly unusual for the band to use these. On the tour-bus or hotel rooms of course yes, stage was a big fat never. What is going on?

"Ok for anyone following me on twitter here is the new one. This is special. From the heart about a girl. Oh shit man it's always about a fucking girl." He turned to the band and they all laughed getting some inside joke. "It's from my dear friend R.L.S. Thank you man. I miss the old ISS days." Christian kissed his fist and pumped it into the air as the crowd screamed to his action.

R.L.S.? I.S.S? What the fuck was going on?

Then the music started. An intricate guitar riff, simple straight 4 beat on the drums and strict bass line chugged along.

" _Fall to pieces_." Christian told the crowd as he held the cordless microphone to his lips.

Then the voice from the rock gods came from Christian's mouth. A classic rock ballad, written by the mysterious R.L.S.

 **.**

 _ **It's been a long**_ _ **time** **s** **ince you've been gone**_

 _ **I've been alone here I've grown old**_

 _ **I fall to pieces, I'm falling**_

 _ **Fell to pieces and I'm still falling**_

 _ **Every time I'm falling down**_

 _ **All alone I fall to pieces**_

 _ **.**_

 _ **I keep a journal of memories**_

 _ **I'm feeling lonely, I can't breathe**_

 _ **I fall to pieces, I'm falling**_

 _ **Fell to pieces and I'm still falling**_ _ **…**_

 _ **.**_

 **(*VELVET REVOLVER- Fall to Pieces)**

As the song was wrapping up I was interrupted by my phone again. Flashing on the screen was _Jac_ k-ass again.

 _Fucking great!_

"What now!" I snapped as the phone went to my ear. Not by choice rather than convince I had to remove myself from the stage so that I could hear him over the band.

Jackson Hyde chuckled, making me want to slap his Botox face, but he continued to laugh with no words.

"Just tell me what you need." Try to keep my firm voice over him.

"Why are you so shitty Wilks?"

"I'm just in a pissy mood. Most probably because I'm talking to you and I know I need to get up early to organize four guys for two back to back interviews at 8:30am!" I don't know why I'm being such a bitch tonight, well more than normal but he should be used to my attitude. "So what do you _need_?"

"Ahh the usual… check your emails. Thoughts on … well do you know?" I rolled my eyes. "Well Christian said he wanted to take this summer off. I'm just letting you know that I pushed the combined Lithium Springs tour back to September at the earliest, it's realistically more mid October. I'm waiting on final confirmation regarding venues and ticket preparation. Which I'm sure you can handle that." He purred making my head switch in disgust.

Why hadn't Christian mentioned anything about taking a break especially around summer? I flicked my head back looking to the ceiling, wishing I could demand some answers rather more questions from him. But I'll need to wait, he was still performing. Shit that means I could possibly have two maybe three months free. Free to do absolutely nothing. _Thank fuck for that!_

"Okay." I groaned to Jack. "Send me the details. I'll make sure that everything gets taken care of."

"I know you will, you always do. You make my job way too easy. That's why I love you Wilks." He said.

"Can you retract that." I gritted my teeth, hissing each word to him. How could he even say that to me the old creep.

"Uncle, Uncle. You fucking moody bitch. I pay you so do your fucking job." And like that he hung up.

I was doing my job, actually I was doing his job too. I'm glad he was paying me well or I'm sure everyone would be walking from the signed contract. There must be better managers here in the US, because Jackson Hyde is the epitome of shit.

Christian's voice out on stage removed me out of my hatred demon pit for Jack. Hearing his vocal cords vibrate gave my full attention to my guys.

 **.**

 _ **All the years I've tried**_

 _ **With more to go**_

 _ **Will the memories die**_

 _ **I'm waiting**_

 _ **Will I find you**_

 _ **Can I find you**_

 _ **We're falling down**_

 _ **I'm falling**_

 _ **Every time I**_ _ **'**_ _ **m falling down**_

 _ **All alone I fall to pieces**_

 _ **.**_

 **(*VELVET REVOLVER- Fall to Pieces)**

His voice was like cream and I was the _pussy_ licking it up. Pussy. Cat… _Cat_. Oh God! Shit he was making me weak at the knees. Christian's voice was a complex concoction of a husky tenor range added with a hint of hoarse gravel and a dash of sexual desire. "The seduction growl" some groupies called it. Simply, it made every single female in the crowd self combust. Me included. I couldn't help but sway and grind my hips in the air to the rock God performing about falling apart.

When one of the crew bumped into my back by accident I snapped out my sexual Grey Haze and told the guy to _fucking watch where you_ _'_ _re walking asshole_. I couldn't let anyone see how the voice and the complete package of Christian Grey affected me.

I knew that he didn't feel the same way. To him and the rest of my guys I was like their little sister. _Little Annie. Sis. Baby Girl._ They would lay down their lives for me, as I would for them. Just not horizontally on a bed.

Unfortunately when it came to Christian I was the little dirty girl that he has taken care of since he was almost fifteen. For one he wouldn't want someone fucked up like me, his happiness was more important than my own. It has always been like this and always will.

My lips trembled and a tear escaped. I made a quick get away to ensure I don't listen to any more Burning Embers for the remainder of the night. I'm breaking. I'm falling down. Falling to pieces.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **FALL TO PIECES** **\- Velvet Revolver 2004. I changed a lyric which are underlined in the chapter. Please take five minutes of your time and listen to the acoustic version with Slash featuring Myles Kennedy. Found here - youtube dot com /watch?v=eivRkhXr2vM. I think I listened to this song for a whole day writing this story, it fits perfectly.  
**

 **I believe ff net has removed the glitch (fingers crossed) that all updates are being emailed out.**

 **So it's official I will be updating every Thursday and Sunday (my time AEST) for at least for the next 5-6 weeks.**

 **I have 13 chapters up my sleeve, and only another nine ( & epilogue) to write. ****I wish I could update daily but I'm tweaking things as I go so they are only 95% finished. :-) I post chapter teasers approx. 24 hours before I update on my fb page (see my ff profile for links) and the fb group - FSOG Fanfic Followers. Pinterest board and playlist is in the works so bare with me… it is coming, not sure when.**

 **Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns. See you in a few days for Chapter 4 (We will see CPOV how** _ **Burning Embers**_ **started and a little more A &C family background, tissues maybe needed)** **.**

 **missmusicteach**


	5. Ch 04: Deals Part I

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER** **FOUR** **:** **DEALS PART I**

 _ **Christian**_

"Fuck me! That was epic!" I roared to my band, Luke and my brother Elliot. Ethan was having a ball and still spinning his sticks and kicking the kick drum at an insane rate.

The concert was unbelievable. Sweat was running down my back and the t-shirts we had made a few months back was sticking to my damp skin. I always gave each performance a hundred and fifty percent no matter where we were playing. Lately we had been landing gigs at bars, moving away from high school concerts and small town festivals. The owners loved it when _Burning Embers_ arrived at their doors. The crowds always came especially with filled wallets for cover charges and booze. More often than not they would end up locking entry to stop overcrowding.

Elliot threw me a towel and I wiped the sweat off my damp face. I was utterly exhausted. We needed the cash, since gigs don't pay well after all the expenses. Not only was this my night job, but I was working day shift at the local grocery store to help out since it was just Elliot and me now.

Close to three years ago everything came out. It was all by accident but I'm glad it happened. Then everything fell apart. If it wasn't for this band and Ana I would be losing my mind.

Innocently Elliot said he came home from work and found Ana sitting on our couch. He said he was puzzled to why she was here especially during the day. If it was any other trailer it would have been harmless but us brothers made it clear not to be in the house during the day especially when Stephen was the only one around. I thought it was weird all these years Elliot had the same stance on Stephen, even though nothing was said between us.

When I came in the door after gardening for a couple on the other side of the trailer park, I was wrecked even with Luke's help it still took close to three hours. All I was thinking I need an ice cold drink and a shower. Straight away I could hear the water running as the pipes howled when the hot water was turned to full.

"I just fucking—" I stopped suddenly when I saw Elliot's body swatting towards the couch. Walking closer I noticed her. "Umm Ana. Why aren't you at school?" I asked quietly, knowing my step-father was in the shower and had the ears of a bat, supersonic.

"Apparently he likes little girls too. He touched her Chris?" Elliot whispered,. The blood had drained from his face and I could see he was trying his best to stay calm.

"It was just here…" She lifted her dirty dress a size too small and ran her finger around the edge of her panty line. I felt the life leave my body. "Ell, Cwistin he told me I needed to keep it a secret. Is Momma is going to find out? Oh no, I'm in so much trouble." Her whole body was shaking.

"I'm calling the cops." I grabbed the phone, automatically dialing 9-1-1.

"Cops what the fuck— oh shit sorry Annie." Luke lowered his voice quickly once he knew Annie was in the room. "What's going on?"

"Can everyone shut up and be quiet. We don't want to spook Stephen before the cops come." Elliot whispered.

"I need police assistance urgently. My step-dad sexually touched my nine year old neighbor…" I continued to speak with the emergency services with details and the trailer park address. "Guys they're about seven minutes away."

Some how Stephen never left the shower within that seven minute period. It was clear why we never had gas left for hot water, he would have thirty minute showers. _Fucker._ When the cops put the cuffs on Stephen reading his rights, Mom came in the door from a double shift.

"What's going on officer?" Mom cautiously asked the cop.

She looked at Stephen was on his knees were on the floor of the living room. The way her voice curled it made me think that she was hiding something in the house.

"Mom we need to talk." Elliot and I said in unison.

Some how when Elliot was explaining the turn of events I interrupted him "He tried to do this to me. When I was thirteen." And I wanted to kick him but I refrained since Annie was within eye shot.

"What?" Elliot almost choked on his tongue. "He promised never to touch you." Elliot turned to Stephen. "You fucking promised. You prick! I told you… you could do what you want to me but never Christian." He leaped towards Stephen and started punching his face. Luke was quiet. Looking at his face he was pale and never said a word.

It happened so quickly all eyes were on Stephan. Since all three officers were focused on Elliot they never thought or even worried about Mom. She unhitched the officers weapon belt and removed his gun. Pointing it towards Stephen, she looked to Luke, I thought she was going to cry. Watching Luke's expression was a mirror image. Turning her face to my step-father her true feelings came to the surface. _YOU ASSHOLE_ she screamed to him and pulled the trigger three times point blank at his head.

Mom looked the most sane at that very moment as each bang echoed in the trailer. She held the gun tight as Stephen drown in his own fluids. "I'm sorry boys." She held a stare at the three of us. "Annie… I'm so sorry. Be a good girl for my boys." The flash happened in an instant. It was surreal as she turned the gun on herself and blood splattered over front room wall.

All I remember Elliot running to catch Mom. The front door slammed as I now know Luke ran to vomit and I fell to my knees. It was only with the help of Ana that I pulled the pieces of my fucked up life together.

A strong hand landed on my shoulder and it made me flinch thinking of my parents death. Eth slapped me on the back and I could hear the squelch of sweat under my shirt and I grunted due to his force. Damn he's bulking up. I need to get some of those muscles for all the chicks!

"Fucking awesome set, bro. You need to keep writing those unbelievable songs so our crowds will get even bigger! But mostly for the chicks, it's fucking amazing!" He winked.

Nodding at his appreciation as I downed a water. My throat was a little sore and my fingers were rubbed to the tip of all the guitar playing.

"Brilliant. Just brilliant I can see many dollar signs in our the future!"

The voice was of a heavy smoker, scratchy and hoarse. It wasn't familiar. I raised my head to find a slightly overweight guy, wearing an ill fitting suit unable to close the front of the jacket. First impressions. He's a dick, but he looked like he had money and that's what us guys need to get out of Missouri.

I had some idea who he was, and heard through the live band circles that a rock manager was looking sign new talent hopefully finding his next million. Jackson Hyde had signed the hottest rock bands radio has heard in the last ten years, like Dirty Thrill, Compulsion, Rough Justice, Lithium Springs and apparently _Burning Embers_ was next on his list.

…..

A beer each and a bunch of tight handshakes later that night we had a deal and a shitload of money. The life of dreams. Rock Stardom! Now I wouldn't need to bust my ass just living from day to day in a fucked up trailer park.

This also meant goodbye Missouri. The thing which was hitting the four of us like a tonne of bricks we will need to leave Ana behind. With all the cash coming in we could easily take care of her, send money and things. The things her mother never seem to buy, but we couldn't exactly take care of her from California. And that was exactly where we were heading in twelve days.

Each of us didn't want to think about what was going to happen, we wanted to enjoy the current moment of our success.

By doing so we got wasted.

…..

I don't know how we made it home in one piece, but we did. Elliot was off banging some random chick, Luke ran off again and Ethan was passed out on my sofa. I couldn't help but squeeze his large biceps.

"Are these real man? _Sooo firm_ … so do you have a broken dick or something?" My hand went to his crotch chuckling to myself.

Ethan tried to slap me away but missed after four attempts. A loud bang caught my attention from the trailer next door. _Annie._

Shit, I need my Baby Girl. My Ana.

My plan was simple. So I thought.

Knock on her window, crawl into her bedroom and tell her everything. About the band. How we signed. How we are leaving. The most important part how I never want to be apart from her. It was fucking insane. She was eleven and a good few months off twelve and I thought she was the most important female on the planet. I'm twenty-two for fuck sakes and some how this is all happening boner free. Maybe I need another drink so I don't chicken out.

I always forget my thoughts are very different to reality while intoxicated.

I squirted a few doses of mens body spray over myself, almost making Ethan choke on the thick scent. My next thought some how I was outside and unaware how I got there. I tripped over my feet and landed on the soft grass that separated our trailers.

"God fucking damn it… _shhh_ " I cursed myself.

I need to be quiet. _Shhh!_

 **TIP TAP TIP TAP TIPPPPY TAP TAP**

My index finger tapped the pattern to of _Bitch_ and ode to Annie's mother on her window. When she didn't answer, I slapped the glass with my open palm.

" _Shh Anastasia! I need to talk to you Baby Girl. Shh_." I whispered with intense energy.

I could see my reflection in her window and my hair looked like shit, so quickly I turned on the faucet and poured the water over my hair. My hands slicked it back.

 _Ahh better,_ I thought to myself. Shit my breath stinks so I popped a few breath mints I found in my jeans pocket and tried my best not to smell of booze.

Next thing her curtains pulled open. She was in her My Little Pony pajamas that I had bought last month and I was glad to see she still had her braids in.

"Y'all need to be quiet Christian or Momma will wake."

"I… I … just needed to see you Ana. I'm going to miss you. I don't want to go."

" _Shhh_ … quiet." Ana held up her index finger to quieten me.

Suddenly the sound of someone stumbling came beyond Ana's door. It was Carla. Telling her to jump she instantly grabbed her pink flip flops and we ran. We ran so far holding hands I was almost losing my breath. I had consumed way too much booze and it was catching up with my body.

When we finally stopped we found out favorite spot. The hill at the top of the train line. Being well after three in the morning freight trains were making their mark. The light was flickering over her face, and she was beautiful. She was eleven but she was fucking beautiful, a woman in the making.

I couldn't believe it when Ethan told me two months ago she had her first period. I could stand the sight of blood but Elliot and Luke were no help. For me I had no idea my mom had a hysterectomy after having me. Two babies in just over twelve months broke her insides, so I was at a loss. Ethan on the other hand was a pro, he totally is a hobby gynecologist and I don't mean it in any sexual way at all. He's the chick whisperer with this girly shit. The fucked up thing about it all Annie's mother refused to help her let alone tell her what was happening. She was told _just deal with it_. She didn't know what to do? In comes Dr Gyno Eth with grip 'em  & rip 'ems, gravy sifters, lots of chocolate and all the big brother love in the world.

She's still my Baby Girl, but she's now a young woman. I can't believe it she'll be twelve later this year, and we are going to miss it.

"Ana." She turned her head and smiled. "I never want to lose you." With those six words she gripped my hand tighter and turned to watch the freight train carriages roll by.

…..

We all stood on the familiar grass. I couldn't even look at her. It hurt too much.

I never imagined it would end like this. We had been busy designating Annie's financial stability all week. The difficult part was ensuring it was out of reach from her fucked up mother. Getting a phone was easy and another as back up. We had a few families in the trailer park on look out for Annie, they were paid accordingly for their input. We need to make sure she was eating, clothes on her back and getting to school.

Elliot and Luke had already said their goodbyes. Each had hugged her hard and long. Elliot had even lifted her up swinging her around few times once they both told her that they loved her they walked to the cab. Now Ethan had her in his arms, rocked her as she sobbed into his chest. Ethan was having a hard time controlling his own tears as was Annie. One look at her face and he had been helpless as she wrapped herself around his heart.

"I'll call every fucking night."

"Eth, don't say that shit around her okay." I gritted through my teeth.

Ethan only rolled his eyes. I know she's subjected to worse, but I just want to keep it normal one more time.

Ethan promised to her over and over again. "I'll call and if I can't call any of the others will call."

"Christian?" She questioned and turned her head to look at me.

"Yes even Christian will call Baby Girl. If you need me I'll be on the first plane back to Missouri."

Ana nodded and her chocolate curls waved in the breeze, but she was unable to speak through her sobs.

He held on for a few more minutes. Finally he eased his grip and she didn't want to let go. With a tortured look, he kissed her forehead and turned away. It was like he was saying goodbye to his sister all over again.

Ana stood there, shoulders trembling as she watched Ethan walk away. Ana had grown up a lot in the almost seven years we had first met her. She might only be eleven now, but after living the life she had, seeing things that no human being should ever have to see - let alone a child.

I didn't have the strength like the other three. I knew as soon as I hugged her I wasn't going to be able to get in the cab and on that damn plane. Instead, I blew her a kiss, which she gobbled it up. I whispered, "Bye Baby Girl. Love you Ana." Before following Ethan to the cab.

"You're all leaving me." She sobbed and fell on her knees.

She was fracturing my already torn heart.

I knew then not hugging her goodbye had been a huge mistake and I'll regret it for the rest of my life. I knew she thought that we… _I_ was abandoning her, but there was nothing I could do about it. In that moment I was worried more about my sanity than her hurt feelings.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **I thank my NaNoWriMo Camp girls helping me with parts of this chapter (which seems like a few weeks ago now), especially Thirsty Traveller with the _"_** _ **grip 'em & rip 'ems, gravy sifters**_ ** _."_ Also a special mention to Halo144 and Stargazer93 keeping me on track as always.**

 **It's official I will be updating every Thursday and Sunday (my time, AEST) for at least for the next 5 weeks.** **I post teasers 24 hours before I update on my fb page (see my profile for links) and the fb group - FSOG Fanfic Followers.**

 **Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns. See you in a few days for Chapter 5 Part II.**

 **missmusicteach**


	6. Ch 05: Deals Part II

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER** **FIVE** **:** **DEALS PART II**

 _ **Christian**_

Once in California we signed our deal with Wicked Motion Records. Numerous Albums, multiple tours and money. Each and every night as promised when we had dinner the guys and I would call Ana. She talked and talked… and I couldn't believe it she would talk some more. Only when I would get on the phone I only received one word answers mostly.

"So how's school?"

"Good."

"Was your mom causing trouble?"

"Nar."

"Do you need anything?"

"No—" Her voice would always hitch and I could hear the sadness in her voice.

Each night it felt like she was stabbing me. When I found out that she was calling the others during the day, it was another stab this time directly in my heart. The few times I had tried to call her in the middle of the day I only got voice mail.

" _Fuck this shit_." I threw my phone to the wall.

By the time our first tour started I was stressed out, empty due to her isolation. I thought she was important to me? So I started drinking. No where the levels of Luke, but I was catching. I felt angry all the time, lost and lonely more often than not. This was the life I had always wanted. The rocker life… escaping that fucked up trailer park…Missouri. I had cash to flash, chicks dropping at their knees, fame and best of all people were listening to my music.

So why was I feeling like shit?

…..

"Good Fuck-ing Night…. Kansas City!" My throat was hoarse and over used from the three month tour straight, I don't know how he does it. Jonty Dean of _Compulsion_ stepped off the stage with a bunch of flowers and even a bigger bunch of ladies panties.

With a tour coming towards the end, we were both headliners and with each new city, we switched who would close a show. Since Kansas City was close to our hometown, we were ending act tonight. Of course that didn't stop Jonty and me from betting who could get the best reaction from the crowd, or in his words _the women folk_.

I had to give it to the guy, he could rock hard. But I knew I was better. _I'_ _m always better._ I chuckled to myself.

"Top that fucker," He slapped my back as I was drinking a bottle of Gatorade.

"Asshole." I yelled back as I wiped the drink from my chin. "Oh I plan on it topping from the bottom. Just sit back and enjoy my glory." I grabbed my cock, just continuing the never ending pissing contest.

Jonty dropped his flora and ladies underwear at his feet. "Yeah, I figured much." Laughing he grabbed a handful of panties and began to sniff them. "So Chris. There are a few hot babes in the front row. Maybe you'll see something you like." He winked.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, whatevs." But I doubt it. Over the last three or so years since we left Missouri for the bright lights of California, I had grown tired of all the girls throwing tits and pussies at me. I hated to admit to anyone, myself included, I was tired of this life.

Maybe it had something to do with the absence of Ana in my life. My Baby Girl had been a huge part of my world and now she wasn't even speaking to me these days. I had hated the one word conversations during those early days when we first moved to California. Now I actually wished that I could get that much out of her. I had to rely on Elliot, Luke and mostly Ethan to fill me in on her day to day life back in Missouri.

I was hoping when we were planning to visit her the next morning I could get her to forgive me. That she would see things from my eyes and understand why I hadn't given her a proper goodbye all those years ago.

Halfway through our set I had the crowd chanting our name. _Burning Embers, Burning Embers, Burning Embers._ I was sniggering off stage to Jonty, and he was giving the slow clap of congratulations. I was in my fucking element. The stage was littered with roses. Red roses to be specific, bras with phone numbers scrawled along their straps and endless panties. I had to admit that as tired as I was from all the other shit, I knew that I would never get bored of this. I loved the adrenaline rush pumping through my veins it was my drug, performing live… to a crowd that wanted it.

So when Ethan suddenly stopping drumming right in the middle of our last song _My Constant_ I almost stumbled on the lyrics.

Elliot was the next to stop with no bass line and the arrangement was thinning quickly. The guitar solo never came, and I turned around to find that both Luke and Elliot were running across the stage and heading straight for the crowd. Ethan was already in the masses, pushing his way through the now screaming fans.

"Get the fuck off me." Ethan bellowed and then he was on his knees.

Still on stage with the microphone in my hand that's when I saw her. She was holding onto Ethan's muscles.

The fans were going nuts, screaming for our quartet to continue. I tossed the microphone away and it squealed with feedback. Screw the fucking crowd and fans, all I wanted was to hold Ana and to ensure she was okay.

Jumping down from the stage, landing roughly causing my knees to slightly jar. I gritted through the pain and I pushed my way through a group of chicks basically with their tits out, begging me to sign their chests. Hands touched my face and their well manicured nails leaving scratches over my arms and back. They pulled on my shirt and pants, breaking the seams as I escaped.

Ethan turned his face to me, his eyes wild and I knew that something wasn't right. I took Ana from him, knowing that I was risking my life and limb by doing so but not giving a fuck for either. All I wanted was to hold my Baby Girl.

She stiffened in my embrace. Big blue eyes glared up at me, and I tried to tell her everything I could with my eyes as I tightened my hold on her. Our gazes locked for a moment in a battle of wills, one I prayed I would win.

My heart melted when she threw her little arms around my neck and sobbed _Christian_.

I carried her away from the craziness of the crowd. Elliot and Luke kept a path clear as Ethan made sure that any disgruntled fans didn't try to get to me and the precious bundle in my arms.

Backstage Jonty and Hyde were waiting on us. Hyde was spitting in such a rage, probably thinking all the dollars we lost for him. Jonty on the other hand looked concerned.

"What the fuck man, is she okay? Umm, shit. She doesn't look okay?"

I combed my fingers through Ana's tangled hair, trying my best not to gag at the way the strands smelled of booze, weed, and disturbingly my fingers would get stuck in a dried creamy residue something any guy would recognize.

 _Fuck!_

"Just find somewhere that we won't be bothered." I groaned to the guys.

"Ahh is she your sister or something?" Jonty asked as he led the way down the cinder block corridor, searching for random room we could take Ana.

"Something like that." Luke muttered to Jonty.

Finally by the fourth door we had a room that contained more than two plastic chairs. I pushed past Jonty and sat her down but she continued to cling to my neck. Her sobs were shaking us both and it broke my heart all over again. I pulled her back enough so the inspection could begin. Wounds, bruises and breaks.

Her face was unharmed, except for the tear tracks down her cheeks. Memories of when she was four flooded back, but I looked on. There were bruises around her neck, as if someone had tried to strangle her. She was holding her arm stiffly and I grasped it. She screamed in pain as my fingers skimmed over her swollen wrist.

"It has to be broken Ana," I said calmly trying not to agitate her further.

Eth cursed so much it made my ears bleed. Elliot left in a hurry to find ice while I continued to examine Ana. Other than the usual bruises, I couldn't see anything else physically wrong but who knows what mental damage has been caused.

"What happened Baby Girl? How did you even get here?" I asked quietly.

"I heard it from some girls from school that you were going to be here at the border. I wanted to come see my boys, but Momma was high when I asked her… she pushed me against the wall and started squeezing my neck." Her fingers brushed over her neck. "I… I … I … tried to push her off and that's when she grabbed my arm." Her chin trembled. "I hitchhiked—"

"YOU DID WHAT?" Ethan exploded, only to calm when she flinched at his bitter tone.

"Annie do you realize how dangerous that was?" Luke said.

With her chin still trembling, Ana nodded. "I'm so sorry…. _I'_ _m sorry_." She whispered.

"Here we go, Annie. This should make you feel better." Elliot had a bag of ice and a several varying pills of Tylenol, Aspirin and Advil in his hand.

"NO! I can't Momma said I can't." She shook her head with her lips shut.

"What?" I questioned her? Is there something wrong with her? We have given her Tylenol since she was a kid, she's not allergic to it so what gives?

"I need to talk to Eth?" She looked agitated and nervous.

"What the fuck man?" Luke questioned.

"Come on guys… just give us a second." Ethan tried to calm everyone down.

"I'm staying." Luke said and we all followed suit.

"So Annie tell us…" Elliot continued to hold the ice over her wrist.

"Momma said I can't have any medicines because I'm on the pill."

"WHAT THE FUCK!" I yelled out and walked to the wall trying to calm down.

"Annie, why are you on the pill? You're only fourteen. Did a doctor prescribe it to you?" I was thinking the same as Ethan. Maybe there was something medically wrong and it was a necessity for keeping her regular. Fuck I had no idea when it came to this, I hope Dr Gyno did.

"No Momma said I need to take it for protection, just in case." She shrugged.

"JUST IN CASE." I yelled again for a second time.

What the fuck is wrong with her mother. Is she going to start pimping her out. At fourteen. Or had it already started?

"Baby Girl…" I held her shoulders and tried to calm my voice. She was shaking in my hold. "Ana… Has anyone… have you—" Ethan interrupted me.

"Baby girl, are you still a virgin?" He bluntly stated.

Her eyes bugged out and nodded. We all gave the biggest sigh and was relieved with her answer.

Elliot handed some pain relief to her that it was fine to take. Ethan was very confidant about this.

"We're taking you to the hospital Ana." I combed my fingers through her tangled hair, trying my best to keep her calm with what was about to take hold.

"No, no, no please no." Her eyes widened in pure terror.

"I'm sorry Baby Girl, but if your wrist is broken it will need to be set." I glanced at Ethan for help when she started sobbing again.

Ethan crouched down beside me, taking Annie's good hand into his callous fingers. "You have to be brave now. No tears. A broken wrist is serious." Annie sucked in a few breaths, trying to stop the broken sobs. "I'll be right there holding your hand while the doctors fix you up. Okay?"

"You p-p-promise?"

"Pinky." And Ethan held up his little finger on his right hand.

…..

It was almost dawn before we got Ana home. I didn't want her to go but we all knew that she had to. Ethan held the now sleeping Ana in his arms with her left wrist in a pink cast. I knocked on the trailer door with my three band brothers standing at my back while we waited for the evil monster to surface.

It felt like an eternity before she opened the door, nearly stumbling in her intoxicated state. Ethan growled something under his breath. I gave the woman a once-over taking in her almost anorexic figure. Her face was so thin it looked like someone had pulled skin tight over a skeleton. I wasn't sure how old she was but she looked close to fifty. Her bleached blonde hair was dry and lifeless, showing thick black roots, with her eyes empty just as her soul.

"Well look at you boys. Y'all real men now." She tried to grab Elliot by the cock and he flinched back and her rolled joint fell from her lips. "Naw fuck," She looked at the joint and didn't even bother to pick it up. "So what brings the big shots back to this dainty trailer?" The imagine of her trying to twist her hair around her fingers made me slightly vomit in my mouth.

"We need to talk. Now!" I said, grinding my teeth.

I pushed my way past her into the disaster of a trailer. The smell was unbearable and Ana had to live in it day after day. There were countless empty bottles everywhere, overflowing ash trays, rotting food and needles abandoned throughout the living space.

Elliot, Luke and Ethan holding Ana followed me inside. Ethan took her to bed down the hall while we made a deal with the monster of a mother.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **BONUS! I'll be updating three times next week (Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday). ****I post teasers 24 hours before I update on my fb page (see my profile for links) and the fb group - FSOG Fanfic Followers.**

 **Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns. See you in a few days for Chapter 6, back to Annie's POV and in present time.**

 **missmusicteach**


	7. Ch 06: Shitty Morning

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER** **SIX** **:** **SHITTY MORNING**

 _ **Annie**_

The muscles surrounding my stomach and throat tried to ease for the umpteenth time this morning. Vomiting hasn't been high on my favorite thing to do but it's becoming a common occurrence. I'm not a fan, but I've cleaned up my share over the years. Carla's generally. In recent years it's been my guys. Luke's has become more frequent, but my own? In the last week it's getting out of hand.

This morning was horrible.

My eyes flicked open and I knew I wasn't going to make it as soon as I started to move. My insides only give a three second leeway. I make it to the edge of the bed and I crouch over in the semi-darkness, muscles contracting and the warm chunky liquid flew everywhere. The smell is worse than the sight of it.

The involuntary contractions eased and I could take a breath. I tried to hold in my gag reflex and bolted towards the bathroom, so I could finish. My bangs and loose tendrils were stuck on my sweaty face. The chunks sunk to the bottom of the bowl and the yellow fatty liquid hovered over the toilet water. The stench was unbearable. It made me gag again and I vomit for a third time until I'm left dry reaching. Tears from my eyes and mucus from my nose running down my face. The sweat was oozing from my pores. The sensation just didn't want to stop.

There I was again, praying to God with my head stuck down a toilet begging for God's mercy. _Please make it stop, please!_ But none comes. He never comes, just like when I was little. I just vomit again and again.

Once everything eased, I forced myself to stand and get ready for the day. Seeing that I'm running late and I still need to wake the guys I need to move fast. With unsteady legs and pounding headache it makes a difficult task.

Finally clean from help of a complementary shampoo bottle, a quick rinse and hair I was done. Slapping on the same worn jeans and Burning Embers t-shirt from yesterday, I make my way to the guys rooms.

…..

First stop Elliot's.

Well I wasn't surprised when I tapped the room key and the waft of heavy sex filled my nose. The combination of female arousal and male body odor makes my stomach roil and I begin to gag. I breath through my mouth and it helps. I pull off the Egyptian cotton to discover four naked women. I yank on his feet. "Get the fuck up Lelliot! You need to shower." I command, not being in the best mood and to deal with four sluts wasn't helping my shit morning already. "NOW!"

" _Annie?_ Annie…Oh Fuck Annie! Ok, Ok, I'm up!" And yes he was up, his little guy was I guess ready for another round. I push him into the bathroom and turn the shower faucet to cold. Ice cold. " _Fuuuuuuck!_ "

"Downstairs, ten minutes. No excuses." The orders were clear and I slam the bathroom door behind me. The four sluts blonde, brunette, redhead and ebony were waking and I shoot them the wrath of pissed, moody Anastasia Wilks. "Get your skanky shit out. You have less than two minutes before security are making their way to this very room, with the clear instructions to remove dressed or naked. I don't give a flying fuck."

They groan in an unrealistic upper pitch but leave the room promptly.

Next was Ethan.

He was snoring when I entered. The smell of sex was evident but he was solo in the bed. I don't even bother to wake him up slowly, there was no time. I just grab a bottle of sparkling water from the mini bar and pour it over his face.

" _Jesus Annie!_ " The air is sucked out of his lungs.

"As if. God doesn't care why would Jesus. Ten minutes downstairs." I snap and leave for the next room.

I'm surprised when I open Christian's door that he was sitting on his bed dressed. He had even combed back his hair. Like always the sight of him makes me melt and I can't focus. He looked gorgeous and it makes me lower my head. Peaking to make eye contact he gives a concerned sad look.

"Ana? Feeling ok Baby Girl?"

It hit me. Hard. Then all the rushing around caught up with me. My eyes started to blur and the room began to oddly spin. I couldn't help but wobbled on my feet.

"Shit, Ana." He rushed to me and tried to steady me.

Why is he doing this, with the little strength I had left I pushed his strong arms off me, I can't do this, he's too close… he smells too good. Good… delicious. _Oh God!_

"I'm fine ok… I haven't eaten and just a little—" I tried to get my bearings, "dizzy." I rubbed my brow looking at the carpet. Somehow I parked myself on the bed. Next thing I knew Christian was kneeling on the floor with a glass of Gatorade in my hand.

"See roles reversed… I can get things for you. Ana you're worrying me." His eyes looked glassy.

"I thought you said you could get your own hot drinks, not Gatorade… Anyways I'm fine. Oh and thanks for being up. I appreciate it." I muttered and sculled the glass of electrolytes. "Now onto Luke's room." I clapped my hands together, trying to psych myself up.

"I'll do it." Christian stopped me in my tracks holding my thighs down.

"Umm I don't think so, you have an interview. And _I'_ _m fine_." I glared into his eyes.

I stand up and walk out the door.

"Ana…" He calls out in the corridor.

I try my best to ignore him as I step into the elevator to go to Luke's room. Honestly I'm a moody bitch and can't deal with this today.

I open the door and Luke's room stinks immediately of what I hate. Vomit. My eyes skimmed the room and grateful it's skank free. There must of been a few since I've counted off sixteen used condoms.

I was concerned to find the room empty, but when I could hear the sound of someone hurling it made my own reflex overreact. Sprinting to the bathroom I dry reach in the sink. Yellow bile made it's way out, through four small sprays. The burn was horrible. Probably the combination of lemon Gatorade and a lack of food within my gut system.

A sweaty palm touched my back, causing me to flinch. " _Annie?_ " Luke's voice croaked out and I glance down at him, wiping off the perspiration from my face. "You okay?"

I give the fake smile that I have grown accustom to handing out ease these days. "I think we both have had shit wake up calls." I moaned rubbing my burning throat.

I turn to see Luke in all his glory. It's common and I've seen every inch of my guys. None of us are shy about our bodies. It's usually difficult in a small tour bus with five adults. No one bats an eyelid when we see each other naked… maybe my eyelashes flutter a little… Okay A LOT when I see Christian bare. But I would never let them know, especially Christian.

"Annie you never get sick?"

I wave my hands brushing it off. "Oh it's nothing to worry about. Shower, _please_." I held my hands in a praying fist. "Because you fucking stink." He winked "Oh and please brush your teeth, the guys, myself and most properly the journalist will appreciate it." I reminded him, like most mornings.

…..

Miraculously twelve minutes later Burning Embers are all seated next to one another in the large conference room. Everything is exactly as I arranged except for my constant nausea. The aromas of the sweet foods and pungent flowers start to make my stomach turn. All I could do was hide in a corner pretend that I'm checking emails on my phone. Rather I'm trying my best not to throw up.

We were all surprised when the first words "Thanks for taking the time to be with Rocker Backstage" were Australian. The overweight mostly bald journalist had jet black thinning hair at the back and sides with a graying goat-tee, completely covered in skull tattoos and facial piercings. Ethan couldn't but help and snicker every time he said the word _mate,_ oh and of course _coming_ but that was nothing to do with his foreign accent.

So Bazza as he called himself was listing away questions for Burning Embers. His research must have been minimal and questions were dull and repetitive, nothing new and I wonder how the guys keep it together being asked the same shit but different day. _How did you meet? Are you all related? Are you gay Ethan? What is the significance of the band name?_ It never ended. Extremely boring! I think I caught each of them yawning at least three times.

Once the interview was drawing to a close Bazza asked me from across the room, "So how do you like working for Burning Embers?"

"Umm excuse me?" I replied. Absolutely shocked by his question.

"Hey fucker… Annie isn't the hired help" Ethan clearly stated to the reported. "This interview is fucking over. _Mate!_ " The instruction was clear and precise and overweight Aussie Barry made a quick dash for the exit. Ethan can be a hot head at times, easy to anger and at times quick to punch but deep down he's the biggest teddy bear who gives the best cuddles.

I gave a quick glance of the conference room to ensure I was alone with my guys and I turn to face them "I wasn't going to say it. But I'm sorry for being such a bitch yesterday."

" _Ahem._ " Ethan coughed, making it kiss his erect middle finger, giving a _whatever_ wink.

"Ok, and this morning. _Fuck_." I groaned, I'm honestly trying to be remorseful. It's really out of the ordinary as I don't often act like a whiny bitch to my guys. I don't deny it I can be a cunt at times when I have to especially to Jackson, but never to the four of them. Never.

"Park your booty Annie." Luke pushed my shoulders down so I had no choice but to sit. Christian for the second time today kneeled on the floor this time held my hand and the other three surrounded me.

"We need to talk." Christian said.

They were scaring me and I couldn't help but bite my lower lip. Shit they are going to make me go to the doctor. No worse, the hospital. No they are going to yell at me… actually I would prefer if they yell. Yes please yell.

"Annie, we can all see that you are getting burnt out. It's okay. We all are. That's why we have decided to take the Summer off. No touring."

I let out a huge sigh, well that was a relief.

"Yeah I already knew." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Ana don't roll your eyes, it's rude. I should take you over my knee." Christian said, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes again at his reply.

"Dude… umm no." Elliot said shaking his head to his younger brother.

"Well…How did you find out?" Christian groaned looking at his brother.

"Jackson." I gritted my teeth.

"Fucking Jack." Christian spat. "Shit Ana, we all wanted to surprise you. We want to do something… we have been thinking of renting a house somewhere. But we want you to choose." Christian smiled and his smile makes my heart ache for things I know I can never have.

"Anywhere Annie, here in the States, Canada, South America. Hey if you really want to Australia." Elliot said. Then I thought of Barry and it was a no to Australia.

I couldn't believe it, they weren't ratting me out to go to the hospital rather trying to plan our perfect break. Out of no where my throat closed up and eyes started to water. So why was I suddenly crying like a baby? Oh my God I'm such a mess.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **Ok I didn't realize how short this chapter was, so bonus I'm updating a lot this week! :-)**

 **So here is the first of three updates this week. SUNDAY, TUESDAY & THURSDAY. (If I can write 2-3 chapters this week, next week I will update again ****3 times.** **So please keep me motivated.)**

 **I post teasers 24 hours before I update on my fb page (see my profile for links) and the fb group - FSOG Fanfic Followers.**

 **I have been receiving quite a few PMs regarding "When are we going to get the HEA?" It's coming… oh it's coming. It's going to be explosive.**

 **Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns. See you in a few days for "** **Chapter** **7- Hard Rockers, Hard Steele."**

 **missmusicteach**


	8. Ch 07: Hard Rockers, Hard Steele

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER** **SEVEN** **:** **Hard Rockers, Hard Steele**

 _ **Christian**_

After arranging things so that Annie's mother would have plenty of money to keep her occupied, hoping drugged out for mind for the most part to keep her away from Ana. Eventually Ana's home life became a little safer. We all called her several times a day, and I was drinking a lot less. So it felt like the old days but just through distance.

Our band, _Burning Embers_ was getting recognized. The fandom has gone crazy. Our second, third albums went double platinum. Last year we won a Grammy, a bunch of American Music Awards and endless public voting awards to even name. Something which shocked us was hearing our songs on movies and tv shows. My writing flow is on point and fans are going crazy for my songs. I didn't know I had such a passion for songwriting, but I need to give credit to my music teacher all those years ago not giving up on me.

Gregory Davis. He was a true rocker at heart, his college years he was in a band. Until he fell in love and he left the rocker scene. Completed his music teaching credentials and popped out a few kids and that band went on to do great things. _Irons Stone Steele_. He said it was lucky that he didn't stick to the rocker bug since "Davis Irons Stone Steele" doesn't have a catchy ring to it, he did like the acronym D.I.S.S. very heavy. But with fame comes tragedy. In 2002 while on tour, their bus driver under the influence skidded off the road flipped the bus. Instantly the driver was killed and two of the I.S.S. band members. Their music was amazing, straight from the heart and heavy… traditional heavy metal. To this day I thank Mr Davis for his contribution toward my music education and up bringing. I cherish the day Gregory gave me Ray's phone number. I see Ray as a friend now, almost a mentor within the industry. The only way I feel I can send my appreciated is each time Burning Embers is around Missouri I send through concert tickets to our shows to my favorite teacher in the world.

Two years flew by quickly. There hadn't been any downtime since our rocker life started back in 2007. We are all feeling it and in urgent need of a vacation. Currently we were halfway through our tour with _Dirty Thrill_. Of all the bands we had toured with over the last few years DT was the most entertaining.

We all became friends, but we kind of adopted Tyler Masters lead singer of DT into our brotherhood. If we were touring with him, he was on our bus more often than his own. Dirty Thrill were almost breaking at the seams and not even close like we were. Burning Embers, we had a steady flame. We weren't just band-mates, we were brothers. We had grown up together, seen each other at our lowest, and stuck together through the thickest of shit. Ethan, Elliot, Luke and Ana were all I had in my world. My family. Nothing else.

Tossing my phone up and catching it while lounging on the long red leather couch, I was waiting. We had close to four hours before Burning Embers were scheduled to take the stage. I was bored out of my fucking mind. All the other guys were occupied Elliot most probably banging a chick or it's plural, while Luke was chugging down another bottle. Honestly I had no idea where Ethan is but I'm sure causing trouble for the sound crew with Tyler.

When my phone rang I knew who it was. I knew that she was calling to tell me how her day was. I smiled before I hit the connect button on my iPhone. "Hey Baby Girl. How's my favorite lady?" I snickered almost snorting, finally some entertainment for this bored rocker.

Instead of jumping into bitch mode 101 about her day, there was a steady silence. Her breathing was labored and heavy. The tension was oozing over the phone. My stomach bottomed out as I tried to keep all the possibilities out of mind. Is she hurt? Broken? Bleeding?

" _Ana?_ " I croaked out.

"She's dead. Momma's dead. I think she OD or something?" Her voice was devoid of all emotions. It was like I was speaking to an automated Ana. "I called the cops, but they said it could take them a while to get, you know… to get the deceased."

Instantly I was moving and running through my checklist of what needs to happen. "Are you okay? Are you safe? _Ana are you safe_?"

"At Momma's— I mean _my_ trailer… but the cops said social services will on their way. But don't worry I think I'm ok. I'm seventeen. I'm an adult now. So it's ok right. _Right?_ " We had all looked into it. In Missouri seventeen is still not an adult in the eyes of the law. So she will become ward of the state. There is a notion she could emancipate but it's up to Annie. We only hope the papers we have work. Oh God I hope it works. "Like… now Momma's dead and my Dad… Well I have no idea? I don't think he's alive either. I tried to google him Raymond Leonard but there's nothing. I can't even remember what he looks like?"

Raymond Leonard? Why does that name seem familiar, but really these days all names seem familiar. I meet too many fucking people.

I started jogging, I need to head back to Missouri pronto. I don't think social services will take her but to be certain we need to be there. I'm sure if we don't get there soon we…I will never see her again. She would get lost in the fucking system and eaten alive in a foster home.

 _Fuck!_

"I'm coming for you Ana. We will be there by tonight." Even if I had to hire a private jet to get me there nothing was stopping me from getting to Missouri. " _Hide._ Do you hear me? Fucking HIDE. I… _we won_ _'_ _t let them take you!_ "

"Okay." She sounded so calm.

I didn't want to hang up and thankfully Ana did the honors.

…..

I found half the band with Tyler and the remaining guys from Dirty Thrill. They were passing a bottle of Jim Beam between them and laughing about something unintelligible.

"Shit yes man, and _Hard Steele_ totally gang banged _seventeen_ chicks in one night!" Tyler mumbled away to the guys.

"Fuck off. Your balls can't even make that much come, let alone shoot in a fucking night." Ethan cupped his hand and began to jack the air.

"Totally. True. Story." Tyler answered confidently nodding after each word spoken.

"And what… you were there? You fucking idiot." Luke flicked a random guitar pick at his face.

"Oh shit. This stuff is horrid Luke." Ethan laughed, with a slight choke in his throat and he guzzled down the liquor.

When Ethan saw me he frowned. "What's up with you? Drink bro?" He pointed the bottle in my direction.

" _Annie._ " That was all I had to say and he and Luke were on red alert. "We have to go… like NOW." I would explain the details to them, but we need to get to the airport asap. I looked at Tyler. "We're out of the tour. Don't know when we will be back."

"Yeah, sure man. Go deal with your… _family_?" He wasn't entirely sure and we nod in agreement. "Don't worry about fuck-face Hyde. I'll take care of him." He chuckled and continued to swig the bottle of Jim Beam.

Finding my brother was easy enough. Follow the scent of sex and female squeals. I had no time to waste, so walked in. A blonde was on her knees, head in his crotch and a redhead sitting the edge of the bench with Ell's fingers pumping in her. I guess they were having a good time.

"Annie needs us. Let's fucking go!"

Elliot pushed the girl on her knees away and stuffed his cock back into his jeans.

"Hang on bro, I'm coming."

"No you aren't" the blonde giggle.

"Shut up, you fucking whore." The redhead told her friend as she was pulling up her panties.

…..

It was a long four hours until we arrived at the border of Kansas and Missouri. It was night but not late just hitting eight by the time we pulled up at old trailer that belonged to Carla Wilks. There was a cop car parked on the gravel area, lights off and yellow police tape was flapping in the cool night breeze. The officer had parked himself on the front steps scuffing his shoes, where there was a woman holding an iPad and a briefcase in her hands. Did they know we were coming? And by the looks of it Ana did as she was told. _Good girl._

Ethan started to get out of the backseat of the hire car, but I grabbed his arm before he or the others could get out. "Keep it together man. Ok guys, play it cool, we need to do this right so we can take Annie with us. No fuck ups."

We all nodded together giving a light fist tap, chanting Annie's name. We're doing this for her and we only wish it could have happened sooner than this. As we made our way to the front step the officer removed his hat, sitting it in his lap and the woman pressed something to turn on her iPad.

Her face lit up due to the light from the screen. She was the social worker, her name badge was clear, Missouri Child Services - _Ms Catherine Fenton_. I was happy to see the social worker was young and very female. Maybe this will work in our favor.

The cop recognized us and stood. " _Boys_." The officer nodded his head in greeting "I figured you would be showing up sooner than later. You all were connected to the hip for years."

I offered the social worker my hand. "She's ours." It was simple enough answer, but a true one. Ana had belonged to us since she was four years old.

"This is Ms Fenton. By law she has to take Anastasia. She's only seventeen and as far as I know there are no living relatives. And I'm truly sorry boys you aren't her family by the law."

We were unsure how true that statement was _no living relatives_. For one we weren't sure about her father, but she mentioned so little of him we had no idea, but there was a possibility he was alive.

"What about her father?" I questioned Ms Fenton.

"There was no second parent listed on her birth certificate. So we're not sure."

 _Fuck._

I shook my head and pulled out the paper that I had been waiting almost three years to use. We paid over $250,000 dollars over that time, paying over a grand a week to shut Carla's God damn mouth. It was a hundred grand up front. We were happy to double, triple, fuck pay ten times the amount but it's what Carla set and we weren't going to argue. Not when she had given me what I wanted.

I unfolded the legal document, the original hand written and the formal typed document from a legal firm in Kansas City. The important words were LAST WILL and TESTAMENT OF CARLA RAE WILKS. I handed the document to Ms Fenton.

I memorized the important details just for this very moment.

 _LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OF_

 _CARLA RAE WILKS_

 _I, Ms Carla Rae Wilks, an adult residing at 14b (trailer park) Clarkson Ave, Hoverton, MISSOURI, being of sound mind, declare this to be my Last Will and Testament. I revoke all wills and codicils previously made by me._

The document continued with all the necessary legal requirements plus supporting documentation regarding guardianship.

 _My only daughter ANASTASIA ROSE WILKS, born on the 10th of September 1995. I appoint four guardians in the case of my death by illness, suicide or accident._

 _Ethan Owen Kavanagh born on the 1st of November 1985;_

 _Luke James Sawyer born on the 12th of July 1985;_

 _Christian Grey born on the 18th June 1985; and_

 _Elliot Grey born on the 30th April 1984._

 _These four guardians E Kavanagh, L Sawyer, C Grey and E Grey are solely responsible for my daughter until the age of 18, or 21 depending of state of residency._

It gave me a chill looking at Carla's, her lawyer and two witnesses signature at the bottom of the Will and Testament.

"This is her Will?"Ms Fenton questioned.

"Yes, she had copies. Her own, which should be somewhere in that trailer." I pointed to the darken trailer. "This was our own personal copy given by her lawyer. We carry the document around everywhere."

The officer was amazed that Carla did this since he knew how much she truly despised us.

"Call the firm if you need to, they will back up everything." Ethan panted, trying to stay calm.

The social worker frowned down at the paper then let out a frustrated sigh. "Well, we will have to speak to the firm to get the will officially read. No. I am not letting you have Anastasia."

"What the fuck? But she's ours!" I pleaded to the social worker.

"I'm sorry to disappoint Mr Grey but she's not a piece of property. The thing is Anastasia has run away. So it's impossible for you to so call _have her._ "

"Her name is Annie. Please call her Annie." Ethan announced and I quickly punched Ethan to shut up.

"Don't worry we know all Annie's hiding places. We'll find her. I'm sure she is just upset about her mother. So finding her wont be a problem ma'am… that is if you are letting us have her?"

My stomach actually twisted into a knot until Ms Fenton spoke again."But with these legal documents, I will sign her over as the four of you as her legal guardians. Complete custody. Mr Kavanagh, Mr Sawyer and both Mr E and C Grey, as soon as I have the will authenticated by the legal firm and a judge in the morning."

"Well hurry and make that call." Ethan handed the business card with the personal cell number for the lawyer who wrote the will.

There was no describing the relief I felt. Knowing that Annie was finally mine - okay ours, whatever. It was like having the pressure of the world lifted from my shoulders. Ms Fenton handed several stacks of papers. These needed to be completed and signed, we would have to come down to her office first thing next morning with Ana of course. I waited a little longer until the cop car's taillights had been out of sight for a good five minutes before we started called Ana's phone.

" _Chris?_ " She whispered.

"Are you hungry _Baby Girl_?" I suddenly felt as if I were starving. "How about burgers and a Dr Pepper?"

"I'm not hungry." She sounded tired but there was still no emotion in her voice. I couldn't begin to understand what Ana was feeling right now.

"Let's get out of here, Ana." I glanced at Luke, Elliot and Ethan. They were all looking at little anxious to get out of here too. "We're all tired and need a good night's sleep."

"Are they gone… the cops?"

"All gone Ana." I promised her.

"I can go with you? They aren't going to take me away?" There as a small hitch in her voice this time.

"Ana. Do you honestly think we would let them take you from us. No fucking way! You're ours now. I mean it. Forever!"

The phone disconnected and at first I thought maybe something had happened to her.

" _Annie?_ " I glanced around, hoping that she had hidden somewhere close by. "ANA!" I shouted her name when I didn't get an answer.

The others started calling for her too. Luke and Elliot headed off to some of her usual hiding spots. Ethan rubbed a hand over his blond curls, worry in his eyes. "Annie!" He turned in a full circle. "Where are you Annie? _Sis_?" I needed to find her soon or he was going to have a panic attack.

The sound of brick scraping caught my attention, and I had a sense of deja vu when I saw a pink well worn t-shirt and thin grey leggings crawling out from under my old trailer. Only this time Ana wasn't a beaten little rag doll, hiding from her fucked up mother. Rather she was waiting for us to keep her safe. Now she was ours and we were taking her home.

Ethan was like lightning. I still couldn't get over how fast and smooth that guy could move. Before Ana's head could come out from under the trailer he had her in his arms. "Stop, I stink. I have the worst body odor and I think I stepped in dog shit." She complained when Ethan held on to her for dear life.

"Don't give a fuck… closer Sis." Ethan laughed as he swung her around kissing her cheeks. "God Annie. I've missed you so much."

I grimaced. We hadn't see Ana in person in over eighteen months. Texting and phone calls throughout the day didn't show us how she was growing. And she sure as fuck had grown since the last time we had laid eyes on her. She was at least six inches taller, her chocolate curls hung halfway down her back. And even in the dim light of a distant streetlamp I could tell that Ana was no longer my pretty Baby Girl.

Seventeen year old Ana was to die for. She was a fucking babe.

…..

It was almost two weeks before everything was official with Ana.

We made sure her mother _may her soul forever rot in hell_ , had a proper funeral and burial for Ana's sake, nothing more. That was easy compared to having to fill out all the paper work for Ms Fenton and the courts. When we kept stumbling, Ana took over and did the paperwork herself, giving it back for each of us to sign our names at the bottom of the final page.

 _Mr Ethan James Kavanagh, Mr Luke Owen Sawyer, Mr Christian Grey and Mr Elliot Grey are the guardians and have full parental responsibility for Miss Anastasia Rose Wilks._

Of course there was her schooling to worry about, but we quickly found an answer for that. She could be home schooled via with online support while we were on tour. I bought her the best MacBook Pro and made the tech guys put all things she would possibly need on there.

Instead of packing up her clothes in that disgusting trailer, we took her shopping. She didn't want us to buy her anything, but she needed it. She fucking deserved it. The only thing she ended up taking with her from her room was a backpack full of memories. Photos of us, her doll Luke and Elliot gave her when she was six and a few letters.

By the last day before we needed to rejoin the tour in Texas I was convinced we were smothering her. She was constantly in our sight and was only given permission to leave to do little more than pee. All four of us have an irrational fear that someone was going to steal her away from us if we didn't have our eyes on her at all times. Ana, however didn't seem to mind it at all. For the first time since I had met her, she was smiling more often than not. There wasn't any fear in her deep blue eyes.

As soon as we rejoined the tour, Jackson Hyde, ripped into us. As soon as greedy eyes landed on the newest member to our family, he couldn't help himself.

"You are nothing but trouble. Do you know that _Princess_?"

Blue eyes burning with fire, Ana growled, "Don't call me Princess…fucker!"

"Nice. With a face like that you would think you're sweet like cherries." Jack threw his arms in the air. "I can already see this is going to be fun." He chuckled to himself.

"Back off Hyde." Ethan told him "Mess with my Annie and I'll fuck up your face and junk." He cracked his knuckles and neck.

Jackson Hyde walked away after that, muttering under his breath.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **Sorry this will be a long AN, you can skip to the last section if you only want to know the title to the next chapter.**

 **1\. I have no idea how Wills work in the US, or even here in Australia. So don't hate me if it's completely bamboozled and wrong (Take a breath, remember ff and I'm not getting paid. I did try to research but I got extremely confused over the whole process, so I made up my own. eek)**

 **2\. If you notice anything in the story that doesn't add up, just PM me and I'll fix it up promptly. For example character descriptions, or if I've muddled up places, times etc. I'm not going to scream at you and hate you, I actually encourage the feedback. It helps with my writing. Sometimes both my beta and I miss these things.**

 **3\. OK, now reviews/PMs who have suggested reasons behind Ana's illness. Don't second guess yourselves. Don't think too deep. Ana truly believes it's Cancer, but it's not. We see in a later chapter Ethan and Christian are thinking the same thing. Never fear, she will be going to the hospital, thanks to one of the guys from Lithium Springs.**

 **I post teasers 24 hours before I update on my fb page (see my profile for links) and the fb group - FSOG Fanfic Followers.**

 **Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns. See you on Thursday for "** **Chapter** **8 - Looking Out For You" (APOV)**

 **missmusicteach**


	9. Ch 08: Looking Out For You

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER** **EIGHT** **:** **LOOKING OUT FOR YOU**

 _ **Annie**_

Seven more days.

 _Thank God._

In seven days I'll have tranquil peace and time to catch up on sleep. For now I need to survive the remainder of the week.

To say I've been feeling any better is an understatement. Do you honestly know how difficult it is to disguise from four grown men that I vomit every morning? I thought it would be near impossible but with God on my side (for once) they have slept like babies during every morning session with the porcelain bowl. It's been close to a month I kept my routine from them. Without fail it doesn't matter how much sleep or intake of food it's always the same, somewhere between 3:30am and 6:00am I need to submit to the tour bus toilet.

The theory of forcing, purging myself to dry reaching gets me through six of the seven days per week, but Saturday I'm usually exhausted. Of course it's usually the most important day of the week, massive concerts, backstage passes and organizing everything. I've past the point of been scared. I'm petrified. It hasn't eased after watching multiple documentaries on stomach, bowel and brain cancer. It makes my stomach twist and turn, right now I have butterflies thinking about it. These butterflies never leave my stomach. I just want to punch it, then I think I'll probably rupture a huge tumor or something.

Trying to keep anything down or get most things in my mouth are proving difficult and it's causing me to lose weight at an exponential rate. By the time we hit the end of our vacation I'll be either dead or crumbling bones. 149. I was 149 three months ago, I thought I was actually starting to cake on the weight now I swear I can see more bones in my hands, feet. My collar bone and spine is the worse. I might be 125, max 130. The worse thing is I just can bring myself to eat.

They are all noticing.

The vomiting is easy to hide with running water, music playing and when I've finished cleaning the bathroom but the non eating and my bones aren't. They are watching me constantly and it's only a matter of time they gang up on me.

I'm more worried now about finding out the cause than an actual visit to the hospital. In true Annie Wilks theory I'm trying my best to put it off… as long as physically possible. Indefinite would be ideal, but I'm sure I'll be dead.

" _God please make sure I don_ _'_ _t die, I_ _'m scared ok._ " I whispered to the man above.

I just need to hold out seven more days. That's not long in the scheme of things. I really want this vacation and not a burial. Not sure how much my guys would appreciate that, me especially.

Now our vacay is a remote holiday house, well more like a cabin and woods surrounding us. Six bedrooms with connecting bathrooms, so we all can be close but still have our own individual space. A private pool, jetty small for water activities. Importantly no public, people or anyone for at least in a fifteen mile radius. But with this niggling feeling in the back of my head the nearest hospital is thirty minutes away. I'm trying to be positive to see the waters of Lake Tahoe and their surround, but my stomach trying to ruin my next three and a half months.

Seven days two concerts and one flight and we will be free! I haven't had a summer off. Ever, period. Just dreaming about it makes me sigh and most importantly relax.

"You need to see a doctor. The sooner the better. If you wait any longer you are going to fade away before my eyes."

My head flicked up so quickly my neck cracked and I winced as I held supported my head. How could Christian even say that? He knows my opinions of people within the medical profession near me. Both him and Elliot had been sitting with playing Xbox and me watching TV for most of the afternoon. I was feeling better after some time of relaxed fun in front of the screen. I don't want my thoughts ruined by an image of seeing a doctor, or stepping in side a hospital.

"No fucking way!" With my feet placed firmly on the floor I stood up crossing my arms.

I don't care if I look like a spoilt child. I'm adamant standing my ground. There is no way in hell I'm seeing a fucking doctor.

Christian was beside me, so of course he didn't give me have a chance to get to past the sleeping bunks or even better yet off this fucking bus. I shook my head, trying to tell him to stop, but he pushed it further by grabbing me. He turned me, so I ended up straddling his lap. I can't be like this now.

"Ana… Annie." He rubbed circles on my back. His touch was clouding my vision and he needed to stop. "Have you looked at yourself you're nothing but bones. We know you aren't eating." I turned to Elliot and he nod in agreement. Christian's lips were brushing my ear. "And I heard you this morning in the bathroom Ana." He whispered in my ear.

I pulled back. _Fuck._ He heard. _Oh God. Oh God. Oh God._ They are going to kidnap me and take me to the doctors. They are giving me that predator look…

Christian continued, "You sleep all the time. And shit these—"

"Well you keep having these bitchy mood swings. It's not you at all Annie. Something's really wrong." Elliot bluntly stated to me.

"What the fuck is this? A Grey family intervention or something. I don't want to go to the doctor. No medical professionals. Final!"

Okay, deep down maybe I did. I was scared shitless that there was something seriously wrong with me, like stomach cancer. I have never been this sick in my life. I've had the flu a few times and chicken pox, but these days I struggle to keep the smallest amounts of water down. But I can't deny it I'm still terrified of doctors.

"Annie." Elliot was making shapes in the palm of my hand. These Grey boys they are scaring me. "Annie, we will go with you. You don't need to be alone." He promised.

"We wont let them hurt you." Christian's eyes were glassy. He was petrified and it really wasn't making me any more confident.

I gave in and nod. The word _okay_ hardly escaped my lips. "I'll find a doctor at the lake house. Then all you guys are waiting on me hand and foot. No excuses. I expect cocktails!" I smiled, knowing I probably wont be able to keep it down, but all I needed to do was try and ease their worry. What! Why am I kidding myself? It will ease my worry too.

Watching the Grey brothers relax as one made me relax instantly.

"You know Baby Girl whatever it is, we'll be with you 100%." Shit Christian does think there is something seriously wrong with me. Is he thinking Cancer too. Shit, maybe I do have Cancer. Maybe I've put it off too long.

Oh my God. I'm going to die of Cancer. I'm only twenty-one. I don't have a mom and my Dad? Oh my God I need to find my Dad, maybe he's still alive!

"I want to find my father." I whispered and I didn't even realize I started sobbing. Suddenly four hands cupped around my body.

"You're father? I think I can count the number on my left hand… sorry one finger the amount of times you have mentioned him." Elliot wiggled his fingers and his middle stood tall and strong.

I understand why he feels like this. My mom told me many things about him but are they true? I was little, she was off her face the majority of the time. What happens if he's alive… or dead. What happens if I'm dying and I sobbed into my palms.

No one said another word as we drove for the remaining hours of the evening.

…..

The sound of a freight train woke me. I had a large muscular arm draped over me. It wasn't usual for me to share a bunk with one of my guys, for the life of me I can't remember how I got to bed. I peered down and noticed my clothes were still on. Burning Embers pink t-shirt and my ripped, very faded black now grey jeans. They are on their last legs. They have service me well over the year, four to be exact, but the waist band is starting to get tight, which worries me. And that C word creeps back into my head.

I turned and Ethan had his mouth open and his tonsils were vibrating. I'm astonished how well everyone else sleeps. How can they not hear this? I wiggled myself out of his grip and he didn't even move. His arms fell back on the mattress beside him and I slipped out of the bunk.

I needed to stretch and get the kinks out of my lower back and neck. That's when my abdomen hurt. It was tight and getting hard. C… C… Cancer.

I couldn't help but have a peek into each berth to check on my guys. I just love each of them with so much heart, and if I was sick… What would they do? Would that quit the band, or dump me in a treatment center on the other side of the world?

Shaking the stupid thought from my mind, there would be no way they would or ever could do that. We have this magnetic pull and can never be apart. We are five pieces which work as one. I'm sure I'll rise again. I just need to get over this bug. That's what it is just a simple bug, a virus of some sorts.

I pulled Ethan's sheet up and I truly wanted to suffocate that snore. Realizing the importance of him to breathe I refrained. I kissed his cheek thanking him for the sleep that I did have.

I looked down and saw Luke nursing his bottle of Jim Beam, unopened which is unusual. I whispered into his ear "Thank you Lukie for not bowing to your nightmares. Just don't give up, we are here. I'm here." I worry about Luke the most. He's trying to hide the horrors of his past which we are all too sure about, he just shuts down, runs off and drink himself silly. After all these years it's still affecting him. For it to stop he needs to be ready to tell us about these endless nightmares. The stench oozing from his pores begin to affect me and my stomach roils. Has he even washed his sheets this week?

I couldn't miss Elliot, in his naked glory, so I quickly covered his lower body. My lips kissed his brow. When I went to Christian's berth it was empty. There were three options: Bathroom, seating area or living area at the back of the bus.

As I made my way to the back, I could see him. Christian was asleep curled on the couch. His face was huddled into my pillow and my favorite pink blanket was attempting to cover his long body.

Why was he out here? He's normally in his bunk? Unless he was writing? It's usually too bright when dawn seeps through the morning. But there he was drooling all over my pillow and curled up in my very pink blanket.

I watched him. He was gorgeous. The most beautiful man I have ever laid eyes on. With a slight push on his pecks I tried to turn him over so there was a little room for my fragile body. He didn't protest or refused as he lifted my blanket. I snuggled close to his bare chest and pillowed my face on his chest. I inhaled his clear, completely unique Christian smell and I closed my eyes. This was as close to paradise as I would ever get. Fuck vacay. Christian Greys arms are my holiday.

I woke with sleepy eyes too large lips brushing around my face. The smell was desirable - Christian. His strong arms refused to let me go, pulling me closer and on top of his body.

"You have no idea how happy you have made this guy Ana." Christian mumbled into my bangs.

" _Christian?_ " I said sleepily, trying to rub my tired eyes.

He was asleep instantly and I wasn't far behind him, in the safe embrace of my favorite guy.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **Thanks to Stargazer93 for the title of the chapter (I always get stuck!).**

 **Sorry it's another short chapter, but I have decided next week I'll update 3 times again (SUNDAY, TUESDAY, THURSDAY). I only have five more chapters to write plus an epilogue, so I'm getting down to the nitty gritty of the story. :-)  
**

 **So what are the theories now regarding Annie's illness? I truly do believe a lot of you are second guessing yourselves on the matter.  
**

 **I post teasers 24 hours before I update on my fb page (see my profile for links) and the fb group - FSOG Fanfic Followers.**

 **Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns. See you on Thursday for "** **Chapter** **9 - Lips of An Angel" (CPOV). Christian meets the guys from LS, especially Javi.  
**

 **missmusicteach**


	10. Ch 09: Lips of An Angel

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER** **NINE** **:** **LIPS OF AN ANGEL**

 _ **Christian**_

Annie. Ana. Anastasia Wilks. She's beautiful.

The most fascinating thing about Ana is, she chose us. Of all the six billion people on the planet she opted for four idiotic teens which grew into Rockers that worshiped the very seventeen year old orphan. I look at her sometimes and wonder of all the faces I've seen, how did I select this very one. One that was so perfect… a little filthy girl all alone those years ago.

The weeks flew by after we all finally settled down. New purchases were made and an urgent clean up of the tour-bus was high on the agenda. We needed to clean and remove the smell of booze and dirty groupie sex. Starting a fresh for the four of us and now with Ana was important. The guys and I had already agreed that there would be no sex on the bus, and to even hold out on jacking. Only one struggled with this requirement. Elliot. To say he was fighting the urge was an understatement. The withdrawals were as bad as a moody chick PMSing every hour seven days a week. Have I mentioned previously my brother was a dog on heat in his former life… constantly.

It was crucial that Ana wasn't exposed to the bad which comes with rockers, touring and groupies. She had witnessed some serious fucked up shit from a young age possibly all her life. Our lifestyle wasn't going to be another for her to succumb to or accept as the norm. She never had a childhood. Skipped it entirely with her fucked up bitch of a mother. As kids we tried our best but we weren't with her all hours of the day. It was the nights we had to clean her up and be the ones to hold her and love her.

For two months we didn't allow Ana to meet any of the other bands that were touring with us especially Lithium Springs. Honestly we didn't know what to expect to have a teenager living with us on the bus. It wasn't a smooth ride to begin with but finally she has come to realize that we have her best interests at heart and not locking her away like Rapunzel. Sadly we needed to explain the story of Rapunzel to a seventeen year old.

It was a simple summer afternoon in 2013 and Javi Ramos decided to break our strict code of no entry on the Burning Embers tour bus. Like most other bands members we were touring with, they were intrigued and fascinated that we had a teenager locked up in our bus. Most importantly a female. In true fashion most of the guys would get sidetracked with sound-checks, rehearsals and thankfully groupies. But no, not the bass player of Lithium Springs he was determined to ensure Annie Wilks wasn't a mythical being like the Phoenix.

"So this is the little Annie." His eyes looked her up and down. "Jees guys you've been holding out, she's a total babe." Javi announced to the bus while Annie was standing right next to him. It didn't bother him at all. And of course his face was covered with one of his shitty grins that I knew got him laid on a daily basis.

My emotions were confused and jumbled. I felt like the over protective dad, worrisome big brother and jealous lover all in one. To say Javi was excited was obvious but alarm bells were ringing in my head giving me this constant migraine. I gritted my teeth as he hugged her close, like she was another one of his groupies.

 _Fucker!_

"Javi, she's seventeen so step away from the so called underage goods. You are not a lion preparing for the kill ok. No more touching… Also to make it clear no looking either." I spat.

"Someone is going to be a fucking hottie when she's legal." Javi laughed out. Does he really think that Ana would want to be around someone like him. Ultimately full dicky asshole material.

It was like Javi tried to tell me that she was beautiful for the first time. My hands fisted at my sides. Fuck, I know I have to wallow at her beauty every day knowing she's the most exquisite woman and she's off limits.

"Excuse me?" Annie fought back. "I'm no fucking object. Fuck off Javi. What is wrong with you all, I can look out for myself. I'm not four anymore. I'm seventeen." She had no idea how gorgeous she truly was and she was almost a danger to herself.

With a few weeks of solid sleep, nutritious meals and able to polish herself clean the transformation was remarkable. Her mane grew, new colors emerged for the first time, nutty chocolates and syrup like caramel candies. She had vanilla body products and the scent would consume our bus we never complained it was a reverie. Her delicate skin finally free from bruising and the scars were beginning to fade. The day she wore makeup for the first time a hint of mascara, a little winged liner and a touch of blush pink on her lips. She was turning into this mythical being. The perfect woman. The lips of an angel.

Thankfully Annie didn't knock Javi out… eventually she put him in the category as the rest of us: friend but never one of her guys. She was comfortable with him as she was with any of us. It was funny how she teased the bass player at times. I even found myself laughing at the jokes and taunts. On the opposite of the spectrum of course there were times I couldn't stand to be in same room with Javi and Ana. I felt a little demoted and inadequate as a virile male rocker.

That's when I realized she was going to be eighteen and I'm twenty-eight myself. I have no hope, I'm an old man to the emerging goddess. If I were to see a therapist I'm sure they would tell me to move on from this false sense of hope with the young woman.

Maybe it was time to move on, it's a bitter pill to say but _settle down_. For fuck sakes most people are married by my age and have a kid on the side. Me I've been pining over a girl who only wants me to love her as a friend.

…..

Touring has been a change of pace with Lithium Springs. Much slower, the crowds are more for LS which is nice being on the back burner for once. Unfortunately only Javi spends time with us. I would like to get to know the other's, Ryder and CT but they seem to be always _occupied_ as Javi puts it bluntly. Javi on the other hand is always a lost little puppy every time he steps foot on our bus. The words _Come On, Just Fuck Me_ practically are tattooed over his face every visit. If Elliot only swung that way we wouldn't have the problem with Javi getting close to Annie.

It was by chance that a copper haired woman would follow him every time on to the Burning Embers bus. Lizzie she preferred to be called and it was undeniable she had a thing for Javi. He was utterly oblivious to her advances when Annie was within his cocks proximity. The epiphany hit me hard watching this dazzling woman. I've been with plenty of chicks, fucking them has never been the least of my issues it was rather the relationship side of things I never wanted to take further, because of one girl. Ana. So maybe it was time?

That's when a night after arguing to Annie about Javi being close, actually incredibly close to her I ended up leaving the bus locked hand-in-hand with the delectable Miss Lizzie Thayer. The part I wasn't expecting was fifteen minutes later fucking her edgeways against Lithium Springs tour bus. It wasn't intended, and completely unplanned. I don't know how it happened? Some how we were talking about kittens, bunnies, fuck something fluffy and the next thing I knew my cock was slipping in and out of her luscious garden of bronze curls.

For once it was nice to talk to someone without the fucked up baggage. It was simple and helped she was closer to my age. Have I mention her smile was to die for. But why did it feel like I was cheating every single time I was with her?

Other than our fast entry in-and-out, Lizzie and I slowed to an enjoyable pace. The night turned into thirteen days as we were getting to know one another. I still didn't feel comfortable mentioning the majority of my past but she got the idea. It was fucked up and time to move on. On our fourteenth day it was official when Luke caught Lizzie pumping me at the back of the bus. I thought we would have had more time but shit happens.

"What the fuck man! Umm. You've broken the rule… shit I need to leave, like now." Luke mumbled as he hurried out of the bus.

"We… ahhh" I was confused and powerless to speak to my babe. I had no idea if she had noticed the untimely entry of Luke. She didn't ease up and my head tilted back on the couch as all thoughts of Luke slowly faded away "Oh God babe… this is good." My hips bucked but her hand counter and push them back into the seat. Lizzie continued to grip my base squeezing it by suffocating my cock of his blood supply. She didn't lessen my pleasure either, rather her pace increased. It was divine, heaven. The moment I decided to catch a glimpse she licked her moist lips and her eyes said it all she wanted to devour my cock. But with all these sensations I felt overwhelmed that Luke was running to tattletale specifically to Ana.

" _Babe_." I panted as she twisted and pulled my dick while stroking my balls with her long nails. She was good and much more talented that the endless list of women I had fucked prior. Her hand and mouth skills were on par for an A+ grade. "Babe… we need to _stop_." As the words left my lips hers were around my velvet cock. It's veins had been throbbing for the wet touch of her lips but it was the back of her throat that pleased me well.

All it took was a combined twist of my balls, rub of my perineum and vacuum seal down Lizzie's throat. Seven seconds. The best seven seconds of my life. Damn she's good. Fucking the best.

"Babe that was unbelievable." It was when I opened my eyes, I tried my best to hold in the laughter. I know women are sensitive creatures. I see it constantly with Ana so I didn't want to hurt her feelings since she had achieved the best blow job ever. But there she was, my girlfriend on her knees looking at me horrified with cum dribbling out of her nose.

"I'm so sorry. I'll go get you a towel." I tucked my flaccid cock in my jeans and found the small hand towel from the bathroom.

…..

It felt like a matter of minutes the whole band and Lithium Springs knew about our relationship. Everyone was supportive but I made it clear to the guys and Lizzie I don't want Ana to know. For one she doesn't deserve to find out this way. I need to tell her face to face with no one else.

It was easier said than done. A week past and I couldn't bring myself to tell her.

Shy off two months from her eighteenth birthday, none of us could deal with how gorgeous Ana was. I couldn't cope, all I knew was, I needed to tell her I was in a relationship with someone. Lizzie. But I couldn't. Every time I saw those deep blue eyes I was lost in them. The guys were coming out of the woodwork trying to get noticed by her, Ana the utterly gorgeous seventeen year old. All I could see were these grown men jacking to the angel face of Ana. Of course, she didn't submit to these men. She was totally immune to any attention, good or bad. That didn't mean I stopped stressing or thinking about her.

Have I mentioned that I'm twenty-eight and absolutely petrified telling a seventeen year old I'm in a committed relationship.

 _Fuck I need to tell her._

I was slowly going out of my mind. I was fighting my feelings over Ana. Instead they had only grown stronger with each passing week. The worst thing about it all I had Lizzie acting upon these feelings so I could have some kind of release. I was a sick fucker. I hated myself in almost every way because I was feeling things that I had no business too. Affection for the girl who was once my Baby Girl.

Lizzie and I officially started spending nights together, always away from Ana's eyes and ears so therefore out of mind. This was the turning point when the down fall began. Deep down I think Lizzie knew I was sharing my feelings with someone other than hers.

It came out one night that I told her I had strong feelings for someone, but someone I could never be with. She was actually satisfied with my answer and it surprised me for the most part and then began to worried me. It wasn't normal for your girlfriend do to that? _Right_?

The struggle was real, to be close to Ana, but the alternative was to give up the friendship. This was never going to happen, it would destroy me, my band mates and ultimately Burning Embers. So Lizzie curbed my needs to hide my sick wants.

It was clear my songwriting was being affected and that night I wrote -

 _Baby Girl, why are you talking so late?_

 _It's kinda hard to talk right now_

 _Baby Girl, why are you worried, is everything okay?_

 _I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud_

 _I think to myself my babe_ _'_ _s in the next room_

 _Baby girl I wish it were you_

 _I guess I never really moved on_

 _It's really good to hear your voice saying my name_

 _It sounds so sweet_

 _Coming from the lips of an angel_

 _Hearing those words - it makes me weak_

 _And I never wanna say goodbye_

 _But, girl, you make it hard to be faithful_

 _With the lips of an angel_

 ***HINDER- Lips of an Angel (excerpt and some lyrics changed)**

I just hope when she hits eighteen things will settle down.

…..

"Babe." I patted my lap encouraging her to sit. My smile was fake, showing a little to much teeth. Fuck I'll try and make anything work today.

I was far from hard. Flaccid was the reality. Lizzie and I were lacking, losing our connection. I'm a cuddlier and need touch, Lizzie she's more… well a horny bitch. The past week has been stressful with an extra three sell out shows, I swear she was on her period or something. We haven't slept together for the last five nights and it's been close to a week since we have had sex. I'm second guessing everything, as my head has been awash of many things such as an up coming birthday. Am I an asshole? Most would mind but if Lizzie knew, I'm sure it would be a yes.

These three months have been an eternity. If it wasn't for the sleeping, touching and sex shit we would have been over before it even started. I think our full time horn was on the cusp of blowing. I can't deny it. Lizzie is an attractive woman. Long waves of auburn copper locks, slender flawless skin, pristine fashion sense of dresses and skirts, makeup like a model. But were these the things I desired? Actually, no. I thought that's what I wanted but I was so wrong. I desire simple, not forced and natural of all things.

Lizzie rarely speaks about her previous relationships short or long, there's this voice in the back of my head sensing there were many. She's experienced and knows every trick of the trade to get her guy off. It's not normal? Two separate people in a relationship. I believed relationships should have a connection. You feel like one being, one soul, and one love. Then again what the fuck would I know, my parent's never loved. My step-dad was an abusing douche and I've never been in a relationship until this year. Twenty-eight. Fuck this is shit and so messed up.

The tipping point in any relationship would be when the smells change. I'm not talking about armpit odor or vomit, I'm enunciating when your partner smells like someone else. It's only subtle but no matter how much perfume and body spray she pours on herself, any man myself included can identify the smell of jizz and that aint mine. She's clean. I've inspected but I can smell something else and can't put my finger on it. It's been turning me off. So it's obvious she's been cheating, but in a way our whole relationship I have too.

One thing the sex has been great. Not mind shattering but the blow jobs are out of this world. Can a guy live on blow jobs? I don't think so, you know God created two hands for us for that very reason to get ourselves off and we do a pretty fine job at it, not a chicks mouth. So in the last three weeks I think every time it's become more to get the each other off. I could count on my right hand how many times we came together… during the whole relationship. Four times. Ah, Relationship. No, this wasn't a relationship, it was a convenience like a u-turn sign on a traffic banked street and I'm fucking speeding away. It was fun but maybe relationships aren't meant for me.

"Woah…" I moaned and there we were.

Back to our old ways, Lizzie on her knees unzipping my fly. She grabbed my limp dick and tried her best to make it hard. It was obvious she was frustrated because all her usual tricks weren't working. Still Lizzie was persistent and didn't give up. Her head was in my crotch trying and trying. I'm sure my face said it all. The strain, flicking it back. Maybe I should call it off? You know end it, before it goes any further.

"Relax baby." She panted breathing on my jelly dick. "It's going to be unbelievable." I could feel her smile on my wobbling limb.

I wouldn't be surprised if she was throbbing for sex right this instant. But that ship has sailed.

I tried. Which any guy in their sane mind would… you know a quickie BJ but there was nothing. My dick was flatline.

Instantly I was granite as my thoughts turned to my Baby Girl.

"Now don't tell the others what I did tonight they would have my balls!" The familiar voice of Ethan filled my ears.

 _SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!_

Lizzie didn't ease up, but my cock grew harder with the thought Ana maybe on her way. This is so fucked up! _God fucking punish me please! Make my dick fall off or something. Please man!_

"Psst, babe… _ohh God_." And the suction started. I swear my balls jumped into my stomach, it felt so good but sickly at the same time.

"Holly fucking shit! Chris—" Ethan in shock dropped his two shopping bags on the floor of the bus and his hands covered his eyes. All I could do was roll my head back and basked in the unwanted pleasure happening on my cock. "What the fuck are you doing… with your _girlfriend_?" There was definitely someone else with him but they turned around and left instantly.

"Babe stop… _STOP_ … I don't want to—" There she went using her tricks and I came in ten flat. My head flicked back in a conflicted sensation of bliss and guilt. "Eth… it's not what it —"

"Shut the fuck up man, here you say we can't have sex on the bus, and there's your girlfriend vacuuming your cock. What is this the second time you've been caught, how many times? What the fuck is wrong with you?" Ethan yelled and let it all go. Strangely he kept looking at the bus door. Something must be up because he was rubbing his brow.

"Lizzie, go… fucking go." I pushed her off me, and shove my very limp dick into my jeans. "I can't do this anymore…It's over it's done. And say hi to the guy you are actually fucking." She gasped but smirked.

Fucking slut! What a whore!

"Oh." And she scrambled on the Burning Embers bus.

Trying to break the awkward silence, no words came out. How do I tell my best-friend. _Oh yeah bro, totally fucked up there._ So I counted. The higher I got Ethan didn't budge and it was time to ease the tension on the bus.

"So what's in the bags?" Ethan stood there conflicted. Me on the other hand, I felt like shit.

"Stuff."

"Who were you talking to?"

"Um… Luke. Yeah it was Luke. He said he needed to see a chick or someone?"

"Typical." I laughed under my breath, it's always someone he's running to.

"Yeah… typical." and Ethan laughed, unmoving almost stiff. It was fucking odd.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **LIPS OF AN ANGEL** **\- Hinder 2005. I changed a few lyrics in the chapter. Please take five minutes of your time and listen to the song. Found here - youtube dot com /** **watch?v=Yii2rM2gvJU**

 **Ok - what are your thoughts on Javi and Lizzie?**

 **It's interesting to see the theories regarding Annie (last chapter), again most of you are second guessing yourselves.**

 **Don't forget three updates this week TUESDAY, THURSDAY and SUNDAY.** **I post teasers 24 hours before I update on my fb page (see my profile for links) and the fb group - FSOG Fanfic Followers.**

 **Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns. See you on Tuesday for "** **Chapter** **10 - Pinky Swear" (CPOV)**

 **missmusicteach**


	11. Ch 10: Pinky Swear

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER** **TEN** **:** **PINKY SWEAR**

 _ **Christian**_

Ana has been a little reserved around me over the last few days. Ethan made it clear that she was on her period. I swear she was the period ninja never showing physical signs only the signs for the noticeable chick whisperer to identify. Deep down I thought she had found out about Lizzie, but all the guys made it clear they had not said a word to her. Honestly it doesn't matter now. We're history.

Now off to see our birthday girl.

"Happy birthday, Annie!" Elliot exclaimed, pinching her cheeks.

" _Owie_." Annie giggled, rubbing her sore face.

"What is the one thing you want more than anything in the world?" Ethan asked watching her every move just like myself. Surprisingly she turned to me and quickly rubbed her eyes again.

It was 7:00am and we were all gathered around our no longer little girl but grown woman. Legal and eighteen Annie. The day had just began and we didn't have any other commitments until sometime tomorrow depending on sound checks for the performance. So for now we are all hers.

Ana was huddled on the couch wrapped in her fluffy pink blanket. Her hair was in every direction other than down, a complete birds nest, in no contrast to all those years ago when I met a very sad lonely four year old. Ana had on tight pajamas, horizontal striped with two shades of pink, all her skin was covering except three buttons had popped open and little rounds of her breasts were visible. Ana eventually stretched and resting her tired self on Ethan. Both Elliot and Luke began to rub her feet to start the day. I just stood back watching with jealously.

"Hey I didn't know you too had a foot fetish?" Ana giggled.

They both looked at each other with a smug grin "Nope." But they laughed in unison.

"Please stop it's a little… weird." And just as quickly as they started they pulled away.

But it was difficult and bittersweet hell for me having her so close, being next to Ethan, I could smell the scent of her shampoo and lotion… it was subtle but no less seductive to my senses. But she was giving off this _back the fuck off_ vibe. So I didn't touch.

"I have everything I want right here." She turned to me again, then formed a straight lip, and continued to curl her head more into Ethan's chest.

I tortured myself. Thinking what I would like to do her like running my fingers through the ends of her silky soft brunette hair or touching her lips. But she was giving me the international chick sign DO NOT TOUCH.

"Baby Girl. What do you want to do?" I whispered.

"Nope already planned Christian." Ethan jumped up running to his sleeping berth grabbing the two bags I remembered from the other night's interruption.

I made my way on the now vacant couch next to Ana.

"Our girl requested several things…" Ethan was fumbling through the two bags. "Nails, facials, booze, movies…" He held up several small bottles of polish, a few foil packet facial and DVDs. "And the rest we will need to get later… ice-cream, pizza and tattoos." She smiled at Ethan where I grimaced.

"Really booze… you're not twen—"

"Shut up… they are only baby bottles." Ethan shook them, and he was right he had about six, maybe seven of varying poisons. Vodka, Gin, Whiskey, Bourbon, Rum and Tequila. They would have to be 1.5 oz each if you're lucky.

"Ok… are they just for you?" I pointed to the bottles of booze then Ana.

"No, to share silly." She laughed. Okay so they are just tasters. _Good girl._

"I'll just grab my own K, Annie." Luke laughed alone. It most definitely wasn't a joke he drinks too much.

"And a tattoo. Really? You want a tattoo?" I questioned, had she thought it through?

"No… I mean yes, we all are getting tattoos."

"Please say we get to choose where they go?" Luke hurried his words.

"Yes… don't worry you wont see any blood."

"Well that's a fucking relief" Elliot fell on the floor in a heap, letting out a huge sigh.

Yep those two are hopeless when it comes to blood.

She lifted her arms yawned and gave a stretch and fell in my lap. I thought I was going to turn to granite, but I tried to think of things which would make the Pope go limp. Images of hauling cow manure, Elliot dancing in a tutu and channel 6 male new anchor who's in his 60s or Lizzie came to mind. Thank God I was safe for now.

She shrugged sitting up and her breast brush against my bicep. "I'm looking forward to what Ethan has in store." She yawned again. "But I just want it simple… you did get the movies?"

"Ah huh. 500 Days of Summer, The Graduate, The Perks of being a Wallflower and My Girl."

Ana clasped her hands together and I could tell she was excited.

"Really My Girl? Shit." I groaned, I remember the movie well… the others I'm not too familiar with.

"So let's get my official festivities started!" She smiled and jumped straight to the DVD player.

…..

I hate My Girl. I really do. I know I'm a rocker… a hardcore guy, but it makes me cry every fucking time. For starters it's a sad movie, not because little girl her surname is Sultenfuss or that her mother is dead. There are too many of us in the same boat but this doesn't make me cry. It's not that her dad is finding a new chick to love or because of this chick she feels her mom is being replaced… it's bees. Damn fucking bees.

"Umm are you crying Christian." Elliot chuckled.

I sniffed and rubbed my nose over my arm. Not my best move but I'm trying to cover my endless tears.

"He totally is." Luke sniggered. "Just like when we were eleven." He continued to laugh.

"Shut up guys, I'm trying to watch. Christian grow up, it's only a—" her breath hitched and I could see her tears falling "A movie… an old movie. A really sad movie." And like that she snuggled to Ethan again. Maybe I was crying because she should be snuggling to me. Nope I'm totally kidding myself, it's those fucking bees.

This is so deep… too deep for 9am on a Friday.

…..

"Nails boys!" Ana squealed holding up various little bottles of varnish.

"Totally bagsing the black." Elliot hollers and grabs the polish from Annie's fingers. "Oooh it's called licorices… _nice_." He began to shake the bottle, constantly rattle it like a fucking maraca. Here we go the eldest… twenty-nine going on toddler.

"Oooh it's purple" Ethan grabbed the small bottle and turned it over… "Nope Devil's Advocate… Fuck yeah. I'm totally going to be da boss." He praised the small bottle in the air.

"Nope. This is all mine. See-through for me." Luke tried to pull the polish from Ana's hand, but she resisted.

"Luke that's top coat… choose again." She giggled.

"Fuck. Ok this one…" He grabbed a deep blue. Luke turns it over and ultimately and looks like he's regretting his decision. "After School Boy Blazer… it's not even a cool name. It's kinda giving me the gay vibe, well…" We all laughed except Luke he had a frown on his face. "I need a stiff drink." And we all laughed again.

"I don't care." I shrugged I needed her to trust me again. She can do her worst.

Yeah so I retract my statement, I utter regret my _I don_ _'t care_. Ana decided to use five different colors… One for each finger… and with added glitter over the top. I swear that girl was grinning the whole time she was doing it. I guess it's her birthday so anything for my Baby Girl.

Ethan the chick whisperer painted Ana's a baby pink. It was very her.

"And where did you learn to paint the perfect nail?" Ana announced to the bus.

"Kate," Ethan smiled, proud as punch but it was evident he still misses his little sister.

The day grew into night and we had completed our nails, done a few black face masks and watched more movies. The food was amazing greasy pizzas with a mouth full of booze, honestly I don't think the ice-cream was necessary but Ana insisted.

"Ok guys, it's tattoo time!" Ana jumped and I have no idea how she has so much energy all us guys were done for the night.

We all hurried into a large taxi-cab and made our way to the tattoo parlor.

Once the design was brought to our attention, I wasn't surprised with the small tat. It was an outline pinky swear design.

"We are friends forever and no need for secrets. So pinky swear we tell each other everything. No need to hide." Ana announced to us all, holding up her right pinky

It was obvious it was going over my chest, straight to my heart. Ethan and Ana placed theirs on opposite wrists, Luke had it hidden within his back design of skulls and flames, Elliot on the other hand had it on his right ass cheek. It was small so each one only took close to ten minutes.

Our way back to the bus we stopped off to McDonalds to get a vanilla cone each and we suddenly broke into song for Ana:

 _Happy Birthday_

 _You_ _'_ _re sorta special_

 _You_ _'_ _re getting older_

 _but not much better_

 _We all want to embarrass you_

 _That_ _'_ _s why we_ _'_ _re singing this song_

 _So happy fucking birthday_

 _You_ _'_ _re sorta Special_

 _You_ _'_ _re sorta special_

 _OK maybe you are!_

 ***NOFX - New Happy Birthday Song (lyrics slightly altered for the story)**

And like that we all got the biggest punches in the gut and that's what I call is love.

"Happy Birthday Baby Girl!" We all yelled in unison in McDonalds.

…..

Saturday was in stark contrast to Friday. Ana just wanted to curl up on the couch watching DVDs but honestly I needed to practice and get a few things checked at the sound desk. She was shitty with me, but hey what's new?

After our performance was over I made my way back to the bus and all I wanted to do was try and snuggle up to Ana and eat the cold left over pizza.

It had been an awkward twenty-four hours and I wanted it done.

Yesterday Ana was being distant, shitty and a hint of bitchiness during her festivities. I know I'm male but if she was being subtle I didn't get it. All four of us were there and bending over hand and foot to make it the best eighteenth for our Baby Girl and everyone got thank-yous except me. Damn I had my nails painted with glitter for fuck sakes, I've kept the polish on just in case it was some kind of teenager girly test.

Since it's a new day, I've decided to start a fresh. As soon as I set foot on the bus I could hear Ana giggling. The giggles were joined by a deeper tenor chuckle, and my gut knotted. Honestly I felt my balls shattering and vomit seeping in my mouth. There it was again, jealously. I didn't know why it bothered me that Ethan was already getting comfortable with her. Of course I had planned doing the exact same thing but I hadn't put my best friend in the whole scenario for tonight. With Elliot and Luke off doing probably a list of groupies and I had assumed he would have too. As always I never truly think things through.

The night I had planned…well wanted some alone time with her, my Baby Girl. Well this was before she gave the whole shitty mood with added bitch. Ideally I would love to have her end up on my lap, but I highly doubt the scenario will play suit.

Making my entry like a herd of elephants I wanted to ensure they were aware I was coming. As I reached the doorway at the back, I found Ana in the spot she had sat for most of the day but she was snuggled up to him. Her head was on his chest and Ethan's arms were curled around her waist with her favorite pink blanket tucked around her legs. She looked like she was in bliss grinning up to him as if she was a child in his arms. But she no longer was, she was eighteen and a woman.

"I didn't think you would be back tonight, I thought you would be warming someones bed?" Ana said without looking over at me from where I stood in the doorway.

I grimaced, a little sick to my stomach that she was so familiar with my recent routine every night. "There was something better waiting for me here." I told her honestly.

"So not with Lizzie? _Lizzie Fucking Thayer._ You know you're _girlfriend_!" The blood drained from my face.

"Cat's out of the bag" Ethan said.

"Shut up Eth." I yelled at my best-friend.

"Annie… Ana."

"Oh no. I gave several opportunities, you had your chance especially last night." She held up her wrist with her new tattoo.

SHIT. She was setting me up… to fail. FUCK!

"I'm surprised you want to spend time with little Annie over your _girlfriend_? You know it's not my birthday anymore. You're not required to be here." She huffed crossing her arms over her chest.

"I'm sorry. I should have been honest, plus we are over. I'm certain she was fucking someone behind my back." I rubbed my hair, fucking worried what else she was going to blurt out.

Ana muttered something like _I know the feeling_ under her breath but I wasn't too certain they were the words.

"Sorry?" Now that wasn't the voice of a confident guy. Shit!

"Oh I know she was fucking around, I saw. It was Ell. I caught him the other night here on the bus. I guess he didn't realize I was here?"

"Oh course he would have known, you sleep at the back of the bus."

Her head sunk straight into her knees.

"I was trying to sleep in your berth, with the curtain almost closed. Elliot didn't think to look there." I was trying to keep an angry look but I'm sure it came out surprised.

"Why were you in my be—"

"Just don't ask ok." She shook her head.

"Please Ana, lets make up and be like the old days. I had a lapse in concentration and thought I would try something different. Any ways how is the now eighteen and one day old." I winked.

"Fine." She rolled her eyes, and I was tempted to say how rude it was but I bite my tongue. "There's plenty of room on the couch… move over you big toosh Eth." She grumbled to Ethan.

I wasn't about to turn the invitation down. Sending Ethan a smug grin, which he rolled his eyes at, I sat on the other end of the couch. Once I was comfortable, I did something that I had wanted to do all day. I pulled her away from Ethan, tucked her into my side, and kissed her forehead. "Happy birthday, Baby Girl. I've missed you."

…..

I woke with a warm weight on my chest. Something soft brushed across my cheek, and I blinked open my eyes to find Ana sleeping soundly on top of me. Ok she was partially on me, but I can dream.

My body grew harder, because yeah, I had woken with my usual hard-on after dreaming of this beautiful girl. Her sweet smelling hair caressed my face, tickling me a little, and I just barely bit back a groan. With a soft sigh, she shifted, not disturbed by my slight movements. She had fallen asleep with one or the other of us over the last few years so this was nothing new to her. For me, however, it was a mixture of heaven and hell. But I chose to enjoy this moment rather than let it make me miserable.

The last thing I remembered was Ethan turning in for the night around three o'clock. The bus was about to leave, and Elliot and Luke had been in bed for more than an hour by then. With both of us getting tired but not ready to head off to bed just yet, I had turned on another movie and stretched out on the long couch. Ana hadn't even asked before lying down beside me. As tiny as she was she didn't take up much room, and I had held onto her tight as the bus had pulled out into traffic and the opening credits started.

The movie hadn't been over before I had drifted off, still holding her close. She must have done the same, and then rolled on top of me in her sleep. Content for the moment, I ran my fingers over the soft skin of her bare arm, loving how silky it was. Goosebumps popped up as I continued the slow caress.

Knowing that, at least in her sleep, she liked my touch thrilled me on a dark level, and I hated myself all over again. I couldn't do this. She trusted me, loved me as a friend and nothing more. She deserved better than what I could ever give her. I knew how hard it was to keep a meaningful relationship going when you were a rocker. I had watched the friends I had made over the years go through one horrible breakup after another.

Any stupid ideas that I might have harbored the day before were just that—stupid. Besides, I was sure that she didn't want the same thing. She hadn't so much as hinted that she even liked me as more than a friend.

Deflated, I moved so she was lying beside of me on the couch instead of on top of me. Ana's deep blue eyes snapped open and she frowned up at me. "Okay?"

My lips lifted in a half smile. "Yeah, just thinking." I pulled her close, tucking her head under my chin.

"Hopefully not about Lizzie."

"Never again."

I was actually thinking about my so called longest ever fucking girlfriend lasted close to three months. Where my longest ever secret is now creeping towards fourteen years.

 _I'_ _m so fucked._

* * *

 **AN:**

 **HAPPY BIRTHDAY** **\- NOFX 2007. I changed a few lyrics in the chapter. Please take a minute to listen to this version of Happy Birthday. Found here - youtube dot com /watch?v=lD7LpAWJ9tg**

 **Don't forget three updates this week THURSDAY, SUNDAY and TUESDAY.**

 **I post teasers 24 hours before I update on my fb page (see my profile for links) and the fb group - FSOG Fanfic Followers.**

 **Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns. See you on Thursday for "** **Chapter** **11 - Tripping, Spinning, Falling." (APOV: Shit hits the fan at Burning Embers final concert before their vacay.)**

 **missmusicteach**


	12. Ch 11: Tripping, Spinning, Falling

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER** **ELEVEN** **:** **TRIPPING, SPINNING, FALLING**

 _ **Annie**_

Time grew to a standstill but the evening eventually made its appearance. Burning Embers last concert before our much needed three and a half month vacay. Tomorrow, late afternoon to be specific we'll be flying out to Reno. I should be excited but the negatives are… the vomit. It continues to cause me havoc. This makes me feel like I'm in limbo, dead but simultaneously living. It didn't help last night's concert Luke was given the Grim Reapers scythe and a black cloak by a fan. I thought it was the end when I saw him. It scared the shit out of me. Literally. I couldn't leave the bathroom for 15 minutes. So what are the positives of this fucked up situation? Something really worthwhile, me snuggling up to my favorite guy at the back of the bus. If he only knew my true feelings it would make everything so much easier.

Of all days, the day before vacay my inner bitch went up another notch that I didn't even know existed. Even my own mood swings are giving me whiplash. It got me thinking of all my symptoms and I couldn't help but use the wonders of the internet - Dr Google. So the diagnoses are I have a brain tumor or some other kind of horrible cancer or possibly the complete opposite bi-polar. I regret it instantly for using the search engine. It's only added more to the raging anxiety I have and I want to vomit again. _God help me._

My four guys are on stage with superb lighting effects, complementing the pulse of the songs. I wish I was in the audience rather than back here so I could see their faces front on. This was a special concert Christian promised to perform a song he has been working for the last month. One that will be on their next album. It was a surprise to me, since only a few weeks ago Christian said he couldn't get anything done and out of his foggy head. Daggers and little love hearts. I don't think I was the only one that was surprised with this new song. Luke, Ethan and even Elliot were shocked with his announcement when it was mentioned on the bus this morning.

" _So are we going to see it before we look like fools on stage trying to play? Or do you really want us to wing the whole song?_ " Ethan squawked at Christian and the other two band members agreed with him.

" _No just me solo._ _"_ Christian whispered to everyone.

If Jack were here he would need a defibrillator stat because he would be having a coronary or possibly stroke that _The Christian Grey_ was writing music again.

New music will do Burning Embers a world of good. Their material is beginning to get old and some how Jack has been requesting ways to extend their fan-base to the younger generation. Maybe this song will be the starting point, but solo? This is highly unusual for Christian.

Hiding in the wings I stood in the dark shadows behind the thick woolen curtains. Of course I was torturing myself watching girls of all ages throw their intimates at Christian. Being the complete pro it didn't faze him. He gave a little smirk hook of his lip acknowledging his gifts to the female crowd.

Fuck I just want this night over and have isolation, sun and sleep. Oh and loads of sleep.

My head was pounding as the music was hitting the core of my skull. Maybe I should crash now, head back to the hotel early. Closing my eyes, rubbing my face I could feel myself swaying and two hands linked around my waist. Unfortunately there weren't Christian's but they felt familiar.

Then I saw his face. I couldn't help but roll my eyes and I wanted to vomit on him right there.

Javi Ramos curled his fingers to my eyes in a stomach wrenching wave. It was hard to miss the fresh ink on his right wrist. _Lizzie_. Lizzie mole face two timing slut Thayer. I could feel the bile creeping up my esophagus.

"And what the fuck are you doing here back stage at a Burning Embers Concert? Lithium Springs looking for new material or just the bass player?" I demanded. Hoping he would just go and leave. No it was the complete opposite he just continued his hold around my waist. "So are you two finally official?" I removed his right arm from my waist, outlining the name Lizzie around his wrist. The shock was when he flinched pulling his arm away.

There was history between us. Far from a sexual relationship, but the tension was real. Mostly for Javi. I only used him to make Christian jealous about his whore Lizzie at the time and now four years later it's still doing the job. Christian and the rest of my guys made it clear I was off limits in the end. It rattled Javi, but he tried his best to stay way. In the end it was convenient that Javi and Lizzie hooked up in the end, but they have been on and off for a while now.

"Ah…" Rubbing his already messy dark mane. "So yeah, it's _still_ a work in progress." He strangled the few words. Javi knew Lizzie wasn't high on my list of women to be around. I hated the bitch and I never want to see her face near me again, I hope she does me the same courtesy.

"So exactly why are you here?" I questioned the Lithium Springs bass player.

"Well, I was in the neighborhood?" He shrugged. "No actually, I was fucking bored and wanted to see the guys play. Maybe it was time for some payback for Ethan." he giggled.

"I think that's a NO. I don't need injuries and importantly I do not need you to make me late for my much needed vacay Javi. No shit okay." I urgently looked around backstage hoping the remaining two thirds were at bay. "Please say Ryder and CT aren't here. I don't need trouble from the other bad kids."

"Nope I'm a lone wolf tonight. They are in bed fucking their significant others or some shit." He laughed.

My palm smacked my forehead. Do rockers ever grow up? Nope. I think it's just Javi Ramos, ok maybe Elliot Grey too.

His arms went around my waist again, and it felt a little too tight. And I was feeling so off I couldn't help but lean into his flimsy muscle tank.

"See you can't resist me." He remarked rubbing my hips.

"No I'm exhausted and you have caught me off guard." I gritted my teeth.

"You know you want to howl under the moon with me tonight. Come on admit it. You _looove_ me."

I snorted so hard, the phlegm caught in the back of my throat. "No Javi I fucking hate you. You do realize Lithium Springs are Burning Embers arch nemesis. And don't forget the whole Lizzie saga." I exclaimed.

"Oh come on, we're going on tour together after the Summer. Let's get started early to know one another a little earlier. We didn't really hit it off last time." I could feel his breathe on my ear.

" _Lizzie?_ " I muttered under this husky voice.

I couldn't tell him. Oh yeah by the way Javi I totally have feelings for Christian. But with true LS fashion Javi could still make me a little breathless. He was gorgeous but no where near on the level of Christian Grey. So I lost a split second of commonsense and I let him kiss me. I opened enough for his tongue to slip in and the taste of coconuts and a hint of mint seeped over my tongue. It was so tropical. It made me tingle. I admit I wasn't unaffected by the kiss. It was slightly passionate but I'm not planing on fucking him behind the sound desk backstage.

I moved away to take a deep breathe, holding my hands up. "Guilty as charged I'm not immune like all women around you." But I doubt any woman with a heterosexual libido could resist. The difference between Javi and Christian. Christian always held up a wall keeping certain woman away, Javi was open like a 24 hour whore house for all, minus the cash exchange of course.

"She's coming on tour isn't she." I stated knowing it's going to be a long tour.

"Why do you want to experience a threesome with this God?" Javi groaned lifting his muscle tank. Me on the other hand I almost choked on the thought and view in front of me.

"Oh please, the only Gods I know are right there on that stage. And they complete this." I banged on my chest. I didn't want to admit but Christian filled it most.

"Well have a look what your little boys are doing." He pointed to the stage. "Nope I correct myself. Just that Christian fucker."

"Javi." I punched him so hard, he found it hard to suck in air. "Shut up, I'm trying to listen." He flicked my nose with his finger. "Eww, do you even wash your hands."

The sound of an acoustic guitar shocked me and Christian singing solo no harmonies just purely Christian. But this is so raw and exposed. Not very Burning Embers.

"Here is our surprise… well mostly my surprise for all you out there. I've been slaving over this for weeks. Probably months but it didn't want to be written so it's been a long time in the making. I hope you enjoy it." His voice was shaking and broken. What the Hard rocker guitarist Christian Grey nervous? That is insane, he fed on nerves it made his performances better and never allowed the audience to see it. He was bare, back to basics acoustic with no effects.

It was a ballad. Slow. Soft and in three, honestly unheard of for most rock songs.

"So here it is… _You and Me_." He whispered into the microphone.

What the fuck is he doing? The thing which surprised me the most was when the guitar and voice connected.

 _What day is it? And in what month?_

 _This clock never seemed so alive_

 _I can't keep up and I can't back down_

 _I've been losing so much time_ _…_

 _'Cause it's you and me and all the_ _guys_ _with nothing to do, nothing to lose_

 _And it's you and me and all the_ _guys_

 _And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you_

 _All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right_

 _I'm tripping on words_

 _You got my head spinning_

 _I don't know where to go from here_

 ***LIFEHOUSE - YOU and ME (lyrics slightly altered)**

My heart was breaking into pieces. He always wrote from his past. There were lots of memories of his childhood in his songs. His, the guys as a group and mine. His music has always been close to all of us. But when Christian sang about how he's been losing so much time and can't back down. That his words aren't coming out right… tripping, spinning and not sure where to go from here. I thought I was going to die.

 _'Cause it's you and me and all the_ _guys_ _with nothing to do, nothing to prove_

 _And it's you and me and all the_ _guys_

 _And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you_

 _Something about you now_

 _I can't quite figure out_

 _Everything she does is beautiful_

 _Everything she does is right_

 ***LIFEHOUSE - YOU and ME (lyrics slightly altered)**

Christian was in love. He was in love with a woman. _Shit._

I don't think I can handle this. The closest he's had to a serious relationship was with Lizzie, but she's been long gone from his bed. Honestly he's only had one-night stands for the past few years… hang on I haven't seen anyone with him? Shit I don't know I've been so sick lately, oh my God has he been seeing someone behind our backs? No mine importantly.

All these thoughts were making my head spin. My eyes were beginning to blur over with tears. The simple three beat pulse make me think we were dancing a waltz. Just Christian and I. But it wasn't it was for his woman.

"Woah, Annie. Easy." Javi saved me from falling to the cold floor.

The bile was there. Springing to my teeth. With Javi holding me and the thoughts of Christian being with someone. I'm going to… I ripped myself from Javi grip and instantly knew I wasn't going to make it to a bathroom, I searched quickly for somewhere. I emptied my stomach into a near by trash can, not that there was much, since I couldn't eat more than a slice of plain toast this morning and a few sips of cool water.

I was cringing and wishing I had tied my hair up since now I'm sure I have reconstituted carbohydrates in my hair.

Javi cooed telling me to take it easy and it will be ok. But it wasn't. The fluids were coming out of every orifice on my face. Tears, mucus, vomit. This is what my life has come to sticky gunk. I'm dying. Dr Google was right. This is my death. The Grim Reaper is coming.

I couldn't stop. The strain to get the vomit out continued as I dry heaved. It wouldn't dissipate there was no end.

"Fuck Annie. Anastasia!" Javi yelled. "You are going back to the hotel now."

Muttering to myself in utter confusion. I'm not sure if he heard my words "I don't feel too good. I need to sleep Javi I haven't been feeling well lately."

"Shit. I'm taking you now."

…..

I don't know exactly how I made it to the foyer of the hotel we had been stay at for the last few night, but the urge to vomit hit me again.

I'm in trouble. Oh my God. It is cancer. Why am I so stubborn. I toppled over on all fours and began to retch until there was no more. The involuntary force made the illusion my esophagus was oozing out of my mouth. Or maybe it was. Maybe it was the cancer. My hands slipped under me due to the green bile on the tiled mosaic floor. I could feel the sweat dripping from my face. I was most definitely in trouble and needed all the help I could get.

Javi picked me up, "Anastasia, fuck this shit, we are going to the hospital!" I could hear the sound of an engine roaring and the robotic voice of a GPS.

"You better not do anything stupid, like die on me Annie Wilks. I really don't want to be beaten to death by Burning Embers, especially Grey he has a powerful left hook. Actually they both do… _fuuuck_. I'm so dead." Javi groaned, and the sound of leather being twisted filled my ears.

I couldn't focus. I swear I was in a car, whose unsure. Some how I was wheeled on a bed being forced to lay on my back but my stomach hurt so it was impossible. The white lights were straining my eyes. Suddenly the feeling of a pillow was under my head.

"Oh God, hold on Annie." Javi muttered as he rubbed my knuckles.

"What, huh?" I couldn't comprehend let a lone concentrate with what was happening.

I just wanted to throw up again, but my throat hurt, my stomach hurt and the deadly disease cancer came back into my thought.

It grew dark as my eyes closed.

…..

I woke to find Javi pacing in the small cubicle. Assuming we were in the ER.

"Severe dehydration." A female voice called. "Sir how long has she been throwing up?"

"Maybe thirty minutes?" Javi sounded worried and stress. "I don't know she said she had been feeling sick for a while. Is this bad?"

I looked around I was right. I'm in a hospital and begun to feel faint.

"Honey, I need you to stay still, you need fluids and the only way you can efficiently receive them is intravenously." Instantly a sharp needle stabbed into my hand. The lethargy was strong and I couldn't even make the smallest whimper.

"Doctor, temperature of 101."

"Broad spectrum antibiotics, and low dose metoclopramide urgently. We need to get this vomiting under control. Pathology full bloods, include liver function, glucose, hCG levels. Label urgent."

"Yes doctor."

"Anastasia. Your blood work should be ready in the next few hours. Now _please lay down._ "

"What's happening. I need to get back to my guys. Where's Javi?"

"Oh your boyfriend?" What the hell was the nurse talking about? I don't have a boyfriend.

"Boyfriend? No he's just… Javi."

"Now just rest dear. We will be moving you to a private room as soon as there is one available. The doctor will be back momentarily so no getting up." Easy for her to say.

"Fuck I hate doctors." I whispered under my breath.

"Naaw well that's unfortunate, my wife doesn't think so." The tall tanned gentlemen entered the cubicle. "My name is Nathan Waterhouse. Dr Waterhouse or simply Nafe."

"Like _knive?_ "

"Well are you a chipper patient… Nafe will be sufficient." He held my wrist and stared at his watch. "Anastasia—"

"Please call me something other than that, like A or Annie."

"Ok Annie, you are very ill. How long has the nausea been causing you grief?"

"I don't know… a month or two. Ok maybe three?"

"And that whole time you've been throwing up?" Nafe answered with a hint of anxiety in his voice.

"Is this bad?" Cancer was hovering over my eyes and I knew it. I'm dying, but no I'm stubborn and refused to get it checked out early on.

"Well you are severely dehydrated. Do you find it difficult to eat."

"Yeah or to keep anything down."

"Well I'm glad your boyfriend brought you in. I think another 24-36 hours and your kidneys and liver may have started to shut down. Do you understand the severity of your condition. This could have killed you."

"Boyfriend? Die?"

If any of the guys even heard those words they would have gone ape-shit. Why does everyone think Javi is my boyfriend?

"You know sexy dude, great skin, tatts? _Psst the bass player of Lithium Springs_." He flicked his head toward Javi in the distance. He was on his phone cursing at the object.

"Nope not my boyfriend but I'm sure my guys would snaps his legs if they thought he was."

"Your … _guys_? Hang on I'm not even going to ask." The Doctor shook his head and giggled to himself while making notes on I assumed my medical chart.

"Doctor please can we speed up this process of making me better. I have a plane to catch tomorrow afternoon and then three and a half months of isolation, sun and most importantly sleep."

"Ok Annie, lets just back up here. I'm not releasing you until the earliest tomorrow morning. And that is only a big maybe, if your bloods come back normal."

"I can't miss my vacay. Hang on you don't think they will be normal?"

 _Cancer, Cancer, Cancer!_

"We need to get to the bottom of this. Just relax, you're cardiac monitor is going crazy. Take a few deep breaths and try to sleep." How did I not notice the monitor clipped to my chest and over my index finger the glowing red making look like ET phoning home.

Javi came back into the cubicle. "I'm sorry Annie, I can't get a hold of anyone. Why wont they answer their fucking phones!" He cursed. "The concert would have finished close to 20 minutes ago."

"Oh Javi. Are you a dumbass or does Lithium Springs do things differently? What is the first thing you want to do after you finish a show, more importantly a final show?" It was like the light bulb switched and his whole face lit up.

"You know. Chicks, booze and duh more chicks."

"Exactly. They won't even know that I'm missing until tomorrow morning when I haven't woken their lazy asses."

"Do you really think you're just an afterthought. Jesus, these four guys worship you like a Goddess Annie."

"Usually after a concert… there is no way I'm even in there minds." It didn't bother me… ok it bothered me. I'm not going to complain, they have done so much for me. I know they love me. I eyed Dr Waterwatsit "Um how about checking on those blood tests. Like now!" I growled.

"Is she always this…. _moody?_ " The kind doctor mouthed to Javi.

Javi couldn't help but laugh. "Oh dude, I like you. Like a lot. If you knew the four guys she takes care of on a regular basis you would understand that this is nice Annie." He continued to laugh.

"Ok shut it Ramos!" I crossed my arms in an angry huff.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **YOU AND ME** **\- LIFEHOUSE 2005. I changed a few lyrics in the chapter. Please take a few minutes to listen to this song. Found here - youtube dot com /watch?v=ac3HkriqdGQ**

 **Thanks Stargazer93 for the chapter title! :-)**

 **Don't forget three updates this week SUNDAY, TUESDAY and THURSDAY.**

 **I post teasers 24 hours before I update on my fb page (see my profile for links) and the fb group - FSOG Fanfic Followers.**

 **Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns. See you on Thursday for "** **Chapter** **12 - Hard Situations." (CPOV: still in the past. Annie is about 20, still innocent but it's literally killing Christian…)**

 **missmusicteach**


	13. Ch 12: Hard Situations

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER** **TWELVE** **:** **HARD SITUATIONS**

 _ **Christian**_

Your worst battle is between what you know and what you feel.

Battling something within your head is a million times more challenging that the physical fight. I've been in brawls before, small fights and single punches. Some were for the punch, others were on the receiving blows. Once they were over I walked away, sometimes with a little needed persuasion but in the end hopefully I walked being the stronger mind and person.

Currently the contender up is the beautiful soul, Anastasia Wilks. The feelings were going hardcore in my crazy fucked up mind.

Fuck it was hard. I couldn't just forfeit. I needed to press on. So of course it didn't stop hurting and it began to eat away at my mind and soul. There were points where I became a walking hard-on and the dream of banging random groupies were gone. At the back of my mind I thought, yeah it would be just easier to fuck these chicks silly to get this lone woman out of my system. Of course I choice chicks who looked exactly like her, petite, brunette, even down to the blue eyes. But every time I was balls deep inside of them I could only think of one. Ana.

Last night I took another chick in the bathroom backstage. I had even cried out Ana's name as I blew my load into a rubber sheath while surrounded by groupie stench. The chick didn't care what I called her. Mostly because she was off her rocker (literally) on some party drug or possibly highly intoxicated I can't tell the difference anymore. That's when I realized I needed to stop. It hit home I needed to move on and set on my dream even if it was going to take a life time to unfold. Surprising my constant, my mentor helped me stay on track and not stray from the light.

My mind and emotions were growing stronger at an exponential rate. Each of my band-brothers were clearly noticing. Ethan more than the others but never Ana. She was oblivious to the idea one of her guys would feel that way about her. She was impassable to the notion and it was hurting.

I wasn't in a good frame of mind as my raw emotions where tangling with new feelings. Our Australasian tour was six weeks in after a few weeks spent in the north Island of New Zealand. Now in Australia it was serene even in the large capital cities. The landscape was ever changing but even with so much natural beauty my stress was began to pile up. Sometime between week two and three of the Australian tour, the monotonous traveling from city to town to city along the east coast, unable to sleep without a special girl haunting my dreams, and trying to hide very single fucked up emotion I had for her from Burning Embers was hitting me hard. I felt as if I had aged ten years, I was truly bone fucking tired.

My only reverie was when Ana would crawl into my sleeping berth ensuring I was ok. It was a simple peace with the woman who meant so much lay asleep beside me. I was praying a lot to the big guy thanking him that she was doing it night after night. Ana might not have realized that I was completely infatuated, but she did see how exhausted I was. Utterly tired. She was worried about me constantly, and on top of taking care of everything else Burning Embers happened to need, she was making it her job to ensure I slept. I loved that.

…..

"I've just been out and about, and I found this little quaint alternative store. You know the type with crystals and hippies." Ana held up two fingers indicating a peace sign. "Actually there are many around here in Byron Bay. So I've bought a heap of stuff, mostly home remedy sleep tricks." She said as she laid the contents in a neat row at the foot of my bed.

Stretching hearing my joints and spine crack I was done for the day. As my tired eyes stared at the ceiling I was over the endless hotel rooms. I was laying in the middle of the bed wearing only a pair of black boxers. Something all members of Burning Embers have grown accustom to seeing each other in minimal clothing during years of touring on a bus. We are all comfortable, just these days it's a little too uncomfortable for certain parts of my anatomy.

Ana flopped down beside me smiling, the sudden bounce made my body jerk on the bed. She made me instantly relax and I was comfortable for what felt like the first time in months. Happiness grew over my lips and it had been quite some time I had felt like this, too long to remember. Why? Because Ana was having a sleepover in my room tonight. She had promised me all kinds of things. Purely innocent. But of course these things were going to be sweet torture especially on my weak mind and ever constant hard-on.

Ana sectioned her hair into three and began to loosely braid her locks, tying the end with a black band. Her tail hung long over her shoulder. It was a delectable sight as always my imagination took hold. The image flash before my very eyes her on all fours, my calloused hands clenching her roped mane and my cock pounding her ass. Instantly it made me feel like a sick mother fucker.

"Ok so I have two types of tea they both give a sedative affect. Valerian Root and Chamomile, so you have a choice of which smells better." She held both of the boxes of tea bags.

"Please say you bought sweeteners." She pointed to where the electric kettle sat and there were small sachets of varying types of sugar. "Well that's a fucking relief." I rested my head back on the pillow. "I like things… _sweet_." It shocked me to see Ana blush and she quickly hurried to her line up of remedies at the end of the bed.

"Cherry Juice." Leaning her head to the right she shook the small glass bottle.

"Yes cherries are the sweetest." I winked.

"Nope it's tart. Full of tryptophans which converts to serotonin and eventually changes into melatonin which is the thing that makes you drowsy."

"God it sounds complicated." I groaned, then letting out a much needed sigh.

"What are you talking about, you just need to drink it." Ana laughed as she played with the end of her braid. "Also here are some nice massage oils that are supposed to help you relax and have a restful slumber. Well that's what the woman told be, honestly with what I forked over, they better induce a fucking good coma." She pulled out her phone from her pocket. "Also some soothing music can unwind the mind. I've been listening to ocean waves recently, but…" she walked to the sliding doors and the sound of the Pacific Ocean were tens of feet from us. "I could find rainforests or something along those lines, if you think the waves wont work?"

I shrugged. "Whatever you have planned I'm up for it Baby Girl."

My eyes locked on to her body watching her as she made two cups of tea with plenty of sugar. No matter the amount of sugar she added each were as bitter as the other. On a whim I randomly drank the Chamomile in full. I almost spat the last mouth full as Ana removed her pajama pants.

"Hey I don't want to get oil on my fav pjs ok." She said as she drew back the thin sheer curtain.

The sound of the waves were hypnotic and quite relaxing already. Ana placed several bottles of massage oil on the bedside table and dimmed the numerous lights in the suite. As always the sight of her was waking me up, to see the small pajama top and pink polka dot panties made my mind go crazy. Mostly inappropriate things crept into my mind about the beautiful woman.

"On your stomach mister." She commanded, pointing that little delectable finger of hers.

What! She can't be serious. How was I suppose to lie on my stomach with her touching me? God was finally executing his harsh punishment for all my tasteless thoughts of Ana over the years. Was it really possible to break an erect cock? Well I guess I am about to find out.

My dick became instantly hard as I rolled over onto my torso, quickly bunching the pillow I hugged it as she climbed on top of me. When her thin panty clad pussy settled on my hips, I had to gnaw on the pillow choking on the cotton fibers to keep myself from howling my pleasure aloud for the hotel to hear.

 _God please help me man, why are you taunting me with the sweet innocent pleasure and I can_ _'_ _t fucking do anything about it. WHY!_

Ana lent over, her chest to my back with her lips to my ear. "What are you mumbling about? Are you really in a lot of pain." _Oh fuck YES!_ "Chris, don't stress I know I haven't done this before. I swear I'm not going to hurt you or be really crap. I watched some YouTube vids, so I'm a certified pro now. So I _need_ you to relax."

Was she serious? This was a torturous heaven with agonizing pain from my waist to head. How could she be oblivious with what was happening? She truly was an innocent gem.

She rocked back into her original position just over my ass. Ana felt so warm even through our thin layers of underwear. The ruffle around the edge of her panties scratched my skin causing a little friction I was dying for more. Good, hard panty friction. FUCK! All I wanted to do was roll her onto her back, push my face to her sweet lips to smell and tasted her virtue because it felt perfect against my ass. I'm sure it's vanilla… sweet Baby Girl vanilla.

Ana got straight to business and poured the oil into her hands. I was in a daze over the familiar aroma which I normally associated with her. Vanilla and lavender. Even with my cock aching in-between the weight of my body and the firm mattress, my heart rate began to ease off slightly. My hips slightly rocked trying to give my guy some kind of relief. Then I worried maybe I was leaking pre-cum, I didn't want a damp patch over my boxers or the sheets for that matter. With my body working on autopilot I held the reins and stopped. Breathing a sigh of conflicted sensations. I closed my heavy eyes and relaxed.

Her hands rubbed together warming the oil between her fingers. It gave the ever familiar sound of arousal being pumped slowly in and out. I needed air urgently and lifted my head to pant.

"Down Mister!" She whipped.

 _Down I need Baby Girl but it aint working._

Her small soft hands touched my bare back. It was as if I were being shocked, zapped to the core but only in the best way possible. My blood started to heat, goosebumps popping up ever where she touched. At times I was flinching as I know I'm enjoying this too much and I'm going to blow my cover or my load soon. Damn those incredible hands of hers stroked firmly over my back and down my spine.

I let out three small groans. I was helpless and unable to contain my pleasure. Her slight giggling didn't help. "Well I'm glad you like this. I hope in the future I get something back in return."

 _If only I could Baby Girl. If only._

Re-positioning herself, her palms made their way down my legs to my ankles squeezing them with firm pressure then running her nails up my legs once again. Each touch of her fingers and the flat of her palm were both soothing and utterly distracting. My body was at war with it's self, wanted to both relax yet ready to play. Make love mostly. But I was greedy for her touch . So I didn't much as move as my words were limited as I basked in those incredible magical hands over my whole body for almost an hour.

"Feel good?" Annie asked as she put the lid back on the last bottle of oil. "Any tiredness… sleepy?"

I had to clear my throat before I could speak. "Ye-ah some-thing like that." My voice broke twice as I was just that little too excited. I continued to muttered something unintelligible into the pillow. While she still had her back to me, I rolled out of bed like a ninja and made my getaway toward the bathroom. "Be right back, I just need a minute." I called over my shoulder. Mostly it was so she didn't see the incredible hard-on escaping my boxers.

If there was any hope of getting any sleep tonight I had to take care of the pain in between my legs. Rushing to close the door my fingers were fumbling as if I were extremely nervous. It took over three attempts to lock the door just to ensure I had privacy and no unexpected visitors. A quick flick of the faucet on a low flow just to muffle the sound just to cover all bases. What was I sixteen again? This is ridiculous, I'm nervous over Ana… no I'm… Ok moving on.

Leaning against the tiled wall I pulled my throbbing cock from my boxers ensuring I had freedom for my balls. I went searching in Ana's toiletries bag for a hair band, quickly I wrapped it twice around the base of my shaft, hoping to give a quicker release.

Admiring the view in the full length mirror, my hard cock and makeshift cock ring, it was amazing. It truly was astonishing as the sensation raged through my veins, with a life of it's own it twitched until it was at a high attention. Without even stroking I could feel the deep pulse within. As my hand cupped around my rod, sliding up to the tip I had to grit my teeth to keep from groaning in pleasure. My head hooked back against the wall, and my eyelids locked close. My eyes were in an askew heaven visualizing sick images of my Baby Girl, as the fantasy came my eyes continued to roll around in my head giving a false sense of vertigo.

I only had to repeat the fresh memory of Ana's hands all over my body to jack off. I pretended her hands on my aching flesh, my hard pulsing cock moving up and down towards culmination. My heart rate took off as my balls rose to fit snug in-between my swollen cock and aching perineum. It was obvious it was going to be over sooner than I had anticipated.

"Fuck me this is … fuck I can't finish. Not yet." I muttered under my aching breath.

Quickly I grabbed the closest towel placing it on the bathroom bench. My cock rested on the towel as my hand continued to pump faster and faster always giving much needed attention to it's sensitive head. Urgently I spurted my largest spray of come, a thick creamy release over the fluffy towel. I continued to ease the pace to a strong hold to control the aching climax. When I could catch my labored breath, I slowed, breathing through my nose and out of my mouth.

"Damn that towel is never going to be the same again." I chuckled to myself. Throwing behind the bathroom trashcan and quickly placing the hairband in the can.

Jacking can never replace sex, but if I have to do this for the rest of my life with Ana near by I'll die a happy man. Being wrapped in her arms will be better but I'm not complaining.

I flushed the toilet and washed my hands, knowing that Ana would bitch at me if I didn't. Unlocking the door, it swung open. I was overwhelmed by the lingering smell of vanilla occupying my nose. My stare made it to _our_ bed and I found her already under the covers, her head was snuggled on one of my pillows. Ana made another fresh brew of chamomile tea as it was steaming by the bedside table. For a moment I just stood there, a dim light cast over the bed making Annie glow. She had untied her braid and long curls stretched over our pillows. In the moment, that very minute I imagined that we were a couple and every night we slept like this. I had every right to climb into bed with her, my partner, lover, possibly wife and make endless love making until dawn. Unfortunately tonight I will need to settle with plain sleeping with my Baby Girl… the most important woman in my life.

"Christian how are you feeling?" She asked with a concern worry painted over her face.

I moved away from my dream… "I feel—" I hesitated. _Like my heart is going to explode from my chest if I don_ _'_ _t tell you how much I care about you_ _…_ _love you._ "—Better, much better." I smiled.

"We can make this a date tomorrow night if you want to?" _If only it was a date and real._ "I can lock it into my calendar." She giggled and I know she's been serious, but I really want the date.

Her body cuddled close when I crawled under the covers to her. "Well I am free as long as you don't find something that will keep you busy after the show tomorrow night." Ana stated, completely unaffected.

My gut knotted. I wanted to be sick.

She was so nonchalant about it. She still believed I was regularly sleeping with random girls, groupies or whores. But it wasn't the case. Meanwhile I was left with a ball of guilt, as if I had cheated on her after fucking all the women I have been with in the past, including Lizzie. If she only knew I was on the phone with my mentor, father figure, good friend _Hard_ …. or Ray as he refers by now. Most nights I would find a dark corner in between the buses and trailers spending hours pouring my soul out to him. As always he would listen and give all the advice in the world. Only recently I started mentioning about Ana, and he's told me to tell her about my endless feelings to her. To put it bluntly, I don't think I can… I'm a chicken. Chickenshit.

I wrapped my arms tight around her and pulled Ana close to mine, tucking her head under my chin. "Tomorrow night it is Baby Girl… it's a date."

…..

"That bitch can fuck off. I hate her. Her bullshit red hair, her smile, that whole thing on her head!" Annie shouted across the tour bus.

" _Whhhy?_ " Ethan groaned and sounded slight irritated.

"Just… because…"Ana paused catching her breath. "I just fucking do!"

Ethan sighed. "Do you realize you're acting like a whiny twelve year old? You're rambling about something I have no idea about." Ethan groaned for a second time. I was surprising myself that I wasn't jumping in to help my best-friend. "I can't fix the issue if you don't tell me what's wrong! I'm not a fucking mind reader Annie. I maybe a chick whisperer, but bitch isn't covered in my repertoire. So help me out okay!" His voice grew to a new level.

"I don't need you to do anything. Just leave me be. Let me have my bitchy psychotic moment okay." She sat down in a huff on the couch and a small sob appeared.

I just laid in my sleeping berth. Trying to write lyrics, chord progressions, a fucking riff but nothing. All I could hear in my head was Ethan and Ana at one another. I had the sudden urge to run… bolt far away from the bus. A pissed off Ana was not something I wanted to deal with today or any day. Week five into the Australian mainland tour and I was done. Not just for a few days, but a month long break from everything. I was over it.

"Annie, I don't like it when you're pissed. My ears get all tingly. It's like my spidy sense, there is something wrong. Tell me… _please_ , what happened?" Ethan pleaded.

Hearing my best friend and Ana instantly my mind was made. The dark thoughts I've had recently about the two came to head. I pulled back the thick black curtain and slipped out of bed. I had a pang in my gut. The more I saw them together the more I believed that they were joined, possibly by the pelvis. Fucking Ana and my best-friend! The rational part of me knew they were just friends, heck Ethan truly saw her as his little sister, but deep down the feelings were burning scorching my soul as I knew would always be a better man than I ever could for her. Yet the aberrant part of me, the crazy fucked up side which associates with Ana, didn't see it that way. This senseless part saw everything Ethan did with her as romantic, sensual and mostly lover-like. I torn leaving them alone for a second. Hate was easy, but honestly I resented him. Watching him cuddled my Baby Girl or see them laugh together without me in the picture offended me, made me ill. I fucking hate what my mind has become, I've lost all rational logic to function when Ana is involved.

Every step I took towards the back of the bus, their conversation became clearer, and I stopped before the doorway to listen. I had no idea who Ana loathed, but there weren't many she's to choose from. Other than Ana, there were only a handful of females on this leg of the tour.

"I was just doing my thing, making sure that everything was ready for tonight's concert. I didn't even look in the bitch's direction. And then she has the fucking indecency to come up to me… right up to my fucking face…" Ana stopped and let out a high screech. I needed check my ears weren't bleeding due to the pitch of the squeal. _Nope all good._ "Just don't bother it doesn't matter anymore. I hate her, period."

"She's a little in you're face, I get it a total whore but I hadn't gotten that vindictive bitch vibe from Lizzie Thayer before."Ethan said.

I frowned.

 _FUCK_

Lizzie Thayer. The Lizzie Thayer that was my three month trial girlfriend? And Annie was having problems with her? Why would they be arguing? It's been over two years it doesn't make sense. Hang on… Oh shit!

Lithium Springs was also headlining our tour and I know she was traveling with the band. I had seen her getting chumming with Javi Ramos and I was relieved at a point that he was finally leaving Ana alone. Could the two girls be arguing because they both wanted Javi? Was this a bitchy jealous battle or some shit? Or… no, Ana wouldn't be pissed at the way Lizzie cheated on me… never!

Not sure if I wanted to know the answer to that particular question, I stepped away from the back room where Ethan and Ana were still going head to head.

Then the blunt advice Ray gave me came to mind… _"_ _Grow some balls, you're the lead singer of a really popular band. You have thousands, sometimes tens of thousands of fans calling out your name. You_ _'_ _re part of Fucking Burning Embers and what? You_ _'_ _re too piss week to talk to a girl ten years your junior? Please let your balls drop now son because they must be hidden in your pink purse or something._ _"_

"Umm…" I cleared my throat. "What's all this hoo-haa about back here?" I demanded and cringed at my choice of words, yeah total dominant here with the word _hoo-haa_. What the fuck!

Ethan shrugged. "Annie and Lizzie got into a pretty fucking heated convo backstage about twenty minutes ago."

Ana's eyes glared where full of rage and pain. In an instantly she quickly hid them from me. What had I done? I'm male I have no fucking clue. _Hey big G help me here ok_.

"Lets be clear. Annie doesn't get along with anyone without a dick," I stated to Ethan. "It's not exactly a surprise, lets face it she hates chicks."

"I don't really give a fuck either way. But she started it with Annie and now Annie is upset. So something needs to happen here bro." Ethan rambled away to me.

"Annie's twenty now, Eth. She can handle a little female shit-storm on her own."

I wasn't expecting the plate to go flying by my head. I yelped and looked at Ana. She was standing there with another plate ready and waiting to be hurled at me. She was almost shaking with her anger. "Asshole!" And she threw the plate.

I had time to move out of the way this time. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I demanded, shocked by this sudden rage coming from her. "I didn't do anything!"

"You fucking asshole. Just leave me alone, Christian. I'm done." She pushed past me and practically ran from the bus.

Instantly I needed to follow her. I was sure she had had tears in her eyes. They were like flames burning my soul. A big beefy hand caught my arm, stopping me from taking another step. "Don't. Just give her five to calm down ok Chris."

"What the fuck just happened?" Rubbing my hair, wondering what the fuck is going on.

Ethan sighed. "A bunch of idiots that refuse to open their eyes." he muttered.

What the fuck is going on I'm so confused. I raised my head to ask him what he meant but he was already leaving to follow after Ana. I think I need to call Ray as soon as possible.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **Don't forget three updates this week TUESDAY, THURSDAY and SUNDAY.**

 **I post teasers 24 hours before I update on my fb page (see my profile for links) and the fb group - FSOG Fanfic Followers.**

 **Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns.**

 **See you on Tuesday for "** **Chapter** **13 - Puzzle Pieces." (APOV: present time and yes we find out what is wrong with Annie in this chapter…)**

 **missmusicteach**


	14. Ch 13: Puzzle Pieces

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER** **THIRTEEN: PUZZLE PIECES**

 _ **Annie**_

It was a miracle, the IV in my hand. I was feeling much better than I had in… months, but my stomach was still turning every couple of minutes. I haven't vomited but the nausea feeling was still there. My mind went back to Dr Google. _Cancer._ I had butterflies in my stomach. It was crazy insane. I don't know what's wrong with me, I've had every blood test under the sun and still waiting for a doctor to give me my results.

I'm thankful Javi decided to stay with me. He's tried countless times to get in contact with the guys but still no luck. I haven't seen him for a while now so I hope that's a good sign. The medical staff refused to put up with his attitude and cellar device usage in a the ER, so he has to use it out side the department.

Everything lower than my navel was going numb, I swear my feet must be starting to go gangrenous due to the lack of circulation and they will need to amputate. I've been on my ass for a good two hours, I'm in desperate need of sleep and possibly a big fat beef burger, a huge serving of fries and maybe a Dr Pepper on the side.

I was lucky to be transferred to a private room with a door and my own bathroom. I guess the perks of knowing rockers, but I bluntly refused to wear a hospital gown.

With a light tap on the door, Dr Waterwatsit came in with a medical tech in toe. She was dragging a really big intimidating machine.

"Don't panic Annie. It's just an ultrasound machine. I think we may have found something."

"Something?" I was trying to stay calm, but usually when a doctor says they have found something it means, you have cancer, are dying or the combination of the two.

 _Shit. I do have Cancer?_

"So I have your results, and I've found the reason for your sickness and I need to dabble with my hypothesis using this machine." The doctor stroked the large white contraption.

Dabble, what doctor uses the word dabble?

"Doctor Waterwatsit…"

"Waterhouse."

"Whatever. What's wrong with me?" _I'_ _m getting edgy I need answers damn it!_

"Oh nothing that won't resolve itself. I'm just uncertain when this will happen, the ultrasound will give me a clear answer."

The sound tech set up the machine and lifted my pink Burning Embers t-shirt.

"Oh my what an amazing band… I need to say the singer is a hottie" I couldn't help but blush at the tech. She continued her job and squirted a clear gel over my abdomen which made me shiver. My butterflies were going into over drive.

 _Annie it'_ _s not cancer, you_ _'_ _re not dying. You are fine. Perfectly fine._

She pushed the wand on my belly and it was tender, the pressure wasn't pleasant. Ok it was hurting.

 _Fucking owie!_

"So according to your blood work Annie, you're pregnant. Now this ultrasound will determine how many weeks gestation you are and an estimated due date."

" _Pregnant!_ _"_

I can't be pregnant. The guys won't… oh my God. My body involuntarily began to shake.

"Ma'am I need to to stay still so I can get correct images of your baby."

 _Baby!_

I tried my best to stay still but a small sob wouldn't stop. The doctor was moving his mouth possibly speaking but I couldn't register what he was saying. My eyes closed and my hearing occupied my head with a constant clear beep, beep, beep of my heart monitor. This changed in an instant to the whooshing sound of my baby's heart beat and my eyes flicked open.

"Oh my God. I'm pregnant?!" My eyes flicked open and traveled down to my belly. How could I be pregnant? I don't look or feel pregnant.

They are never going to trust me again. He's never to going to trust me.

"So dear when was your last menstrual period?" I tried my best to remember, but I couldn't. I've never tracked my period ever, sometimes it came, other times I didn't see it for months. I never ever thought about it. My mom was hopeless when it came to help. Ethan was so helpful, he was the person who gave me my first box of Tampax and showed me how to use them. It was one of my best-friends, not my own mother. When they didn't come regularly, Ethan didn't know and told me to go to a doctor. Of course I should have followed his advice but I didn't want any of the doctors to see the bruising or cuts over my body. I didn't want to get sent away.

"I've never had a regular period. Honestly I remember having one just before my birthday in September and don't know maybe the new year. Or later… No, no it was Christmas. Yeah Christmas." I crinkled my face completely lost.

"No need to worry." She continued to push quite firm on my abdomen. The image on the screen was clear. There was a little baby growing inside of me.

"Now that is one strong heartbeat. 147 beats per minute. Just lovely." She turned and smiled. It was nice seeing a friendly female face, something which is quite foreign to me in general.

Maybe I'm sort of pregnant?

"Ok with the measurements, she's pushing 19 weeks and 2 days. Oh honey you have the best figure." She rubbed her belly. "I'm 23 weeks and I look massive to you." I could see she most certainly has a defined baby bump.

Resting on my elbows I looked down to my waist. I had a slight bump. To anyone it would be nothing but here I was thinking I had a tumor or some kind of second uterus exploding in my belly. That tightness, and stretching… it's a fucking baby. Ok so I'm fully pregnant!

Oh my god I'm pregnant. She is 19 weeks. _She!_

"Hang on did you say _she_?" I choked on the lump in my throat.

"Clear as day. There are no testies only folds." She pointed out on the grainy screen. "Still there is a possibility that it's incorrect but look your baby is definitely female." She smiled.

It was when I looked closer at the screen and she zoomed out, I could see the majority of a baby profile. My daughter. Somewhere under my rib-cage my heart melted and found the sixth part to my puzzle. Ethan, Luke, Elliot, Christian, Me and now a baby. My daughter. I have fallen head over heels in love with that little being on the screen.

Tears dripped from my eyes. " _A girl._ " I breathed. "I'm pregnant."

The tech printed off a few pictures. I held these images, memorizing every pixel on the page. It was amazing, all this time I've been pregnant. When I lifted my head the tech was gone.

"Now it seems you are very much pregnant Annie. Almost halfway." Dr Waterhouse explained. He smiled and looked at his medical folder. "Now 19 weeks and 2 days, that puts your estimated due date at October 30th." He then continued to click his pen, write several sentences, and click the pen close again.

Oh my God. Then the worry started.

"Is…. she alright? I've been so sick and not eating. I've had beer and been around smoke. Oh my God!" I sobbed to think if I have done something to her, it's my fault. I'm just as bad as my own monster of a mother. "Have I … hurt her?" I held my hands over my non existent baby bump.

"No, you haven't hurt her. The fluid looked at a safe level, so all this vomiting hasn't affected the baby. It's probably been the source of your illness. Hyperemesis gravidarum. She's been sucking all your nutrients dry. Her heart rate is within a normal range, measurements are perfect. She's was moving around, and quite active on the screen which is great to see. Annie can you feel her?"

For a while I've had butterflies in my stomach, just light flutters. I thought it was anxiety levels affecting my stomach. Not a fucking baby!

"I'm not sure… Flutters? Maybe for four weeks or more, at first it was my indication I was going to be sick." I pulled up my t-shirt again and placed my palms directly where she lies. "I can't feel anything?"

"That's perfectly fine. Every pregnancy is different and depending on the placement of the placenta."

"Placenta?"

"Woahhh, easy there momma." Dr Waterwatsit held up his hand to stop me. "Annie one step at a time, I think it maybe wise to find a OBGYN and a primary care physician when you get home."

" _Ahhh_ … We travel in a bus. That's home."

"Well it maybe wise to find a stationary home, in less than five months you will have your daughter in your arms. I think a strong helpful recommendation would be sign up for prenatal classes, so you can get the lingo, maybe bring the father along too."

I could only gulp and my palms grew sweaty. The father. _SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!_

"Now Annie, when I first told you about the pregnancy your reaction wasn't overly positive."

"I was just… shocked. That's all… I'm scared shitless Dr Waterwatsit."

"Waterhouse, hang on how about just call me Nafe."

"Nafe. When I saw her on the screen, my world changed. I think it's going to change even more soon." I could only think of the reaction the guys will make when I tell them.

"So it's a shock, but are you … happy about this news?"

"In all honesty, I'm not thrilled about this Nafe. But…I'm not unhappy about it. Does that even make sense? I can't even process the information now." I laughed at myself.

"No that makes perfect sense." He continued to write in his medical folder. By the looks of it he was checking off a few boxes. "So why is this such a surprise? No boyfriend or partner?"

"Nafe, I'm twenty-one. I've… had sex totaling one time." I erected my index finger making my point clear. "Fucking once! The guy… the father. He doesn't even remember it happening. Oh God when I tell him that I'm pregnant… with his baby…" I closed my eyes taking a deep breath. "He's going to go… He's going to lose it. Thermal nuclear."

"Do I need to call the police, are you in danger?"

"Umm… no. He would never hurt me. I'm sure he will yell… but never hurt me physically."

"Is he still—"

"Part of my life. Oh Nafe he's part of my everything. My whole existence is because of him. He saved me." I lowered my head and glared at the images of my baby. "I don't know what the fuck am I going to do?"

Nafe was going to continue with our conversation but it was cut short as the door to my room swung open and in flew my four guys. It happened so quickly like a stampede of rhinoceroses forcing their way into each corner of the small room. Instantly I tucked the images under my sheets to hide all evidence. Suddenly Ethan was holding my hand and carefully stroking my IV. Elliot was pushing Nafe away from my side so he could be closer to me.

"Fuck, Annie." Ethan stroked my hair, and observing my IV, and the cardiac monitor. He was heartbroken, as his tears were falling. My best friend was so upset. "Fuck… please tell me you're ok. It's not cancer. Fuck Annie please tell me it's not cancer?"

I looked towards Nafe, hoping he doesn't spill my news.

"Shit Sis, we drove like a maniac to get here once Javi told us." Elliot rubbed my chewed back nails. "You've been nervous, you've chewed off all your nails. Shit we are all really sorry Sis that we weren't here sooner… but—"

"What's wrong with you Ana?" Christian stood at the end of my bed. He was holding Nafe's medical folder. My notes… He turned to Nafe staring waiting for his answer. I was praying, praying to God again. _Please do not tell them. Please do not tell him._

He cleared his throat. Nafe almost looked a little intimidated, almost taking his breath once he realized who the men were in the room. Yeah I know the feeling doc.

"Ahh gentlemen." They all looked up at him instantly. "Annie here came in severely dehydrated. We have been giving her fluids, electrolytes, broad spectrum antibiotics because of an elevated temperature via IV. Some anti-nausea medication has helped ease her vomiting and currently for the last thirty minutes it's been under control."

My heart monitor started to accelerate, and I could see the screen flashing. _Please don_ _'_ _t tell them, please don_ _'_ _t tell him._

"Annie, you need to breathe and relax. It's ok." Ethan cooed at me and it eased my anxiety briefly.

"So we have run blood work. We are still aren't exactly sure what's going on. Her iron levels are a little low which could explain the tiredness. Some other levels are drastically high, but further investigation is needed. So it looks like she will be staying overnight for observations."

Ethan had tears running down his face, and trying to hide them as quick as they fell. "You don't know what's wrong with … _Annie_?" He's voice was small and it almost made me cry for the big guy.

Nafe only shook his head at Ethan and then to the others.

"Well don't stand here looking at the sick girl, get those fucking results! Don't stare at us! _FUCK!_ " Ethan yelled.

"Eth!" I grabbed his hand and held it tight. "What are you doing? He hasn't done anything wrong. Just let him do his job. Look I'm already feeling heaps better. _Psst_ I haven't spewed in half an hour so that's a really good thing. The doctor even said so." I winked at him and gave a big kiss on his cheek.

"But Annie… I want to know that you're alright. I can't lose you. We can't lose you." He lent his head to mine using a much softer voice.

…..

"Sorry gentlemen," A short stocky night nurse announced "It's time to go, this little lady needs her rest. Don't worry you can see her first thing tomorrow morning at 7:30am. No earlier." Her lips pursed.

Four pairs of eyes glared at the poor nurse.

"Umm I don't think so nursey." Ethan said.

"We're staying." Luke murmured.

"I ain't goin' no where tonight." Elliot wiggled his butt in the most uncomfortable chair ever invented and finally Christian announced "We are not leaving her side, ever." His eyes never left my face.

The nurse groaned and walked out almost slamming the door behind her.

 _See this is the shit I need to deal with daily! At least I_ _'_ _m not on the receiving end this time._

I looked at each and every person in the room. My best-friends, my protectors, my brothers and my loves.

"I was so scared Sis." Luke whispered to me from the other side of the room.

"Why didn't you see a doctor earlier? I know you hate doctors, but… you could have died." Ethan tried his best to keep it together.

"Don't worry, It's nothing. I'm totally fine now. I don't know why you are all fussing so much." I pulled on my sheets.

"Nothing? Are you serious?"

My head flicked to the far corner of the room and Christian was fuming. He can be a hot head at times but never around me.

"Why Annie… you've put your life at risk!" Urgently he stood, gripping the arms of the seat he was only seconds early was sitting on.

" _Why?_ " He yelled.

Suddenly out of no where he threw the chair to the wall. It made me jump and my heart monitor began to beep faster and faster.

"Fuck Chris, will you ease up. You're scaring the shit out of her. I think she's had a big enough scare tonight. Lets not make it two." Ethan tried to hold his arms down.

Christian was angry, A side I haven't seen since I was little. In the power of rage he pushed Ethan, causing him to stumble and he aimed for the wall. The result, a large indent in the shape of his fist.

It worried me how upset he is. It's the beginning… the beginning of thermal nuclear. _Shit._ It all went quiet and all we could hear was Christian's heavy breathing and the sound of my cardiac monitor.

Elliot started to pace the room, four strides and then he had to turn and pace another four strides. Ethan held my hand and Luke was looking nervous and twitchy probably in need of a drink.

" _Christian_ " I whispered his name, I needed him close to me. It was impossible for me to go to him. I was attached to the drips and monitors. I needed him to hold me close more than anyone else.

With a large sigh he walked to the edge of the bed and Ethan moved. He slipped off his shoes and made his way under the covers.

"I'm alright… don't worry." I whispered into his chest, smelling the sweet scent of Christian and he trembled back "I'm here. I'm always here."

He wrapped his strong arms around me, "I'm sorry Ana, Baby Girl. I'm so sorry." I couldn't speak and I felt like I was six almost seven again as he rocked me to sleep in his arms.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **Ok a few people suspected she was pregnant, then most second guessed themselves saying she "must" be a virgin so not possible. Only one reader truly got it correct "eminshall07" for the win!**

 **Now most of you have been asking, "So when is conception?" Ch15 - Sunday. Can you last that long? I hope so. :-D  
**

 **I post teasers 24 hours before I update on my fb page (see my profile for links) and the fb group - FSOG Fanfic Followers.**

 **Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns.**

 **See you on Thursday for "** **Chapter** **14 - Birthday Wish, Birthday Kiss Pt I" (CPOV: from the past, the guys are organising Annie's 21st birthday party. Of course C is putting his feelings on the line.)**

 **missmusicteach**


	15. Ch 14: Birthday Kiss, Birthday Wish Pt I

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER** **FOURTEEN** **:** **BIRTHDAY KISS, BIRTHDAY WISH PT I**

 _ **Christian**_

"Hey Christian, check out these." Elliot's dumb ass face lit up the dark room. He hobbled over shaking the large parcels between his legs, implying they were extra large erect phallics. You guessed it Luke was only a few seconds behind executing the same act but with the adding ramming the important parcel into Elliot's ass.

I shook my head. _Breathe Christian, breathe. Everything will be fine._

All four of us were drastically trying to make a meaningful effort to surprise Ana. Currently I was on a mission as _Head Director of Organization_ , for _Project 21st_. I'm stressing, thirty-one now with grey hairs. It's been torturous planning this event for the past four weeks all in secret, which has been a challenge itself. As always anything for Ana requires perfection. I never realized organizing an event could be so time consuming. I'm bewildered how Ana keeps on top of everything for us for guys and that fucker Jackson Hyde.

"Oh fuck stop that shit Ell. _God_ , Luke no! Just open up the damn things so we can get it set up. You got the four, right?"

Luke and Elliot were on errands duty. You know keeping it simple for them, I gave an easy job that they couldn't fuck up, collecting the four balloon arrangements especially ordered for the event. _Flames._ One each representing a member of the band. They will surround the table as Ana cuts her fancy birthday cake. They are over six feet high and realistically for only thin plastic and helium, they cost a fortune. It better be worth the fucking effort.

Luke was given a pair of scissors by the manager of the club. I was praying to God that he wasn't going to stab them. Everything was crossed.

"A simple snip here, and no further a-do. Ta-da!" Luke announced to myself and Elliot.

" _Oh my God!_ " Mortified my mouth dropped open.

Elliot and Luke held their bellies laughing to the point tears were pouring out of their eyes, and snot clumping out of their nostrils.

"Quick someone get a mop, I think I'm going to piss myself because I'm… laughing so fucking hard." Elliot snorted.

"What the fuck is this? Are these octopus cock and balls?" I yelled.

"Holy shit man - they look crap. We are so in the dog house if Annie sees this." Luke chuckled.

In front of me were long slender red, orange and yellow balloons supposedly to be twisting towards the sky representing flames and three large red balloons at the base. It most definitely no flames, they were octopus junk. _Shit!_

"Get rid of it. Now!" I screamed. _Fuck Fuck Fuck_. "Okay." I let out a heavy breath, wiping my sweaty brow. "I have a plan B, but we need to work fast. Annie will be here…" Quickly flicking a peak to the time on my watch "In under two hours," I panted. We need to get this shit organized pronto.

"Two Hours? Are you sweating? What the fuck is wrong with you, we have a shit load of time. Why are you panicking? It's just a party, Annie's not going to care at all. Breathe Bro." Elliot gripped my shoulder.

"But…. _Fuck._ Come on, help me with these pink and black balloons." I groaned. I need shit done now.

…..

Over ninety minutes later, we had successfully inflated close to three hundred balloons, some with glitter and confetti inside, others were held with a single black ribbon.

I'm sure everything would have been completed quicker if it wasn't for the two idiots with me.

" _I'm a leprechaun…"_ Luke sang away.

" _I'_ _m a mother fucking munchkin_ _…_ _bitch!_ _"_ Elliot laughed.

These comments continued for quite sometime with their distorted high pitch voices. Let's say I needed to retrieve another helium tank after Elliot and Luke use the majority of the first for their own entertaining pleasure.

So Ethan the lucky bastard was with Ana and I was with the two morons. At least if Ethan was with me I could have a meaningful conversation, but oh well the sacrifices we make. Honestly I wanted to go with her, but he spoke up before I had the chance. In a way if I was in close proximity with Ana for that length of time no doubt I would be a walking hard-on. Shit I have a semi just thinking about her within my dick radar.

Of course I was the least bit jealous over Ethan. I'm not even dropping an ugly face pout or shit, you know not even a smidgen amount. Fuck… ahh yeah, ok I'm a fucking liar. I was completely jealous over my band-brother.

Now I am rather interested what exactly Ethan is doing with her, because they have been gone close to seven hours. What could anyone do for over seven hours? Nope I retract that. I can think of many things I could do with Ana for seven hours… cue boner… _FUCK!_

"Luke!" Elliot hollered where he and Javi (after he finally made an appearance, _fucker._ ) were helping with the oversized gift table. It was an epic explosion of black and pink metallic confetti. "Put the fucking booze down Luke. Get off your ass and help us out man. You haven't done anything since the balloons, which you didn't do much anyways. We have been busting our balls and what have you been doing… _drinking_?"

"I see you've got it covered." He swirled his Jim Beam in the air. "Oh look… all done, there is nothing left to do." He shrugged his shoulders. Luke's longer hair at the front flopped forward as he lowered his head. It looked like he hadn't shaved in a good few days. Really he looked like shit.

Luke was right. Everything was done. Perfectly, which surprised me.

The stainless steel bench was holding out with all the extra weight of Ana's favorite meals. Various burgers stuffed with huge beef patties and cheese, thick steak fries, every candy in a shade of pink and not to mention—

"Elliot get your fucking mitts off those!"

…Dr Pepper cup cakes.

The bartender was making sure that he had enough liquor to handle a shit load of rockers and the very drinkaholic Luke. The gift table was loaded with presents of all shapes and sizes from the crew and the various other bands currently touring with us. Each gift was clearly wrapped in pink. The plan B balloons looked a treat, the banner was hanging perfectly (ok maybe a little off center but I don't have time to fix it now) and the cake was in the fridge.

Sweet. Now all we needed was the birthday girl.

With the alcohol calling my name and I couldn't help but imitate Luke's actions. My arm lent over the bar and grabbed the first bottle my fingers could find. I inhaled a large gulp refusing to take the much needed breath I wanted. I just drank. Pulling the bottle back I noticed it was Drambuie. Fucking great whiskey fucks me up. Tonight I needed the numbness. The feeling to forget how much I yearn for her.

A month ago I had realized that I wasn't just craving after my little Annie. I was full blown in love with the girl, I mean woman. She's a full blown woman now. One hundred percent. I thank Ray making me realize my inner turmoil.

" _You still pining over this woman? What have I told you again, with these late night conversations. Either do something about it or move on with your life. If you stay any longer you will become stagnant and die, tear yourself apart as well as the friends around you. This Annie must be worth it, because it_ _'_ _s been years._ _"_

" _A life time,_ _"_ _were the only three words I could manage to say._

Either way, I mean it, I truly love her. And if she showed one little hint that she felt even a little of what I felt, then I would jump through the flames which surround her and make her mine, us, we, lovers.

Days turned into weeks and she hasn't given a eyelash flutter or flick of her hair. That's what chicks do when they like someone? Right? Shit I'm lost. I need Ethan's chick whisperer skills. So Ana has given no indication that she even likes me more than a friend, let alone a fucking lover. So I keep holding back… I don't want to be kicked in the balls and ruin the best friendship I've ever had. But I really want more.

Two things. The head on my shoulders and heart were in agreement regarding Ana. You love her, but just hold back, wait. The head between my legs not so much. My dick has been throbbing for sex, I feel like I'm turning into the sixteen year old Elliot. What am I fucking saying… just I'm turning into the dog on heat Elliot. It's been close to twelve months since I've had sex properly. Properly meaning with another person. This would have to be a record or something for any rocker. Almost a year refusing any kind of women, models or groupies. Of course this meant essentially a year getting hard when Ana was in the same room. But my God… my right hand was getting callused from all the jacking. It was essentially getting to the ridiculous point I needed to start to lifting weights to make my arms symmetrical again. _I'_ _m such a sick fucker._

As I was stirring the bottle of Drambuie in front of my face was when our head of security Jason Taylor gave the two thumbs up that our special lady wasn't far away.

The club was far from bursting, but we knew Ana didn't want a full house of randoms. All three of Lithium Spring's members had shown up. They adored Ana, but Javi kept wanting his paws in her sweet cherry pie. Again that fucker was making me jealous. Shit every thing with a dick was making me suspicious of their intentions around her. Jackson had come which I was amazed after the last intervention with Ana's lawyer. Now we invited him out of respect being our manager, not because we had actually wanted him there. Second thought Ana is going to be pissed. Shit, I might have to put Carrick's number on speed dial tonight. See I can't even get that right. The two bands _Star-Scar_ and _The Urge_ were also in attendance, plus the road crew that had been with us for close to five years now. So there were around forty people which only eight were female. One of which was _Lizzie Thayer_ , fuck.

The bartender darken the room and turned on the UV black lights. Elliot ran around like a fool trying to light the candles cussing every few seconds. We all gathered around the large mirror cake. It gave the impression there were marbled flames with a hint of pink. Burning Embers with Ana making her mark between the flames.

We heard the door creak open and Luke cued us to start singing Happy Birthday.

 _Happy Birthday to you_ _…_

"Holy Shit?!" Ana exclaimed when she saw our efforts all around her. Instantly her hands cupped her mouth in shock. My sweet Baby Girl's eyes grew bright and glassy. Her smile was evident even with her hands covering her face. " _Oh My God! Guyzzz!_ " She called out as the lengths of the fingers tabbed her tiny tears of joy.

What surprised us was the beauty before us. Ethan not as much, he was smiling like a proud older brother. It explains why it took over seven hours to get ready. She had colored her hair an ombre of reds and pinks, which had been beautifully layered. It was fucking gorgeous. More makeup than I've ever seen on the woman, smoky eyes which were making my cock strain against the zipper. The black dress, even though her arms were covered, two long slits up each thigh and her breasts… oh God the heels. I haven't seen her in anything other than fluffy slippers or sneakers, maybe the odd boot, but NEVER seven inch heels!

 _I'M DEAD! FUCK!_

I tried to readjust myself possibly for the third time as we were finishing the birthday song and she openly laughed standing in front of her large cake. Her hair was glowing in the candle light, she was the Phoenix reborn yet again. My Ana. My beautiful Baby Girl.

Right away I pushed Ethan aside.

"Easy Chris." He chortled.

I needed my arms wrapped around her petite waist, people in the way will only be casualties. I didn't care. My lips went to her soft cheek once the song had finished.

"Happy birthday Baby Girl. Make a wish." _Fuck wish for me, wish for me, wish for us!_ I silently hoped.

A spitting almost hissing sound broke my attention and grip from around Ana's waist.

" _Psst_ should we tell her that there are only twenty, because I broke one?" Elliot whispered. I wouldn't be surprise if Ana heard the whole thing. Luke slapped his palm to his forehead and then the same palm flicked the back of Elliot's head. Honestly some days I don't know how we are related.

She wasn't fazed by the incident and gracefully her hand dragged her hair to one side. Ana bent over just enough to blow out all twenty-one (really twenty) candles. Once all were smothered by her breath, our muso friends douse her with large chunks of glitter and pink confetti. Her laugh was infectious. I stood close waiting for her to come to me. It was never an issue when she was little, but over the last few years the distance has been this endless tug of war.

 _Please Ana come to me._ I prayed hoping the big Guy would help me out.

She blew a large puff of air to her pink bangs and confetti jumped creating a halo. She turned glaring at me. Her hesitation was a little too long, but out of no where she lunged towards me and her arms engulfed my large torso. "Thank you! This was all your doing, wasn't it?" I honestly think I blushed and for the first time in years I was embarrassed. She kissed my cheek hard then ruffed her face into my neck. "I love… _it_. Thank you Christian." She whispered on my skin.

"Any time. Anything for my Baby Girl."

My face fell into her hair, honey and vanilla filled my nose. Our faces were eye to eye. My stare admired and memorized her face down to every single imperfection to the little freckles on her nose. I was so close to her mouth, those plump lips… but I couldn't. I fucking slid her hair off her left shoulder to blow the confetti and glitter from her neck and I let her go.

 _I fucking let her go. I chickened out. I couldn_ _'_ _t even kiss her! FUCK FUCK FUCK!_

When she had finally hugged Ethan, Ana willingly bounced into Javi's opened arms and let him kiss her on the cheek and a sneaky lip smack on her exposed neck. He tried to give her a small peck on the lips but her fingers landed on his. Something which startled me, since there was no cock block for me. I couldn't help myself. I needed to numb my feelings and pulled my bottle of Drambuie back out and started drinking. Fucking chugging that shit.

…..

"Fuck I hate wearing dresses!" Ana flapped the length of her black dress back and forth. After a few shots, she most definitely was on the buzzing end of the spectrum. She didn't realize as she lifted her dress I caught a glimpse of those pink lace panties. They will forever me etched into my memory.

"And I fucking hate heels even though they look so hot! Ethie…" She whined.

"Yes Sis they look fucking _amazeballs_! Don't take them off Baby Girl" Ethan pouted at Ana and there was my pounding chest getting all jealous again.

"Shit Ethie I can't move in them properly… I need to dance!" In two swift kicks, each of her heels went flying across the dance floor and Ana continued to dance the night away barefoot.

"Oh hello Birthday Girl!" Jackson Hyde waved into Ana's face.

"Jack, just leave her… it's her birthday for fuck sakes." Ethan gritted his teeth. I could see in his eyes he wanted to punch him and somehow I restrained myself from doing so too.

"Oh _Annie_ … hot stuff… show something for this old guy." His voice purred and I felt ill.

Without warning, the right hook from Ana's fist directly met Jackson Hyde's right eye. Now this was entertainment!

"Now address me either as A or Wilks… _fucker_!" She dusted off her hands and headed towards the bar I guess for a much needed shot.

Moments like this makes me think we need to move on from Jackson and get someone better, but who would ever want to deal with all our shit but get on with us with a house on fire? I can't think straight now. This can be dealt with tomorrow.

I was rather impressed Lizzie kept the inner bitch at bay, hanging around Javi making the evening reasonable other than Jackson's incident.

I needed to leave. I was done. So I grabbed my bottle, found a quiet corner and called Ray.

" _Hey Ray_ _…_ _can you tell me the story of your princess again. I_ _'_ _m not feeling the best tonight._ _"_

" _Always_ _…_ _I guess the party didn_ _'_ _t go well._ _"_

" _It went as expected. I_ _'_ _m a fucking chicken._ _"_

" _Well twenty-two years ago, I met the woman of my dreams_ _…"_

* * *

 **AN:**

 **Don't forget three updates this week.**

 **I post teasers 24 hours before I update on my fb page (see my profile for links) and two fb groups - FSOG Fanfic Followers and FSoG Fanfic Obsessed.**

 **Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns.**

 **See you on Sunday for "** **Chapter** **15 - Birthday Wish, Birthday Kiss Pt II." (CPOV: Christian has a dream…)**

 **missmusicteach**


	16. Ch 15: Birthday Kiss, Birthday Wish PtII

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER** **FIFTEEN** **:** **BIRTHDAY KISS, BIRTHDAY WISH PT II**

 _ **Christian**_

If you want the honest truth, buzzing with alcohol is underrated. After my Drambruie chug at Ana's birthday I never stopped. I was half wasted constantly for the least four months after that. As soon as my feelings would seep to the surface I would tame them with a slosh of booze. I tried my best to keep up my stage presence but it was a challenge. The media never made mention so I never worried. All I was doing was removing my problems through rocket fuel. I would drink whatever I could get my hands on. Beer, vodka, rum I didn't care. At one point I took a swig of Luke's Jim Beam when he was sleeping.

I could feel the alcohol seeping through my pores and it affected so many aspects of my life but the positive was I didn't feel which was an improvement. It made contemplate the possibly why Luke is so fucked up with booze. It's over a woman, it couldn't be anything else.

Over the four months we went through eight different states. A new city every few days. Today we arrived in city number thirty-one and a whole day ahead of schedule, due to a snowstorm in Nampa that had been bad enough to shut Idaho's state borders. Of all places we were in Lithium Spring's home turf. I'm sure Javi is waiting in some dark alley ready to pounce Ana or she's already in his bed in his huge mansion. _Fucker!_

To make things interesting we had arrived to a heavy storm in Seattle. The thunder was faint but I'm sure the lightning wasn't too far away. The whole north-west was on a storm alert.

Ana's fear of heavy storms made me dream of her. I had lost count of the times she climbed through my window. It would have to be in the hundreds. Almost seven years she spent crawling into my room escaping the belting rain, flashes and rumbles in the sky. God she was fleeing Mother Nature herself and that woman she called Momma. I loathed that fucked up trailer park, there was so much hate and devastation but when there is pain, love comes your way and that's where I met the most important woman in my life. _Anastasia_.

Of course I dream of Ana constantly and anyway I can, but tonight the dream was particularly vivid almost lifelike. It was the double-edged sword, exceeding all pleasurable expectations but waking the next morning to be alone. I never got the girl.

I had several guitars in my room to practice alone and naked with a bottle of something by my side. The name of the poison never mattered only the burn. Always Ana was nearby. Tonight were photos Eth kindly captured from her 21st. The memory of the two slits up each thigh… Fuck me that dress. My breath staggered, to the memory of that night. Lowering my head admiring her beauty it was disappointing she hasn't worn one since, not even a hint of a skirt. Just the thought of her in anything with easy access made me hard. She was exquisite that night. A flaming goddess.

My cock pulsed, brushing the back of my acoustic Gibson as the need for release was overwhelming. My left hand gripped the body of the guitar and the calloused right restrained my rigid cock.

"Hold on buddy." I mumbled to the erection in my fist.

Lifting my face I was shocked when the sexual fantasy herself appeared in my hotel suite. Fuck, she was alluring and all mine. The evening light highlighting her hair and porcelain complexion. The colors weren't vivid as her birthday party rather pastel pinks and peaches. All sweet and innocent. Interestingly her feet were bare as she curled her toes into the plush carpet. She was nervous. _There_ _'_ _s no need Baby Girl._

This was completely fine, even though I was hoping for those seven inch pink heels. It didn't matter, my imagination was doing fine showing more skin. It was highly unusual for me to conjure an Ana wearing pajamas, I've been accustom to her wearing little if nothing at all. So this was different on every scale, a highly unique fantasy.

I'm far from complaining as I stroked my cock as my hand gripped harder. A deep groan bellowed from within. _Oh God I need her._

The six strings vibrated over the tone hole as I placed my Gibson on the floor, pre-come glistened as it hung from my cock. With a swift sweep my thumb captured the juices trailing them down my tongue. Moaning over my sexual seasoning, I pulled out my hand to reach for my lady. "The wait has been unbearable tonight… every fucking night. Come here _Baby_." I patted the mattress beside me. The craving was evident and my nails scratched the cotton sheet.

Ana didn't stumble or delay my instruction as the bed dipped as she sat next to me. I held her hand, turning to inspect her palm. My fingers played over the many creases on her skin, her breathing staggered and longed. Moving her hand around my aching cock, my hand supported hers as the feeling of her silky skin surrounding mine was pure bliss. I was guiding her to my pleasure and wants by moving her hand up and twisting down to the base of my burning cock.

"Oh God _Baby._ Can you feel it? The need. The want." My voice groaned as she continued to stimulate my ache in her hand. I was falling for this wonderful pleasure. Her command.

Supporting my weight I lent back on my hands behind me, lifting my hips to the motion of her hand movements.

" _Christian_ … Is this ok?" She innocently questioned. She wasn't confident but she was unconditionally flawless in her maiden skills.

" _Ohhh_ , _Baby_ this beyond perfect." My breathing labored and I knew I was getting close, but I refused to come before I enchanted what laid between her thighs.

This vision of Ana was innocent and entirely pure. I put my hand over hers again and stopped any more movement. Instantly I wanted to teach her the skills and the art of love making until first light of dawn. It was obvious she couldn't be that innocent in real life. She was a firecracker and a good one at that. Ana made me jealous on a daily basis while connected to the hip, possibly the pelvis with Ethan. Of course there was also Javi. Magic fingers himself, the fucking bass player from Lithium Springs, he always finds it difficult to keep his hands off my Ana.

Not wanting to think of either of those fuckers, I kissed my dream Ana. She tasted of warm milk and Earl Grey tea. It might have thrown me off for a minute if I hadn't been smashed before this wonderful dream. But under the delicate bergamot taste was her Ana flavor… sweet vanilla. I'm sure I hadn't tasted anything so sweet in my life and I told her so.

"Mmm, vanilla. My favorite, _baby_." I whispered over her lips. My hand fisted her long curls pulling her head back to expose her neck. "So fucking sweet."I grasped my grip harder in her hair, nipping her bare skin.

" _Please._ " She trembled.

Her eagerness delighted me and my lips twitched over hers. This time I kissed her full of heat and tingling passion. I needed her and soon. Cupping the soft skin of her cheeks, I gazed at her little freckles over the bridge of her nose in the dim light. She was so fucking beautiful and the squeeze in my chest stirred for a split second. It was breaking my heart that it wasn't real. To break from my worry, I kissed her again and again moving my lips down her jaw grazing my teeth over her sweet flesh.

Without question she laid back on the large bed. I couldn't have her in her clothes so it was a treat removing each item with the utmost care as her skin shivered yearning for my touch.

My lips continued down her arms reaching her ink. I held her wrist carefully in my hand as my tongue outline the linked pinkie fingers tattoo. It was madness but I wish it was my name branded on her instead. Property of CHRISTIAN GREY. FOREVER HIS. I would kindly reciprocate with her name tattooed wherever she pleased. My lips moved further down her chest, circling her navel and on to her trimmed brunette curls. "Fuck baby, this is sexy as hell." I sniffed inhaling her creamy vanilla scent between her thighs.

This eager Ana squirmed without hesitation and spread her legs wide for me, offering her sweet goods as an open platter whatever I wanted. I was harder than I could ever remember being in my life. It was all down to this mirage before me. My Ana. I wasn't going to fuck this woman, I was going to make love to her tonight. Even though a dream, my body was getting what it wanted and my cock was straining, as the veins pulsed around my rod.

" _Christian_ , I need you," She squirmed underneath me.

A small taste, a sample of this Goddesses juices was needed. My fingers slowly parted her folds and my index finger made a path from her clit down to her entrance. She shuddered at my gentle touch. "So sensitive, easy _baby_." Admiring her juices glistening in the dim light my tongue was restless and thirsty for her nectar.

I hurried my mouth over her sex. It was a menagerie, a cocktail of sweet aromas and exotic fruits. My tongue lapped up every drop. Her hips soared and back curved as my tongue rolled around her sweet bud. Ana's fingers dug into my hair pushing my face deeper. The brunt force was a surprise which I loved.

"Divine, baby." Drawing a deep breath, my tongue cleaned her arousal from my lips. "Delicious." I smiled and she tried to cover her blushing face. "Never be embarrassed of this." My hand cupped her pussy.

Leaning over Ana, I wanted to share her delectable flavor to ease her blushing distress. She stilled for a moment under me as the first hint of her cocktail hit her own tongue, once relaxed I knew just like me she enjoyed her the menagerie.

Our bodies where touching skin to skin and I released a guttural groan. Rolling her on top, she straddled my waist, legs bucking under my ass. This was what I regularly dreamed, her riding me into the morning light. I was impatient and need my fill, but I needed her to say the words, the words I could never express in reality.

"Please say that you're mine." I moaned as my hands roamed over her soft breasts. "Say it. Mine, _Baby_."

"Oh God Christian, completely yours!"

When her pussy engulfed the entirety of my cock with a gentle glide, it shook my soul with how tight and agonizingly wet her sex was. It was annoying mildly stretching her inch by inch to only be hit by a barrier. I paused. It was the realization that I was dreaming that I was Ana's first. She is a virgin.

" _Mine_ ," I growled thrusting past the thin wall. " _Fuuuck_ , Baby." Gripping her hips I plunged her sex faster and faster to try and wish away my tears. There was so much emotion behind our love making, I don't want it to end.

She was hungry for my cock and rocked her body. "Sweet baby Jesus, easy. I'm going to blow, way too soon if you keep that. Slow… and steady." I was thankful for her slowing pace. It has been over a year since I last been inside any woman, so the challenge to last is great.

She leaned forward, kissing me while her erected nipples brushed over my chest. My hands cupped and molded her ass. Her pussy dripped wetter with need, the need for me. When she whimpered my name I gave what she wanted. Gently the tips of my fingers, rolled over her clit. She called out " _Christian_ " as she rocked back and forth. The vice around my cock was pure heaven with each glide up and down my shaft.

She was close and I thanked God that I was holding back, possibly the orgasm of the century. My fingers danced, at an increasing pace over her bud and I felt her body convulse. Suddenly her sex flooded my cock with her sweet release. It was too good, too much, the power to hold off was breaking.

My fingers restrained her hips as I bucked faster and faster.

"Oh Fucking God!" I screamed as I came hard into her amazing pussy.

Nothing has come close to my dream Ana. Nothing.

Releasing my fingers and her pussy eased, my body was spent, utterly exhausted.

" _Oh baby_ ," I looked into her deep blue eyes. " _Thank-you._ "

I gave one last kiss over Ana's lips as the room grew dark as I closed my eyes to rest.

…..

Yelling out my Baby Girl's name, I jumped sitting up to see the other half of the bed empty.

Falling back onto the lonely king bed, I gripped and twisted the cotton sheets to the point they creaked under the pressure. Clenching my pillow, I pushed it hard over my face as I let out a scream of frustration. _SHIIIIITTTTT!_ It was too easy to continue to rub the dense pillow over my face to suffocate the dull throb in my head. Fuck, yet another amazing dream, the blurry image from last night's fantasy came flooding back. Oh God… virgin Ana… sexy Ana… _My Ana_. Taking a much needed breath I noticed my steady wood agreeing with last night's memory. _Fuck me I want more!_

After two bottles of sparkling water and a long icy shower I made my way out the door to only be bombarded by Eth.

"Annie." He panted, "Well she's …" His brow creased as he was trying to mime the rest of his conversation. It was when I gave the single word reply _What?_ A concerned look washed his face.

"Chris, she's not acting herself. Come on, I'll show you." With no further information he dragged me all the way to the lobby's restaurant _Fifty's_.

There she was, sitting alone nursing a tea cup between her fingers. With all the power I possibly had left with this bitch of a hangover throbbing my skull, I withheld from kissing her. _She_ _'_ _s not yours Christian_. I needed to keep reminding myself, in your dreams it's affirmative but reality is a big fat negative. Okay.

The empty sugar packets were plentiful surrounding her cup. When Ana continued to overdose her tea with cream until it dribbled over the lip of the cup, it was obvious she wasn't paying attention to her morning hot drink ritual and her immediate surrounding.

Snapping my two fingers in front of her face, hoping to break from her daze. I grinned when she muttered a cuss word or three. _Fuck, Shit, Fucker_. Now there's the Ana I know and love.

Ethan's two large hands rubbed her shoulders I guess to ease what ever is on her mind, but it was when I began to rub circles on her right palm she flinched and pulled it back.

"What did you do to her?" Ethan hissed, giving me the stink eye.

"Absolutely nothing!" My hands rose showing my innocence. "I swear!" Why would he ever think I had done anything to hurt Ana. She's my everything for fuck sakes.

"Christian hasn't done anything wrong." She sighed sounding extremely disappointed. I wasn't sure if it was at herself, Ethan or me. It was at this point where the realization hit her as she noticed her overflowing tea cup and the array of empty sugar packets on the table. " _Shit! Oh God!_ "

"Woah… back up a second. What's going on between you two?" Ethan pointed between Ana and I, tapping his other hand on the table.

"What the fuck Eth? Absolutely nothing other than what happens every other day." Ethan wasn't convinced as his brow hooked. "Ok Mister Chick Whisperer, please inform us what your spidey senses are telling you?" I groaned crossing my arms to Ethan, only be interrupted by Ana.

"Sorry guys I have this atrocious headache and had little sleep last night." She whispered again only looking at her glucose filled cup.

Shit, the storm from last night must have kept her up? Why didn't I even think of that?

"I'm sorry Ana. Did the storm get that bad?" I rested my hand over hers but she flinched again as if my skin was burning her own.

"Bad enough." She murmured to herself rubbing her palm.

"Sorry I didn't even hear it?" Which was true, I had a date with an amazing fantasy. Shit, Shit, Shit my pants grew tight at the innocent thought.

It was when her eyes flicked back giving me the international glare _Back the Fuck Off_ I gave Ana her much needed space and walked away.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **I post teasers 24 hours before I update on my fb page (see my profile for links) and two fb groups - FSOG Fanfic Followers and FSoG Fanfic Obsessed.**

 **Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns.**

 **See you on Tuesday for "** **Chapter** **16 - Surprising Four Guys." (APOV: realization hits Annie she needs to tell her guys, but the way they are told isn't the most ideal way…)**

 **missmusicteach**


	17. Ch 16: Surprising Four Guys

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER** **SIXTEEN** **:** **SURPRISING FOUR GUYS**

 _ **Annie**_

Woken by light snoring is such a contrast than sprinting to find the closest bathroom before the crack of dawn. I never thought I would hear the words from my mouth but I am truly thankful waking up in a hospital bed surrounded by the four most important men in my life. For the first time since I could remember Ethan wasn't snoring like a freight train, just the small purrs of a large feline.

My hand was aching and sore where I noticed a small amount of blood creeping up the IV line. My tired eyes followed the path of the tubing to discover the bag of fluid was now depleted. Memories drifted back to the night before and a large smile grew causing a pleasurable tightness of happiness over my face. I'm having a baby. A girl.

The realization hits me. I have to tell him.

 _Fuck!_

Well maybe I could wait a little longer, possibly when we are settled in Lake Tahoe. Maybe next week or possibly next month when we're all relaxed and this hospital visit is long forgotten?

 _Oh come on Annie be realistic, you_ _'_ _re pregnant and soon you won't be able to hide it._

Well deep down the truth fucking hurts. We are all a little fragile when we are met with our fears. Cracks form over the surface and break under the pressure. In my case fucking thunder and lightning. All this mess is due a single stormy weather event where I violated the most important person I love. Yes I admit it, I love him!

I was weak, paper thin… and extremely selfish. I only thought about it when I was alone, mostly in hotel rooms or behind the thick curtain when my guys were on stage. I reached a tipping point and the love I have for Christian was oozing through my pores. It overwhelmed me.

I stole something which wasn't meant for me, taking full advantaged of him and his cock. Oh God! Someone who has cared and made my life for the better. And what did I do? I fucking milked it for all it was worth: abundant kisses, a single act of pleasure and a now a daughter in the making. But I can't deny I loved every fucking second of it.

I'm sure it makes me a bad person, possibly the worst. To this very day over four months later, I'm still hiding it. Still pretended everything is fine even with this heart monitor attached to my chest and a drip in my hand.

 _NO, NO, NO!_

Annie Rose Wilks, get your fucking shit together.

Ok back to reality. I'm thankful last night the nursing staff caved to the demands of Burning Embers. I don't think I would have slept nearly as well if they weren't all close by. Chairs, extra pillows and blankets were made abundant for each of my rockers and their awkward and varying sleeping positions. Luke's small frame curled into the chair with a white cotton blanket engulfing him like a cocoon. Elliot laid flat on the floor, a single pillow under his head and another between his legs. I'm hoping just to hide his regular morning wood rather than humping it during his sleep. My big guy Ethan had his head resting near my shoulder mumbling about some " _fuckwit._ " His large frame was slightly twisted as his torso leaned forward onto my bed. Lastly Christian lounged back in the chair, his head and neck in a least desirable sleeping position.

Looking at the loons before me it made my heart swell, but in all honesty I have no idea how they sleep like the dead. With a happy smile on my lips I reached for the hand that was inches from my own.

Ethan flinched. " _Annie?_ " He surprised me as he was the heaviest sleeper of the four but only a single touch woke him. " _Sis?_ " He fussed, just like every other morning rubbing circles into his eyes and blinking four times to fully wake.

"I'm fine Eth." I patted his hand. "Actually more than fine." I smiled.

I was relieved, stroking the thin tubing embedded in my hand. It's amazing the marvels of medicine. It gave me back my life and showed me another. I wanted to rub my belly but knew it wasn't the right time.

" _Cooffeee_ …" A deep voice bellowed in the room.

"Me too…" Another grumbled.

"Coff coff coffee…" A voice on the floor stuttered.

"I need a really fucking strong black. Probably thick like soup." Finally Christian moaned as he stretch his arms and cracked his probably very stiff neck.

I held up my chains of tubing and wires to the four pairs of eyes. If I were free, I would do the honors by getting each of them their regulars but I was restrained by doctor's orders. Bed rest.

"Don't worry I'll get it." Christian raised his hand like he had just volunteered himself for the task. "Remember I can get my own hot drinks, Ana." He whispered in my ear. "Need anything Baby Girl?" He cupped my face with his hands and all I wanted was to melt down the side of my bed to the laminate floor, just from his single look.

" _Ahh_ …." It took a moment to get my bearings. Taking a much needed gulp I rambled away, "Oh, I'm craving something wet… um I mean a drink. A cold drink. Ohhh a Dr Pepper. That would be nice, thank-you." I smiled with an added little school girl giggle.

"Anything for you, Baby Girl." He looked at each of their eyes for their orders and they each gave the universal rocker head nod in return. Christian turned and kissed me on the cheek. I wish I had turned my head a little so our lips could have met once again.

Christian's phone buzzed and he quickly checked the screen.

"Who's messaging you?" Elliot asked completely puzzled.

"Ray." All the guys gave that single rocker nod again.

As Christian left the room, my eyes followed him until he was out of sight.

 _His lips locked to mine, the taste of the non familiar Drambuie was obvious but under that layer was all Christian his musky aroma._

" _Mmm, vanilla. My favorite, Baby."_ _He moaned over my already swollen lips._

 _I melted as a single heavy breath blew over me. His passion was fiery and possibly combustible._

 _Christian fisted a hand of my curls and tugged my hair back, causing me to expose my neck for his open pleasure._ _"_ _So fucking sweet._ _"_ _He refused to ease only to pull harder on my mane as his mouth assaulted my virgin neck._

" _Please._ _"_ _My voice trembled, unable to control the undeniable feeling between my thighs. I didn_ _'_ _t care if he marked me with his passion. I needed it, I desired Christian_ _'s burning brand._

 _Our lips twitched only parting when we were in need for oxygen. His strong calloused hands cupped my face. Admiring his eyes_ _…_ _shades of grey_ _…_ _they were wild but for once and I wasn_ _'_ _t scared of the storm. My heart is trying its best to escape through its ribbed cage as Christian continued to graze his lips over my skin. I wanted more. I wanted him. I needed him._

The chuckling snort of the large Ethan Kavanagh woke me from my special memory.

"NumNuts." He muttered under his breath. Pursing his lips into a puckering a comical kiss. "You look a little hot there Annie. Have you got a temperature?" Ethan began fanning me, cooling my flustered face.

I replied with my single middle digit standing proud and tall, "Shut the fuck up, Eth!" Why does he need to notice everything!

"Just stating a fact." He laughed, giving a smiling shrug. "Holy moly, you look…Like really good Annie. I haven't see that shade of pink in weeks." Ethan winked.

Oh God, what does he achieve while embarrassing me!

"Fuck off!" and I threw the pillow at his head. I slightly pulled on my IV and it hurt " _Owie._ "

"Jesus, take it easy. We only want you here for one night ok. That's more than enough!" He rubbed my hand. "Sorry Sis." Ethan grimaced.

…..

"So, Eth… who's _Ray_?" I whispered as he held my hand.

"Christian's secret boyfriend." He snickered.

"What!" I may have replied a little too loud. "Huh?"

"Is my little Annie jealous?"

I scoffed "Of course not, never." Shaking my head.

"You have nothing to worry about Sis." He winked.

Wanting to ask more questions, my door swung open and in entered a tall lanky nurse well past her use by date. She wheeled in a large metal table with a my medical notes hooked on the end. The nurse tried her best to weave around my guys and it did cause difficultly with all the large feet. She cussed _twunt_ several times which made me giggle. Eventually she made her way to my bedside.

"And what a beautiful morning sweetie," she whispered. "Guess what?" she continued.

"What? They didn't find anything else, did they?" I was actually starting to get worried from her comment. Maybe there is something wrong with the baby… could there have been a possibility that Dr Waterwatsit…shit I can't remember his—

"Oh no, everything looks fabulous. You get to go home once you're all cleaned up Miss Wilks."

" _Thank God._ " I let out a huge breath.

"Now I need final stats, removal of your IV and cardiac monitor." She rubbed my arm.

She took my blood pressure and temperature, which were all normal.

"Ahh now you boys good with the sight of blood?"

Ethan said "I'm a pro!" Pretending to show his vampire fangs.

Looking at one another Elliot and Luke in unison called " _And we_ _'_ _re out!_ " Laughing at one another. Elliot began to pull his shirt over his eyes, not wanting to witness anything.

"Oh honey, do you want me to hurt the poor girl? I can't concentrate with those things on display." The nurse pointed towards Elliot's chest.

"I can show more if you like." He winked.

The nurse held up one finger, shaking it back and forth. Elliot was quick to pull down his shirt and covered his eyes with his hands and Luke was quick to follow suit.

"You've made a good choice boys." She laughed as she quickly with very little pain removed my IV. Instantly it was the sense of freedom. Next the cardiac stickers were removed with ease and finally she announced the doctor's instructions.

"Okay dear. Please follow up with your personal physician in the next week. Come back when you start feeling faint, unable to keep liquids down, or develop a high fever." She gave several hand outs and handed over along with a smaller piece of paper. "And here is your prescription for vitamins." She smiled.

" _Vitamins?_ " Ethan frowned. "That's it? _Just_ vitamins?"

"Well that is the recommendation, but ensuring she keeps her fluids up, a healthy low fat diet and light exercise is good too." The nurse informed him.

"What? That's it? Impossible!" Elliot demanded, standing besides Ethan.

"She's very sick!" Luke groaned, running his fingers through his messy hair.

I began to panic, "Eth, Ell, Luke…" I was relieved that I was no longer attached to the cardiac monitor. "Guys… I need you—"

The nurse just laughed and I groaned, knowing that she was going to say something to the point of no return. Shit was about to get real. "A baby isn't an illness, boys."

 _SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!_

My trio of men gasp at hearing the word _baby_. They weren't moving and I needed a distraction, maybe if I stabbed the nurse. Um no, what is wrong with me, I can't do that! Fuck me the shit has hit the fan and splashing to all the corners of the room.

"Oh look it's Christian with drinks." I tried to segue failing miserably. I grabbed the bottle of Dr Pepper and began to chug, until I couldn't hold anymore fizz.

 _Ahhh the burn._

"Nurse, there is a total fuck up here, this must be incorrect." Ethan grabbed my medical file and the prescription the nurse had only handed to me seconds before. "I would know these kind of things… I'm the fucking _chick whisperer_." He looked at the file, falling into his chair.

" _Woah_!" Ethan said under his breath, starting at me. "Well this is the shock of the century!" He continued to gawk at me.

"What the fuck is going on?" Christian tried to get someone's attention. In my case I was trying to avoid the elephant in the room. "Is there something wrong?" He voice almost disappeared.

"Annie. Sis? " Ethan was beside me in an instant. "What the fuck Annie? It says right here. hCG levels well over 200, 000. You are _really—_ " His eyes looked down to my belly which my arms tried to hide quickly.

Blowing my bangs from out of my eyes, I knew it was time to face the music. I had wanted to ease into telling them. You know maybe when I was giving birth and still denying it until the kid was eighteen. Fuck it! Now thanks to Ms use-by nurse I have to do it now.

 _SHIT. SHIT. SHIT._

"SURPRISE!" I put on the fake smile, giving my best spirit fingers. Suddenly four pairs of eyes widened. " _I'_ _m pregnant!_ If you didn't get the whole baby code thing," informing Christian. His face grew red and I knew this wasn't good. Fucking great! I glared at the nurse. The nurse muttered _twunt_ a few more times under her breath, suddenly explained she needed to check on other patients on the ward and she got out of there in a hurry. Thank fuck for that!

"Annie, how did this even happen?" Elliot pressed, his eyes looked worried.

I began to laugh. The nervous laughter as if you have just been caught with your hand in the cookie jar.

"You're laughing about this?" Elliot sneered.

I couldn't help it, my body was stuck on auto pilot.

 _Oh my God, Christian._

"Who?" Christian calmly asked.

My eyes zeroed into Christian's soft voice as I couldn't concentrate on his simple question. "Sorry… _What?_ "

Those grey eyes of his have always been able to see directly into my soul now they were on fire. "Who, Annie? _Anastasia!_ Who. Is. The. Father?" His gaze swung straight to Ethan. "Or is it staring me in the face?" He hissed through gritted teeth.

" _What?_ " I couldn't believe it, is he serious? Me and Ethan, please!

"You have got to be kidding Chris!" Ethan raged at him. "You think I would..? Have you lost your fucking mind? She might be sexy as fuck—"

"Aww thanks Eth, but you do realize I can hear everything you are saying about me!" I blushed.

"Ana SHUT UP!" Christian howled. I zipped my mouth instantly, eyes slightly glassy.

"Chris, fuck bro… I would never touch her! She's my best friend and sister you fucking moron!"

"I don't believe you." Christian's voice was ice cold and I knew then and there that he was beyond pissed. Thermal nuclear was inevitable. I wasn't sure how or even why he was so agitated. The rest of the guys were frantic, sure. But Christian was on another level. "I see the way you look at her. I see how she is always clinging to you. Right at the pelvis. You piece of shit, you fucked her!"

"I'll fucking punch it into you, Chris—" I stopped him and all four pairs of eyes turned back to me.

I couldn't breathe. Looking at Christian there was so much rage in his eyes. This was a first he's ever looked at me like that. "Christian, I haven't slept with Ethan… well not in _that_ way." I rolled my eyes. "There is no way he is the father." I held my breath not looking forward to the next question.

"Then who, Ana?" He rested his hands either side of me and pushed his face so close I could actually taste the coffee on his breath. "Who the fuck touched you?!"

I couldn't speak. The smell of the coffee aroma was making my stomach churn.

 _Breathe Annie, Breathe._

I couldn't form the words that he needed me to say. How could I tell him when he was thermal? Why was he so angry? This man who has watched over me almost all my life, who has loved me like a sister, and treated me like I was so special…but he's looking at me as if he could destroy me, kill me with a single touch. I don't understand?

Luke pulled him back. "Stop it, Christian. Can't you see that she is terrified of you right now?"

"Just tell me who!" He spat.

"Why?" A tear broke free. "Why do you have to know so badly?" I sniffed trying my best to hold back the dam which was about to break.

"So I can kill him!" He bellowed.

Tears spilled from my eyes. "What's wrong with you, Christian? Why are you acting like a fucking dick?" I moaned to Christian, while Luke continued to hold him back.

"Javi? He's always sniffing around. Was it him? I saw him with his hands all over you last night. He fucking had his tongue down your throat!"

Oh my God, he saw! Shit this complicates things.

Christian was struggling to get free from Luke now and I was scared that if Luke lost his hold on him he would hit me. "Was it fucking him!?"

"NO!"

"Who Ana. Who did this?" He pointed to my belly.

Ethan put himself between me and Christian, but he turned to me and grasped my hands. "Tell him, Annie. Tell him so that he will stop this bullshit."

" _I…_ " I shook my head. If I said it out loud then that would be it. No longer I could hide behind my facade. Closing my eyes… I thought back to that night.

 _My breath hitched, it_ _'_ _s not like I hadn_ _'_ _t seen a dick before. Everyone on the bus were very open about their bodies, especially when nudity was involved. Of course I_ _'_ _ve seen Christian_ _'_ _s penis, it had been shown off more than a few times in my direction. Ok it was thirty-three times since I was almost nineteen, but who_ _'_ _s counting. Over the last few months it had become a rarity. He was constantly covering himself and I found it odd and out of character._

 _Tonight there in front of me was a gorgeous man, completely naked and bared to his bone. It was my first glimpse of him aroused and such a beautiful specimen in it_ _'_ _s full attention. Mr Christian Grey._

 _Holding his phone enthralled with what ever he was looking at, he groaned_ _"_ _Hold on buddy_ _"_ _to his cock. Immediately the phone was on the floor. His hand dove to his cock, fingers surrounding the trunk, gripping tight. Christian_ _'_ _s other hand clutched his guitar so it wouldn_ _'_ _t fall. He was damp, sweat beading over his luscious skin._

 _I looked down at myself, barefoot, messy hair and in my old pjs, absolutely nothing compared to the rock God on the bed._

 _His sultry gaze embarrassed me and my toes instantly curled into the carpet. He_ _'_ _s so beautiful. As he lowered the guitar, strings vibrated I could see all his long broad length of him. When his hand was free, he tugged and stroked his cock again and I was amazed to see him tasting his arousal as it dripped from the tip. A small groan escaped my lips as my mouth became parched as I candidly watched the show before me._

 _He outstretched his hand, curling his fingers winding me in. I couldn_ _'_ _t refused._

" _The wait has been unbearable tonight_ _…_ _every fucking night. Come here Baby._ _"_ _He slurred his words as he patted the spot next to him. It was then I noticed the bottle of Drambuie. He was intoxicated._

 _My mind couldn_ _'_ _t think straight but my body followed his instruction. He held my hand, studying my palm, his fingers dancing over the sensitive skin. He guided that very hand to his cock. It was my first time, it wasn_ _'_ _t what I was expecting_ _…_ _it was firm yet smooth. He helped, showing me to pull up and twist down. He groan with every rotation._

" _Oh God Baby. Can you feel it? The need. The want._ _"_ _He moaned as we worked together over his cock._

 _It was carnal, primal and extremely arousing. He lent back and I continued at my own leisure unsure if it was right, since I only had a 60 second lesson._

" _Christian_ _…_ _Is this Ok?_ _"_ _My voice disappeared, was it right, was this what he wanted?_

" _Ohhhh_ _"_ _He groaned_ _"_ _Baby this is beyond perfect._ _"_ _His breathing labored and was it possible for a guy to get so close so quick? But I was captivated by the velvet rod in my hand. His rod. It was silky to touch as my fingers worked its way up and then back down to the hilt._

 _My head was screaming at me how wrong this was. I am sober. Christian is drunk. Does he even completely realize it_ _'s me? He'_ _s never called me baby. He probably thinks I_ _'_ _m a groupie_ _…_ _or Lizzie to service his sexual needs. Shit! But I love him and no one can tell me any different._

With my name being repeated over and over I was broken from that night.

"Fucking who _Anastasia_!" Christian gritted his teeth, sending a shiver down my spine by the way he used my full name. Taking a much needed breath he lowered his voice once again, "Do you even love the fucker?"

"Of course I do, I wouldn't just fuck or whore myself out to anyone." I looked toward Elliot, then shaking my head looking at my fingers curling and twisting in my lap.

"WHO THE FUCK IS HE!" Christian screamed?

"Chris, leave it." Elliot tried his best to hold his brother.

"NO!" He pushed Elliot off his shoulders, almost knocking him to ground. "Is it someone in this room?" Christian demanded. "Well?" This wasn't my Christian he was raging… burning me down… he was only cold ashes. So very cold.

The next morning after that storm a part of me died a little inside, but a bigger part was relieved he didn't remember. Now I'm regretting everything.

"Yes." I whispered to the room. The gasps were unavoidable.

Ethan's head whipped back, stunned by my confession. His eyes met mine. It was obvious he knew and I quickly lowered my head scrubbing away my tears.

 _No fucking way_ , Ethan mouthed looking between us. Shaking his head, with the smallest hint of a smile.

"Who, _Ana?_ " Christian's voice cracked and his pain was evident for all in the room.

I swallowed hard, rubbing my eyes until they burned, "Christian."

"FUCKING WHO!"

"It's you. YOU CHRISTIAN! _We... Fucked_!"

* * *

 **AN:**

 **I would love to know your thoughts on this chapter. :-)**

 **I post teasers 24 hours before I update on my fb page (see my profile for links) and two fb groups - FSOG Fanfic Followers and FSoG Fanfic Obsessed.**

 **Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns.**

 **See you on Thursday for "** **Chapter** **17 - Revelations" (CPOV: a combination of scenes to the build up of Annie's news)**

 **missmusicteach**


	18. Ch 17: Revelations

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER** **SEVENTEEN** **:** **REVELATIONS**

 _ **Christian**_

She's doing it again.

She's forcing herself.

No matter how much she tries to hide it with the trickling of water or soft music, I can hear the dry reaching. It's giving me a weak stomach listening to it.

It's happened every morning this week. At first sounds obviously the thoughts of Luke purging the nights before booze came to mind. I broke in a sweat watching Ana stumble from the small bathroom, pale, unbalanced on her feet and honestly looking like shit. I know the others can sleep like the dead but I've been a light sleeper on and off over the last few months. This past week I don't think I have slept a wink since I'm worried one time I'm going to find Ana passed out with her head down the porcelain.

I could sense something was up with her but pin pointing the cause is still up for debate. I hate it that I can't control this, I don't want to bombard her, I know she would just clam up and refuse to tell me anything.

Maybe it's a bad rag or food poisoning? I'm sure it's happened in the past, but I don't have those magic skills like Eth. What if it's the complete opposite, something serious… terminal.

I mentioned my concerns to Eth later that morning, his look didn't ease my worry.

"Dude she's not on her rag. You may think every woman stops functioning around menstruating, but they don't." Ethan rolled his eyes at me. "There is so much more to a woman you need to worry about. So I think Annie's just skipped a few, the same as this time last year."

" _Mens-traiting?_ "

"Jesus Christian. Do you know anything? Please tell me you know the name of the hole to fuck!"

"Her _butt_?" I laughed, punching him in the chest. As I rubbed my now sore fist Eth shook his head. "But honestly Eth how do you know this shit? Do you put your hand in her panties or something to test?"

"Yeah." He nodded with a goofy grin. "Usually when my fingers are red it's a dead give away or the string dangling from her vagina. _VA-GI-NA._ This is the hole you push your dick in and out of, when you bang a chick. You fucking dickhead!" Eth sighed, "Oh Christian, you truly are hopeless when it comes to women? So this is what I do. I usually lap her up with the goods: Tylenol, chocolate, and a cold Dr Pepper. The most important thing is simply to ask. Sometimes she tells me straight up. You know it's pretty easy to communicate if you just speak to one another." He chuckled.

Why am I getting the impression he wasn't talking about Annie's period.

"Chris, I think it's the stress. Us guys, the tours, fucking Hyde! Have you looked at her lately."

Of course I had. I couldn't stop looking at her.

"Yeah," I lowered my head.

Deep down, with her sleeping continually day and night, but looking like she hadn't caught a single z. The weight loss was a concern, and fuck me, her mood swings were vicious from angel to bitch in two seconds.

"What the fuck is wrong with her? Do you think it could be serious?" I whispered, truly troubled over Ana.

"I don't know? Hang on, what the fuck are you doing Chris?"

"Googling her symptoms." I held my phone close to my face entering her endless symptoms of tiredness, moodiness, lack of period, vomiting…

"Put that shit down and step away. Do not. I repeat. DO NOT DR. GOOGLE… you know it's going to say Cancer, phantom pregnancy or some shit."

"Okay, Okay…" I dropped the phone out of my hands. "It's scaring the shit out of me… What?… _Cancer_. Ethan, you've looked haven't you."

He grimaced. "Christian, here's the thing we can't worry her about this." Ethan began to wave his hands around. "You know the routine. She'll shut down completely, especially when there is mention of anything medical… like doctors."

We talked and started to put a few things together. A much needed break and stability, a physical home, not a fucking tour bus. We need to start thinking about getting rid of Hyde and make the transition to someone who would appreciate Annie's fantastic work and us four rockers.

"Who?" Ethan questioned.

"Steele?" I bit my lip, hoping he thinks it's a great idea.

"No fucking way." Ethan gasps.

"What? Why?"

"You're too invested in him. What happens if something goes sour? We end up with out a manager and you basically lose your idol. You'll lose your shit man."

"Fuck, I didn't think of it like that!"

"Chris, don't worry we will find someone, it will just take time."

…..

"You need to see a doctor. The sooner the better. If you wait any longer you are going to fade away before my eyes." Elliot and I had worked our way through several levels before I had enough courage to ask her.

I knew she would fight back. Cussing _fuck_ in my face and then jumping from her seat crossing her arms making a negative stance.

Hell with the fucking Xbox game I stood up too a breath's distance between her. She wasn't going to run away from this so I grabbed her arms, pulled her to my waist. The plan was her to sit next to me, but some how I turned her and she was straddling my lap. Shit she can't be sitting like this, I'm not going to be able to concentrate.

"Ana… Annie." Trying my best to calm her, I rubbed circles into her back. "Have you looked at yourself. You're nothing but bones. We know you aren't eating." She turned to Elliot probably hoping he will cut her loose. But he gave an agreeing nod to my statement. She was so close to me… I couldn't concentrate… my lips brushed her ear whispering I had heard her early this morning in the bathroom.

It was clear she was shocked at my revelation.

"You sleep all the time… And shit these—" I cut myself off. I needed to take a breath, this could go either direction.

Elliot saved me, "Well you keep having these bitchy mood swings." He rubbed his blond curls and continued, "It's not you at all Annie. Something's really wrong." He bluntly stated the facts to her.

And, bam Miss mercurial was here.

"What is this? A Grey family intervention or something." She hissed, and I swear saliva was flying but within a second she was almost crying. "I don't want to go to the doctor. No medical professionals. Final!" And she was back to psychotic bitch. Her breathing was labored and heavy.

" _Annie._ " Elliot was making shapes in the palm of her hand. She looked lost and scared. "Annie, we will go with you. You don't need to be alone." Elliot promised, but deep down I only wanted to be with her, not the other three guys.

"We wont let them hurt you." It was difficult keeping it together because deep down, I was a fool and Dr Googled. It has to be Cancer, what else could it be?

Finally with little more persuasion she nodded agreeing to see a medical professional. Elliot and I smiled at one another happy, we can finally get to the bottom of this.

…..

Tomorrow we are heading to Tahoe and I hope with my song it will open up Ana and hopefully her feelings. I have everything crossed. So tonight is the last concert for close to four months. I was nervous, playing through the chords in my head, I made sure I had the lyrics on a scrap of paper in my pocket just in case the song went belly up. For the first time in my life I was going solo and acoustic. Bare and naked for all to hear.

When the three guys left the stage, they all patted me on my back wishing me well. Even Ethan had a chuckle I'm sure he's worked it out.

"Here is our surprise… well mostly my surprise for all you out there." _No just Ana,_ "I've been slaving over this for weeks. Probably months but it didn't want to be written so it's been a long time in the making. I hope you enjoy it." My voice began to shake.

 _Come on Christian get your shit together._

I sat down, moved the mic in the stand close to my mouth. My right hand was actually trembling. Strumming the chords in a three beat motion using my favorite hot pink pick, I tried to keep it simple so I didn't mess up.

"So here it is… _You and Me_." I whispered into the mic.

The lights dimmed and only a single spot was on myself. I was more than blinded to see what was happening in the audience, let alone in the wings at the side stage. I knew Ana was standing just out of sight from time to time. I would get a glance of her as she paced while she handled mostly Hyde on her phone. The concert was only a few songs from being over and I was determined that this song was going to be for Ana.

I flicked my eyes back where I had seen her last as my sight was finally adjusting to the change. I almost stumbled on the first lyric _What day is it? And in what month?_

She was with Javi! And they were kissing. Not innocently on the cheek, or even her pushing him away. It was most definitely I want your dick down my throat or let's fuck type of kiss. My stomach roiled every time I looked over at her direction with… _Javi_. Why the fuck was the bass player of Lithium Springs here? It pissed me off that he had dropped in right when I was about to confess my love to her. My heart felt like it was going to explode, and some how I was able to finish the fucking thing.

As soon as the last chord strummed, I was off the stool and rushing backstage ready to face Ana's reaction to the song. Terrified I was too late, that Javi was the one she wanted and that this song would mean nothing.

She was gone.

Pissed off with Ramos, a fucking bass player, they aren't even true musicians! Why didn't, couldn't she notice before how much I truly love her. Shit, why hadn't I told her sooner. Now she was off with Javi. Probably sucking his tiny dick. I guess that happens when you wait, you get fucking pissed on, extinguishing your eternal flame.

I rushed the guys to get the next song started to finish the concert. Muttering a cuss to myself, thinking maybe I should get drunk or hook up with someone tonight. I hated the fucking world, the universe was against me! Maybe I should make Ana know I'm not wasting anymore of my time waiting for her. I was done.

Once the concert concluded, I celebrated and found a random chick hanging out side the back of the hotel, but it was short lived. The woman smelled of cigarettes and no matter how many mints she chewed, her breath had the distinct ashtray odor. Full gung-ho she went for my cock. I couldn't do it. The thought of Ana, all my dreams, and the things we have innocently done together over the years made my dick turn to jello. When you have been invested in someone for over fifteen years my heart couldn't stop on a whim random fuck. I signed her right breast and she left, less than concerned that I turned her down.

By the time I reached my hotel room, I was exhausted and drained but my phone wouldn't stop ringing. Seeing the name JAVI RAMOS flashing, I ended it immediately. A voicemail popped in my notifications and annoyingly a text message.

* **JAVI:** _It_ _'_ _s about Annie. Call me._ *****

If he thought using her name would get my attention he was fucking wrong. I deleted the text since Javi didn't need to rub my face in it that he got what he wanted. Why did he fucking do it? The shithead knew exactly my feelings about Ana. So on a whim I turned my phone off.

After a shower, I couldn't stop thinking about her. Maybe there was something wrong? I turned my phone on but it took its damn time, locking up twice during reboot. As I was searching for Ana's name in my contacts, multiple notifications crowded my screen. What the fuck? Twelve texts, all from Javi and ten voicemails. _Shit!_

My stomach tangled as I listened to the first voice message:

" _Where the fuck are you? I tried to take Annie back to her hotel room, but she was sick. Really fucking sick. I have Annie at the ER. GREY, get your ass here!_ _"_

I was trying to dress. It was difficult since I hadn't dried myself properly from my shower and my jeans were sticking to my legs, and my t-shirt was curling up my back. FUCK! Hopping on one foot, I skip my socks and went straight for the boots.

Javi's next voice message automatically started.

" _What_ _'_ _s the matter with you fuckwits? Annie_ _'_ _s in the ER and you idiots are off getting pussy! I thought you guys were close!_ _"_

My feet were moving so fast I almost tripped as I locked my hotel door. The voice messages continued.

" _She needs her family here. They won_ _'_ _t tell me anything. Get the fuck here NOW!_ _"_

Running towards Eth's room, I banged so hard it made the mirror on the corridor wall shake. "OPEN THE FUCK UP ETH!"

Javi's voice messages persisted.

" _Alright, Grey. I understand now, you never cared about her as a person, it was all about the pussy. So those drunken manifestos of love, wanting to be with her, marry her, were complete cock-talk. Well, I_ _'_ _m not stupid. If you won_ _'_ _t step up and take care of her and I fucking will. Hey she really likes me you know._ _"_

"OPEN YOUR FUCKING DOOR ETH!" I banged, adding the odd kick.

"Okay Chris. What the fuck?"

"Annie. We need to go NOW! I'll find Ell, you find Luke." I was out of breath, but there was no time for me to catch it, we needed to leave pronto.

"Oh come on, where the fuck does Luke even go?" Ethan groaned.

"No time, we need to get to the ER, NOW!"

" _ER?_ "

I almost crushed the phone in my hand as the next message played.

" _Thanks for kindly offering Annie on a platter to me. You know she has sweet lips. But can you get your ass to the hospital, I_ _'_ _m getting really worried._ _"_

I hit the end call and deleted the other four voicemails with no intention of ever hearing them. I didn't want Javi's words get the better of me, so I tried my best to stay focused.

Elliot, thank God was in his room with three chicks. The party hadn't started so it was a quick collection.

" _Sorry ladies, laters._ _"_ Elliot sung to his room of groupies as he waved them goodbye.

Ethan found Luke down stairs at the bar, chatting to the bartender, with a Jim Beam on the rocks.

…..

More than two and a half hours had passed since I received my first message. To see Javi pacing the entrance with his phone to his ear wasn't a good sign. He kicked his feet pushing up dirt from the garden beds. Every time he paced back and forth it made the automatic doors open and close. By the looks of it, pissing off both the medical staff and future patients in the waiting room.

My phone buzzed and answered _Yes, we_ _'_ _re here,_ to Javi. He lifted his head and the relief flooded his face as he saw the four of us exiting our cab.

"Jesus, about time fuckwits!" He exploded and his fist was tempted to head towards my face but he resorted to punched my arm thankfully.

" _So_ …" Ethan gulped "What's wrong with… her?" He demanded but failed to a whisper.

Javi shook his head and let it all go. "She was completely out of it when we got here. Out cold. She had been vomiting, like a shit tonne. It was the colors of the rainbow brown, yellow and green and that shit stank. I think I saw blood, but I'm not for certain. I heard someone say she's stable now. They gave her fluids and stuff. They won't tell me a fucking thing but the last time the doc was with her, I took a peek in and I think heard something about tests?" He panted and took a much needed breath, after explaining what he knew to us.

"Well, thanks for…" I gritted my teeth. I couldn't believe I was saying it, "Helping her. You know how much she means to us." _Me._ "You can go on your merry way now." I told him, not giving two fucks that I was acting like an asshole. I should have been thanking him on my knees for getting her the help we all failed to do, rather I was jealous and telling him to fuck off.

"What? So king dick Grey is back to take over? Are you kidding me, looks like you have been doing a shit job." Javi brown eyes darkened. "Well Grey, I think I'm going to park my fine ass on this seat and stay… hey what can I say, maybe I'll just hang around to finish what I started earlier." He smirked. "She did let me kiss her and it was fucking fantastic! Vanilla if I remember." He laughed.

My fist grew tight as the knuckles whitened. My jaw cracked and I visually imagined breaking his face with a single blow. " _I saw_ " I mumbled. Slowly I lifted my arm and stepped forward. Quickly, Ethan took hold of me and pulled me towards the ER department door.

"Hey… Ahhh Thanks Javi. We _ALL_ appreciate, helping Annie, but it might be best if you leave." Ethan hollowed behind me to Javi.

"Anytime Ethan… _Shit._ " He looked to his phone, it was flashing something which would have affect an epileptic. " _Fuck me_." He tilted his head back, sighing like he was almost considering not to answer the call. "Oh hey baby… naaaw _Lady Lizzie_ I've missed you so much…. What have I been doing? Oh nothing other than just saving someone's ass… yeah honestly that's all. " He winked towards me. _Fucker._

And just like that he was gone out of sight and out of mind.

We were hoping to get through the ER doors, but we were blocked.

"Excuse me are you family? We can't let you in unless you are." The lone nurse pursed her thin lips.

Without a thought we replied "Yes, of course. We are looking for our little sister Annie… _Anastasia Wilks_." The lie was something that slipped off our tongues regularly for years. I'm sure we looked less than desirable arriving at the ER. Luke was partially intoxicated, Elliot smelt like several woman's perfumes, Ethan was shitting bricks and I looked like death warmed up. I was tired and just needed to see my Baby Girl.

She never questioned us, but we were prepared. I always carry a digital copy of our guardianship. The nurse glanced down at her computer hesitating but gave us her room number. The three guys stormed off, where I kept a few paces behind. I was still seething after the encounter with Javi. _Fucker_.

…..

A young doctor with a stethoscope around his neck was standing a little too close to Annie when we barged into her room. She was deathly pale and all thoughts of destroying Javi or being angry with her evaporated immediately. _Oh God_ , she looked so vulnerable lying in the hospital bed. A white cotton blanket covered her and an IV rapidly dripping a clear fluid was attached to her arm. I could see the wires from what I could only guess was a heart monitor and a clip on her finger making it glow red. The waves crashed through my stomach, I was going to be sick. My poor Ana.

Fuck this, we… I had nearly lost her, forever.

 _ *****_ **CHRISTIAN:** _Ray, we_ _…_ _I almost lost Annie tonight._ _ *****_

I messaged my idol, best friend and now only father figure I've ever had in my life.

 ***RAY:** _R u ok, call me if you need to. Send my love to your girl._ *****

Looking up from my phone I could see Ethan was broken, his tears were falling and I'm sure I wasn't far behind. Luke and Elliot were lost, and just sat in the chairs in parallel corners of the room.

The first question was going to be most difficult, but I manned up… and tried my best not to chicken out. "What's wrong with you Ana?" I stood at the end of her bed, holding her medical notes. I turned the hand written pages, but it was all in code. I couldn't decipher what this shit meant. Vitals, up and down. Tests, negatives and positives. All I can hope is she was going to be ok. I needed her to be ok. She is our Baby Girl, Annie… my Ana.

…..

The next morning, who thought my world could flip a 180 just by buying a few coffees and a Dr Pepper. We were exhausted sleeping in the worst positions possible in Ana's small hospital room. All I wanted was the strongest, thickest coffee money could buy to wake me up, but some how I ended up with so much more.

I was too stunned to move. In fact, I was sure that I lost all ability to move for a few minutes.

"Who, _Ana?_ " My voice cracked my pain was evident all over my face.

Ana swallowed hard, rubbing her eyes. They had clear red rings from scrubbing her tears away, "Christian."

"FUCKING WHO!" I hissed. I needed to know, if it was my brother or Luke. This was insane what the fuck was—

"It's you. YOU CHRISTIAN! WE… FUCKED!"

"What?" The single word slipped out. I almost swallowed my tongue.

"You… It's you Christian." Her head fell into her hands. Unable to look at me.

I had an inner battle of disbelief and joy. There is no way Ana said that. It can't possibly be correct. We haven't. We haven't made love? Impossible! _It_ _'_ _s you Christian_ … I heard the words. I wasn't still asleep in that damned shitty chair beside her bed? All around the room was quiet, except for the heart wrenching sobs coming from the woman I loved.

"He's the baby's daddy?" Ethan gulp, " _Shit_ , sorry Chris," and he zipped his lips quick smart.

"It's impossible Annie—" I needed to breathe, gulp how the lump in my tight throat, " _Ana?_ Impossible." I stared directly into her eyes willing her to tell me that it's a dream.

Her eyes were irritated and red, "No, it's not impossible Christian." She sniffed, turning her head away.

"It was a dream, it's always a dream Ana." I fell into that uncomfortable chair, as my legs gave way. I gripped her hand tighter, no matter how hard Ana tried to pull away. "It was a dream Ana… Right?" I begged to hear her answer, the truth but she never took her eyes away from the bed.

"Damn it. Look at me. _Fucking look at me Ana!_ " I screamed, making her flinch causing her eyes to make contact.

"I'm sorry Christian." She cried trying to break free from my grip, but I was never letting go. Never again. "I'm sorry, please don't hate me… I think it might break me."

What the fuck was she talking about now? I am adamant I know the night in question we conceived our miracle. The next morning I had woken with the scent of sex in the air but thought that I had just gotten myself off in the middle of the night. My hands had minds of their own. It wouldn't have been the first time I had jacked off while I dreamed of Ana.

I had a million questions flying through my mind. Had I hurt her? Was I gentle as she deserved? Did she enjoy it? Oh fuck have I ruined sex for her, I was drunk! _Shit._

When Eth started to laugh, Ell and Luke couldn't help but join in.

"Fuck off Eth!" She hissed, "Now is not the time to laugh. I'm trying to be super serious here. I jumped him, I totally raped him." If looks could kill Ethan would be dead six times over.

I couldn't help it. It would have taken any person more willpower than I would ever claim to have not started laughing. When my eyes met the anger, fear and possibly deep humiliation over her face, my laughter stopped instantly.

"Oh, come on Annie. How do you think you could take advantage of me. Dear sweet Lord, it isn't rape when it's consensual. I could have said no, but why would I?" I stroked her hand and for this first time this morning she didn't try to move it away.

"But, but, but you didn't know it was me? You, you, you were thinking I was a slut, one of those groupies or your fucking ex." She cried out.

I grabbed her face, "What the fuck are you talking about? I might have been drunk, but clearly I was sane. I could still get a hard for you Ana. I knew it was you." I smiled directly to her.

"Umm dude that's fucking gross." Elliot called out. "We don't need to know the deets of your boners, especially for _our Sis._ " He ended the conversation with a finger down his throat.

"Hey I'm sure I've seen yours more times than you have brushed your teeth. So shut up or get out!" I hissed at my brother.

"I've dreamed about having you a lot longer than I will ever admit. I'm sure that's why when I woke up the following morning, I thought it was another dream. An amazing wet dream, a fucking awesome fantasy. You've made it reality for me Ana."

I tried my best to ignored the guys retorts of displeasure and watch my girl. She looked stunned, maybe as stunned as I had been to find out I was her baby's father. Her eyes widened and I thought I saw something close to elation crossed her beautiful face.

Could I have been wrong all this time? Did she feel the same as me?

"Ana… I —"

Suddenly the door flung open with that old nurse pushing in a wheelchair. _Shit_ , I can't believe what I was going to say out loud. I need to keep my emotions in check. After the nurse spoke with Ana, we were ordered out so she could help her freshen up. I wanted to stay but Ana assured me she would be fine and out in no time.

"Let's have a breather. There will be plenty of time to talk later. She isn't going anywhere." Ethan patted my back as we were leaving the room.

That was the only thing I was sure of at the present moment. Ana wasn't going anywhere I wasn't. We had plenty of time to sort our life, our future. The door closed behind Ethan just as I leaned back against the opposite wall with Luke. Thankfully Elliot had gone ahead to grab us a cab. I didn't think I could have handled his pacing right now.

Ethan bumped my shoulder only giving me the rocker head nod of acknowledgement.

My mind was going into over drive. I had done the one thing that we had spent the last five years making sure no other guy could do. Of all things, I had not only taken Ana's virginity while wasted but we had gotten pregnant too. Thank god it wasn't a trifecta like getting hitched in Vegas or something.

She deserved much better than this. Jesus Christ a drunken fuck! What is wrong with me?

* * *

 **AN:**

 **I post teasers 24 hours before I update on my fb page (see my profile for links) and two fb groups - FSOG Fanfic Followers and FSoG Fanfic Obsessed.**

 **Thanks for reading. Last chapters reviews have BLOWN ME AWAY! I've appreciated every single one (sorry I haven't PM you all back but I've been a little busy in RL), don't stop, keep them coming. I don't need the motivation to write since I only have the epilogue to go but it truly shows me that people really do love my little story. :-)  
**

 **So please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns.**

 **See you on Sunday for "** **Chapter** **18 - Mercurial Moments" (APOV: after the blow up at Christian, in the hospital.)**

 **missmusicteach**


	19. Ch 18: Mercurial Moments

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER** **EIGHTEEN** **:** **MERCURIAL MOMENTS**

 _ **Annie**_

Staring at Christian. The man I love. All my fire, heat, and flames escaped me as now ashes were dousing my soul. Their stares… I can't breathe.

 _It_ _'_ _s you. You Christian. We_ _…_ _Fucked._

 _It_ _'_ _s you. YOU CHRISTIAN. WE_ _…_ _FUCKED._

 _IT'_ _S YOU! YOU CHRISTIAN! WE_ _… FUCKED!_

The words screamed louder each time it played in my mind. Why did I say _fucked_ … we didn't. It was beautiful, it was love. Well love for me, _Oh God,_ what have I done?

I've acted strong for so long, and finally it's begun to hurt. I think they've finally realized that I'm not and never have been this strong Annie they have always lead to believed. My weak body is overrun, too tired now. The shame flares over my cheeks and ignites like a dry dead forest. The flames are everywhere burning my salty tears of humiliation. _Oh God_ , the shame! I want to hide, but where can you escape a burning fire. All the years I wanted to stay away from hospitals and now I want to hide in one. I try and curl into the fetal position under the covers of my hospital bed and block out everything, including _him_.

What must he be thinking? The only person I have ever truly love, the only man who could ever own me completely. I have destroyed it all.

Christian's voice lowered as his spitting rage evaporated. Shoes scuff on the laminate floor making me look to the sound competing with my rapid heart rate trying to escape my chest.

" _What?_ " Christian's single word was barely audible as his voice cracked.

I've never heard silence quite this loud. Their faces told it all, I've destroyed their trust. In all honesty I think being yelled at is far easier to handle than this stillness. It's too quiet. I don't know what they are thinking but the endless thoughts are breaking, shattering my heart. All the pieces to my puzzle are broken. I knew that wouldn't have happened if there wasn't a storm or he wasn't drunk.

" _You—_ " I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat. "It's you Christian." I eased out my secret as the tears began to escape.

"He's the baby's daddy?" Ethan quickly regretted speaking. " _Shit_ , sorry Chris," and he closed his mouth instantly.

"It's impossible Annie—" Christian swallowed, " _Ana_? Impossible." He looked at me, eyes opened wide nodding his head willing me to give the answer he wants.

Who am I? Am I truly her? I sobbed into my already wet palms. I am the abuser Carla, a fucking monster. It has taken almost five years after her overdose but it's clear her fuckedupiness has finally made its mark. I have followed her destructive path. I took advantaged of him. Taken the most intimate thing away from him. If he had only screamed _no_ at me, hit me or pushed me away, I would still be a virgin and none of this would have happened.

My fingers were circling around my eyes, scrubbing the burning tears away. "No, it's not impossible Christian." I sniffed making my ears ache. I bluntly refused to make eye contact with him.

"It was a dream, it's always a dream Ana." Christian fell into the chair next to my bed. He held my hand. I protested but he gripped tighter ignoring my wishes. "It was a dream Ana… _Right?_ " He questioned. He begged.

I continued to stare at my blanket covered legs.

"Damn it. Look at me. _Fucking look at me Ana!_ " Christian yelled.

The sheer volume made me jump and my eyes locked to his. They were storming just like the night I took everything away from him.

"I'm so sorry Christian." I sobbed, trying to pull my hand out of his, again he denied my request. "I'm sorry," I couldn't stop shaking my head. "Please don't hate me… I think it might break me." My last words blurted out as a shaky mess.

The silence had returned. It made me believe the guys had left the room which was relieving. When the tell tale chuckle of Eth and the others following suit, I knew it would have just been luck to be alone with Christian.

"Fuck off Eth!" I snapped, "Now is not the time to laugh. I'm trying to be super serious here. I jumped him, I totally raped him." Glaring at Ethan.

The laughter increased. A belly laugh from Luke, random cuss words from Elliot but I didn't expect the snicker of a tenor voice. My jaw dropped at Christian. How could this humorous? When more tears fell, he instantly stopped.

"Oh, come on Annie. How do you think you could take advantage of me. Dear sweet Lord, it isn't rape when it's consensual. I could have said no, but why would I?" He continued to stroke my hand and this was the first time I didn't try to remove it from his hold.

I had so many questions and the words stuttered out, "But, but, but you didn't know it was me? You, you, you were thinking I was a slut, one of those groupies or your fucking ex." I cried out.

He grabbed my face, "What the fuck are you talking about? I might have been drunk, but clearly I was sane. I could still get a hard for you Ana. I knew it was you." He smiled.

"Umm dude that's fucking gross." Elliot called out. "We don't need to know the deets of your boners, especially for _our Sis._ " He ended the conversation with a finger down his throat.

"Hey I'm sure I've seen yours more times than you have brushed your teeth. So shut up or get out!" Christian called out to his older and immature brother.

"I've dreamed about having you a lot longer than I will ever admit. I'm sure that's why when I woke up the following morning, I thought it was another dream. An amazing wet dream, a fucking awesome fantasy." Everything was smiling on his face. "You've made it reality for me Ana."

The other guys were groaning.

"Way too much info bro. Our minds are fucked up now with that shit." Elliot mumbled.

"I'm amazed you haven't laid down the commentary for us, please continue with the sexcapades with our lil _Sis_ ," Luke grumbled his sarcastic rant.

"Fuck off Ell, Luke." Christian hissed giving them the much needed finger salute.

Did Christian really remember? That night was amazing. I have nothing to compare it too, only my dreams. It had been haunting me for months how we had made love… and Christian knew it was me. I was amazed and sat there staring at him. Shocked, burning with desire and amazement. I was staring at the father of my child.

"Ana… I —"

With the door flying open my not so favorite use-by nurse made her entrance cutting off whatever Christian was about to say. The nurse who had revealed my secret, surprisingly returned but this time with a wheelchair in her grasp. She didn't look happy, actually she looked kinda pissed. _Twunt, you old fucking bag._

"Well since all the fussing has stopped I thought I would make my entry with my wheels." She pushed and pulled the wheelchair trying to be funny. But it wasn't as I crossed my arms.

"Now grab all your things dear, you're heading home," There was that word again, home. Where is home? Our current home is a tour bus, moving from city to city. "Now one of you boys, could you bring your car to the front so we can get this momma home." My hands went to my belly, and a smile grew over my face. I'm going to be a mother.

"Ok, I'll do it, I'll find a cab." Elliot groaned and forced himself up out of his chair.

I mouthed _thank you_ to him, since I truly appreciated what he was doing, since I couldn't do it myself.

…..

After refreshing myself we made our way to our idling cab. The nurse reminded me a few do's and don't while being pregnant. Her most important request was to rest and not over do it.

Rest. I was planning on it, but with sun, sleep and cocktails. This made me realize I had no idea about being pregnant. I've never been around many women, let alone ones which were knocked up. I was an only child. There were no babies in the trailer park and it's a rare sighting to see a chick with a baby bump at a Burning Embers concert.

Fresh tears burned my eyes. I didn't want to hurt my baby. It had been pure luck that I haven't done any serious damage over these last few months to her or myself. I vowed the moment I heard her heart beat to ensure she will only know love, appreciation and devotion not only from her parents but her crazy uncles too. I held the pictures the ultrasound tech had given me the day before, smoothing the crumpled edges I smiled at my little girl.

"Don't worry dear, there are countless websites, pamphlets, books, support groups which can give you clear advice of the Do's and Dont's during various stages of pregnancy. You've skipped a fair bit…. but the best and most important part is coming." She patted my hand.

"What's that?" Completely oblivious. There's something better than hearing the heartbeat for the first time?

"The birth dear. The first moment you get to hold your baby." She crinkled her face, "You haven't been around babies very much, have you?"

I shook my head. _Oh God_ I'm going to be a shit mother, just like my own.

"You'll be fine. By the looks of it with these boys, you'll have the best support any new momma could ask for." She beamed towards my guys.

Within a blink of an eye she waved us off as we made our way into the cab.

I pulled out my phone and started to do a Dr Google search on pregnancy, and favorited a few websites and forum pages for future reading.

The guys were frowning at me when they saw my phone was out. "I don't fucking think so Baby Girl. No work, just rest." Immediately Luke snatched the phone from my grip before I could say a word. He turned it off and slipped it into his own jeans pocket - off limits for me.

"It wasn't work—" Elliot cut me off.

"Bullshit. It's off and gone. We need to think about the water views, isolation and importantly alcohol—" Elliot said.

"Non-alcohol for you Sis." Ethan whispered and patted my leg.

I let out a giggle.

"And sun, loads of sun." Luke leaned back in the cab seat with his arms behind his head.

My hand still had a hold of my baby's images.

"Ana. What are you holding?" Christian flicked his head to the pictures in my fingers.

I offered them to him. "It's the baby's first pictures." I bit my lip as his hands trembled holding the grainy images.

He looked pale, but excited. "Our baby?" He was shocked with the words coming from his lips. " _Our baby_ … this is fucking amazing!" He whispered with the largest smile on his face.

I nodded and mirrored his expression. "The technician said all measurements looked good since I'm so far along."

"How far along are you exactly?"

"19 weeks." I grimaced.

"Holy shit Ana, you're tiny!"

"Oh it's all baby, it's hard my belly." I grabbed his finger and made him poke it. I could feel a flutter and I stopped.

"You ok?"

I nodded, refusing to say anything just in case if it was gas.

"You could say they are rock abs, like these." Ethan lifted his shirt and slapped his torso.

"Annie, are you sure you got knocked up from that night? I'm amazed he got the little guy up if he was wasted." Elliot sniggered.

"Oh Ell, it's far from little and I think it's time for you to start growing to catch up to your little brother." I winked.

I laughed and it felt good to feel home with my guys again.

…..

My trip back to the hotel seemed to drag, taking sometime. Ok it was over forty minutes. When Javi drove, it took moments to arrive at the ER. It was obvious I was delusional and partly unconscious so of course it only took a short while. I hope he wasn't a lead foot. If any of my guys find out, I'm sure he would lose all his limbs and then his ability to continue his livelihood playing music. I shook my head at the thought.

" _What?_ _"_ Elliot asked.

"Oh nothing." I tried to brush off the memory.

Thinking of the Lithium Springs bass player made me wonder where did he go? I hadn't seen him since the night before just before the guys came charging into my hospital room. "Hey, where's Javi? He was with me and next thing the four of you were?"

"Why are you even mentioning his name? It's not like he means anything to you Ana?" Christian gritted through his teeth.

Elliot rolled his eyes. "Yeah, so he got a call from Lizzie. He needed to head back to Seattle for a booty call or something? Javi hopes you feel better soon and call him when you're up to it." He kissed my hand. "Yeah and that kiss is from him. No, actually he suggested on the lips, but I think this will do." He said while looking at his brother. "Isn't that right bro." He nodded.

I sunk down in my seat. Shit, the guys knew I kissed Javi backstage?

"Ohhh yeah, umm thanks Ell." I let out a huge sigh sinking even further into the seat.

…..

Our flights still went ahead that afternoon not without dramas. It was a total fuck up since the private jet I had arranged was grounded due to urgent repairs by the engine maker Rolls-Royce Holdings. They didn't even accommodate new flights for the five of us. I was so run down and unable to use my phone, Ethan took it upon himself to arrange first class direct flights to Reno. The only issue, as we were checking in, Ethan realized his ticket was for coach. The poor guy was so upset since he was in need for the room being well over 6'4". Thankfully the airline found a seat for him in business not far from the rest of us.

From there we made our trek from Reno airport to our secluded lake house, in Lake Tahoe. We had rented a huge SUV that could accommodate all of us in the one vehicle plus the endless amounts of luggage. Elliot drove while Luke and Ethan buddied up in the middle row so I could lay down on the back seat with Christian, of course seat belt still on a request by my four guys.

After my draining revelation at the hospital and the horrible flight, I was fucking exhausted. Plane travel has never been high on our agenda due to my air sickness and now with the added combination of morning sickness. Most of the time my head was stuck in an airsickness bag or the awkward bathroom vomiting my guts up. Flights were only used if I was required an urgent meeting with Hyde in LA or New York. Sometimes the guys had commitments at award ceremonies and there was no time to travel hours by tour-bus. I hated flying so that meant the guys did too.

When we reached the lake house, I was so close to sleep my eyes were glued shut. Strong arms lifted me and I didn't bother to open my eyes. It was his musky scent that I inhaled and I couldn't resist but snuggle into Christian's neck and drift into a deep sleep.

…..

The next morning I was surprised to see a semi clothed rocker beside me. Christian was flat on his back naked from the waist up and not even close to touching me. He looked exhausted as his worry lines were more prominent over his forehead. I was tempted to run my tongue over his chest but I resist as I didn't want to wake him. Reaching for one of my many pillows I covered my mouth to contain my scream, Christian Grey slept in my bed no questions asked. How adorable.

The urge to pee was strong as I thought of snuggling up to my man. If that's what I could call him. Was he mine? At first glance, my room was magical. High arched ceilings, several doors which opened onto a large balcony with a gorgeous lake view, white walls with earthy tone rugs and lightly stained bamboo floors. A huge TV hung from the the wall opposite to my four posted bed, which was draped in opaque whites and greens. The sheets and comforter were a crisp white with high end Egyptian cotton. This was a luxury vacay at it's best. Three and half months of bliss. _Thank you God!_

As I sat up slowly so that my stomach couldn't roil and I noticed my very naked legs. My non appealing pasty white, hairy legs. I wasn't in my regular jeans and pink Burning Embers t-shirt or even my old pink pjs. I was pleased to be occupying an ex-large black ACDC shirt. The very shirt Christian was wearing yesterday.

With a slight skip in my step I made my way to the bathroom and how could I not gawk at my surroundings. It was phenomenal, the gorgeous earthy tones from the bedroom adorned the bathroom walls, wooden trinkets and candles were everywhere and the fresh scents of jasmine filled the room. There was an overly large hot-tub and a private outside shower. This would have to be the master quarters, it was huge. I wonder if the guys had put me in here because of the luxury due to my very soon expanding waistline. It's so thoughtful and melts my heart that these hard rockers can be such sweet softies.

" _Don_ _'_ _t cry Annie, don_ _'_ _t cry,_ " I muttered to myself as I blinked away several tears.

After relieving myself, oddly my stomach rumbled for the first time in months. _I wonder if I could make cheesy eggs_ _…_ _yes lots of cheese._

My bare feet and hairy legs enjoyed the warmth in the air. I walked down stairs gripping the railing, and discovered the gourmet kitchen with its beautiful white and grey counter tops and endless stainless steel appliances. As requested, the refrigerator and pantry were well stocked but I couldn't find the cheese or eggs anywhere. I haven't wanted cheesy eggs since I was a little girl.

Again my stomach growled. I'm starving. I opened the refrigerator and closed the refrigerator. I did this another five times… ok it was seventeen times. There was nothing which looked or even smelled appealing. I didn't know if I could bring myself to eat anything if I couldn't have my stomach's request. Pulling out a Dr Pepper, I twisted the lid open to a hiss as the gassy fizz released. I took a small sip. It was bubbly and refreshing, maybe not for my teeth but it's good on my stomach for some crazy reason.

" _Thank you bubba Grey for behaving this morning_ ," I whispered as I patted my relatively flat belly.

"Morning Annie. Morning future nephew or niece." Elliot announced through the sliding door that led outside. He was covered in sweat having just finished a run, I'm assuming around the property. "So you look like a little better than yesterday, I'm glad you've done a 180." He stated while filling a large glass of ice water.

"I'm really hungry Ell." I told him in a little huff. I couldn't help it I felt like I was five again.

"That's great to hear. Food is good! We need you eating, and especially with…" His eyes dropped to my belly, "I honestly can't remember the last time you said you wanted food, I think it's been what, months?" He dropped down onto a stool at the kitchen island. "Ahh Annie, can you fix me something too? I'm starving t—"

I could feel my eyes becoming glassy, I tried to blink it away but it wasn't working.

"We don't have eggs… and the cheese is just all American and it's just not right." There was a hitch in my voice and crazily enough tears began to fall. I was crying over food I was craving? What the fuck is wrong with me?

Elliot saw my tears and quickly put his water on the counter and wrapped his arms around me. "It's ok, just make something else Baby Girl. Bacon, toast, granola." He whispered, cooing to tame out my outrageous emotions.

Shaking my head I broke away. "I want cheesy eggs, Ell." I murmured, almost wanting to stomp my foot but I refrained. "Shit, I guess this is my first crazy pregnancy craving because I don't think I could eat anything else." I sniffed. "I want cheesy eggs just like my Momma would make when she was actually composed and being my mom for once." My chest hurts just thinking about my Mom. I think the deep pain of it all came loose and I stumbled to my knees on the kitchen tiles sobbing a river. "She was a lovely Mom before Missouri, I don't know what happened? I want to find my Daddy, I think he was nice. Oh God I don't know Ell." I continued to wail on the floor.

Poor Elliot had no idea what to do. Shit I didn't know what to do? I'm sure I looked like I had officially lost my shit. I heard heavy footsteps rushing into the kitchen as Ethan's voice demanded what was going on. His strong arms wrapped around me, lifting me to the edge of the kitchen bench. He ensured my butt was fully stable and down before speaking.

" _Annie._ " He looked at me with one eye open, using his thumbs to wipe away my stray tears. "What's going on Sis?" His voice was calm. I couldn't answer him so I just buried my face into his neck continuing to cry like a baby.

I hadn't cried for my Mom when she had died. At the time almost five years ago I had been so relieved for that day finding the monster deceased. I was subjected to beatings and burns on a regular basis for the majority of my life, my life was horrible in that fucking trailer park, half empty bottles laying around with crack pipes, cindering cigarette butts and needles mostly for heroin. Honestly, its a wonder how I actually survived and made it out alive.

"Eggs apparently." I heard Elliot speaking to Ethan. "Cheesy eggs like her _mom_ use to make." He smiled at me.

"Well asshole get her some fucking cheesy eggs!" Ethan yelled. He lifted me off the counter to stand, wrapping his arms around me to keep my balance. I heard Elliot rushing around, grabbing keys and then a slamming of the front door as he raced outside.

"It's okay, really. So take a breather and we will get you your cheesy eggs, Sis." We were swaying together to calm my worries just like when I was little.

"But Eth, it's not going to be the same. Like when Lukie and Ell bought my doll when Mom took my daddy's one. You know my Momma made them so good, I loved those darn eggs. They were—" I sniffed, " _My favorite._ " The two words cracked out of my shaky mouth.

"Oh Annie." He blew out a frustrated sigh of air. "Baby girl, she was barely coherent ninety nine percent of the time. Why are you thinking about her now? You never mention her, like we never talk about that fucked up trailer park. So much bad shit happened there for all of us. Come on it's behind us now." He kissed me on my cheek.

"Really, I honestly don't know." I sobbed harder. "She was a monster. I shouldn't even let her invade my time… my mind, my memories. But, but, she was my mom Eth." My nose was running and without thinking I wiped it on his chest as he continued to sway me as my body continued to shake. "All I can think about is how much I want her cheesy eggs."

"I swear we will make you some, I will spend hours in this kitchen until they taste just the way you want them… please stop crying or I'm going to as well. You're tearing me apart Annie." There was the slightest quiver in his voice and I raised my head to see that his big eyes were damp with tears.

In an instant my tears stopped and my body stopped shaking. "Sorry, Eth." I lowered my head.

"These better be your hormones talking." He asked running a hand through his blond curls. "Cos I don't think I'm going to survive this moody, emotional shit very long. How many weeks do you have?"

"This is so messed up, we all have 21 weeks more or less." I wiped my eyes and noticed that Ethan's shirt was covered in my nasal fluids and tears. "Oh shit your shirt Eth." I pointed.

He pulled it off and used it to wipe up my face. "It's just a shirt. It can be washed, replaced whatever. You on the other hand can't. What the fuck, 21 weeks, shit-a-brick Annie, we are all so screwed." I laughed. "Ahh now there's my pretty little Annie. It's great to see you're back." He pressed a kiss to my forehead and moved so that I was free standing. "Fuck I need a really strong coffee after that. I need that soup consistency brew." He let out a huge breath.

"Coming right up, sir!" I saluted him.

"Oh no, no, no. I can do it. You just sit back and relax ok." He ushered me to the couch over looking the view of the water.

…..

I could smell him before I saw him as Christian finally joined us, in the same pants he slept in and still sans shirt. I looked down at what I was wearing and blushed. Elliot rushed in the door with a grocery bag in each hand and seemed more out of breath compared earlier after his run.

"Ok so I bought three kinds of eggs; organic, free range, and extra large. I didn't know? Oh and I bought a shit load of cheese. Did you know that there is wasabi cheese? I didn't know what you wanted, so I got a whole bag of different types; feta, goat, creamy, hard… actually all this." He lifted up one bag, "I hope that's all you wanted, if you need more I'll head back to the store in a heart beat Sis." He dumped the bags on the granite counter.

My arms wrapped around him and I appreciated his over the top gesture ensuring I got what I wanted because I'm a hormonal mess.

He kissed my forehead. "Anything for you Annie. I want you happy and not crying. I hate the crying part ok."

" _Eggs_?" Christian ruffled his hair and scratched his abdominal muscles. "I'm starving."

"Well Annie's wanting cheesy eggs." Ethan said in a southern accent as he grabbed the pan. "So I'm slaving and making the girl cheesy eggs." He winked at me.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **I may have confused some readers last chapter. This isn't the end of BE, I still have another five chapters to post and the epilogue. I'm in the processes of writing the epilogue.**

 **I post teasers 24 hours before I update on my fb page (see my profile for links) and two fb groups - FSOG Fanfic Followers and FSoG Fanfic Obsessed.**

 **Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns.**

 **See you on Tuesday for "** **Chapter** **19 - Shocking, Knocking, Groaning" (CPOV)**

 **missmusicteach**


	20. Ch 19: Shocking, Knocking, Groaning

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER** **NINETEEN** **:** **SHOCKING, KNOCKING, GROANING**

 _ **Christian**_

Ana's hands were pale with a slight tremble as she was wheeled towards the cab. It was obvious whatever was in her grip had the upmost importance, but I couldn't quite make out what it was? _A pamphlet? Her prescription? A written note?_

" _Ana._ What are you holding?" My voice remained calm, trying to see exactly what was in her hands.

She held out her palm, strong without a single quiver, offering several squares of thick paper to me. "It's the baby's first pictures." I was trying to be strong but everything has been so overwhelming. To have the very evidence that this baby truly exists in my mitts it was remarkable. I studied the grainy images. _We are having a baby_.

I didn't know what I was feeling? It was surreal, but no longer a dream, the proof was before my very eyes. My calm facade collapsed quickly as my nerves crept to the surface. Instantly my shaking hands gave it all away. _Shit I_ _'_ _m a grown man crumbling at the sight of shades of grey printed on paper._ When I made out the profile of a little being it hit me. It hit me fucking hard. "Our baby?" I couldn't believe the words fell from my mouth. _I'_ _m going to be a fucking father!_ The look on Ana's face said it all. " _Our baby_ … this is fucking amazing!" I whispered with elation. My smile was straining the muscles on my face because I was so moved.

Ana's face mirrored my own smile. The realization was, we are going to be ok. This is going to be ok.

"The technician said all measurements looked good since I'm so far along."

"How far along are you exactly?" I didn't know how this all worked? Pregnancy wasn't something I've been exposed to. Drugs, alcohol, STIs yes, unborn off spring no.

"19 weeks." Ana frowned. Is this bad? Is there something wrong already? But she did look extremely small, I thought when you were pregnant you got a bump, especially at 19 weeks. That seems quite far along compared to six or even twelve.

"Holy shit Ana, you're tiny!" My voice squeaked, still trying to hold in my excitement.

"Oh it's all baby, it's hard, my belly." She didn't give me a chance and grabbed my finger to poke her stomach. She tensed her grip around my single digit and maybe we were moving too fast. Possibly in a stupid move, I pulled away.

"You ok?" Trying my best to stay calm and not go into protective mode.

 _Baby steps Christian._

She nodded.

…..

"What do you mean I'm in _coach_?" Ethan yelled at the small attendant named Brittany behind the counter. "I'm 6'4", I don't fucking fit in coach to start with." He threw his arms up, panting like he was going to turn into the Hulk.

 _Shit!_

"Dude, easy ok… breathe." Elliot rubbed his shoulders.

Honestly I had no idea what was going on. I just do as I'm told when it comes to travel. All I knew the private jet Ana had arranged was cancelled last minute and we were going on a commercial flight. The reason why Ethan was pissed was completely understandable but he's the one which booked them.

"Sir I need you to calm down. If you give me a moment I can check your flight and see if I can place you in another seat."

"Another seat… how about another class." I could hear Ethan starting to tap out a paradiddle on the counter with a single finger.

As much as I wanted to watch the side show I needed to talk to Ray.

* **CHRISTIAN:** _I have some news about Annie_ *

* **RAY:** _Please say she_ _'_ _s alright. That girl is your world_ *

"Sir, we have a premium coach seat with extra leg room… or…" The attendant tapped her nails onto the keyboard. "Busine—"

"Yes Business please." Ethan groaned.

* **RAY:** _Is she ok? Your silence is deafening Christian. Please, what_ _'_ _s the news?_ *

"Ok so we have five passengers—"

"No five members of the awesome band _Burning Embers,_ " Luke corrected.

" _Right_ …" Brittany rolled her eyes. "Five passengers in Business for Reno." She grinned.

* **CHRISTIAN:** _Sorry trying to check in. Well Ray, she is fine actually better than fine now_ _…_ _and so is the baby. Yes I_ _'_ _m going to be a father! Still early days, but I would really like you to meet her._ *

* **RAY:** _I thought you said you hadn_ _'_ _t slept with her. I know I_ _'_ _m an old man, used drugs back in the day, but I_ _'_ _m sure you need to sleep with the woman to get her pregnant. This isn_ _'_ _t adding up in my book._ *

* **CHRISTIAN:** _It was a shock, but it_ _'_ _s true. We did. I don_ _'_ _t know what to think, other than this is a blessing in disguise._ *

* **RAY:** _Babies don_ _'_ _t fix things, trust me. After losing both my girls. It_ _'_ _s communication and balanced relationships that make things. Just don_ _'_ _t do anything to ruin what you are trying to build. I know you Chris. You have a tendency to, well fuck things up. Just think before you act. I would love to meet this girl of yours but my schedule is a little tight in the next few months, blame the label but we will see._ *

* **CHRISTIAN:** _Yes Sir_.*

"Did you just salute your phone Chris?" Someone mumbled to me.

 ***RAY:** _That_ _'_ _s my boy. I_ _'_ _m only a call away or a text if needed. So congratulations is in order! Keep in touch RLS._ *

"Christian, are you coming?" The sweet words of my girl called.

"Oh shit sorry, yeah." I pushed my phone into my back pocket.

"Who were you talking to?" Ana's brow hooked and her lip formed a single line.

" _Jealous?_ " I almost bit my tongue as the word slipped out.

You fucking idiot, don't fuck this up before it's even officially happened.

" _No_ …" She shook her head quick biting her lower lip.

"It's Ray ok, he's—"

" _Chris, Annie come on, boarding will be soon and I want to be on the plane first._ " Eth called out. "I need to make sure that bitch didn't put me in coach." I couldn't help but chuckle at the big guy, he was determined to get the luxury he deserves.

Without a thought, Ana and I looked at one another and our hands right away linked. It's going to be ok. We are going to be ok.

 _Baby steps Christian._

…..

Once we had boarded our flight to Reno, was least than desirable to start our three and a half month vacation. Each one of us stressed over how sick Ana seemed to be. For years she had suffered from travel sickness, but all the vomiting on top of just getting out of the hospital for dehydration and of course being pregnant had us on edge. With forty-five minutes before we were due to land, I was ready to pound on the cockpit door and demand the captain to land at the nearest airport so Ana could get urgent medical attention. But the image of Rocker going ape shit on a commercial flight was going to cause more trouble than good. Hyde would have my ass if I ended up on a blacklist for flying and of course Ana would have to deal with the aftermath and of course that's something I didn't want.

"Take it easy would you! You're making me extremely anxious." Ana muttered, wiping her face for the umpteenth time after vomiting again into another air sickness bag.

I crouched down besides her. "Baby Girl you haven't eaten anything today. How can you still be so sick?"

She held up her opened can of Dr Pepper and an empty bottle of water. "I'm fine, I've been drinking." Yeah fucking poison no wonder she's been vomiting so much. It must burn every time she hurls.

My brows knitted together "Food Annie. You need some sustenance, maybe some graham crackers that's better than nothing." She turned her nose as soon as the cracker was mentioned. "Please Baby Girl it will ease my mind." I was begging, but trying my best to remain calm.

Huddling into Luke she closed her eyes. "I'm fine, Chris. It's just travel sickness. Not the…" A single eye opened, "… baby."

"Sis, why didn't you ask the doc for those patches you usually wear when we fly?" Luke asked as he sipped his Jim Beam on ice.

"I can't use them while pregnant… it's not 100% safe. I was kind of a little occupied at the time to ask the doctor, Luke." Ana stood, pushing past me. "I need to use the bathroom. Thanks." She answered forcefully.

My natural instincts when wild, I jumped to my feet and followed her every step. To the other passengers on the flight I must look like the ultimate stalker, and it was probably true. I was going into overdrive and I was fucking worried.

We were in luck as the flight contained mostly businessmen and women, and none had recognized _Burning Embers_. Except for one flight attendant, Lakesha. Bottle blonde and a fucking bimbo, how she has kept her job puzzles me. Once she didn't get the attention from me, she played her cards straight into Elliot's lap. Of course the brain between his legs obliged, no hesitation with a quickie in the first class bathroom and we were then left alone for the remainder of the flight.

A few short steps later, Ana had reached the bathroom and she turned noticing I was a single pace behind her. "I just need to pee, that's it. Just sit down Christian and stop worrying."

I shrugged, "So… _just pee._ " With a huff she slammed the door in my face and the occupied sign lit up in the cabin.

I stood there, my best trying not to put my ear up to the door listening to hear if she was hurling her guts up again. I didn't hear any gagging, actually I didn't hear anything. It was silent. _Shit, is she alright?_ Raising my fist to knock, I was stopped by Ethan's hand landing on my shoulder. I thought the guy was going to crush my collar bone, possibly going all Hulk; luckily he backed off.

"Ease the fuck up bro and leave her be. Annie is going to be fine. So take a step back and walk away." It was obvious his words were just to calm me than anything else. The worry on the big ass face told me he was just as freaked out as I was. "Jees Chris, take a breath and give her a chance until we land. Okay, man."

Turning my head back one more time to the occupied bathroom, I couldn't help but be worried about my girl. Ethan tugged my arm and with a little hesitation and I followed Eth back to our seats.

With my boney ass back in my seat I looked at all the guys, I wonder if they wanted to kick my ass as soon as we land? With my eye on Luke I noticed he had stopped drinking. Was he trying to sober up so he could kick me in the balls when I least expect it? It was obvious Eth was planning his attack, over the years I had been subjected to his threats anything regarding Annie. Moments like these I hope Ana can protect me, yes I'm chicken shit.

…..

Thank God I was in once piece once we had landed. Luggage in hand, we packed into our hire SUV and miraculously Ana's color returned and my stress began to ease. I was still on edge waiting for each of the guys to make their move on me, but it never came. Elliot had dibs driving the monstrosity of a vehicle while Luke and Ethan grabbed the middle row, mostly due to the leg room. I made my way to the back and Ana laid down, resting her head on my lap. She was adamant not to wear a seat-belt, but she changed her mind instantly as we each listed off the reasons for her safety.

She was drained and soon went into a deep slumber as the wheels began to turn. My fingers immediately twisted in her soft hair. Ana was so peaceful.

As we pulled up at the lake house, she didn't even stir as I lifted her into my arms and carried her into our vacation house. All the guys suggested Ana to have the master suite, it was amazing and luxurious. She looked so out of place lying on the large bed all alone. It took all my power to walk away. Yes I was acting like a weakling, my tell tale chicken-shit attitude, but I knew if I stayed any longer I wouldn't be able to withhold my actions. Shit a lot of stuff, important stuff has happened in the last 24 hours. My head was foggy and I needed to think things through and use the correct brain.

The room opposite Ana's was perfect, not too close, but close enough if I leaved the door open so I could listen out for Ana if she needed anything throughout the night. My bed was enticing and as soon as my head hit the pillow I was out cold.

…..

The handle turned as the door to my room creaked open. " _Who_ _'_ _s that?_ " My breath was still heavy riddled with sleep.

" _Shhh_ , go back to sleep Chris." My bed dipped as a female figure dressed in white climbed on top of me.

" _Annie?_ " I gulped. "Wha, wha, what are you doing?" Great now I'm a bumbling idiot.

" _Shhh,_ just be patient. Relax and let me do all the work." Her hand brushed over my jeans cupping my groin.

"Woah, Baby Girl… are you sure—"

"Christian, I want to. _Shhh_ , relax and let the pleasure take hold." The sound of my top button popping and the long zip of my fly opened of my jeans.

I'm trying my best to think of anything other than my dream girl wanting to fuck me, but it's not working. Ana lowered my boxer briefs and in a swift fluid motion my cock sprung from its cage.

"You are _sooo_ ready Christian. I know I am." Her voice purred in my ear.

I couldn't refuse as my little head was taking over. The sudden urge to put my seed inside of her was urgent and I gripped her waist impaling her with my cock.

"Oh God Christian." She moaned over and over.

"Ana you need to be quiet or the guys will hear us." I cupped her mouth, but she didn't ease up just rolling her hips faster and faster.

She pulled my palm away, "Don't care I need this. Don't stop." Ana's voice was unrecognizable but her scent was clear. Sweet, innocent, and all mine.

Her pace increased and the urge to come was tingling within my balls. My hands moved her hips pushing down onto my cock causing the much needed friction we both needed.

"Ana, fuck I'm not going to last long… I think I'm goin—"

 **BAM! BAM! CRUNCH!**

My head lifted and my eyes bulged as the air was knocked out of my lungs. _What the fuck!_ _"Ana?"_ I tried to suck in some much needed oxygen with another crunch to my chest.

"That would be a negative. Can you get your hand off your fucking dick to start with."

I dragged my hand out of my jeans and tried to focus my eyes but I was stunned again with another punch this time to my shoulder.

"Fucking Jesus… _Ethan?_ " I gasped with a horrid cough trying to stabilize my breath. It was proving to be harder to breathe than I first anticipated, I glared up at my best-friend. " _What the fuck?_ " I coughed.

He glared down at me and all I could see were his malachite glowing eyes, it was some freaky shit. Ethan's stature was scaring me, he was going all Hulk smash on me, literally.

"You are… So. Fucking. Stupid!" Ethan paused in between each word. "You know what pisses me the fuck off _Christian_?" He growled punching me on my other shoulder I guess just to ensure I'm listening.

" _Jesus_ … what?" I roughly gasped. Cringing, I held my chest waiting for my face to be crushed by the Hulk in front of me.

"Chicken-shit. A PUSSY! " He hissed. "You are a fucking pussy to the max, Chris! I've seen this unfold. I've watched you… for fucking years. You've had feelings for her it's so obvious it's been years. Luke and Elliot haven't seen it as much but I've seen it since day one when it went from sisterly love to eternal love. I can see the flame in your eyes for her." Ethan's fist tightened and the knuckles went white, I was embracing for the punch but it never came. "It was ok, Chris. Annie was always my sis, but it's always been different for you. Out of all of us you are the good guy. Ell is a fucking whore, Luke, lets face it, is an alcoholic and I'm the chick whisperer." He winked and smiled. "But you…" His hand pushed my chest and I fell flat on the bed again. "YOU, Christian. Instead of fighting for Annie, you hid behind those groupies for years, and then fucking Lizzie. What the fuck were you thinking? You pushed her away. You were going to hook up last night, weren't you? I saw the look on your face when you saw Javi kiss her. You are FUCKING. CHICKEN. SHIT!"

Ethan held out his hand to help me up as we both sat on the bed. "Christian, dude. She's pregnant, with your baby and you're still acting like a fucking pussy." He let out a huge sigh. "I checked on Annie before, you didn't even undress her, put her under the covers. What the fuck is wrong with you. Fucking grow your balls, ok asshole. Go into her room, put her in something comfortable, and stay with her and make sure she knows that you love her."

My mouth dropped open.

"Don't fucking deny it. I know. I've known for years. But she needs to know."

His fists relaxed and walked away. I was thankful Eth didn't hit me again. He didn't need to. I think he had finally knocked the sense into me, literally. Ethan hadn't touched my face, knowing Ana would have ripped his balls off for him kicking my ass, but of course the rest of my body hadn't been off limits. Shit, I was going to be sore for a few days. _Oh God,_ he had a good punch.

Looking at myself in the mirror, I thought to myself I needed to do this. I walked across the hall to her door. Ethan was right, she was still on the covers, asleep looking a little uncomfortable. With a few swift moves I removed her worn jeans, her small pink band shirt and replaced it with my ACDC shirt. Something large and comfy. Pulling the covers back, I slid her underneath. Lying next to her on top of the covers still a little nervous being so close, I watched her sleep as her chest rose and fell through out the night.

…..

The last few days flew by and I've let Ana enjoy the peace and quiet. When I had the opportunity I would wrap my arms around her, put my head in the crook of her neck, the positive is she hasn't told me to fuck off. That's a good sign right? Or is she building up for something, you know to break my heart?

If it wasn't for that ass kicking from Eth, I would still be wallowing in terror never talking or being near Ana again. I know Chicken-shit, grow a pair! I had been a coward all these years, when I could have had my Baby Girl… I just needed to fight for her, the woman I want to spend my eternity with.

With the water glistening in the Summer sun, it was calling my name. I wasn't surprised when I went to the shore to find Ana asleep on the lounger. The big umbrella protected her from the harsh sun, but it didn't shade her almost naked body from me. She was wearing a bikini that barely held in her boobs. Fuck me, her boobs have grown at least a cup size. They were perfect mounds resting on either side of her torso. I had been totally obsessed with her boobs because they were the perfect handful and natural, but now I've turned into a teenager with raging hormones.

As difficult as it was, I let her sleep. I walked into the water hoping that the coolness would relive my rod in my board shorts. It felt great to relax and not have to worry about anything especially what was going to happen day after day. Life on the road had gotten old, and I was ready to settle down.

I started to make a list, call Hyde regarding realtors, talk to the woman of my dreams and ask her on our first date. If I could get a kiss in-between I think I'll be in heaven. I just hope the guy between my legs doesn't take over and ruin my plans. _Easy boy,_ I groaned looking at my tight shorts. Splashing water all over my body, I decided to make my way to the shore and my girl _Ana_.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **Four chapters and an epilogue are all that are left. :(**

 **I post teasers 24 hours before I update on my fb page (see my profile for links) and two fb groups - FSOG Fanfic Followers and FSoG Fanfic Obsessed.**

 **Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns.**

 **See you on Thursday for "** **Chapter** **20 - Euphoric Times" (APOV)**

 **missmusicteach**


	21. Ch 20: Euphoric Times

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER** **TWENTY** **:** **EUPHORIC TIMES**

 _ **Annie**_

We had the view of Lake Tahoe as long as my eyes could see. It was spectacular. My guys dragged a lounger down to the shore front for me while I took a large umbrella so I didn't get burnt by the warm summer sun.

With a Dr Pepper in my hand and _Bumps, Boobs_ _& Babies_ in the other, it was time to catch up with what's happening with my body. It's obvious my hormones are out of fucking control but what else?

I am petrified that I have a baby growing inside me. Well I am I tolerating it… overall I think I'm beginning to deal with the whole concept, that a newborn will be in my arms in a short few months. At least today would have to be one of the best days I've had in weeks other than my catatonic breakdowns over cheesy eggs every morning. At least I was getting more than a handful of hours sleep at a time, but I still feel extremely exhausted.

My guys left me alone, which was nice and for once peaceful. It felt good to stretch out and not worry about the arms of the couch, a cramped sleeping berth or an upright chair on the bus. Complete freedom.

I found a chapter on grandparents and how important their role is during the pregnancy and the first months of their lives. Grandparents are allies in a child's search for who they are, their place in the daily world. A role model and someone to love. I scoffed at the idea. My so called mother was dead, as was Christian's. His dad was roaming the country and they never really spoke. My father, well I've never met him. I always told my guys that my mom wanted fame and tried to bed rockers. She thought when a baby came so would the cash, the clothes, the jewels and the overall popularity. I guess she drew the short straw because I'm sure my father wasn't a rocker because we didn't see any cash on our horizons just booze bottles, needles and endless trash.

As a small child I remember we ran away from him. Always fucking running. Carla always told me he was a bad man, _Hard Steel_. I knew as I grew up she was referring to his cock and not his name. Carla hated that name, _Hard Steel_.

As it hit early afternoon the sun was high in the sky, I chucked my pregnancy book behind me and wiggled my toes in the sandy shore. My innards felt like they were collapsing on themselves as if I hadn't eaten in days. The thought of cheese for devouring and total consumption was needed. Possibly with more Dr Pepper.

I entered the lake house to find Elliot, Christian and Ethan watching some kind of baseball related show on the huge tv. Boring!

"This lady—" I announced rubbing my almost flat belly.

"Momma." Ethan corrected pointing to my stomach, with a smirk on his face.

"This _momma_ ," I emphasized and it felt nice. "Is hungry. You guys want anything?" I asked as I passed them and instantly made a detour towards the bathroom. "Nope, change of plans." I yelled, "This Momma needs to pee." _Like right now!_ The sensation came from nowhere and pressure was unbelievable. Oh my God! My bladder felt like it was going to drop a flood on the floor and the guys would need Noah's Ark asap.

The guys continued my conversation even though I was bolting to the nearest bathroom.

"I could eat." Elliot said. "Hopefully there's loads of grub… I could eat for fucking days."

"Toasted Sandwiches! With _Cheese!_ " I called out, making it to the bathroom.

My body didn't even give a a chance before my butt cheeks were on the seat. It felt so good my eyes rolled and a moan slipped through my lips. I guess it's the simple things. I swear I sat there for two minutes straight as I relieved myself.

I washed my hands and got straight to work. Cheese and bread and a little whipped butter. I guess cheese was going to be my go to craving. They started to pile on the platter, and I popped a large slice of Jarlsberg into my mouth, with my eyes closed I murmured at this wonderful dairy product and jumped as I hadn't noticed Christian next to me.

"Oooh it smells, _cheesy_ in here." He winked, and pulled a cold beer from the fridge, popping the cap on the edge of the granite counters. "All this spare time and space is making this papa hungry." His eyes semi closed, rubbing his belly.

I couldn't help but grin.

 _Papa!_

He pulled me close to chest with his free hand. Those grey eyes caught me hook, line and sinker. His hand stroked down my side, making my heart race and breath stop. This intimate touch was so foreign. All the guys touched me, but never like this, so sensual and slow. But up until that moment I had never thought I would be on the receiving end of his caressing touch. When his hand hovered over my hip towards my hard abdomen, it made me shake with pleasure. He dragged me closer and I went willingly no questions.

My butterflies in my belly went wild. It was then I realized, it wasn't butterflies rather the kicks of tiny feet or maybe hands, I couldn't quite tell. My vacant hands roamed his chest, as I felt his heart race. I truly knew that this was real and not a dream. I moved my hands over his to my belly and smiled. We are going to be parents.

"Ahh, Annie. Lunch?" Luke said, his hair was tangled from his rough sleep. I'm actually starting to get use to his stubbly face.

I pointed to the kitchen counters.

"Awesome, I haven't had grilled cheese in forever. You're the best." He winked at me and surprisingly patted Christian on his back.

It was odd being caught by one of the guys wrapped in Christian's arms. It's such a bizarre situation, with the others being around. So I pulled away and Christian dropped his hand from my stomach. I knew he was disappointed with my choice, but I needed food!

It was nice eating together. At a table, like a family would. We never really got to eat like this. It was always take out, on the run or on the cramped bus. Never homemade (yes grilled cheese is homemade!) and never in my memory since leaving Missouri, the five of us. This vacation though a sacrifice to the band, it has made us a closer family unit. Money well spent completely worth every penny.

…..

Sunrise, sunset as the days dozily went by. I have slept more in the last five days than I have in weeks. My daily adventures involve peeing, eating and snoozing. Now it's barely two in the afternoon and my snooze cycle is upon me.

Unable to read, I stretched my arms above my head. Interestingly the material of my bikini top stretched and I notice something I had been blocking out of my mind for the last few weeks. My boobs were bigger. Fucking huge in fact, at least a cup maybe more than what I would normally be. Well, one bonus of being pregnant. I was a little worried only having boobs on the smaller end of the spectrum, but hi-five girl.

I grin closing my eyes. _I have boobs!_ I thought cupping them in my hands.

I was brought out of my sleepy haze as several large droplets of water, splashed over my belly. I let out a small squeal, opening one eye to see Christian looking at my small bump and my newly enhanced breasts. I moved my sun glasses up off my face beyond my bangs. "You prick, it's making me cold." I could feel the goosebumps forming over my body, and my nipples making small peaks. But I was uncertain if it was due to the cool water droplets or Christian being so close.

His tenor voice deep with devotion, deliciously sexy made me melt. He carefully dropped on top of me in between my legs. His wet board shorts, pressing against my core. He put his chest against mine and I then smacked him on his ass.

"You're freezing Christian… and wet!" I chortled.

"It's fucking fantastic, you should take a dip. It's good." He said never looking away from my gaze.

Christian took my glasses off my head and slipped them over his eyes. His lips touched mine and I couldn't help but buck my hips to his.

He rolled off me and rested his head on my chest. "This is nice."

I didn't know how to react.

He slowly moved his fingers down my torso, below my belly button to where I was carrying our daughter. His hand cupped a very tiny bump, or I could call it the cheese mound.

"Let's buy a _home_." He whispered.

"What?" I hummed. Trying to savoir the moment. I swear I must be dreaming.

"A house. Let's buy one. Not that one of course," he pointed to our Lake house, "but something like it… we need something bigger." and he continued to rub my belly.

I didn't push him away. It seemed right. "Really? _Bigger?_ " my voice squeaked.

He smiled, lifting my sunglasses away from his eyes. "Really." He nodded, "I like the water and away from the public eye. You really seem happy here. Honestly we can't live in a tour bus or hotels for the rest of our lives, Ana. Especially now." He kissed me again around the edges of my lips."So which coast, East or West?" He smiled.

Why is he unaffected from this? I'm practically melting at my core. " _Whatevs._ " I shrugged with a huge smile. It honestly didn't bother me, as long as I had everyone that I loved near by. That's all I needed.

He smiled, and kissed me again. This time it was a needy want and his tongue slipped in. I felt his hard erection straining between my legs, wanting to be freed from his wet board shorts.

He pulled away, trying to catch his breath.

"I've wanted to do that for such a long time. Thank you Ana." I pulled him down next to me.

"I don't want to leave here." I replied.

"Me either. So I'm thinking… I'm going to call Hyde later today and have him find us a realtor probably on the West coast." He paused waiting for my answer and I nodded. "I want us to have our own home before the summer is over. And also us guys need to tell him the tour is off with Lithium Springs."

"What the fuck Chris?" I tried to sit up, but his body pushed me down. "You can't cancel the tour at the drop of a hat!" I groaned. Doesn't he understand how much planning was put into this tour?

"Annie, we can't be traveling while your almost eight months pregnant."

"No." I shook my head. Touring was their life. My life. Our life!

"Sure I can. You can't tour with us that pregnant and there is no way in hell I'm leaving you home alone. Fucking Hyde will get over it." He made it sound so reasonable, but it only made feel guilty. It was my fault. He was cancelling something huge… all for me. I couldn't let him make sacrifices like that.

" _Christian._ " I whined.

"Don't even argue with me on this. We aren't changing our minds, us guys have talked and it's done."

"What and you didn't think to ask me to be a part of this conversation?"

"Ana, there was no need. There are more important things than a stupid fucking tour."

He kissed me again as his hands cupped my face. He began to grind his hips into my warm sex. It was unbelievably awesome and my argument quickly slipped away as a small groan slipped from my throat into his.

"Christian." I panted.

"Anastasia." I felt his smile as he said my name.

His hand made it's way down my body and I could feel he was caressing my core. I couldn't think straight. This is what I wanted. This… Christian touching me. His calloused fingers slipped into my bikini and I bucked my hips as I felt skin on skin.

"Don't stop, please…"

He continued to kiss me. It was slow and sensual with the sounds of small splashes of waves on the shore and the warmth of the suns rays from above. Christian lowered his board shorts and I felt him push my bikini to the side. He was hard and the head of his cock was at my entrance.

"I want you Anastasia… can I have you?" he sounded drunk, but no alcohol was involved with this passion.

"Fill me. I need you need to make flames. Please Christian."

I felt my arousal being whipped by the head of his cock and I most definitely wanted my fill. With one large swing of his hips he thrusted into me. I was tight, and forgot his girth I needed to accommodate. There was a pain but nothing compared to all those months ago as my virginity was snapped away.

We were slow, rolling our bodies as one making a single flame. Both looking eye to eye, we knew we must be quiet or the others would hear us. So we moaned into each others mouths and necks. As we grew close, Christian picked up speed and held his own release until he knew I was satisfied.

"Now that's what I call a vacay." He panted and looked at me with hooked eyes.

We refused to move and I didn't want Christian to leave me. I needed him still inside me.

"Have dinner with me," he continued to kiss my neck.

"Just… you and me?" I questioned.

"Yeah of course just you and me. Who else would come?" His brow wrinkled.

"Fine, I'll have dinner with you. Only because I'm hungry." I sarcastically answered ending with a small chuckle. "Wait… Hang on a second, you mean like a date don't you?" I tried to wiggle him away, and I felt his semi flaccid cock leave me.

"Yes a date, Anastasia." He winked.

…..

 _A date?_

A date? I don't have any clothes to wear for a date! I'm still flustered with out little love session on the beach and thankful none of the guys had privy to it. I have this little niggling thought that I should have said no. But everything else including my lips are screaming for more.

I looked around the master suite and all my clothing were everywhere. Jeans… Oh God so many pairs of jeans in a myriad of dark shades such as black, grey, maroon, purple with holes and rips. Then the horde of t-shirts, mostly tour shirts in black, grey and my favorite pink. The thing that made me cringe the most was my underwear. I have nothing that I would deem date worthy, let alone hot.

In a huge huff, I sag into my bed and stare at my now disaster of a room. Clothes tossed everywhere, there is even a bra hanging on one of the bedposts. Shit, I can't go on a date with Christian, my first fucking date ever in five year old jeans and a holey t-shirt!

There was a knock on my closed bedroom door, before I had the chance to get up and open it, Christian popped his head in. "Hey Ana, you ready to eat? I found this great place where there is so much chee—" His voice trailed off and his eyes got huge when he saw the chaos which surrounded me. " _Annie?_ "

Another huff of disappointment escaped me. "I don't have anything," I sniffed, "to wear." I sat there rubbing my nose hoping my tears will keep at bay only in my black boy shorts and cotton pink bra which was almost bursting at the seems.

With his brows knitted, Christian walked into the bomb site. "Well this," he waved his hands around "shows me differently. What seems to be the problem?" It was such a male answer. All he needed to do was walk around in his boxer briefs and it was enough for women all ages to go weak at the knees. Me on the other hand, I needed divine intervention.

"I only have old jeans and holey shirts. I don't own a dress… not a skirt or even a fucking denim one. All my panties are cotton and are basically thread bare and my bras are deemed old lady! Look I'm bursting out of them." My eyes began to blur over.

"Ahh yeah Baby Girl I can see." Christian blushed.

"Oh God. What the fuck is wrong with me!" I grabbed my pillow and tried to suffocate my self, giving the odd scream of horror and obvious mortification in front of this God.

Christian sat next to me and removed the pillow I was clenching and placed his hands in mine. "You want more clothes? Although to tell you the truth what you have on right now is fucking sexy!" I could hear the groan escape his mouth.

 _He thinks I_ _'m sexy?_

" _Chris_ …" I took a much needed deep breath, "Christian I want something nice I can wear on our date that you will want to tear off me with your mouth." I whispered, feeling extremely embarrassed.

"Fuck the date!" Christian quickly stood up, leaving me alone on the bed.

"Christian you can never back out on a date, especially after this afternoon when we—"

Before I could think what he was doing, he turned the latch on my bedroom door and suddenly there was this gorgeous man standing in between my legs at the edge of my bed.

"Get up." He held out his hand which I grabbed and was instantly pulled to my feet. His fingers went to my chin, forcing me to look directly into his stormy grey eyes. "Have I ever thought any different of you."

I couldn't help but bite my lower lip and I shake my head. He has always told me the truth. Maybe he has kept things from me for a reason, but he has never lied to my face.

"Then listen _Anastasia_ , because I don't want to keep repeating myself okay?" I nodded, mesmerized by the beauty of his face. "I will never lie to you. You are the sexiest woman I have ever met. You don't need more than a pair of ripped jeans, faded shirt and thin bare underwear… bursting at the seams." His finger traced my breasts bulging out of my bra and my face grew red. "This wants me to strip you bare with my teeth. Fuck Ana, you make me hard, just being in the same room. If I smell your perfume—"

"I don't wear perfume. It's soap." I giggled.

"Well that soap is fucking divine. I can't walk straight. I'm almost a three legged freak Ana." My breath hitched, and my mouth dropped open.

"Ever since I met you all those years ago, nobody else has come close to the way I feel about you. I mean it… I knew you were special."

Is it possible to forget the ability to breath because I swear it was happening. All my brain power focused on the pulse between my legs and the heat over my face. I'll cherish this moment forever.

"If you want those things… clothes, makeup, jewellery… shit then we will get them. Tonight, tomorrow whenever the fuck you want. But don't think you need to do that for me, only get them because you want them, Ana… because I want you more now standing there in just your underwear than I ever would in some tight dress and lacy lingerie."

" _Wwwhhhat?_ _"_ I stumbled on the word, _"_ You can't possibly mean that?"

"I'm serious Ana." He traced his fingers along the elastic of my boy shorts, making my head spin craving more of his touch. "So what do you want, Ana? For this to work we need to communicate."

My mouth only opened with a heavy breath escaping my lips.

"Do you want me to take you shopping?" He hooked his mouth with a cheeky grin.

" _Please_." I hummed. "Fuck the date exactly…I just want the kiss goodnight and possibly you showing me your talents using those teeth of yours."

He grinned and predatorily biting his teeth together, causing me to shiver deliciously. "I think I can accommodate this request." and Christian continued to chomp his teeth together humming on my neck.

…..

Our first night together had nothing on last night or even our impromptu romp on the shore of Lake Tahoe. Maybe it was because I didn't have to feel guilty for taking advantage of the guy, or having to hide how I really felt about him. It's embedded in my mind the the sound of him groaning out my name as he came and afterwards the hours of meaningless conversations in his arms until dawn broke.

Waking up to him pressed up against me in all our naked glory is a magical feeling. One hand cupping my full breast and the other laying protectively over where our daughter grew. It was the perfect way to rise and I wanted this for the rest of my days. Forever.

A kiss on my lips truly woke me from my daze "Morning, Ana." He breathed into my mouth. "Sleep well?" He smirked.

"It would have to be the best night's sleep I've ever had. You need to be with me more often." I stretched out on the large bed.

"I would need to agree with you. One of the best." And he pecked my lips once again.

"Really… only _one_ of the best?" I wasn't exactly thrilled about his answer.

"Yep." He popped the p and smiled showing his teeth.

My blue eyes narrowed. "So what were the other ones?" I was worried, I don't want him to say about a groupie, Lizzie or random chick. I don't want our special moment ruined.

"Oh, let me see." He sat up, putting his finger on his chin. It was hard to concentrate with his naked body for my eyes to see. "Well a few weeks ago when you crawled beside me on the bus. Oh the times you helped me sleep over the years when I was stressed. Then there was the time, you couldn't sleep during a storm and spent the night in my hotel room." He shrugged and his brows rose. "Some how they are all linked. You Baby Girl sleeping in my arms."

Okay well, that reassure my doubts. "I don't know why I keep you around sometimes mister." I pushed him back down on the bed. Those thick ebony eyelashes fluttered at me and I was transfixed for a moment with the sheer sexiness of his appearance.

"Let's grab a shower." He held me kissing my forehead, "Oh and I'm fucking starving!"At the suggestion of getting up and eating, my stomach grumbled. Christian grinned down at me.

"Starving for what exactly." He pushed me down onto the bed, parted my legs with his knee, pushing his hard cock into my sex.

Christian pushed onto my clit and the pressure was making me buck my hips. "I'm craving for you. But I know someone has other ideas."

Suddenly a flood of flutters hit my belly and I knew it was my special package growing inside of me.

"Ana, are you ok? You've gone all still on me. Even though this position of your hips is amazing." He smirked.

"No it was _her_ moving again."

"You can feel her?" His hand went straight to my lower belly. I couldn't stop smiling waiting for his reaction. "I don't feel anything? What… _her_. We're having a—"

"Yes Chris, we are having a little girl." We both kissed and there on cue my stomach grumbled. "Cheese?" He laughed into my chest.

"I'm going to hate cheese when this is all over."

"Probably." He kissed me, quick and hard, but no less potently. "Now get that sexy ass up so we can bathe and I can feed my two Baby Girls." Christian winked.

" _Cheese._ " I groaned and my mouth started to water. I felt a tad guilty it was for the diary product, rather than the rocker sex god in front of me.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **Three chapters and an epilogue to go… (let me just cry in the corner ok).**

 **I post teasers 24 hours before I update on my fb page (see my profile for links) and two fb groups - FSOG Fanfic Followers and FSoG Fanfic Obsessed.**

 **Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns.**

 **See you on Sunday for "** **Chapter** **21 - Poked, Prodded, Shattered" (APOV)**

 **missmusicteach**


	22. Ch 21: Poked, Prodded, Shattered

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER** **TWENTY-ONE** **:** **POKED, PRODDED, SHATTERED**

 _ **Annie**_

Maybe I would have been different if I had a loving mother and father. Maybe this would have resulted in a so called normal childhood. Maybe my time at school would have been a happy one. Maybe I would have had girlfriends constantly hanging out at the mall buying copious amounts of clothing, getting our hair colored and manicures.

But this didn't happen. Far from the illusion.

I had a drug addicted mother. A father who wasn't around or possibly even alive. My only true friends were four guys. These guys raised me, so it's no wonder why I have little to no interest in shopping.

Oddly, everything changed last night. It was the first time in my life I wanted to own something pretty, beautiful and with a skirt.

 _Oh God, this baby is making lose my mind!_

Now, I don't want to spend a fortune, I would probably have a panic attack if I spent more than a hundred bucks on an outfit. So after a long ride in the SUV, I ended up at a Shopping Mall.

A Saturday in a touristy city, during Summer. Yeah, that was a fucking great idea. Totally brilliant, can you strain your sight by rolling your eyes too much at your poor choices? I think I'm going to find out.

The sheer number of teenaged girls on the loose during the summer in a Mall is plain insanity? I had no idea! Who in their right mind would spend their free time here? I was positive Christian and I were clueless. So when we strolled into the first clothing store we could find, a scream from a short girl almost gave myself a heart attack because I wasn't expecting it.

" _No fucking way. Nooooo, it can_ _'t be!_ " A short red head was in front of Christian before I could figure out where the screaming nonsense was coming from. " _Holy shit. You_ _'_ _re Christian Grey!_ " The red head screamed again.

Of course the Earth stood still for a split second trying to grasp with the onslaught of what as about to happen. I felt a slight tilt as the stampede began. Customers, employees dropped what they were doing from every corner of the store and powered towards the squeal.

 _Fucking great!_

"Yeah, so I'm your biggest fan. Fucking. Ever! I'm _Anastasia_!" Christian hooked his brow and turned to me.

He was fucking smirking with a huge grin. The asshole. I could only shake my head and step back from the pandemonium.

At that very moment, it ticked over in my head our shopping exhibition was coming to an abrupt end. Of course that fiery red head was called _Anastasia_ , why couldn't it be Brooke, or Allison? You know bitchy bimbo names. It seemed as soon as she mentioned Chris' name, the female population within the Mall were going to their homing beacon. Lead singer, songwriter and guitarist of Burning Embers. Christian Grey.

Hands, fingers, shit there was even a leg trying to get close to him. I guess anything that they could get their hands or in someones case feet, on to complete the rocker fantasy.

With close to forty women surrounding him, it was killing me inside. I know I have hidden my feelings for him for years, but to see these little skanks physically touch him, it fucking bothered me. Today wasn't one of those days I could even attempt to hide behind the huge wall I have built for years. I was pregnant with his baby for fucks sake!

I watched him. He was beaming that golden smile, laughing and even encourage the touch of these children, women and even men. I had seen enough of the spectacle and walked away.

Was I jealous? Damn fucking right I was jealous!

…..

The sound of _Fall to Pieces_ repeated over and over on my iPhone.

 _Doesn_ _'_ _t he understand, I don_ _'_ _t want to talk to him right now?_

Staring at the screen I noticed I had messages too, but not from Christian.

* **ETHAN:** _Answer your fucking phone, Christian is shitting bricks_ *

* **ETHAN:** _I know he must have done something wrong. I_ _'_ _m more than happy to kick his balls if you like_ *

* **ANNIE:** _I want those balls_ *

* **ETHAN:** _Let me go get a bucket and vomit. Sis, don_ _'_ _t tell me that shit. Just answer your phone. Love you xxx_ *

 _Fall to Pieces_ repeated another three times. Seeing his face flashing on the screen wasn't helping. In my current grunge I continued to walk. Walk far away from, _him_. I couldn't even fathom facing his thermonuclear shit storm, there was no telling what I would have done in retaliation if I saw him up close.

A slap to his gorgeous face?

Knee him so hard in the scrotum that nut butter comes out of his mouth?

Confess that I was utterly in love with the guy and tell him I hate it when women are all draped all over him.

OH GOD! I couldn't do it? _Could I?_

" _Annie!… ANA!_ " I didn't bother to look when Christian's strangled voice bellowed out my name for the whole Mall to hear. Let him worry, stew regarding his actions. Maybe it will teach him a lesson not to be surrounded by desperate women and making me the afterthought! Fuck that and fuck you _Christian Grey_!

Walking at a fast pace, I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up much longer, suddenly a clothing store caught my eye. Mannequins adorned with lace, mesh, tulle, chains, studs and silk. Looks interesting, different probably just what I want. Behind the counter was a guy no older than 21 maybe 22 with black rimmed glasses. He was neatly groomed in a white button down shirt, not what was expecting after admiring the mannequins. Surprisingly there were tattoos around his neck and wrists. He did the rocker head tap acknowledging my entry and went back to scribbling on the paper on the counter.

So many clothes! Casual, lingerie, sexy bedroom and almost formal wear. I had to ensure they were a size or two larger than normal since maternity wear was hard to come by within the vicinity. The realization hit me, I'm going to get big. _Oh God!_

The guy behind the counter stared as I piled my chosen selection, practically the entire store on his register counter.

"So did you find everything you were looking for?" He asked as his eyes followed the clothes pilling up on the counter.

He was difficult to read, as I admired his tattoos I saw his purple outline of a pinky swear on half on his hand and I knew I had found a friend.

"My currently repertoire is dark denim and crappy disintegrating _Burning Embers_ t-shirts" I tugged on my pink shirt, noting another hole to the collection of many. "I think it's time for a change" I smiled at him.

His mouth grew a large smile over his face "Hey don't diss, the **B.E.** shirts are the best when worn." He lifted his white button down and there was a purple _Burning Embers_ t-shirt probably more than five years old.

"Well …" I gestured waiting for his name.

"Oh sorry, I forgot my name badge… it's _Mark_."

"Ok, Mark you have great taste in music as well as tattoos." I pointed to the one I liked.

Mark blushed at my complement. By the time the sale had run a total there were close to ten bags surrounding my feet. I passed over the credit card and watched Marks eyes when he read the name on the black Amex.

"CHRISTIAN GREY!" His hands dropped the card like it was on fire and covered his mouth. Oh God he was one of those fans, just great! More pandemonium! "Holy Hell, You're ANNIE WILKS. The Annie Wilks! I love you. You are one of the coolest chicks in the industry."

"Ahh umm, yes?" I squeaked unsure if he heard my muttering from being completely shell shocked, "You do realize I'm not a member of the band?"

" _Pfff_ , please you are the central core for those guys. You are the soul to Burning Embers."

I couldn't speak and my jaw lowered further. No one has ever said that to me before.

"Your struggles which you have overcome and built B.E to being the biggest band on the planet. Holy shit girl, how do you keep those four in check? Jesus Christ you are my fucking idol! I'm totally fangirling here… I wasn't sure if it was you, but you are…" He rubbed his face shocked that I was standing in front of him. "I need to confess, everyone says Christian is the hottest, I need to disagree Luke is my guy." He winked.

"Oh honey, Luke isn't gay." I laugh off the thought.

Mark hooked his brow at me, "Oh Annie are you blind? He's as gay as they come."

Gay as they come. Luke wasn't far behind Elliot with the title man whore. I couldn't help but want to quash his suggestion and take a selfie with so called Mark and send it onto Lukie. Within seconds I get a reply.

* **LUKE:** _Hot_ *

I am second guessing myself here?

* **LUKE:** _What_ _'_ _s his number? Can you ask_ *

"Mark what's your number, Luke wants it." For a split moment I think Mark forgot to breathe and continued to give his phone number.

"See," He smiled. "Gay" Mark giggled.

* **ANNIE:** _What the hell Luke?_ *

* **LUKE:** _His Tatts are awesome. I need to know the artist and shop._ *

"Nar, you've got it all wrong Mark." I bit my lip knowing I'm correct, not this random guy called Mark.

I sigh and was relieved by Luke's answer. _Jesus_ I'm not homophobic but I'm sure like I'm acting like one. Is this another fuckup mess due to pregnancy or am I just an asshole. _Oh God!_ Shit maybe he is gay but he's trying to hide the truth. I've been so obsessed over Christian that Ethan, Elliot and Luke's lives are just passing me by without knowing? I need to get my head together, finish this shopping and get back to the Lake House asap.

With the sound of heavy feet running towards me, I was broken from my thought and I turned to see two security guards either side of a disheveled Christian. I looked at my phone to see I have been in the store close to an hour.

"Chris, now before you say anythin—"

"Don't you fucking dare do that to me again Ana." He growled.

While I was collecting my new clothes, my pissed off anger had faded. But somehow it was making a sudden return. So gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. nothing more, nothing less.

"I figured you had your fan club to catch up on and didn't need to worry about little old Annie." I hissed.

His eyes deepened. "Was my girl jealous?"

I turned back to Mark who was mesmerized with Christian in front of him. It didn't bother me, I knew he was a true fan of the band and not just by looks. Ok maybe Luke's.

"Thanks Mark for your help today. Look Chris, I just spent close to twenty five hundred dollars without realizing it."

I pulled out a pink lacy blouse I had just purchase and grabbed the nearest marker. I autographed my name across the back and handed the item to Mark.

"Tha, thank-you."

"Oh and you probably have a message from Luke on your phone."

"No fucking way!" He laughed, almost choking on his saliva.

"Yes, fucking way." I smiled.

Mark pulled out his phone and I knew he was going to treasure his small gift.

" _Pssst_ ," I whispered as I lent into his ear " _and not gay_." I kissed him on the cheek winking at Christian.

To see Christian grow a deep shade of red, was just what I wanted. Jealously.

"Oh whatever Annie." Mark whispered back in my ear, "One day that bubble will burst. Thanks girl."

I choked on my slight cough. Will it? I waved Mark goodbye and headed to our parked SUV, hoping Christian follows with my expensive shopping in his grips.

…..

After my solo night refusing to allow Christian in my room, I was showered and dressed but refusing to head down stairs and play happy smiles for everyone this morning. So my large bed became my makeshift office.

Checking my laptop for emails, it was obvious Hyde was pissed due to the sudden cancellation of Burning Embers tour later this year, honestly I wasn't surprised. Since I wasn't there when the guys told Jackson, I'm not sure what details were provided to him, but I was full aware from the numerous emails in front of me the sick asshole was putting me at, I quote _the center of Burning Embers downfall costing me millions_.

So in true Annie Wilks fashion I gave him a colorful personal text message reply. A nice clear image of my middle finger, with the caption "swivel on it asshole"

* **HYDE:** _Pregnancy has really calmed down your bitchiness_ _…_ _Princess_ *

Not bothering to stir the pot further with Hyde, I cc'd my lawyer his lovely messages ensuring he receives the full brunt of this actions. I have more important things to do such as arrange a much needed prenatal appointment, since it's been close to a week since my discovery. My little girl.

…..

Rushing down the stairs, missing every second step, sometimes a third, I was in a hurry to make this last minute appointment. Ethan wasn't impressed with my so called carelessness down the steps.

"Sis you need to be more careful." He scowled.

"At least I know someone cares," I mumbled under my breath, since who knows where Christian was?

"What are you mumbling about now?" He rubbed his blonde curls unsure what I said.

"Oh, nothing," shaking my head quickly grabbing the keys to the SUV.

"And where do you think you are going Sis?" He put a hand on his hip, trying to be all authoritative.

"I have an appointment, with this highly recommended doctor." I took a deep breath, rubbing my almost flat belly, "There was a cancellation and they were able to get me in today. I'm going to be late if I don't leave within the next thirty seconds." I stared a him.

Ethan didn't move so I clenched the keys and made my way to the front door. As I got closer to the SUV I could feel Ethan's large presence behind me.

"What are you doing Eth?" I turned yelling a him. I needed to leave and he was making me late.

"Umm Annie, shouldn't Christian go with you?"

"Probably but I haven't seen him, plus my thirty seconds are up. I need to leave now." I groaned, I'm going to be late. Ethan opened the passenger side door and belted himself in.

"What?"

"You shouldn't go alone," He grabbed my hand.

"Thanks Eth I appreciate it."

I pulled out of the driveway and headed towards Carson City hoping I'm not too late for my OBGYN appointment.

…..

"Okay dear, I'll need you to fill out this." An elderly receptionist from behind the front desk handed a wad of papers to me, "they are back to back, and then insurance forms too." She continued to place a further four pages of various colors.

"Is all this necessary?" I flicked through the endless documents.

"I'm afraid so, it's standard procedure. You'll learn to love paper work, _trust me_." she chuckled.

I walked back to the seat next to Ethan. He could hardly fit in the small thing. I truly felt sorry for him, me dragging him out here where he should be enjoying his vacation, probably with some random chick.

"Forms to fill." I shook the pages in front of his face.

I was shocked to find two pages back to back on my period.

 _*When did menstruation begin?_

 _*How often is your cycle?_

 _*How long is the during of the cycle?_

 _*How many days are your menses?_

 _Menses?_ What the fuck is that? All I needed to do was elbow Eth in the ribs and point.

"Sis, how many days do you bleed?" He chuckled.

"How the hell do you know all this?" I was truly puzzled and I'm the one who has them.

As always his answer was a simple shrug of the shoulders and he continued to read the trashy magazine in his hands probably at least twelve months old.

"Ooh look Sis. We're in this one!" He pointed.

It was my 21st birthday last year, a time before everything got so… _complicated_. It was such a wonderful event and I enjoyed every second of it, from what I could remember. How did the paps even get access to the party?

"Damn Annie you looked beautiful that night." He turned looking at my face and that beautiful Ethan smile shone in front of me.

"And what, I don't now?" I rolled my eyes pushing his muscular chest.

"Don't even start me Sis! You're glowing."

He chuckled, continuing to read while I moved back to the dense questionnaire.

…..

Feeling guilty with my legs up in stirrups, naked from the waist down, there was only a thin plastic sheet covering my vagina. Ethan, as always my rock sat patiently beside me, waiting for the doctor to enter, but I had a hint of sadness. _He_ should be with me.

"Maybe I should call him." I whispered biting my lower lip, feeling guilty that Christian should be the one with me. "Can you fish my phone from my pack pocket of my jeans. And don't you dare… Ethan Owen Kavanagh… cop a look of my vag." I lowered my head back down, closing my eyes trying to a bay my nerves swirling in my belly.

Within thirty seconds Eth was back in his seat. "Ok out on the table, _literally_."he chuckled, "I took a gander. A guy needs to keep up his reputation being the chick whisperer you know. I need to understand … protocol… see how things work." He winked.

I was gobsmacked and my mouth popped open. " _Ethhhh_ _…_ " I groaned with gritted teeth, " _Whhhy!_ "

"Oh Sis, I'm just playing. I'm not looking down there, that's Christian's territory. Only in extreme circumstances my head will be between your legs."

I couldn't even speak. He wants his head in my crotch. Oh dear Lord!

"Meaning… if you want me at the birth, I would be over the moon." He patted my arm.

"Umm ask me when it's happening ok." Can this get any more awkward? "Phone please?" I held out my hand.

He handed over my phone. I tried calling Christian three times and each went directly to voicemail. I figured he was giving me a taste of my own medicine for not letting him sleep with me last night.

Dr Elena Lincoln entered the room and it was a shock to see a forty something woman looking utterly gorgeous, tall, slender with regal platinum blonde waves. She gave me a kind smile. Being weary of most women I meet thanks to my fucked up mother, I oddly felt comfortable with her in the room. Even if she was about to put her fist up my vagina.

"Hello Anastasia. It's nice to meet you." She snapped on her left glove.

"Ahh _Annie_ is suffice." I grinned.

"Annie." She turned herself to Ethan offering her right hand. "And you must be Dad. How exciting." Ethan gave her a solid handshake.

"Nope, one proud Uncle." Ethan pushed his thumb into his chest, giving the largest grin I've even seen on the guy's face.

"Oh sorry for being forward, I shouldn't make assumptions." She grabbed an iPad sliding her finger back and forth. "Well, Annie. Tell me a little about your pregnancy."

"I'm probably twenty weeks and it's…" I turned to Ethan, "Close your eyes Eth." He nodded and I continued with mouthing _it'_ _s a girl_ to the lovely OBGYN.

"You only recently found out?" I nodded with a grimace. "Okay let's get to it. I'm going to do a general pelvic exam, pap smear and check your overall health. Some blood work will be taken at the end. These are routine to make sure you and baby are healthy and of course on track. Since you are already half way along, I would like to do an ultrasound to get measurements and confirm your due date."

"Okay" I didn't know what else to reply with my legs wide open for her to see.

"First thing, the heart beat. I sat back and she removed my legs from the stirrups, and lifted my t-shirt. The blue gel was cool and a small white probe was pushed against my lower abdomen. She moved it around, pushing deeper and deeper until the sound of swoosh, swoosh, swoosh, filled the room. It couldn't be mistaken for anything but the heartbeat of my little girl.

" _Woah_. Sis this is phenomenal. Did you hear the heart beat at the hospital?"

"Yeah," I was nodding like a bobble head I was so excited. "I know."

"Holy shit." Ethan covered his mouth, "Sorry ma'am." He turned to Dr Lincoln. "Oh my God Annie, you're really having a baby!" He rubbed his hands over his blond curls, overwhelmed by my baby's heart beat.

Dr Lincoln snorted, "There is most definitely a little baby in Annie's tummy. No hiding it."

" _Uterus_ ," He corrected tapping the side of his nose.

"Ahh, we have a smart one here. Good. So we have a strong heart beat Annie." Removing the device, Dr Lincoln handed me a wad of paper towels to clean the gel from my stomach. "I'm sorry to say this, but this next part may be a little uncomfortable. Are you fine with Uncle in here while the procedures are completed?"

I looked at Ethan. Of course I was comfortable. When I had my first first period he was there with the tampons, pads, Tylenol and chocolate. It may be strange to say this now but he was the one who showed me how to put in a tampon. There hadn't been anyone else. It was always Eth looking after me and the health of my vagina. So having my first pap smear would only seem appropriate for him to hold my hand for support.

…..

I had been poked, stabbed, prodded and thankfully finished.

"Now Uncle can you ensure Annie eats soon." He nodded. "Now most of your blood results will be back within a few days, the other test will be a little longer. How long are you planning on being in the area."

"At least three more months."

"Perfect." She pulled off her gloves and tossed them in the trash before scrubbing her hands. "Now I want to do another ultrasound but my technician is not available today, so can you come back early tomorrow morning?"

Nodding at Dr Lincoln like a buffoon, I was over the moon with the delay in the ultrasound, of all people I want Christian to be with me for that. He was the father, the man I loved and should experience the magical moment.

As I stood up I felt a little dizzy but I was ensured it was only due to the blood work and Ethan helped me to the SUV. I was more than happy to throw the keys to him so he could drive the monster back. A quick stop for a fat burger, cheesy eggs and cold Dr Pepper and we were back on the road.

…..

Ethan squeezed the leather hand break as he jerked it back with his right hand. The SUV was finally stationary. Full of excitement I fumbled to unlatch my belt, once free I quickly walked with an almost awkward jiggle towards the double doors of the Lake House. I was buzzing from ear to ear from my positive appointment. I was bursting at the seams and needed to tell someone. Oh who was I kidding, I wanted to tell _him_.

" _Chris?_ … Christian?" I called in the foyer. As I made my way to the kitchen, I dropped my old tattered purse on the counter but the house was silent and still.

A slight vibration of heavy bass music pulsed on the far windows. Subtle movement outside by the pool deck caught my eye. My smile returned as there I found my other puzzle pieces: Christian, Elliot and Luke. But my grin was short lived as they weren't alone.

First of all there were girls. These were girls in skimpy clad bikinis. The girls were in scraps of material leaving nothing for the imagination, parading around not just my guys, but _my guy_.

My enthusiasm evaporated instantly.

My awkward walk of happiness turned into a dreaded dragging of feet over the tiled floors. The more I drew myself to the situation, the closer my heart broke into a million pieces. There weren't one, or two but three women nestled over Christian. I couldn't believe that he was laughing with them. Probably telling some inside joke that he has no responsibilities and who would commit to love. But how could he allow them to rub themselves all over him. _Oh God!_

I felt so cold and insignificant. Can I run and fucking hide, this is horrible.

"Sis, are we having a party or something?" Ethan questioned, rubbing the back of his neck.

Why have I fallen for the wrong Burning Ember? Ethan would have never acted like this, but then again I don't think I could have fucked my brother. Christian, why are you being such a dick and why do my hormones need to escalate the situation even more.

 _SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!_

I tried my best to swallow the thick saliva gathering in the back of my throat. I can't break down not in front of Ethan, not after our wonderful morning. This is ridiculous. I am happy, I am not going to cry over this. I kept blinking away the tears knowing it was only a matter of time before they were going to fall. "Well Eth, I don't think I got the RSVP."

Disgusted with the scenario playing in front of me, I quickly turned and made my way up the stairs. Ethan stopped me as I reached the fourth step.

" _Sis_ …" He sighed rubbing my shoulders, "Don't do anything stupi—"

I didn't give him a chance to finish. Of course this extemporaneous moment had no thought to it what so ever, other than Christian better be watching with his eyes wide open. I wrapped my arms around Ethan's neck and kissed him with all my life.

He pulled back curling his head to his chest to get away from my lips like I was a bad smell, looking absolutely mortified. Am I really that horrid at kissing? No wonder it's easy for Christian to lie.

"Annie. Now just stop and think. I know what you just did." He tilted his head to the side, wrinkling his brow once again.

"It's called a kiss Ethan." I put my hands on my hips, trying to win some dominance that I was surely lacking.

"No, that's called lets make that dick," Ethan pulled back his thumb over his shoulder, "Jealous. You're my little sister to me, so that kiss was as good as making out with regurgitated cardboard. Sorry honey," He brushed my cheek. "Christian wasn't even watching. I know for one you are going to be kicking yourself over this."

"You're going to _tell_ him." I grimaced knowing exactly I should have thought it through a little more than an impulse.

"No I'm going to _inform_ him that you jumped me like a hormonal crazy lady, and then I'm going to kick his ass for those three chicks stuck to him like glue."

Ethan's phone vibrated.

"Uhh no… he saw. He's made that very clear in his text" Ethan groaned rubbing his face. He held out the phone.

* **CHRISTIAN:** _I'_ _m just finding an axe in the maintenance shed. You better say goodbye to your cock n balls cos it_ _'_ _s going on the mantel._ *

"Don't worry, he may sound all thermonuclear but he would never hurt me." He laughed, thinking it was just all a funny joke.

I began to rush up the stairs, I didn't want to be reminded what I have done, "Oh Eth," pausing mid way up the stairs, clenching the railing for dear life.

" _Hmm._ " His head was looking outside, I could only assume the girls in question.

I snapped my fingers, and in an instant he flicked his head back to me with a frown on his face. "Are you coming with me in the morning?"

"But you said…" His face wrinkled.

"I don't want anything from him, it's too… arduous." Ethan began to shake his head.

I know he doesn't want me to think this way about Christian but we are complicated. It always has and I'm sure it always will be. So I blew him a kiss and he ate it up like old times. I ran up the remaining steps refusing to look back as I needed to make my room so I can cry alone.

Before my bedroom door was closed, the string of words " _Don_ _'_ _t worry sis, I_ _'_ _ll get his balls. Each one of them,_ "echoed throughout the house.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **Two chapters and an epilogue to go…What could possibly happen?  
**

 **I post teasers 24 hours before I update on my fb page (see my profile for links) and two fb groups - FSOG Fanfic Followers and FSoG Fanfic Obsessed.**

 **Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns.**

 **See you on Tuesday for "** **Chapter** **22 - Wicked Games We Play" (CPOV)**

 **missmusicteach**


	23. Ch 22: The Wicked Games We Play

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER** **TWENTY-TWO** **:** **WICKED GAMES WE PLAY**

 _ **Christian**_

"Excuse me… ma'am… _excuse me_." Biting my tongue while remaining calm was a challenge. I laughed at these women more irritated than flattered by their actions. I tried my best to untangle my limbs from the swarm. _Jesus was that a leg?_ "Sorry ladies…" I then noticed the trio of teenaged boys, _oh damn_ , "and guys… I really need to get going."

This was the norm these days. The obsessed fandom. The public fascination trying their best to get a piece of my every day life. How things can change in an instant. I desired it, all the fame the rocker mentality and of course the cash flow. Was I foolish? Was I blinded? _Possibly_. The flames of amusement, indulgence and satisfaction are only spot fires now, some even smouldering ashes. I want them doused out, it's not me anymore. I love my music don't get me wrong. I adore my band… _the band._ Oh God, the guys have been my rocks for years but priorities change when you want to settle down.

Releasing myself from the flock, my worried eyes glared around… _shit_ , she's gone.

Why would she run off like that? I thought she would be most understanding, regarding my situation being in the public eye.

My phone was in my palm before I mentally thought of removing it from my pocket. Scrolling to her name. Pressing call. I waited.

Shit, it rang out.

I called again and again.

 _Nothing._

My thumb was, being to form RSI in my thumb calling so many times. There was no point. She didn't want to talk. Gripping the phone hard, my joints ached as beads of perspiration formed over my hands. My chest was vibrating at an unknown rate as the uneasiness was causing my sight to blur. Glancing around the crowded Mall was impossible to spot out her favorite pink Burning Embers t-shirt.

 _Nothing._

I can't focus. So I resorted to calling her name, "Annie… ANA!" with my loud voice.

 _Oh God, where is she?_

* **CHRISTIAN:** _I can_ _'_ _t find Annie. I was mobbed by fans and then she was gone. I don_ _'_ _t know where she is? Fuck I don_ _'_ _t know what to do? What do I do Eth?_ *

* **ETHAN:** _Shit, ok first breathe. Second what the fuck did you do? Third she will be fine she_ _'_ _s an adult and not a little girl anymore._ *

* **CHRISTIAN:** _I'_ _m fucking breathing you moron. What did I do? I don_ _'_ _t know? Tried to get away from obsessed fans! She_ _'_ _s still young Eth!_ *

* **ETHAN:** _Ok she_ _'_ _s fine, pissed but fine. Do I need to get the axe?_ *

* **CHRISTIAN:** _What the fuck. NO! Where is she? She spoke to you? I_ _'_ _m fucking worried_ _…_ _I feel_ _…_ _like. Umm just tell her to answer her fucking phone!_ *

* **ETHAN:** _Sorry bro I have no idea. You really should keep an eye on her rather than the groupies. Oh Chris you numnut!_ *

Fuck well he's no help. Why is she being so wicked?

I began my search on the first floor. Every store: clothing or whatnot, especially at the back in the change rooms. When I reached the final store on the northern side I hit a point of anxiety. I wasn't going to be able to do this alone. With the support of Mall security the search continued.

A hum of craziness buzzed in my ears. Words. Lyrics.

 _I never dreamed that I_ _'_ _d meet somebody like you._

 _And I never dreamed that I_ _'_ _d lose somebody like you._

I was going out of my mind, my fingers gripped my long locks and pulled!

This wasn't Ana, she didn't just piss off without a word. This was far from her, most definitely not _my_ Annie. If she was livid, she wouldn't have wasted a fucking minute telling me what got her going from zero to bitch straight in my face. Of course making feel like an insignificant fool every time, but that's how things were and always done with her. So I knew there had to be something else wrong. It's really worrying… I can't believe I'm saying this, it's fucking breaking me.

The dreaded thought driving the SUV to the Lake House and returning empty handed. _No Ana_. I could imagine the beatings I would receive from the guys. Ethan would sure as fuck wouldn't hold back. I've already receive one and he was just giving me the warmup. The face would receive the first punch, then right in the heart. Ell and Luke would make sure I beg for mercy, maybe attach some kind of contraption to my balls and flick a switch. The possibility of any more children would be burning in my nasal hairs. Honestly did it matter? Physical pain is nothing but I worry about my own sanity if I can never find her. I never dreamed I'd lose her, but it's reality.

I was pacing the second floor and I was producing dead ends. The roots to my hairs were straining at my ever tightening grip. My throat ached and stung more after any concert. Everything was raw including the red rings around my eyes holding back the over flow of tears.

Why the fuck… _no_. How fucking dare she, to fucking wander off like a small child. She should act more mature than playing hide and seek with me in this busy ass Mall. Ana is twenty-one, for fucks sakes. She has priorities… like the BABY and hopefully ME.

I was up to three security and a fourth was on his way. We all halted outside the store called _Whips n Chains._ They reported to me, well obviously told me that she hasn't been found. They explained there was a small possibility she was having lunch on the third floor or headed back to the SUV.

"I'm grateful with your help gentlemen. I do realize this is highly unusual but I'm happy to pay you all for your efforts."

The three chuckled amongst themselves.

"I'm sorry, through the commotion I haven't even asked for your names." I gestured to the tall one on the right.

"Deuteronomy sir."

" _Jesus_ ," I rubbed my face, "call me Chris, please. _Deuteronomy?_ Is that Greek or something?"

"No sir… sorry Chris, it's Hebrew. But my friends call me Dewy."

"Right, and you," I pointed to his sidekick a whole foot shorter than Deuteronomy.

"Hughes, Chris." He nodded.

The bulkiest guy of the three called out, "I'm Lewis or Lew for short. Have I mentioned I'm a huge _Burning Embers_ fan," He held out his right hand. Me being the asshole I am I just looked at it and the thought hit me.

"Are you guys serious, _Huey, Dewy and Lewy_?" I rubbed my face, this must be a joke but they were oblivious to the connection I immediately made.

Suddenly a fourth man arrived.

"Sorry I'm late, I just finished my shift on the fourth. So it's Mr Grey, that is correct?"

"Yes it is," I liked this guy, nice and formal, "but before I continue, your name isn't Donald is it?" I chuckled under my breath.

He looked at me as if I had lost my mind, which I'm sure I wasn't far off losing it completely.

"N _ooo_?" He held the _o_ a little longer than I expected. Shit he does think I've lost my marbles. "But that would be my father, Don. I'm Zappa, yes my parents were Frank Zappa fans, but I try to go by Par."

"Thank you Par. Gentlemen lets get back to finding my girl."

The four nodded and we continued to discuss what options we had left before calling the police. I turned to look into _Whips n Chains_ and there she was. Right under my nose! Damn fucking right she'll be getting whipped and chained when I see her. She's never leaving my sight again.

…..

I zeroed in to my homing beacon. She has been fine the whole time, not a call, not a single message. Finally back to my Ana. My heart lifted into my throat for just a second and I felt I couldn't breathe as I looked at her. I paced towards her as my feet took over, fast. Ana grabbed her phone and she knew straight away it had been close to an hour she had been so called missing.

I was tempted to touch her, pull her hard against me, but I couldn't. I was twitching from head to toe. I was fucking pissed.

"Chris, now before you say anthin—" I cut her off with vexation.

"Don't you fucking dare do that to me again Ana." I growled as spit flew from my mouth.

My anger and violent tone didn't faze her. She just continued to look at her new purchases. Out of nowhere her lips crashed to mine for only a moment and then there was nothing.

A kiss. And then nothing! No laugh, no sweet Annie, no love. _What the fuck?_

"I figured you had your fan club to catch up on and didn't need to worry about little old Annie." She hissed at me as her cheeks flushed with displeasure.

Did she really think I wouldn't worry? Is she insane!

 _Oh my God._ I know… I know it! Why didn't I see this before?

I lowered my tone, wanting to eat her up, "Was my girl jealous?" It filled me with both hope and then dreaded the possibility that she is insecure.

She turned her head immediately to the sales guy with glasses. No answer, no bitchy comeback, not even a kick to the balls. Fuck! I was trying to hold everything in as I was chewing the insides of my cheeks.

Ana continued to mumble with the sales guy I now know is Mark. Her eyes were blank from any emotion as she whispered her words, "Look Chris, I just spent close to twenty five hundred dollars without realizing it."

 _Really?_ I swear my eyes must of bugged out. This is new for Ana, she never buys anything for herself, let alone twenty five hundred dollars worth. She continued to talk to the sales guy, a little too close and even whispered into his ear. What the fuck! Is she doing this on purpose or does she like him?

Shit she likes him, fuck this is not good at all. She's suppose to like me, possibly love me. Ana walked out of the store with a slight sway to her hips with me left to carry her endless shopping bags.

Me with my mouth wide open, ultimately shock and lost for words. I was her bag bitch.

 _Fuck!_

My eyes glanced in the bags to find a variety of sexy blouses and lingerie. My pants grew tight, straining on the zipper once again.

 _Double Fuck!_

…..

It's been years that I've felt like I meant nothing to someone. My parents and then step-father were really good at doing this. Now Ana. Maybe if I erase everything which was important as my mind replays, _Who cares? Who cares about her?_ I just need to move on, she's being immature over such small trivial things, but constantly the reminder of my heart whispers back Y _ou do care, stupid! Of course I do, I love her._

The pain was evident, not clear for both of us.

I would enter the kitchen, she would leave. Of course I would get three death stares. Thank you Eth, Ell and Luke with your ultimate support in this difficult transition of my life.

I would be swimming in the pool and she would notice me and turn the other way. The kicker was when the re-run of My Girl was on TV. Luke convinced her to come down stairs. She had the most beautiful smile on her face, until she saw me.

"Don't bother. I'll leave. Please watch it, I know you like it." And just like that I got up and went for a long walk down the lake.

By the time nightfall was here, I was frustrated, annoyed and of course desperate. I want everything to be like it was only a few days before. We were happy. We were, I guess a couple excited about our news. Now I just wanted to bend her over my knee and possibly tie her to all four bed posts so I know there will be no escape for her.

What the fuck am I thinking! I can't do that! She's so wicked making me think these fucked up thoughts and, feel this fucking way!

…..

My fist was in a tight ball ready to knock on Ana's bedroom door but I didn't have the will to do it as I stared at the grain of the wood.

"You know if you keep breathing like that, your breath might erode the door in about… I don't know, fifty thousand years." Ethan gave a smug look lifting his brows.

Gently I rested my head on her door ensuring if she was asleep she stays that way.

" _Soooo_ , she's officially kicked you out already?" He sniggered while shaking his head.

"Fuck off Eth, just… gaaah!" I slowly banged my hand over my head wishing it was a hard blunt object to either knock Ethan out or myself, I honestly didn't care. Thoughts of the axe I found in the maintenance shed came to mind but I'm sure it would make too much of a mess.

"No you fuck off Chris," Ethan pulled me away from the door, clenching my t-shirt.

It's evident he knows something I don't, he always had this sixth sense with Annie. Maybe that's when my jealously started when I was a teenager. _Jesus Christ!_ What is wrong with me!

I let out a much needed sigh, "So I spoke to Ell about—"

"Oh please God say you didn't. Chris, he may have had more than triple combination total between the lot of us, but he knows nothing about women. Yes he knows giving them an orgasm is important but that's about the extent of Ell's knowledge of the opposite sex."

"But he said…"

"Fuck you truly are blind aren't you? Jesus Christian, Annie is a smart woman. She's a lot smarter than any you have come across. Give her credit how she's feeling dumb ass." He pinched his brow and walked down the stairs.

Running my hands through my hair in frustration, I went into my room and slammed the door. Not bothering to shower, I fell on the bed and glared up at the ceiling. How the fuck am I going to get out of the dog house now?

…..

A new day. A new approach. So I hope.

After lying in bed for hours thinking through every scenario, I need to tackle the situation with the correct head screwed on and thinking about her perspective, not just my own.

I jogged down the stairs in a worn muscle tank and board shorts. I was surprised to see Ethan up so early camped in front of the TV watching _Long Lost Family_. I recognized it instantly, he was obsessed with the show when he lost contact with Kate.

" _Heeey_ …" My voice dropped in pitch as soon as I saw his tears. It was a site rarely seen by the bulky guy. Quickly he dried his damp face with one of the many throw cushions on the large couch. Damn he misses his sister. " _Ahh_ , Eth… so is Annie up?" and he shook his head and continued to watch the screen.

Luke was in the kitchen sipping on some ice water checking his phone. I guess he was getting ready for a run. Shoes, shorts, shirt, runners.

"Need a companion?" I bumped shoulders with him, hoping he will let me run with him. But with those two simple words he spat his water all over the counter, almost choking on the remnants in his throat. " _Dude,_ you ok?" I patted his back as he caught his breath, "I meant a running companion. Like an exercise buddy." I asked since I needed to work off some of my frustration before I saw Ana.

Luke raised an eyebrow, " _Right_ … A running buddy, hey Chris do you even run? Have you ever run? And you want to run with me?" He pointed to his chest, "In the woods? Really?" He continued to look down at his phone smiling.

"Yes, yes and _yes_. Hang on, why are you so happy?" I smirked. It was a little odd since usually he was disappearing, drinking or sleeping off the booze from the night before.

"One name. _Mark_." He chuckled and continued to mess with his phone.

"So are we doing this? Or are you just going to text this guy like you're in love." I laughed and regretted it instantly.

"Oh… ahh," rubbing his neck and his voice dropped a fifth which was rather odd for the guy, "yeah fuck that, I'm not in love." He almost grunted, "And it's not what you think. Truly." He winced.

"It's whatever - I don't care, let's go. It seems like a good idea, so come on!" I put his phone on the counter and start jogging on the spot. Of course Luke started laughing. I retaliate with a single middle finger salute.

…..

I need to remind myself. This was my idea. It was a fucking terrible idea. I have never run a mile in my life. Ok maybe in high school, but I remember why I would fake an asthma attack to go to school nurse… because it was child abuse. Now in my thirties it's pure insanity.

I hit the halfway mark before my legs felt like concrete. Running on an uneven surface is fifty times harder than any treadmill. Fuck me! I stopped trying after the first few minutes, so I could ease the burn roaring in my lungs and the epileptic heart rate in my chest. I need fucking liquid, _Jesus_ I'm so fucking dehydrated.

" _Wateerrrr,_ " I whined to Luke.

I think when I get back to the Lake House I'll drink until I drown. As long as I can successfully climb forty steps to the back door. I'm not sure how I'll do it, without the help of several energy drinks and possibly alcohol.

 _Please God shoot me now!_

Luke laughed and jogged on the spot and continued with a few stretches to his legs and arms. Take note, not even cracking a sweat. Me on the other hand I was drenched, causing a mini flood around me.

"Chris, we aren't even close to a mile. Are you sure you're not having a heart attack or something?" Luke chortled.

The look I gave him could have killed him instantly. That is if I could have seen him through the salty sweat dripping in my eyes, possibly if there was no pain in my legs or if I could even feel them. Luke would be a goner as I would have jumped and throttle him, but I'm too fucked.

"You're more out of shape than I guessed." He continued to laugh. "So, are your muscles just contoured with makeup or some shit? How do you even parade across the stage during a concert, or is that for your stunt double?" For the second time today I gave him the middle finger salute since I was unable to catch my breath to tell him to go fuck himself.

By the time I could breathe without panting or crying like a baby we had attracted some attention from a camp site nearby.

Luke called out and I knew they were girls… groupies, I'm sure of it. They have this demonic look to their eyes, wanting only one thing, a _Burning Ember._ Shit I don't think I could run from them. Legs, concrete, lungs, fire.

Gritting my teeth, I reluctantly stood with an added fake smile slapped on my face. These women were barely covered, apparently they called them bikinis but I wasn't too sure. It just looked like three small patches and string to me. Luke was lapping up the lady attention, never touching, but they were sure as hell touching him.

They began to open their mouths and if anything, I grew bored the more they spoke. Not surprisingly, Luke convinced the girls to come back to our Lake House.

 _Fucking great!_

By the time I hauled my concrete legs back to the Lake House, it was a little too quiet. Ell had just got out of the shower and for some reason Ethan and Ana were missing with the SUV. If my legs weren't so heavy I would grab my phone from my room, but I wasn't even going to attempt the stairs in my current state. I'm thankful Luke grabbed it for me. It was off and as it was rebooting I slid it in my pocket.

It got me thinking. Why were Ana and Ethan together? They always seem to be together. Of course I trust Ethan more than my own blood brother Elliot. I know now he doesn't see Ana the way I do, but with all this extra time on my hands my mind can play stupid tricks. The longer I waited for them to return, the more stupid my brain became.

Obtusely I made the decision to head outside with Ell, Luke and the swarm with fake tits. The guys turned our pool area into a party house. Booze, heavy music and minimally clad women. I guess the true rock-star party.

My ears pricked as I heard the SUV pull into the driveway. Instantly I grabbed three of the girls and let them cuddle up to me. The neolithic man in me needed to know for sure if what Ana had felt the day before came close to how jealous she could make me. Ok, I'll admit it, deep down I was still hurting over her little make-out session with Javi. I just want to give her a little taste of her own medicine, just so I know her feelings are real for me.

She was there. A nice warm glow over her face, but stupidly I refused to remove the girls from me. I just wanted to rub it in a little more and randomly chuckled at their stupid conversations about God knows what.

I'm such a fucking asshole.

I watched her. Her every move. The shocking reveal as it finally came to head was when Ethan kissed Ana. So it was all bullshit. He does have feelings for her.

I'm not the asshole, Ethan is the fucking asshole! Jesus under my nose the whole time.

Grabbing my phone I noticed the missed calls from Ana earlier today, but I had no time, I needed to let Eth know what I saw and what was going to happen.

* **CHRISTIAN:** _I'_ _m just finding an axe in the maintenance shed. You better say goodbye to your cock n balls cos it_ _'_ _s going on the mantel._ *

I couldn't resist but ask the girls to come close to me again.

…..

I could hear the Hulk before I could see him, he towered over me and the girls scattered away like rats.

"You're such a dick, Chris."

"Me!" I was shocked, did he even realize what I saw. He was kissing _my_ girl. _My Ana_.

"Jesus Christian, I didn't kiss her. She kissed me. Trying to make you jealous. You on the other hand, what the fuck!" He pointed towards the girls.

Fuck.

"Do I need to mess up that pretty face of yours?" Ethan question cracking his knuckles.

I shook my head. A wave of guilt washed over me and I sighed. "Shit, Shit, Shit… I was… and then… but I…. Fuck!" Now I've even dug a deeper hole. Once again not thinking.

"You better fix this. She was actually in a really good mood and wanted to talk to you, but—"

"Yes I know… I've fucked it up."

With a sad attempt running up the stairs my legs still feeling like lead, I stood outside her room. Refusing to knock I turned the handle only to be stopped by it being locked. I was probably lucky since we both need to cool down before speaking with one another. I love that girl with all my heart, but she could really be a stubborn little bitch at times. Of course, that's what I like most about her.

…..

After watching a shopping channel on the tv for close to three hours straight, I finally made my way up the stairs to my bedroom. Despite being an emotional mess, stressing about Ana and a future a hope we can have and I doubt I'll ever be able to run a mile (again).

I glanced at Ana's closed door stopping myself from opening it, but with the aching pain within my chest I knew I still needed to wait. I blew my chance, being behind that door. I could be cuddled up to her, stroking her hair, admiring her beautiful body. My cock throbbed at the thought being inside of her delectable body. Grimacing, I bypassed my bed and headed for a long cold shower. I needed it.

You never know when inspiration will hit. At this moment it was close to midnight.

I grabbed my favorite leather bound note book with the iconic flames and Phoenix girl. My pen took over and scrawled wicked almost heart breaking lyrics. These words and a combination of simple chords poured out on the page in only a matter of minutes.

Using my acoustic Gibson, I messed around with a repetitive melody and riff under my picking fingers. B minor, A Major, E Major. The pattern repeated over and over. My voice harmonized the chords humming and cooing a haunting tune all in my head voice. Introduction, verse, chorus, verse, chorus, verse, chorus and it was ready.

It's such a wicked game she plays my muse.

 _The world was on fire and no one could save me but you._

 _It_ _'_ _s strange what desire will make foolish people do._

 _I never dreamed that I_ _'_ _d meet somebody like you._

 _And I never dreamed that I_ _'_ _d lose somebody like you._

 _No, I don_ _'_ _t want to fall in love._

 _No I don_ _'_ _t want to fall in love._

 _With you._

 _What a wicked game you play to make me feel this way._

 _What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you._

 _What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way._

 _What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you._

 _And I wanna fall in love._

 _No, I wanna fall in love_

 _With you._

 _The word was on fire and no one could save me but you._

 _It_ _'_ _s strange what desire will make foolish people do._

 _I never dreamed that I_ _'_ _d love somebody like you_

 _And I never dreamed that I_ _'_ _d lose somebody like you._

 _No, I wanna fall in love._

 _No, I wanna fall in love_

 _With you._

 ***WICKED GAME - Chris Isaak**

…..

I was wide awake still guitar in my grasp when I heard a vehicle pull up in the driveway. I slowly made my way to the large window over looking the front of the house, refusing to remove my guitar from my grip. It took me a few moments to really register what I was seeing and then my heart shattered.

It was a taxi and Ana was standing there talking to the unseen driver who had yet to get out of the car. The only glow was from the garden solar lights along the drive, but it was clear that a number of cases were stacked next to her. I hadn't even thought the possibility of Ana… running. She had been a part our lives for over fifteen years. She had stuck with me and the guys through thick and thin, but now she was leaving Tahoe. She was leaving us guys. She was leaving… _me_.

My guitar slipped through my fingers, just like my girl.

* * *

 **AN:**

 **WICKED GAME** **\- Chris Isaak 1989. Please take five minutes of your time and listen to this acoustic cover version by Chase Eagleson. Found here - youtube dot com / watch?v=7Qwk4sBYfM0**

 **One to go… and epilogue…**

 **I post teasers 24 hours before I update on my fb page (see my profile for links) and two fb groups - FSOG Fanfic Followers and FSoG Fanfic Obsessed.**

 **Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns.**

 **See you on Thursday for "** **Chapter** **23 - Confessions" (APOV)**

 **missmusicteach**


	24. Ch 23: Confessions

_*****SURPRISE! I'M SUPER EARLY*****_

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **CHAPTER** **TWENTY-THREE** **:** **CONFESSIONS**

 _ **Annie**_

Every book I've read advises you glow while pregnant.

 _The glow of an angel as your body grows the being within your womb, preparing for the glorious birth of your child._

Glowing… _really_? Angelic… _please!_ The birth… _next question_.

Well it's been over a week now since I've discovered my pregnancy and I'm still waiting for this damn glow. Instead, I'm hit with these hazardous pregnancy hormones and fuck they are a scary thing.

It's not like I'm waiting for the stars to align. No, just my fucking hormones.

I thought my PMS was bad most months but these are off the charts, on a complete new plane of existence. They leave me changing my sheets due to endless tears of jealously, then I'm burning up with rage in a matter of minutes. _Cranky with a touch of psycho,_ I heard Ethan call them one day. And thank you Ethan, that makes me feel _so_ much better. _Oh God,_ I want to cry!

Every emotion and feeling makes me re-evaluate every significant or frivolous action I'm trying to take. Currently my mind wants to blow as fast as the wind out of here. Away from the only life I've ever known. Away from my family that's sheltered, protected and loved me. But God damn they make me so mad.

I'm genuinely pissed at Christian's latest endeavors, however I'm not impressed with my own efforts trying to lock lips with my brother-best-friend. So the only way I seem to sort things out these days, is to lock myself in my bedroom and hope. Fucking hope my hormones align.

I want out. I'm over and done. With my mind currently in conflict with fifty emotions, all I can decipher is the desire for these four guys, predominantly Christian gone.

 _I want them to go_ _…_ _No I need them_ _…_ _I want to leave_ _…_ _I have_ _…_

Shit, ok. I have no idea what I want. I'm a muddled mishmash, on a collision course somewhere between my head and heart.

My forever memory is my four guys, my family. After Carla OD-ed, I was able to live with them on the road. I finally had a _home_. A home with _my_ guys, my safe haven. Christian my guardian angel. So warm, burning with tender care.

My crazy mind gave the impression as long as I was surrounded by these men, I will never need to worry about anything again. But a safe haven shouldn't be a battle field, with endless landmines causing you to burn. The real world is already fucking hard enough. Now I'm contemplating leaving them behind. Letting the war play it's destructive course without me being a part of it. That's the scary thought but the needed action.

I scrolled and clicked for hours over the laptop on my bed. Searching for what I needed. Instantly I pulled my banking details on the small screen to see exactly what it contained.

With my mouth wide, I was oblivious with how much I had.

 **Everyday Acc:** $23,588.02

 **Savings Acc:** $4,502,888.00

 **College Fund:** $230,000.01

I'm astounded. I have millions to play with.

Yes Hyde, the misogynist douche and the biggest asshole around, was a winner when it came to paying his employees, quite generously may I add. I had this sad pang in my chest, seeing my unused college fund and the thought it will probably remained untouched. Maybe this money can be for my daughter. _My_ baby girl.

Everything will be fine. It's going to be ok.

I will not be the moth drawn to his smouldering flame. I know I'm scurrying away like a bug, but nothing will exterminate me, not even Christian's heartbreaking behavior. I'm not sticking around for his poison to consume me alive. And I would be damned if I let him hold some kind of voodoo power over my hormonal state once he realizes I'm irrevocably in love with him.

Over the years I've become an expert with packing and only keeping essentials, but with all these extra clothes from my stupid clothing expedition I'm tight for room. My eyes locked onto the small box that I've carry around since I was seventeen. My few memories before Burning Embers and before they were _my_ guys. I opened the yellowing paper and admired the handwritten vague letters from my father to my mother. They were in love, and they loved me. Holding the doll Ell and Luke gave me when I was about seven, she was beautiful but nothing compared to the doll my father gave me. I just wish I got to know him, but it's too late. I'll never know.

 _Oh God_ , my fingers brushed the tears away and I quickly zipped my bags which were bursting at the seams, slipped my laptop into it's case and iPhone in it's designated office.

Then it begins. The long wait for silence.

…..

It was well into the early hours once everything was still. The house was undisturbed and a blanket of cold eeriness covered the shadows. Of course making me second guess myself and jump at every freaky thing. Once all perimeters down stairs were checked, I swiftly tip-toed back to my bedroom. I refused to check the guys rooms, especially _his_. I didn't need another surprise waiting for me in there like a bikini clad woman or worse naked.

My voice was straining to speak, "Hi, can I please get a taxi at…" I said to the operator instructing a driver to arrive quick and discrete.

I dragged my luggage outside one by one, as quietly as I could. The taxi pulling up the drive way when I saw the headlights reflect over Christian's window. My heart stopped when I realized he was standing there watching. I turned away trying my best not to look back. Banging my hand on the back of the vehicle, the driver popped the trunk, and I rapidly threw things in knowing freedom was still so far away.

I was frantic to leave.

The back passenger door was locked, and I kept trying to open it.

"Please driver…. hurry open it." I rushed as I begged the old man.

" _Annie!_ " Christian's voice was faint from within the house.

SHIT SHIT SHIT

"HURRY! I need to go, like now!" I was so frantic, my heart was pounding out of my chest. Every time I pulled the door handle the driver locked the door again by accident.

" _Stop!_ " Christian shouted. "Ana, what the fuck are you doing?" Finally the door opened, but he reached for me before I had the chance to sit. His fingers locked around my waist as he jerked me around in one swift moment.

Our bodies were face to face.

NO, NO, NO. I wont have the courage to leave, if I look at him.

"Ana," He shook me hard causing my long bangs to fall away from behind my ears, "Ana… _Baby Girl_ … Where are you going?" His voice failed.

"Ahh Miss, do I need to call the cops on this fella?" I saw the driver holding his phone ready for my instruction. I shook no as Christian would never hurt me, physically.

"Jesus Christian. I'm going away. Away from you," I spat in his face.

The landscape lighting lit his face. His stubble caught me by surprise but as my eyes moved to his they were stormy and livid.

"Fuck that!" His brow creased, "There is no way in hell you are leaving." His voice broke twice, becoming breathy and erratic. Christians arms tightened and engulfed me, causing me pain to moan under the pressure of his fingers. He refused to release me with the slight wiggling I tried with all my strength to escape. "Have you lost your mind? You are not leaving. Not me, or the guys. Get your sexy ass back in that fucking house." He growled.

My breath hitched at the word _sexy_. Hang on, he's demanding me to get back in the house!

"Why?" I pressed still being crushed into his chest, " _Really_ , why should I stay? So what? To humiliate me, make me feel insignificant, rub everything in my face." A humorless chuckle escaped my mouth. "Thanks, but no thanks. I'm tired of these games we are playing Chris. I'm tired seeing the women cavorting from all directions. Tired of dreaming of something I know I can never have."

"WHAT?" He shook the word out, pulling me back. "What the fuck are you going on about?" He commanded, squeezing my small shoulders.

"I… you…well—" I muttered trying to form at straight sentence but I'm failing miserably.

" _Ana_ …" He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "There hasn't been anyone in my bed for over a year…. probably more." Christian rubbed his neck and quickly started counting on his fingers. "Fuck, it's only been you that I've wanted. It's taken me a lot to realize this myself. Are you as blind too? Can't you see how I genuinely feel about you… how I've always felt about you?"

Confusion hit me, shock and worry to be precise. " _Feel about me?_ " I whispered under my breath and wasn't sure if Christian caught my words.

Christian pulled back his head and I could see his adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed what ever was gathering in his mouth. Returning his face to mine, his eyes slowly closed. "Please, Ana." His eyes opened, the storm now calmed. "Come back with me into the house. We can talk… Don't leave… don't leave me. _Please._ " His deep voice begged.

I was lost. I was adamant I knew what I wanted. Like leave, far, far away.

Shit, I didn't know what to do. My brain was screaming _get your ass into that taxi and go_ _…_ _now Anastasia_. I knew I couldn't possibly bring this baby into our world of rock concerts, partying, drinking, the random woman. But why was my heart feeling like it was breaking in two.

I closed my eyes trying to think but my mind was foggy.

 _Just shut up, shut up_ _… don'_ _t go with him Ana_ _… don'_ _t go into the house Ana. You know better._

RUN RUN RUN.

Opening my eyes to the indecision on Christian's face, he looked at the taxi driver to unload my things. He tipped the old man, always holding me in some way, a pinky hooked to mine, a foot resting against my own. His arms immersed me once the taxi had pulled out the driveway and red tail lights dimming to black, ensuring I wasn't going to leave by foot.

"Come on you." He rubbed his hand over my cheek.

…..

My dry mouth glued closed and my scuffed Converse sneakers followed him towards the dark Lake house. Christian dropped my belongings with a thud in the foyer, making me jump to the echoing sound. With a swift movement his calloused hand locked into mine, tugging my body up the stairs, towards his bedroom.

He stood behind me, his eyes never leaving with my sight. A sudden _click_ of his door and the realization hit, I was locked in Christian's room. Again his right hand went straight to my own and his left hand gestured to sit on his bed. Without a notion I accepted with a small token nod. Once again he refused to leave my touch, even when he crouched on the floor before me.

His room was dimly lit as I scanned the space. My eyes scurried to find any evidence of women being in here. But there was none. Only an unused bed, his Gibson and a pen sitting in the middle of his leather note book.

"You've been writing?" His head bobbed. "That's wonderful Chris. I'm sure the guys will like it, well the label might stop harassing—."

"Stop changing the subject Ana." His tone dissonant and instantly tipped his head at the rug below his knees, picking at the fibers with his free hand, "Where were you going Baby Girl?" His voice hoarse grating the dense air in the room.

"Away. Away from it all, some place free from the women, groupies and skanks." My words jeered but it was the honest truth.

The twisted grimace blanketed Christian's face. He took his time to answer my hard fact. "Are they really upsetting? The fans. _The women?_ "

I glared," _Really_ ," Rolling my eyes once or twice, "What do you think asshole?"

I couldn't believe he laughed in my face. _What!_ Because he was happy I was being a bitch?

"I don't want this baby subject to those women on a daily basis. Or should I let her see what you really are like; the egotistic rocker who has a thing for groupies, especially while they are dripping off your body. While her mother… _Me_ needs to observe off stage?"

His head flicked to the side like I had physical slapped him. "That's how you feel… what you, anticipate. That you'll be pushed to the side?" Christian released my hand and cupped my cheeks. The tears were ready to fall. I didn't want this. I wanted to run, to leave. But… _oh fuck you Christian_. "I want you beside me… you and only you, forever." His voice murmured.

I snorted so hard phlegm caught in the back of my throat and it made me nauseous. Swallowing the taste was difficult but I needed to press on, "You're only saying these words to get me in bed, and to stop me from leaving."

"Well is it working?" He tilted his head toward the bed I was sitting on, adding the tiniest smirk to his face.

 _Damn it!_ Shaking my head, I was confused. So damn confused. "Those words are hard to believe… since yesterday you were letting those skanks rub up against you, and the day before the swarm pushed me away. What do you expect me to believe? You or the numerous women?"

"Jesus, you're jealous!" He chuckled.

I scoffed as my fist wanted to punch him in the throat as he was in the perfect position for it. I couldn't, rather I smacked him over the head.

" _Ouch_ , Fuck Ana." He quickly soothed, I assumed a stinging skull.

"Why do you find it so funny? It's far from hilarious Chris. Of course you wouldn't care as my heart shatters a little more each time I see it."

"Oh _Baby Girl_ ," He smiled, "You have to open those beautiful eyes of yours." He sighed again. "I only had… well… the only reason those women were wrapped around me was so I could find out the truth. The truth that I suspected. Then you went off and kissed Eth, which by the way I thought it was the other way round. But my suspicions were confirmed loud and clear."

"What are you going on about?" I was utterly lost. I'm not sure if it was due to the hour or the last few days dramas.

Slowly a smile grew over his face. "I had to know for sure, that you feel as deeply as I do. Ana you have been driving me insane with jealousy for…" He titled his head back again, I guess trying to gather his thoughts, but watching his adam's apple bob again, I was hypnotized. "Do you know I have wanted to kill my best friends in a various ways for years… it's been a challenge to keep these," He held up his two palms, "Going around their throats."

My eyes bulged, and my bottom lip dropped, "Oh my God. Why would you want to do that to them?"

"I guess the same reasons why I lost it when you told me you were pregnant…" His hand went to my little tiny belly. "I've never wanted anyone touching you. You are _mine_ , you have always been mine. Fuck I sound like a possessive caveman, still I don't care! I'm sorry it's taken forever and a day to admit it, not only to myself… but to you. _Jesus_ … When you are with Ethan… _God_." He closed his eyes, "Or when you kissed Javi. It broke me Ana. That night… the night you were in the hospital, Javi tried to call me and I turned off my phone. I couldn't see straight, I was a raging bull full of jealously. All I wanted that night, when I played your song was for you to jump into my arms on stage—"

I couldn't speak, he was pouring his soul out bare. Once again I was gobsmacked collecting bugs in my mouth.

"You were gone Ana… I lost it. I stormed off, only thinking _He_ was yours. When I gave in and turned my phone back on, the messages were endless. When I listened, I— " He broke off swallowing hard. "You were severely ill, unconscious and here I was acting like some impatient infant because you didn't follow my plan, only I knew."

His song made me anxious as my heart ache. I tried to forget as he was obviously in love, with a woman.

"I'm sorry Chris. I didn't hear the end. I threw up and that's when things got hazy. It's was clear the song was about you… _in love._ " The last word was a whisper and I had to gnaw on my bottom lip to keep it from trembling.

He moved closer to me, hands either side of my face. "I'm going to spell it out clearly. Please listen Ana, don't talk. _Just listen._ I have been a jealous fool, not realizing that you couldn't see what you had done to me." His lips brushed mine.

"But—"

" _Shh_ , listen." He whispered. "Yes I am in love." He began to sing, into my mouth.

 _'Cause it's you and me and all the_ _guys_ _with nothing to do, nothing to lose_

 _And it's you and me and all the_ _guys_

 _And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you_

The lyrics were beautiful and the last part tears spilled from my eyes.

 _And me and all the_ _guys_ _with nothing to do and nothing to prove_

 _And it's you and me_

 _And I don't know why I can't keep_ _way from_ _you_

I have been blind, shrouded by smoking ashes.

 _What day is it?_

 _And in what month?_

 _I'_ _ve never_ _seemed so alive_ _…_

 _With you Baby Girl._

 _I Love you._

 _Oh My God!_

 *** LIFEHOUSE - YOU and ME (lyrics slightly altered)**

Why was I refusing, desperately hiding this for so long? He has been showing his admiration but the little ignorant girl I am, never got the clue.

Ever since I met Christian, things have been different compared to Ethan, Luke and Elliot. There was always something stringing us together, wrapping us as one. I realized this when I lived with them at seventeen. I knew it, but refused to acknowledge my feelings, hiding them within heavy flames. I was scared if I had shown it, I would have incinerated, burnt alive. I didn't want to lose hope I had set. My little spark. My little ember.

He kissed me again while his fingers caressed my cheeks.

"I love you, with everything inside. I love you with all my heart. You are my favorite and only dream come true… I never want to let it go. I need you Ana, Anastasia Wilks."

"Forever and a day." I whispered. "Every time, I was in trouble you restored me. I was reborn like the Phoenix." I turned and looked at his leather bound note book.

 _Oh my God, it_ _'_ _s been me on his cover all along in plain sight._

"You warmed me in the embers when I was down, and together our flames are strong. But watching you with those women, _Lizzie_ …" I gulped "It killed me. I wasn't stupid, I knew what you were doing with them."

"I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry. They meant nothing, I swear. They were just trying to distract me because I knew I could never have you. I thought I was turning into some sick pervert. I'm embarrassed to say the things I thought. I honestly hated myself, it wasn't right. Ray, Ethan and the guys they helped, they made me realized it was you. I wanted you." He rubbed his stubble. "The dreams started a few years ago, I would wake with the biggest boner and it would take all my will power to stay out of your arms. I knew it couldn't be reality. That's why our night together didn't surprise me. I just thought it was another dream a fucking amazing one, but only a lucid fantasy."

"You never said my name, I didn't think you knew it was—"

"Oh I knew Ana. That night was more than I could have ever aspired for."

He kissed my lips again, and again. Pulling away his warm breath began, to speak. "When you disappeared at the mall I went …"

"Crazy?" I sniggered.

" _Shhh,_ listen. A… little crazy." He laughed, pinching his thumb and index finger together. "I couldn't find you and I had the worst feeling in my gut, that something horrible had happened. Then tonight you running, realizing you would leave without a word… you were leaving me."

"But those girls. It's always the girls, Christian. I couldn't. I, I, I thought…" Tears dripped from my eyes and clogged my throat. I was speechless.

"It was fucked up… a wicked game where we were both players. We were so jealous, I see it now. Nothing more. I've written songs, planned our dinner date, organized our future. I am yours. I am in love with you. Please don't leave over my stupid actions. I need to know. Tell me. _Please_ God tell me." His nose brushed my own, the warmth of his breath made me shiver with excitement.

"I love you." The words came with ease as the heavy weight released.

Christian let out a huge sigh and cupped my large breast.

"I love you Christian. I now know I can never leave… _my_ guy. I can't, I love him too much." I squealed as I jumped into Christian's arms making him fall back on the floor.

The urge was primal and needed.

My legs tightly wrapped around his taut waist as I quickly plucked off his shirt. His muscular chest was simply stunning.

"Have you been working out this week?"

"No just running a few miles." He winked.

Our mouths smacked against one another, with downright intense rawness.

There is a time and place to go slow and fuck now wasn't one of them.

Our possessed hands stripped our clothing, leaving only my panties and his boxer briefs. My mouth couldn't determine where it wanted to taste him next as his groans were mesmerizing, pooling my pleasure between my quivering thighs. I moved from his lips ,kissing the base of his neck. My teeth nipped and gnawed his chest as my tongue danced over his sparse chest hair and rippling muscles. Christian reciprocated engulfing my sensitive nipples as the pleasure washed over me as my fingers raked his scalp.

I moved back expeditiously sliding his boxer briefs down, watching his cock spring from its cotton cage." _Oh God_ " I gasped as I struggled for air. My eyes were glued to his rigid cock. To say I was caught off guard was an understatement. My big guy.

"You want it, Ana?" Christian panted as his eyes grew heavy with desire.

 _Of course I wanted it._

He cradled his arms around me like a small child, carefully positioning me on his bed. My head fell back against the pillow as my hair fawned out cursing. It will be difficult to tame tomorrow. I couldn't help but part my thighs, opening for our most needed show, even though my underwear was still in place.

"Do you want my cock inside of you, baby?" He panted for a second time.

"Yes." My voice was all breathy with need. "I want you deep inside, but my panties—"

Without a thought I gripped his shaft tightly. A groan of desperation escaped Christian's mouth. Forcefully pushing my underwear to the side I rubbed his velvet head over my damp folds. Our combined warmth was scalding, I trembled with each brush from my clit down my folds towards my entrance.

"I love you, Ana."

His cock still within my hold I violently pushed him within. My hands gripped his back as he sunk balls deep inside.

"Are. You. Ok?" Christian managed to pant in between three thrusts of passion.

"Yes." I continued to groan, concentrating on my movements.

" _Ana,_ " He growled as he pounded faster, not giving into a single slow movement.

We clung to one another like a second skin and I never wanted this passion to end.

"Harder," I commanded. "Make me come, Christian. I need to come!"

"FUCK!" We groaned in unison as Christian's hips jack-hammered into me hard. My nails raked down his damp back as we continued to scream each other's names. When I felt my muscles contract, the warmth of orgasm washed over me and Christian blew his creamy love deep inside.

We looked into each other's eyes, trying our best to catch our shaky breaths. With a swift pull he withdrew his flaccid cock and our love was oozing from between my thighs.

" _Oh God_ , Christian. I still have my panties on." I giggled, trying to hide my face in his damp chest.

" _Shhh,_ listen…" He insisted, pulling my face to his. "Marry me, my Ana." His fingers traced the shape of my neck down to my collarbone as his lips kissed me again.

My breath caught as my chest grew tight. I couldn't stop the tears. These tears of joy.

"Yes. _Oh God._ Yes."

* * *

 **AN:**

 **YOU AND ME** **\- LIFEHOUSE 2005. I changed a few lyrics in the chapter. Please take a few minutes to listen to this song. Found here - youtube dot com /** **watch?v=ac3HkriqdGQ** **[this is the song which was mentioned in Chapter 11, if you needed reference]**

 **And we are coming to an end… :( Epilogue...  
**

 **I update on my fb page (see my profile for links) and two fb groups - FSOG Fanfic Followers and FSoG Fanfic Obsessed.**

 **Thanks for reading. Please favorite, follow, review and PM any questions or concerns.**

 **See you soon…** **"EPILOGUE" (APOV)**

 **missmusicteach**


	25. Epilogue

BETA by Halo140

* * *

 **BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** Characters used are from the Fifty Shades Trilogy belong to EL James. Characters from the Lithium Springs series belongs to Carmel Rhodes. The plot is highly influenced by "The Rockers" series written by TA Browning. At times I have used some dialogue from the same series.

I own nothing. Enjoy

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **EPILOGUE**

 _ **Annie**_

No matter how many times I hear the rumbling sounds of thunder, I'm still that lonely little girl trapped in a run-down trailer back in Missouri. As each angry thundering duplicated ten-fold, I strangled out weak yelp, causing myself to slightly jump. The humid muggy air stuck my bangs to the sides of my face as I stare moody and stern at the man before me.

" _Princess_?" I didn't recognize his voice, not that I could right now, anyway. There were more important things at stake than figuring out the identity of the person watching me.

Christian warned, well urged me to stay calm as a large squall was making landfall on the southern Californian coast tonight. My expectation was to the have my guardian angels around me, but I was down to one. Goosebumps formed over my damp skin as the thought terrified me.

It was a struggle to draw breath as sharp pains swelled across my swollen belly where my daughter has safely rested for the last nine months. Muttering utter nonsense at myself, I knew the baseline for all expectant mothers. I'd read the books, so I have to be an expert. Braxton Hicks contractions are common throughout the later stages of pregnancy but fuck every member of the gynecological field for not giving me the memo that they _intensify_. I was burning as spot fires blazed over my stretched skin, lower back, hips and down below. Let's face some truth here. I swear I have flames blowing out of my vagina. Each time the pain escalates, I'm spiraling that little further down to Hell.

But, all I wanted was to know was, where the fuck was my fiancé?

Thunder crackled repeatedly, shaking our new beach house. The glass walls facing the Pacific Ocean rattled with vigour. _Please don_ _'_ _t break, please don_ _'_ _t break,_ I chanted to myself unsure if it did happen, I doubted I could call for help. Startled for the umpteenth time tonight, a flare of white light brightened my sight even with my eyes clamped shut. As I opened to see I was only plunged back in darkness hearing the light rumbles of thunder in the distance.

Why, oh why, did Mother Nature decide tonight to rein hell down on me?

"Owie, _Owie_ , OWIEEE!" My moans, evolved into screeching banshee calls. God, it feels like I'm being ripped in two, from ass to navel. "I don't even know—" Another gush fell between my legs. I needed to breathe. Evaluate what's happening, but the pain was constant, refusing to give me a moment's peace. " _Ahhh. GOD_ … ELLIOT! Elliot, where are you?" I was bearing down on all fours grunting, clenching my molars I hoped it would ease the burning agony between my thighs.

I lifted my head to see the man who was covered in salt and pepper hair. He wouldn't have been older than fifty. That's when I noticed the bastard, hooking a small grin. If he thought this was a laughing matter he had something better coming. Now if I could only stand up and kick him in the balls.

I didn't know his name or why he was in my kitchen? As the pain elevated, his large hands eased me to my feet. He had no words, only a slight Rocker head tap to his left, showing an unconscious Elliot on my kitchen floor.

Wiping my clammy palms down my tattered maternity jeans, I was shocked to feel them utterly saturated and warm. _It_ _'_ _s ok Annie, everything is under control, you_ _'_ _ve just peed your pants._ Trying my best to glance around my huge bump, I was shocked when I noticed a pinkish watery liquid covering the cloth over my legs.

"Be careful. I don't want you to slip. I don't want you to injure yourself after this rather eventful reunion." My eyes darted to the floor, staring at the puddle under my feet. " _Princess_ ," The older man whispered, stroking my brow, then through my hair with a kitchen towel, "Ell let me in. Your water broke as I walked into the kitchen. Well what can I say… he saw the blood and you know how he is… shall I holler out _Rocker Down, Rocker Down_!" He chuckled, shaking his head.

" _Blood!?_ " I exclaimed. He's hurt? "Oh my God, Elliot!" I tried to check Ell but the man stopped me.

"Elliot's fine, out cold. When he wakes he'll have a throbbing headache but leave him be. You're fine." The man rubbed my upper back. It was comforting. "The baby is fine, _Princess_." With those few words, my racing heart calmed. For once I didn't cringe hearing that name. "How far apart are the contractions, _Anastasia_? I've seen at least five in only a matter of minutes."

" _Con-trac-tions_ —" A painful bolt sprinted from my chest down to my vagina. It was excruciating and unbearable. _Contractions?_ What was he on about, these are Braxton Hicks, practice ones. _Oh God_ , " _CONTRACTIONS?_ " I groaned through gritted teeth.

A flash of light returned as thunder rumbled dissipating to nothing. _I hate storms, I hate storms, I hate storms._

"I… I don't know?" I crinkled my face, not sure if the pain was surging again. "I've had a dull ache in my back and around my stomach since… I don't know, last night? It's gradually gotten worse, but I've dealt with—" The realization hit me. I'm in labor. I'M IN FUCKING LABOR! "Christian, needs to be here… FUUUUCK!" I grasped my taut belly. The urge to be on fours was primal. "I need my jeans off, they are digging into me…"

I stopped suddenly. I didn't know who this man was? All I knew, the guys wanted to introduce a new member to the Burning Embers family to me. What ever that meant? All day I had been preparing for this banquet of a dinner and all day my back was being a pain in the ass. _Oh God_ _…_

" _Ahhh_ my BACK…." I blew quick puffs of air through my mouth trying to ease the intense torture.

" _Darling,_ do you want me to soothe your back by rubbing it or a heated cloth, maybe? Your mother found that helped during her tedious labor. You on the other hand _Princess_ , I feel this will be an abridged version."

" _What?_ " My reply was breathy as sweat poured from my forehead trying to decipher his confusing words.

"Come on, I'll help you get your pants off." His voice remained calm and relaxed.

I froze for a moment but any worry abated quickly. I don't fucking care anymore. I've had more than my share of gynecologists, nurses and endless medical staff who have seen my vagina at all angles, so I'll just add this guy to my list. Honestly, does it really matter?

"Oh God, you're not going to film this, are you?"

"Should I?" Oh no, and the tears began to fall, Christian isn't here. " _Darling_ , don't worry about it." The pain surged again or maybe its just intensified again, it's all becoming a blur.

"Fuck it! Cut it off, cut it off…HURRY!" I panted in-between my words, making my throat dry, "… there are scissors… in the second drawer… _Oh my God!_ I'm having the baby… and no one's here other than useless Ell." I turned to see he was still in the same position but alive. _You wait Elliot Grey when I get my hands wrapped around your neck!_ "Where the fuck is my fiancé? Where's Christian?" I sobbed, with everything hitting me like a tonne of bricks.

The man fumbled through the drawer, finding the scissors. "I sent a text message notifying him I had arrived, but when I tried to call, my phone reception was out. It's only open for emergencies, 911."

"This _is_ a fucking emergency!" I pointed between my legs, " _QUICK!_ " The man snipped along the seams of my jeans and they peeled away from my damp skin. "Use the house phone, call Chris." I huffed out loud.

"The house phone, it's out. _Darling_ , the power is out in the whole neighborhood."

I opened my eyes and saw the endless holiday dribble, grave stones, witches and warlocks, spiders and their webs. Tomorrow, I was going to carve a pumpkin! A slight burst of air blew through the kitchen causing the darken room to flicker with a golden glow of the pumpkin scented candles I had lit earlier this afternoon.

I'm going to give birth under flames.

My hand went directly between my thighs, my panties were completely soaked. I struggled with sheer exhaustion and this damn huge ass bump at any attempt to remove them. I was thankful as the man used my scissors to snip them off.

"Honey, you're having a baby." He had tears in his eyes and looked between my legs. "You're having a baby." His voice was full of joy and excitement, not a single hint of fear or worry.

I nodded trying to be polite but it's a little hard when a watermelon is trying to escape from your vagina.

" _Anastasia_ , I can see the head."

I sobbed into my kitchen tiles, this wasn't how I planned my daughter's birth. It was a simple check list-

1\. Hospital,

2\. Drugs, of copious amounts and assortments; and

3\. My guys with me, Christian ready to catch her.

Tears fell as I stared at my thoughtful ring on my left hand. Christian insisted having a huge pink rock, but I didn't desire the enormous price tag wrapped around my finger. I wanted an engagement ring which represented our love, our story. God, I adore him, he created such beauty for the occasion.

Damn it, I wanted my fiancé, my guardian angel with me. Right now!

Why did Ethan need to get apprehensive about meeting his half-sister, Kate. Apparently, he couldn't help but down six tequila shots before 8am, grabbing the SUV keys. We couldn't allow him to leave the house grounds, let alone become road death statistic on the way to Fresno. Since Elliot didn't come home until dawn we didn't trust his sobriety, Christian had no choice but be designated driver there and back. I couldn't say no to Ethan, he's my big brother I didn't know what was about to unfold. Luke wasn't being discharged from voluntary rehab until the third of next month. He's done so well after 75 days being sober, we all hope he's ready to share his nightmares with us. Damn Elliot was passed out on our kitchen floor, how can a grown man be afraid of blood. And this little one, you're not suppose to arrive for at least another five days! God damn it, I need _my_ guys!

Hooking my moist hair behind my ears, shaking off the thought I was alone. I wasn't. This caring man was helping me every step of the way.

Swaying my body on all fours I tried to ease some pain. I noticed a doll lying on the floor. It looked familiar but foreign. I swear it was a carbon copy of the one I had as a child before Carla completely destroyed it beyond repair, _but_? Arching my brow I gaped at the man kneeling next to me. _No, he couldn_ _'_ _t, could he?_

" _Are you ready my little Princess_ " He whispered. Both his hands soothing my lower back, preparing me for what was about to happen.

I smiled calm and ready. With no point of return, my body was involuntarily pushing, I couldn't help but contribute. Clawing the tiles with my chewed back nails, I opened my hips and bared down.

…..

All discomfort alleviated as a small whimper echoed through the kitchen. I had a baby covered in thick white mucus and blood on my hands. Instantly, I plopped it onto my stretched beyond repairs pink Burning Embers t-shirt. I tried my best to pull it down so it could nestle its body on my aching breasts. I was at a loss, I had no idea what I was supposed to do now! I was counting on hospital staff to help me with this process.

The man found some large towels, a plush blanket to cover us. I double checked to ensure we were told correctly. _A girl, she_ _'_ _s a girl!_

" _Darling,_ I finally got through…" His phone was tightly held in his hand, "the paramedics are only a few minutes away… So is it a boy? You could name him after me," He joked wiggling his brows.

I shook my head, "No, she's my little baby girl." My finger stroked her thick mucky crown trying to see the color of the little hair she had on it. _Copper_ , a head of flames.

"Darn, well that's a shame! Never any boys. Well there is always next time. I'll need to get Christian right onto it," He shrugged but I could see the smirk over his face.

" _Next time?_ Oh I don't think so. I'm waiting a good few years, or ten." I chuckled to myself. I'm going on some kind of birth control, tomorrow. I beamed at my little bundle, I was mesmerized by her perfection. " _Oh God_ , I'm so sorry. Well that happened rather quick. I guess you didn't think an introduction to the Burning Embers family would mean delivering their first offspring. I guess you're a Grandfather now." I giggled at the thought of this mystery man, continuing to coo at the bundle on my chest.

He laughed, and picked up the doll I saw earlier. "This was for my second daughter, Tatiana, unfortunately she never made it home from the hospital. I've kept this for many years, hoping her big sister would collect it." The man tidies her hair and neatened the dress, "But I think it's more appropriate for your daughter to have this gesture. I'm sure Tatiana would have wanted it."

I held the small toy in my hand, "It's odd. I had a doll just like this…" I whispered, unsure if he heard, "Oh I'm at a loss, I still don't know your name?"

"There is no need to apologize, _Darling_ , my name is Ray. Sometimes these guys of yours call me R.L.S."

"God — _you_ _'re Ray, RLS!_ Chris talks about you briefly in passing, but it's nice to finally put a face to the—"

"Anastasia." He paused, "My full name is _Raymond Leonard Steele_."

I gasped. Gripping my daughter tighter.

 _Impossible._

"I may have known your mother." Ray cleared his throat, "She broke my heart after we lost one of our twins. She became a little unstable and severely distressed… Oh I'm sorry, I shouldn't be going into this, you've just had a beautiful baby. I think we'll keep the heavy conversation for another time." He smiled, "So this evening the band had decided to surprise you with me, as your well… Oh and also I'm _Burning Embers_ new manager."

"What! _What?_ Hang on…" Tears were falling now, and not new mother tears. No, these were overwhelming tears at the revelation.

"I'm your new boss." He winked.

" _And father_ ," I whispered so soft I wasn't sure the words escaped my lips. The tears finally burned and fell. He found me.

…..

"Ana? _Jesus_ , where are you? I got Ray's message." Christian yelled from the foyer.

" _Kitchen._ " My hoarse voice ached as I called out.

Two pairs of heavy feet rushed across the house, "I tried to call to let you know we were running late due to the storm. The traffic was absolutely shit. Hopefully it wasn't too much of a disaster without me." Both Chris and Eth chuckled at one another, "Hey, it looks like the whole neighborhood has blacked out, thank God you bought fifty candles last week for… Umm Ana why the hell is my brother on the floor?" The SUV keys dropped on to the tiled floor as Chris noticed me draped in a blanket with remnants of my waters and blood over the floor. Instantly feeling nervous, I quickly tucked my damp hair behind my ears trying to gain some order as I neaten my appearance for _my_ guy.

" _Hi_ ," I waved my blood covered hand at both men. A large smile grew over my face as I felt my little bundle wiggle towards my nipple. "Sweet baby Jesus… Ouch!" _Yeah, totally natural getting your nipple sucked to death._ Honestly I've never seen Christian's mouth opened as wide even during a back-to-back orgasm. "Please don't faint like your brother." I giggled, knowing he wouldn't but I didn't want him to fall over the bloody mess. "You Ok Eth?" He didn't look much better than Christian.

"Ana. You… are you… but the baby… how…there's…" He mumbled unable to string a meaningful sentence together. Suddenly his face went pale. A little scared, he was going to collapse. I gestured, patting the blanket for him to sit next to me. Pulling down my now red shirt, the little head of newborn popped through.

"We had a baby!"Christian's voice squeaked. Looking at me, then at our bundled, around the room and back to the baby.

I, on the other hand cleared my throat and hooked my brow at him.

"Ok, _you_ had the baby but in the kitchen. Holy fuck you had the BABY! Is she ok?" He rubbed his thumb over my cheek, leaning in kissing my dry lips. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here, I feel like an asshole and—"

Pulling back trying to catch my breath, not from pain but the overwhelm sensation of love in… our kitchen."We're fine Christian. Isn't she…"

" _Perfect._ Pure perfection like her Momma," That single look, made me fall in love with him all over again.

"Christian it was just so… _fast._ " The memory still fresh in my mind as a burning sting continues between my legs.

"About 12 minutes in total from her water breaking to birth. Talk about a hell of a dinner starter." Ray chortled, wiping away the tears which were falling from his eyes.

"Ahh so _Sis_ you finally met Ray." Ethan chuckled, patting Ray on the back and shaking Christian's hand. "Jesus Annie, did you say… _she! A girl! A girl!_ I have a niece, I'm a mother-fucking Uncle."

"Did… someone mention Girls?" Elliot's groggy voice came from the floor, only to be stopped abruptly when he looked at my bodily fluids all over the kitchen tiles, passing out instantly again.

"Ahh see Annie ultimate chick whisper. I told you last night you were in labour, but you shrugged it off." Ethan whispered as he tried to see his new niece.

"Jesus Ana, why didn't you say anything? I wouldn't have gone with Eth today."

"I didn't know! It doesn't matter, maybe next time you can be at the birth." He smiled at my conclusion, yes I want to have more, but just not tomorrow.

"No need to worry Papa Grey," Ray shook Christian's hand, "This old guy is useful for a few things," He waved his phone in the air.

"Ray, you sure aren't just a pretty face. Thanks!" Christian had tears in his eyes and grabbed the phone and we started to watch the birth in action replay.

"Yes thank you," I looked back at Ray and smiled " _Grandpa_."

…..

My shirt wiggled and tugged as tiny grunts broke me from my memory of that insane night.

"Oh sorry baby girl, are you hungry?" My little one pulled at my old faithful pink _Burning Embers_ t-shirt, the very one I wore close to four months ago. The stormy night she was born.

I promised myself pregnancy will never shock me again. So I insisted with determined force for my doctors to put me on birth control. Within 48 hours of having Phoenix Ashley Grey, I started taking the mini-pill which is safe while breastfeeding. Perfect for bubba's milk and Momma's uterus.

Nix as she's known by her Uncles, well honestly she's not so little now. She was a perfect 6 pound 11 ounces as a newborn. Now she feels like a dead weigh popping my shoulders from their sockets at fourteen pounds. I've taken my mini-pill religiously and the majority of the time Chris wears a condom. I have an app on my phone as a reminder as well as my gorgeous guy remind me and at times so does Mr part-time gynaecologist, Ethan.

But here I am sitting on the edge of my bathtub thinking back to that night. The night when everything changed. I had my daughter on the tiles of my kitchen, under flickering flames. Phoenix was the only name which seemed appropriate for this copper haired girl. Apparently I christened the house according to Ethan. A hell of a baptism of fire to motherhood I say.

As Nix suckles on my right breast, I shake my head in disarray. How could this be possible? My thumb twisted my engagement ring around my finger, it's much looser compared to when it was first given to me. It's beautiful and I appreciate it with all my heart. I stared at the Red Fire Opal surrounded by very small Tourmaline and Alexandrite gem stones. The band were links, four in total. Each representing one of my guys encrusted with my birth stones of deep pink sapphires of course, all adorned in rose gold. Christian worked hard to have it especially designed and hand crafted. It doesn't look like much but each element of the band means the world to me. I'm thankful he returned that absurd platinum, 5 carat pink diamond engagement ring. It wasn't me at all, once he saw my face he knew. Diamonds are not this girl's best-friend.

My free hand went straight to my mouth and I chewed back my nails to the wick.

"Well this maybe a sign. Time to grow up and set a date Annie. No need to stuff around Papa anymore, right Nix?" I cooed at my daughter. Her beautiful blue eyes looked back at me just like the night she was born. Only now the cheeky girl is grinning, causing her milk to dribble down her face.

 _Oh baby girl, no time for giggling, this let down is intense. Don_ _'_ _t waste it, feed up._

Who would believe four scruffy teenagers from Missouri would become the most amazing men central to my universe… and my _father._ The transition to motherhood has been incredibly easy and I thank these Gods in their own rights. The last four months have flown and they have barely let me raise a finger after Nix made her abrupt entry to the world.

Luke protects and treats Nix like his own. Elliot volunteers to regularly change diapers, I'm not too happy with him for using her as a wing-baby to gain dates along Malibu beach. Ethan plays, reads and cherishes Nix like a little sister. It melts my heart as it reminds me the way our special friendship began so many years ago. And lastly Papa Christian. I have never seen a man give so much love to such a small soul. I'm glad my daughter has two loving parents. Something we both lacked during our childhood.

Both Christian and Ray have kept a close eye on me because they know how I can be - stubborn and defiant. But with four to eight feeds per night have set a toll on my sanity and I don't have the energy to argue.

It's beyond surreal finding Ray and saying his title, _Father, Daddy, Dad_. He is my real father, not a faint memory or a dream. I'm shocked he looked for me and Carla for years. This was a sweet caring Carla, someone I never met. I couldn't not forgive him for that, it was the least he'd deserved. When Christian told me he had a poster of Ray's rock band _Irons, Stone, Steele_ on his bedroom wall back in Missouri, I stared at those blue eyes most nights, wishing they were my Dad's since Carla's were a dark brown. The icing on the cake was discovering he was Christian's mentor, a father figure he had been speaking with back and forth over the years. I felt like there had been some sort of cosmic shift in my small universe of men, obviously meaning that we were going to meet at some point. Who would have guess that it would take place delivering his first granddaughter.

Having Ray a part of my life, as well as my daughter's, makes a smile appear on my face, a smile I never, ever want to get rid of.

I had so many questions and Ray kindly answered no matter how difficult it must have been for him to answer. When I asked about my twin - Tatiana, I held my little Nix tightly in my arms, refusing to let her go. For my sister to die while entering this world but for me to be blessed with life, is such a bitter sweet thing Mother Nature can give and take in a single moment. No one ever told me that I had a sibling, let alone a twin. My mother, Carla never did anything but abuse and neglect me. In hindsight, maybe she blamed me for her daughter's death… but I'll never know. Hopefully they are both at peace together for eternity.

The Father, Daughter relationship has slowly been developing between the two of us. His kind blue eyes and warm smile are only a few of the things that make being around Ray Steele special. Oh and of course, seeing the old guy with his granddaughter cradling in his arms has me in tears every time. Damn hormones still playing havoc with my body.

Christian, _my_ guy has been a multitudes of everything. He's my rock and hard place, my soft comfy pillow and my tough masseuse, my personal chef and my never ending personal feeder, the night watchman and the quick butt changer, but my favourite, the eternal lover.

Seeing him with our daughter; playing with her and singing her lullabies… it warms my heart, stirring those flames around in my forever growing soul. I'm always so tongue tied and utterly exhausted to find the perfect words to thank him for his everything, so _I love you_ suffices for now.

Twisting Nix copper curls around my fingers, I'm glad _Burning Embers_ agreed to tour in the new year when she is a little older, but I have this flickering feeling inside that plans maybe changing… fast.

I grabbed the white stick from the counter as Nix continued to feed on my breast. I turned it over.

 **PREGNANT 2-3 weeks**

…..

"So how are my girls this morning?" Christian whispered over the phone. I could hear instruments playing away on loop and it was obvious he was in the studio working.

"I've changed my mind? I want to do it today!" My heart was pounding, what happens if he doesn't agree?

"Umm what are you talking about? Ana I know last night you weren't feeling well but I can't drop everything right now and make love to you. It's tempting, trust me, I feel like my balls are going to explode—"

"No! _Shhh_ , listen." I paused, my palm was sweating over the phone, it was now or never. "Married, I want to get married. I'm sorry I've been a hormonal mess, and a colossal bitch with you all these months. I know you wanted to get married the day after you asked but I didn't know what I wanted and then Nix came so quickly I was in shock, but I know now. The time is perfect."

"You're not shitting me are you?" He gulped.

"No this is most definitely not a prank. I want to get married. I realise now nothing is stopping us and that I love you, Nix… and the baby." I held my breath waiting.

There was a sudden thud and smack on the other end and the possibility of Christian fainting hadn't passed me.

" _Christian?_ " I whispered, trying not to disturb Nix sleeping in the crook of my arm. " _CHRISTIAN?_ " I tried my best at yelling, quietly.

" _You_ _'re_ …" His voice was much louder.

"Yes."

"But we're careful, I wear condoms for fucks sakes... _most of the time_... Holy shit, Nix is only—-"

"I know, I know, and… So do you wanna get married?" I giggled.

"I'm already finding flights to Vegas."

 **~THE END~**

* * *

 **AN:**

 **Sorry not sorry, long message ahead!**

 **I have appreciated each and every reader during the BE journey.**

 **Burning Embers began in early April, at the time I was hit by a roadblock with the story I was writing. Late one night I read, "The Rocker that Holds Me" and the bunny started hopping. The ladies of NaNoWriMo Camp (April) - motivated me, pushed me and opened my eyes to new skills to finish this bunny. Somehow I really did completed it! Holy Moly!**

 **Now, I can't forget to thank Halo140. She volunteered to BETA BE. The hours she slaved over my jumbled, misspelled words and horrid grammatical errors over the last two months but always kept asking for more. Lol**

 **A special mention to the wonderful and brilliant author Stargazer93. This epilogue would still be unfinished (and some chapters too) if it wasn't for her magical guidance, amazing ideas and words. I still believe I would be lost without your daily presence! Thank you, thank you!**

 **I** **f you are planning to read/compare BE to the original "The Rockers" series by Terri Ann Browning, I would love to hear your thoughts, PM here on ff or add the discussion on my fb page/messenger or any of the FSoG FF groups I'm a part of.**

 **Again I've cherished every review, PM, favourite, and follow throughout this crazy ride!** **Since I have had a few requests regarding a playlist, I have complied all the songs which helped me throughout the writing process (That I could remember listening to, or were in my notes). I will post this playlist tomorrow (or maybe in a few hours lol).**

 **WOW, I can't believe it's over… for now.** **Until next time, laters.**

 **missmusicteach**


	26. The Playlist

**BURNING EMBERS**

* * *

 **DISCLAIMER:** I do not own any of the following songs.

 **missmusicteach**

* * *

 **THE PLAYLIST**

In no particular order, these songs helped/inspired me complete the story - BURNING EMBERS. All links are for youtube.

 **Seven Days** \- _Sting_ /watch?v=pG7_gceIFL4

 **The Sound of Silence** \- _Simon & Garfunkel (cover by Disturbed)_ /watch?v=u9Dg-g7t2l4

 **Dream On** \- _Aerosmith_ /watch?v=hHRNSeuvzlM

 **Fine Again** \- _Seether_ /watch?v=ET3-t1jFmo0

 **Tangled Up in You** \- _Staind_ /watch?v=icb2baV9MgA

 **Lips of an Angel** \- _Hinder_ /watch?v=RiSfTyrvJlg

 **You and Me** \- _Lifehouse_ /watch?v=rzJikUFVxes

 **Everything** \- _Lifehouse_ /watch?v=YtmCBzWKK2E

 **Pieces** \- _Red_ /watch?v=8Uw8mIcQJn8

 **Not Afraid Anymore** \- _Hasley_ /watch?v=dk4S0F0_UVw

 **Unrequited Love** \- _Yuna_ /watch?v=tPLAS-x4Pg0

 **Heaven** \- _Bryan Adams_ /watch?v=3eT464L1YRA

 **Silent Lucidity** \- _Queensrÿ_ _che_ _(cover by Mick Blankenship)_ /watch?v=x8z2el1hR24

 **Broken Wings** \- _Mr. Mister_ /watch?v=nKhN1t_7PEY

 **Fall to Pieces** \- _Velvet Revolver (cover Slash + Myles Kennedy)_ /watch?v=eivRkhXr2vM

 **Price of Love** \- _Bad English_ /watch?v=AuJqJ7j7HVY

 **With Arms Wide Open** \- _Creed_ /watch?v=99j0zLuNhi8

 **Wicked Game** \- _Chris Issak (cover Chase Eagleson)_ /watch?v=7Qwk4sBYfM0

 **Room to Breathe** \- _You Me At Six_ /watch?v=IPtUV01R1RE

 **Cosmic Love** \- _Florence + The Machine_ /watch?v=2EIeUlvHAiM

 **You Really Got Me** \- _The Kinks_ /watch?v=fTTsY-oz6Go&feature= 

**Shine** \- _Collective Soul_ /watch?v=_m0bI82Rz_k

 **Why Does It Always Rain On Me?** \- _Travis_ /watch?v=PXatLOWjr-k

* * *

 **AN:**

 **I'm sure there were more songs but these were the only ones I wrote down in my notes. Are there any songs you thought of (listened to) while reading Burning Embers? I would love to hear your suggestions.**

 **I've been asked this question quite a lot - _"Is there a sequel?"_ Currently there isn't, I would love to write one. At the moment I'm tackling other writing projects. So the earliest I can start writing BE again would be in the new year. So who knows, maybe next year? Bring on 2018!**

 **Until next time, laters.**

 **missmusicteach**


End file.
